At Fault
by seductivefeline
Summary: Tavros Nitram is a disabled teenager who is succumbed to bullying and has terrible self-confidence. It's only when he meets a strange man named Gamzee Makara that his life begins to take a turn for the better. AU, rated M for language/sexual content. (Edit: ON HIATUS!)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So it's been a while since I have uploaded anything, and for a good reason I guess. I decided it was time to write a new fanfiction for my newest OTP; Tavros and Gamzee from Homestuck. I haven't read it all, but I know the comic inside and out. I'm a bit nervous uploading this, but my friends suggested I should so...!**

**Summary: Tavros is a disabled teenager who is succumbed to bullying and has terrible self-confidence. It's only when he meets a strange boy named_ Gamzee Makara_ that his life begins to, maybe, take a turn for the better. AU, yaoi, rated M for cursing (it's Gamzee guise) and sexual content. **

**Pairing: Gamzee/Tavros**

**Rated: M**

**Warnings: This will contain male on male sexual content.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. They belong to God- I mean Satan- I mean Hussie.**

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><p><em><strong>Chapter notes: I'm sorry if this sounds.. dark or angst-y? It's mostly just a prologue or opening rather than the first actual chapter.<strong>_

_**At Fault: Chapter 1**_

_The first day he was in a wheelchair seemed to be the end of his rather short life. _Figuratively, of course. His sort of life lead up until that point had been rather affectionate and active. He had always been a vivid and positive child, always looking on the bright side of things, even when times were a bit tough. He tended to have an influence on the people around him as well, obliquely changing their minds over many different things. He always had intense, yellow-ish eyes the captivated those around him and a large smile that caused adults to gush. Even at such a young age he felt it was his job to make these people happy. Anybody he cared about was his top priority, even though this revolution wasn't always conscience. It was just natural for him. He was the same towards his cousins and friends and aunts and uncles. His entire family he made sure was always safe and happy, because nothing meant more to him.

They were there for him too as well. He remembered when he would wake up in the middle of the night, gasping, sometimes drenched with sweat and screaming about the monsters. He could never recall what they looked like after he woke up he just knew it was terrible. It would make him cry. His parents would be there in an instant, hugging him close and patting his short hair. They whispered words of comfort until his breathing was back to normal, and he was convinced the monsters that inundated his mind were nothing but fantasy. Sometimes it got bad though, he'd always had a dark subconscious that he simply couldn't help, and one day his mother came home with the strangest stuffed animal of a bull with wings, It was white as the snow that fell in the winter, and as soft as a cloud looked. That night he hugged it and no nightmares plagued his dreams. He was terror-free until morning. He decided then to name this new plush of his Tinkerbull. It rarely left his sight after his mother gave it to him, and it slept in his grasp each night.

When his mother had what she called a 'miscarriage' when he was six, he did not understand what it meant back then. Only that his mom would stay up late into the night and cry with his father at her side. One night he had shuffled nervously over to her, awoken by her and Dad's sobs. He was picked up into her lap, and he carefully hugged her around the neck and pressed his nose into her neck. He always used to love the lingering smell of her makeup and perfume and Dad. He felt her and Dad's arms around him, and he let out a hushed whimper: 'I do not like seeing Mommy sad…'

She seemed to be better after that, if only a bit solemn. She also explained what it meant to have a miscarriage- how she was going to have another child but it died before it could live. He was a smart boy, but he still quite didn't understand. He only had known he needed to care for her and made sure she was happy.

Not long after the miscarriage she was fine and happy once more. Nothing thrilled him more than when she walked through the door one day with that toothy grin and obvious dimples. He was curious at the sudden change in mood, and once caught a quick bit of a conversation they were having in private. His mother was 'pregnant' apparently. Her tone had been hushed, and brimming with emotion. He was confused what this meant, and when he heard crying he burst into the room and began wailing and shoving Tinkerbull into his mother's arms and tried to assure her everything would be alright. She had taken it in her arms, and his father picked his son up. Together they explained that he would have a sibling; a little brother or sister to play with. He had been overjoyed at this, and spent the week bouncing around the house and singing about how he was going to have a playmate! His mother and father smiled for him. He was showing no sign of hate or envy towards the thought of another child taking their attention. They were lucky to have such a kind, strong, healthy boy.

He was only seven when it happened. It shouldn't have happened either; it was simply an accident of asking if, on the way home from aunt's house (he and his parents had spent the afternoon there), that they stop for dinner at McDonalds. He wasn't a child to make trouble, but he _really_wanted the new toys they were offering with the kid's meal. After much begging to his parents, his mother, who saw nothing wrong with the prospect really, gave into her son's wish. She had hastily shifted lanes so she could get off on the right exit. But if only, _if only, _the young boy had known. He didn't need a toy or a meal, he really didn't but he didn't know what would happen, it didn't even cross his mind. He thought he was safe, he thought his parents were safe, he thought the world was a safe place and nothing bad could happen.

So when there was a hOnK and the screeching of tires, his ears were filled with desperate screams made by his mother and father, and maybe even himself. His view out his window was nothing but a huge trunk swerving out of control and right for them. The driver's terrified face was the last thing he consciously noticed before everything hurt. It was dark, and something felt very hot; maybe it was something on fire, or the friction of metals colliding. There was a lot of wailing and yelling. The stink of blood and smoke, and burnt flesh and skin filled the smoky air. He could hear distant anguished calls of his father, and he wanted to reach out for him, to comfort his dear father from whatever was ailing him but he couldn't. He couldn't move. Blood everywhere, so much of it. His arms hurt, his torso ached, his head throbbed, but worst of all;

_His legs felt invisible. _

Unfortunately that wasn't the worst of all. He woke up in a hospital bed who knows how long later. He'd lost a lot of blood, and he had many bruises and cuts. His chest hurt, and his head was still throbbing. Generally all around he felt terrible. But one thing he had remembered was not feeling his legs. They felt… They felt as if they weren't there. There was a tingling in his upper legs but that was the extent of it. Curious, he had removed the covers of the small bed he had been placed in and recoiled with a screech. His legs were _gone._ There was nothing but nubs about halfway down to the knee. Just empty air, no skin or bone or muscle.

He screamed again and began crying. The tears flowed as he struggled to get away from his own legs, or rather the emptiness that had once been occupied by them. He ended up on the floor, tricked by the illusion that he still had functioning legs. He let out another scream as the nubs ground against the floor like deadweight. It hurt terribly, and he kept wailing for help all the while sobbing like the pitiful child he was. It was a long time before a nurse came rushing in.

Once she put him back in bed and re-bandaged his legs (since he caused one of his leg nubs to bleed again from the fall) his father came in into the whitewashed room. His expression was solemn at first but as his eyes landed on him they became expressionless.

"Daddy…?" he managed to hiccup between convulsing sobs. He was confused and hurt and wanted his mother as well. "My legs- they aren't there!" he shouted, "where's mommy? I have not seen her!"

"…Tavros." He had went to his son's bed, but didn't make a move further, even when Tavros instinctively reached out his arms in the hopes of a comforting hug. He blinked. Slowly. "Tavros your mother is dead."

"Mr. Nitram…!" the nurse who had been tending to Tavros had gasped, "The doctor told you not to be so sudden about telling the poor boy!" It had been obvious from her voice she'd known and pitied both of them greatly. "You probably just sent him into deeper shock."

Tavros hadn't heard his father's reply. His blood was roaring in his ears; he could feel his own heartbeat in his head; his tears were streaming uncontrollably down his cheeks and quickly reddening his pale skin. He couldn't even control the pitiful sobbing that followed. He'd only realized his life came crashing down. His mother was… was… He was wailing, but he couldn't hear himself. The nurse was probably hugging him by now as he cried and cried and cried…

From then on his life really had come to a halt. It seemed from then that everything fell. After his mother's funeral his father decided to move away from the small town they had lived in for so long. Tavros sat silently in the car as they drove past the cemetery on their way out of the town for the last time; he could see his father gaze out at the gravestones pensively. It was one of the last times Tavros had ever seen his father look so emotional. Tavros had reached out to his father, but his hand was pushed away. His comfort wasn't needed, or rather, wasn't welcomed. He was so used to being there for his father and his mother, only wishing for their happiness, but it wasn't like that anymore.

Tavros started a new school in a new city. He was a handicap now, with a wheelchair and all. It was impossible to not notice the way he had been stared at. He hadn't missed the other student's rude comments or sneers or their evident fear. Sometimes he was called nicknames too. The other children were often too afraid to confront him and his strange machine. For many of the children, people in wheelchairs were a rare sight. It took many months for him to be asked about his wheelchair by another student.

"Why do you roll around in that thing anyway?" He had remembered being asked that question one afternoon on the school playground. A group of boys from another class had gotten up enough courage to ask. The leader looking one who asked looked generally curious, but with a sort of guarded expression.

"I… I c-can't walk." He stammered. He didn't talk much those days, not to his father or to anybody at school. He was developing a stutter that only got worse. He had always had a bit of a stammer in his words back before his mother died, but it wasn't too obvious back then. Now it was, however; it developed more lately because of his lowering self-confidence (and the way the child were watching him didn't help.)

"Why? You have legs." The other boy glanced at his pant legs. Tavros had worn long pants so it appeared he at least had legs. Who would want to see his ugly, nubs anyway?

"I… well… I still can't walk." Tavros had replied to the boy. Before the other child had replied however, there was a scream when one of them had poked Tavros's 'leg' and realized there was nothing inside the veil of fabric. Tavros didn't have time to protest before the boy lifted his pant leg up only to see empty air.

"HE HAS NO LEG!" he had screamed. The other boys looked panicked and began to run away.

Tavros remembered them shouting the word freak as they raced away across the playground.

_…Freak…_

When he got home from school that day he rolled up to him and tipped his head, "Dad?"

"Hm?" His father replied gravely, not looking up from some documents he was reading for work.

"Am I freak?" His voice was so indignant. He was fighting tears.

"Anybody who kills their mother is a freak, Tavros," was his simple reply. It was said in such a plain manner, as if the fact he said something that would normally be unacceptable to say to your child.

Tavros cried himself to sleep that night, Tinkerbull tightly held between his fingers. It seemed from that time on his father reminded him frequently that it was his fault his mother died; if he hadn't asked for that forsaken toy like a 'spoiled rotten child' none of this would have happened. Tavros suspected his father was just hurt but… after hearing it for about 100 times it just sunk in.

_It was his fault his mother died. It was his fault he lost his legs. And it was his fault his father was hurting so terribly._

He had gone through life believing that. Years passed and he had long since grown used to using his wheelchair. He'd forgotten what it was like to have legs, and the thought of having them… well, was silly. He guessed he'd grown so used to not having legs that he wouldn't be able to adapt if he'd somehow gotten new legs. Not that he ever COULD get new legs; prosthetics were too expensive and there was no way his father would 'waste' the money on him. They were stuck as nubs.

For years he was reminded just how much of a disability they were He tried not to believe the terrible words thrown at him- "freak" or "robot" etc, etc. The nicknames that had scarred him in elementary school had chased him into middle school. It had become the norm for him, but that didn't mean he wasn't hurt. Despite it, he did his best to keep a small smile on his face. After all he was alive, right? At least he could still go on living even if his mother didn't.

Often he found himself isolated in his room and playing his online roleplaying games and card games. Despite not having any friends in real life, he had a small selection of friends on the computer. Granted, one backstabbed him terribly and left him with even fewer friends. He preferred his online friends anyway, even though they knew he was paraplegic most of them treated him fine. A few were a bit sour, but he tried not to let it bother him. Whenever he couldn't be in his room he was in the library reading fantasy books. He had a fascination with the fictional world. It was in them he could imagine he flights through fantasy and fight various beasts not found in the conscience world.

At times when his sanctuary of the modest school library was interrupted by some bored kids looking for something to do he usually left right then before they could tease him. Sometimes it was too late though, and he'd end up face-first on the ground because they tipped him out of his chair and dumped the contents of his book-bag around him. Other times they would take his books and put it on the highest shelves so he couldn't reach them. Anytime this happened, he did his best to fight back any tears and just appear unaffected. It didn't always work though, especially having them mock him endlessly.

It wasn't even about his wheelchair anymore. It was just years and years of pointless discrimination for things he couldn't control. His stutter, the fact he was a social outcast, the fact that he had a Mohawk which was 'outdated' and a 'fashion disaster', the fact he didn't have a girlfriend also brought up rumors of him being a 'faggot', oh and he was generally just an all around awkward guy. He didn't mind, or at least made sure to look like he didn't. He just took it all until the kids got bored for the time being and left him alone.

It was 8th grade when he met his first friend. It had been rather unexpected; a strange young girl transferred into one of his classes. She had short black hair and wore a cat hat always. She dressed sort of… overly warm, especially for the time of year; she had been decked out in a thick coat and gloves, and of course the previously mentioned cat hat. She had looked fun for the most part, however. When she had come over to sit next to him though, he felt a little nervous. He offered her a polite smile at the least so he wouldn't make yet another enemy.

He had been surprised when they seemed to just click and she began reeling out words. A lot of words. So many words that Tavros sometimes felt overwhelmed. Despite the sheer amount she talked though, Tavros felt fine around her. In fact he had preferred it that way since he'd never been one much for talking to people he didn't know well. He was fine just listening.

Her name was Nepeta Leijon, and probably one of the nicest people Tavros had ever met. Her best friend- Equius Zahhak- was the hugest person Tavros laid eyes on. He was frightening and rather intimidating at first, but Equius treated him with a quiet respect for the soul reason that Nepeta favored Tavros so much. Tavros however noticed the increased discrimination Nepeta was getting for hanging around the social outcast. One day he asked her about it, and she just smiled and said, "If they don't like me hanging out with you that's THEIR problem! You're kind and purr-fect the way you are."

Nepeta was the only thing really keeping Tavros sane it seemed. He did his best to act cheerful most of the time, but it was difficult. He'd never once thought about suicide, but… what was the point if we would just be subjected to this all the time?

By 11th grade Nepeta and Tavros had no classes together. They only saw each other before or after school and a few times during passing if timing happened to be right. This certainly didn't help Tavros- Nepeta and Equius had defended him against the bullies and the sneers and stares he got in the hallways as he carefully rode to class. He was mostly ignored now though, only when another teenager will be bored or Tavros happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time would they do something bad to him.

Only that something was usually a lot worse than the taunts and occasional physical abuse from earlier grades. Like putting super-adhesive in the parts of his wheelchair, or blocking ramps and making him repeatedly late to class so his grade would lower. They would take his bag and hold it high above his head while snickering. Some people defended him out of sympathy, but most of that pity was lost back in elementary school. He was a social outcast- both at school and at home. His father never let up with the accusation. He reminded his son at least several times a week how it was his fault his mother died. Tavros had grown used to it. Each day passed slowly, and with each day he grew more solemn. He almost never saw Nepeta, which upset him far more than she could know. He relied on her for sanity purposes. His stutter, which had very slowly been disappearing since he met Nepeta, was back within a month of not speaking to her on a normal basis. He'd always been the nervous type, even around Nepeta, but that too came full on after only a month. He did his best to get by day by day in his wheelchair and his isolation, and sometimes the memories were comforting things, but it was never enough.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews! I was very pleasantly surprised when I casually checked my email this morning in math and found reviews and favorites and alerts! Made my day. c:{**

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><p><strong><em>Chapter notes: I wanted to upload this early since I had it done. In my Journal I've already written up to chapter 9... I guess I should start digitalizing them.<em>**

**_At Fault: Chapter 2_**

It wasn't very late in the afternoon when Tavros rolled in from school. He had nowhere else to go except home so he didn't hesitate to retire to his room and get on his computer. He felt like leveling up his character in his roleplaying game. He quickly booted up his computer and logged into _pesterchum _as well as opened up WoW. He threw himself into his game, unaware of most everything around him. Over in the small cage, his bearded dragon scrabbled at the rocks and foliage in a protest for food (it wasn't his dinnertime but that hardly mattered to the piggish lizard). Tavros really just wanted to ignore everything, really. The only way he could get out of his reality was to lose himself in the fun of his roleplaying games, like WoW or FLARP. He allowed himself to be forgotten within the game. It grew dark in his room and night came full-on, but he still hadn't moved from his spot. It was hours before he pulled his eyes away from the screen and rolled away from his desk; his father was calling him from downstairs.

He rolled away from his computer and was careful not to knock over his piles of trading cards that littered around his whole floor. It was a real inconvenience and every time he passed it he wondered why he never cleaned up the mess. He rolled out his room and stopped at the top of the stairs. It was a real obstacle for him obviously, so instead of wasting the time he just called to his father who was still impatiently waiting downstairs. "Y-yeah dad?"

"_Get your ass down here_!"

There was a sigh. No use fighting it, he guessed. He struggled out of his chair and crawled down the stairs. He'd been doing this since they moved to the house almost ten years ago, so it wasn't a big deal. It was just time consuming and tedious. He really didn't have a problem with it anyway; his father couldn't afford any other house. He certainly didn't want to cause trouble for him! Besides his arm muscles had grown very strong.

Once to the bottom of the stairs and back in his other wheelchair that he always kept near the stairs he wheeled into the kitchen where his father was standing over the message machine. He cast a somber look over at his son, "I have been calling for you for three minutes."

"I-I'm sorr-ry." Tavros murmured as he wheeled himself over to the counter. "W-what did y-you need?"

"I got another call from school. Today you skipped math class." His father glared down at him, "being late for all these classes, and then you SKIP one? Do you have any shame?"

Tavros looked away, "I-it wasn't my fault." It really wasn't. Other students blocked the elevator so he couldn't get to the second floor where the classroom was located. They would often do it to make him late, but never had they kept him from actually missing an entire class. It was very shaming, really. But there was nothing he could have done.

"I suppose it isn't your fault that your mother died too!" his father growled and rubbed his temples in exasperation, "The call said we are to visit with the counselors tomorrow. Now I have to miss work. I hope you're happy with yourself."

Tavros fiddled his thumbs around each other, "I'm s-sorry Dad…" It was futile fighting it. Whether his dad knew of Tavros' bullying or not, it hardly mattered.

"I wonder if you really are." His father replied. "I get calls from school all the time. Don't you know how to behave?"

"I-I do behave, just… Sorry, Dad." All he could do his apologize and hope his father doesn't get angry with him.

"If you behaved we wouldn't be going to have a meeting with your counselor." His Dad snorted and went to the fridge to pull out a beer, "go back to your room, Tavros. I don't want to be reminded of your existence right now."

Tavros nodded and wheeled out of the kitchen. He climbed up the stairs- which were easier to climb up than down- and instantly went back on his computer to find somebody messaging him.

**-apocalypseArisen [AA] began pestering adiosToreador [AT]-**

AA: hell0

AT: uHHH, hELLO aRADIA,

AT: wHAT'S UP?

AA: n0thing really

AA: I just g0t on I th0ught I w0uld message you

AA: y0u were upset last night

AA: actually y0u are upset every night it seems

AT: i WAS BUT THAT'S OKAY,

AT: aRE YOU ON WOW OR FLARP RIGHT NOW,

AA: n0 n0t yet

AA: did y0u start with0ut me

AT: hUH, nO i DIDN'T,

AA: 0kay

AA: h0w are you t0day

AA: did anyb0dy get y0u into tr0uble

AT: uHHH, yEAH BUT ITS NO BIG DEAL,

AT: hAPPENS ALL THE TIME,

AT: jUST THIS TIME THE SCHOOL CALLED MY DAD,

AA: what did y0ur dad say 0_0

AA: wait what happened in the first place

AT: jUST THAT i COULDN'T GO TO CLASS TODAY, uHHH,,, bECAUSE SOME KIDS BLOCKED THE ELEVATOR,,,

AA: that is terrible

AT: wORSE THINGS HAPPEN,

AA: what did y0ur dad say

AT: hE WAS UPSET THAT WE HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW FOR A, uHHHH, cOUNSELOR'S MEETING,

AT: i THINK,,,,

AA: for missing class or that you were bullied 0ut of making it t0 class

AT:,,,, fOR MISSING CLASS

AA: i can assume you did n0t even tell your father that it was from a bully

AT: iT DOESN'T MATTER, rEALLY,

AA: yes it d0es

AT: cAN WE JUST PLAY THE GAME,,,

AA: I just want to make sure y0u are 0kay

AT: i AM FINE,

AT: rEALLY,

AT: iF i WASN'T FINE i WOULD INFORM YOU SO,

AT: bECAUSE THAT IS WHAT FRIENDS DO,

AA: i hardly believe you but i w0nt waste time fighting y0u ab0ut it

AA: i am g0ing to l0g 0n

AT: sEE YOU THERE,

**-apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased pestering adiosToreador [AT]-**

Tavros sat back in his chair and waited. His only other close friend was too kind to him. She was his roleplaying buddy on all the games he played as well as a good personal friend. She always asked about his problems, but never shared any of her own. It made Tavros feel a little selfish always telling her about his father or his school problems each time they talked. Ah well, at least they never talked for long, they spent most of the time playing on an array of online games, which was perfectly fine with him. Dwelling on his problems was never a thing he liked to do.

It wasn't a long wait before he noticed his friend was online now. He wasted no time plunging back into his game and playing with his friend late into the night. It calmed his nerves greatly, and he forgot about his daytime problems. Bullies and his dad were far in the back of his mind as he became his character and explored virtual worlds with his good friend.

It was when she had to sign off that all the memories of the day returned.

**-apocalypseArisen [AA] began pestering adiosToreador [AT]-**

AA: g00dnight

AA: g00d luck t0mm0rr0w

AT: tHANKS,

AT: yOU TOO,

**-apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased pestering adiosToreador [AT]-**

Tavros glanced at the clock and found it was terribly late; too late to take a shower. It took a long time for him to take showers, naturally. He'd probably end up waking his father up anyway with the running water and get yelled at. He just decided to go straight to bed and hope for the best tomorrow. Getting into bed was a bit of an inconvenience, but once Tinkerbull was in his tight grasp and his head comfortably resting on his pillow he was out like a light.

Tavros woke with a start. He'd been dreaming, or rather; having a nightmare. It wasn't frequent luckily, just on some nights where his thoughts were churning. Sitting up in bed he turned off his incessantly annoying alarm and tried to push away the feelings after the dream. It was another one of the crash he had been in all those years ago, only his mother didn't die. She was alive. She didn't even have to go to the hospital for any sort of wounds or injuries. She was different though; she had no emotions. She went by impassively, and she when she walked her legs wouldn't move. Her flesh had begun to rot, and her eyes fell out, leaving dark, gaping holes that crawled and wriggled with white, sticky maggots. Her nails and teeth continued to grow until they were grotesque and gnarly. When she tried to hug him, whispering unintelligible words that echoed through the space between them, he screamed in pure fear and cried until wakefulness. Dreams like that were a bit rare for him these days, but they still happened and he'd grown used to them by now.

Moving quickly, he knew there wasn't time for a shower again. It took at least an hour to properly wash himself, and he just didn't have the time that morning. He pulled off the clothes he fell asleep in and quickly re-clothed with some cleaner attire. It was a struggle to get into a pair of long jeans; he had to have a struggle on top of his bed, wriggling his hips and trying to put his pants on. Once back on his chair, he smoothed them out; he still had a habit of making it look like he had legs to avoid scaring anybody. He easily slipped on a button-up gray shirt and ran a comb there his Mohawk, making sure it was tame and fluffy. _Perhaps it was time to cut it here soon… or maybe dye the tips_… Tavros mused as he wheeled himself to the staircase. He crawled down the stair He thought nothing of it most of the time, especially when he was distracted by other things; like today's meeting. His fingers prickled with nervousness as he pulled himself onto his other chair that he kept at the bottom of the staircase and wheeled himself into the kitchen.

"Morning, Tavros. Are you ready to go finally?" His father asked uninterestedly from the kitchen table, his nose in today's newspaper and his hand holding a cup of coffee. The scene looked sort of comically stereotypical.

"Yeah." He was going to have breakfast but that could wait, he supposed.

"Good." He finished his coffee and abandoned his paper and left the kitchen, Tavros following close behind.

His father waited impatiently as Tavros wriggled into the backseat of the car and folded the wheelchair up and pulled it in as well. The drive to school was very quiet. He had quite a dislike for riding in cars, and the reason was obvious. His father didn't care for it much either, especially with Tavros in the car as well. Sometimes he noticed his father shift his gaze up into the rear-view mirror just to glower at him in the backseat for a few short moments before he returned his gaze back to the road. Tavros's fingers prickled uncomfortably again and he looked outside instead. He nervously watched every passing car with a certain fear. It was silly; _who gets into a car accident twice?_

They drove up into the school parking lot. His dad wasted no time making his way towards the building while Tavros pulled out his wheelchair and unfolded it while trying not to fall out of the car seat. Once he slithered rather awkwardly into the wheelchair and shut the car door some nearby kids exchanged glances and snickered at him. The nervous boy turned his head away and hurriedly rolled after his dad who was already at the entrance of the school. They made it to the counselor's office again in a lingering silence.

A lady at the desk near the door glanced up as they entered, "Mr. Nitram and his son, correct?"

His dad nodded, "I was called for my son missing yet another class."

The desk-lady arched up her eyebrow, "Missing class, huh?" She cast an unsure glance at Tavros before shrugging and picking up her phone and pressed a single button. "Mr. Nitram and his son are here."

There was a muffled reply before she returned the phone to the receiver and fixed them with another look, "You can go down the hallway behind me to the second door." She said before returning to her work.

The two headed down the said hallway. It was painfully narrow, and it was difficult to get through the doorway to the cramped office. The air was thick and warm and stunk of coffee and cheap cologne, sorta of like the kind his dad wears. The walls were decorated with sheets of paper that had varying types of information on them, as well as bulletin boards, drawings students made, and generic pictures of presumably the counselor's family. There were several awkwardly scattered chairs, a wide desk in the corner and several boxes and filing cabinets with overflowing papers. He rolled over a paper and it made a loud crinkling sound; he then flinched when the counselor and his father looked up at him curiously.

"Good morning you two. My name is Mr. Johnson." The counselor finally said when Tavros got himself situated in the corner and out of the way, "I hope this meeting wasn't an inconvenience, Mr. Nitram."

"It was a little bit. I had work today, but I can afford to take a day off if my son is acting badly in school." His father replied with a sort of scornful, calm voice.

Mr. Johnson offered a crooked smile, "ah yes. Well, there lies the one of the problems. You see Tavros here isn't a bad student at all. His grades are average, see." He turned to his computer, clicked this, typed that and pulled up a digital record of Tavros's grades. "You can see here, B's mostly, with a C or two."

"Well nice to know my son doesn't fail at everything." Tavros's father muttered, "So if he isn't a bad student why am I here?"

"You're here because he has been late to class too many times," Mr. Johnson explained, "He's been having struggles socially, as well."

"I'm not surprised, who could stand to be around Tavros anyway?" His father said it as if it were the most natural thing to say in the presence of your child.

Tavros didn't react, like usual he was used to it. He kept his eyes trained on Mr. Johnson instead. He looked a little uncomfortable at his dad's statement about Tavros, "do you usually talk about your son like that?"

"I'm only saying what he knows very well himself." He said in a disregarding manner, maybe even a little bored.

Tavros suddenly had eye contact with Mr. Johnson and he immediately glanced down at his lap. The way Mr. Johnson had looked at him was a bit strange. He stared at his fingers as if they were the most fascinating things in the world. _I should really paint them or something, _he thought, feigning interest in his own nails.

"…Okay. Mr. Nitram you do know your son is bullied?" Mr. Johnson inquired, leaning a little forward.

"Oh? Still being called names from the playground?" His father sounded generally uninterested, which hurt Tavros more than he would care to admit.

"I would assume so. " Mr. Johnson said, still eying Tavros. "Hey… Tavros, why don't you leave for a bit? I'd like to speak to your father in private."

Tavros glanced up at him, a bit surprised, "D-do I have t-to go to class?"

"No. The meeting isn't over yet… come back in about 10 minutes alright?" Mr. Johnson told Tavros with a fair smile.

"A-alright…" He replied, uncontrollably stuttering as he wheeled his way out of the office. He wasn't sure what to do with himself. Maybe play one of his handheld devices or look on his phone to see if anybody was on pesterchum. He checked and sighed; nobody online. Reaching into his book-bag he didn't find his PSP either. He must have left it at home. _Darn it _he thought crossly before sighing again and wheeling past the front desk and out into the hallway. Maybe he could use the restroom. That could consume a lot of time.

He returned to the office about ten minutes later. Just in time as well. Mr. Johnson looked up, "hello Tavros. Welcome back."

Tavros offered a small smile, "t-thanks."

"Okay Tavros. Why did you not go to class yesterday?"

Tavros fiddled with his thumbs, "uhh… S-some students wouldn't let me on the elevator."

Mr. Johnson nodded, "can you tell me who they were?"

"Err…" Tavros never really repeated the bullying he was always succumbed to. It would just cause more trouble. When he glanced up Mr. Johnson was looking at him expectedly and very quietly and slowly he said the names of the students. Mr. Johnson wrote them down and nodded.

"Don't worry; they won't bother you anymore." Mr. Johnson said with another smile. "We will be sure to talk to them and make sure they don't mess with you again. Now Tavros, is there anything else you'd like to add?"

When Tavros shook his head no, Mr. Johnson nodded and gave him another smile, "You can go to class now. I'll write you a pass. These people shouldn't bother you anymore; we'll talk to them."

Tavros knew it was a lie. He'd probably get in trouble with them now. He didn't argue, however, he just slowly wheeled himself out of the office and to his next class.

* * *

><p><strong>Regarding the pesterchum conversation I'm not entirely sure if I got Aradia's personality down. I was going for more... Pre-death personality, but a bit of post-death personality...? Hard to explain, borderline both I guess.<strong>

**If I got anything wrong or anything I should improve on let me know!**


	3. Chapter 3

**_At Fault: Chapter 3_**

A few days passed since his meeting with the counselor. All had been well so far; he suspected that group of people got detention because he didn't see them around school or any of the classes he had with them. He was pretty relieved of this. It had been a peaceful set of days, no taunts or glares or anything. Well, some of the other students in the school might call him a freak. It was a habit that harbored from elementary school, but as long as they didn't confront him and physically try and harm him, he just did his best to ignore the jabs.

He used this time to let himself just calm down in general. He was surprised how happy he was- how simpler life had become. His father was working later, so he was seen less. In fact, Tavros hadn't had a single jab pointed at him by his father all week. That, and the fact nobody at school really tried to bother him too much, really took a lot off his chest. The down-side was that neither Nepeta nor Aradia had been on pesterchum lately, which was really a bum because he had nobody to share his happiness with. So he just talked to his lizard and vaguely pretended it replied back.

After school one day he managed to catch Nepeta walking along the street outside school. He had to shout for her to stop so he could catch up with her.

"H-hello Nepeta!" He waved at her a bit nervously.

"Tavros! Good to see you!" She greeted him with a huge hug that made him feel overly flustered.

Equius, who never left Nepeta's side, just nodded at him; his serious face expectedly ever leaving his features as he watched the two past chipped, square shades. Tavros wondered why he even wore them; they made him look so silly!

"How have you been Tavros? We haven't talked in a while now." Nepeta said as she pulled away and fixed him with one of those kitten-cute smiles.

"I-I guess we haven't." He scratched his head in a lightly awkward manner, "I-I'm okay, I guess. Uhhh…" He stammered, "You know those guys that always block off ramps and take my bookbag an' stuff?"

"Yeah! Those people are mean!" She growled, "Too bad Equius can't kick their butts." Nepeta snorted and crossed her arms. She sent a look over her shoulder at the rather violent man.

Tavros crookedly smiled, "A-anyway. I-I think I got them in trouble. They haven't bothered me for a few days now."

"Really? That's great!" The girl looked thrilled again; her eyes lit up and she grabbed roughly grabbed Tavros's hand with her own, "Maybe now they won't be poopy-faces."

"Y-yeah." Tavros agreed quietly, though he was feeling a little uncomfortable from Nepeta clinging to his hand. Plus he didn't like the way Equius was eyeing the contact past his sunglasses, "S-so how have you been?"

"I've been okay. Pretty bored I guess. Not much ever happens… I miss you in classes, though!" She exclaimed, still clinging to his head.

"Y-yeah, I-I have missed you too." Tavros said softly; his meek voice was next to impossible to hear over the sound of nearby teenagers talking amongst themselves.

"I'll try and get on the computer tonight and message you on Pesterchum, alright?" Nepeta said with a grin.

"Y-yeah that would be great." Tavros nodded with agreement, "You haven't been online that often anymore."

"Oops! Sorry! Just my family usually takes the computer before I get the chance." She shrugged, "I'll do my best tonight though. Anyway I 'gotta catch the bus; it's going to leave without me! Bye!"

Equius politely nodded at Tavros before following Nepeta to the buses. Tavros felt suddenly very refreshed. It was a short conversation but it still made him feel much better about everything. Smiling softly he slowly wheeled himself along the sidewalk to where his dad's car was waiting.

"You look awfully happy," his father snorted as he struggled into the car.

"I saw Nepeta today," Tavros told his father, even knowing he wouldn't care.

The ride home was a fast one, and at once Tavros retired to his room and logged onto pesterchum. It looked like Nepeta wasn't on like she said she would be, but Tavros didn't mind. He stalled time by taking a bath (since the house didn't have a handicap-friendly shower) and playing some card games by himself. He kept an ear open for the familiar 'ding' of somebody messaging him on pesterchum. But as hours passed, he heard none. Nobody tried to talk to him that night, not even Aradia. Sighing, he shut off his computer early that night and retired to his bed before it got too late. There wasn't anything to do anyway. He didn't hear his dad call him for dinner either, but that wasn't uncommon. Sometimes his dad just didn't make dinner, and he was okay with that; his father worked hard after all. _Maybe if I could maneuver better around the kitchen I could cook dinner… but no these legs make me worthle—_he stopped his train of thought right there and didn't return.

He woke earlier than usual that morning. His stomach felt uncomfortably hollow but at least he hadn't had any confusing or scary dreams like he sometimes did. After preparing for the day and heading downstairs, he got a bowl of cereal and ate by himself in the everlasting silence of the kitchen. He wondered, vaguely, if those kids were going to return to school today; if they even left in the first place. They might have just stopped picking on him. If they did return, hopefully they would just leave him alone to avoid more trouble with the counselor or school. He'd been so content recently... it would be a bummer to have that ruined. Good thing he had the school to defend him, even though he wished he could defend himself better. He twirled the remaining cereals in his bowl around and around in aimless circles as he thought about this.

"Morning, Tavros." His father muttered, shaking Tavros out of his thoughts.

"M-morning, Dad." Tavros replied.

There was an awkward silence as Tavros waited for his dad to have breakfast. Once he was finished, they left for the morning He made it to school a few minutes later and wheeled his way along the sidewalk to the front door. There were some students standing here and there outside school, but it wasn't very busy. He made his way around the main stairs to the small ramp that ran along the side of the school. When he began rolling up the ramp he glanced up and his blood turned to ice. Leaning on the railing was one of the boys that constantly picked on him, and the one he told the counselor about. A couple of girls and other boys stood around him, talking, and blocking the ramp. Gulping, he slowly wheeled his way up getting ever so closer… There were no other ramps except the one around on the other side of school. He hoped that they wouldn't mess with him since they got in trouble with the school.

Suddenly one of the boys turned and eyed him, the others followed his gaze.

"Well if it isn't Mr. Freak." One of them laughed obnoxiously.

The one leaning against the railing glared at him, "Thanks to you I got suspended AND got my phone taken away for a fucking month."

Tavros didn't directly reply, he just avoided eye contact and prayed they would leave him alone.

Of course that couldn't possibly ever happen. The boy just sneered and walked over to Tavros. One of the girls called out, "Come on Gabe don't be an ass, just leave him alone. It's your own fault for being a dick to him all the time."

"He deserves it! He's a freak! You called him a freak yourself." He snapped back at her.

"Uh, yeah, when I was NINE." She snorted as she did an obnoxious hair flip, "Grow up already."

It appeared only her and her friend were the only ones against it, because the other members of the groups detached themselves from the two girls and surrounded Tavros on all sides. Two of them grabbed the back of his chair, and before he could react he was on the ground and his wheelchair was thrown aside. He could taste the asphalt under his tongue and rocky surface grinding into his bare arms and face.

They were snickering at him now and one decided to kick him in the gut. He could hear the protests of the girls but the one called 'Gabe' didn't listen.

"You like that, freak?" Gabe snorted, kicking him in the arm. "Because of you telling the school on us, I don't have a PHONE. You know, those of us with FRIENDS need phones to talk with each other. How the fuck am I supposed to check my shit in class without it?"

"T-t-they asked-" Tavros tried to begin but was cut off when a foot connected with his jaw.

"Oh? Are you trying to TALK? Why don't you speak the fuck up, I can't quite hear you."

"T-the school as-" again he was cut off from his sentence as a foot got him in the ribs

"I can't HEAR you!"

Tavros let out a chocked gasp as he was kicked again. It seemed Gabe was the only one wailing on him now, the others just sort of stood there. Through a blurry wall of tears he could see a small crowd had gathered. They were looking at each other with some sort of emotion on their face; pity? Guilt? Impassive? _Why aren't of them any helping? _Tavros wondered desperately as he was kicked again, this time in the face. He could feel hot liquid- blood- trickle from his nose.

"God you're such a FREAK. You never talk, even when I'm fucking kicking your face, and you have no fucking legs and whatever else." Gabe spat at him. "I didn't deserve to get my phone taken away and to be grounded for a week- what did I do to you? A few jokes and teased you a few times? We were just joking around for fuck's sake."

_Liar._

"Aw and now the freak is _crying_." He continued onward, his voice raising with anger.

_…I wish I could fly away…_

"Hey, c'mon man that ain't cool."

A new voice rose over the clatter of voices. It was low and a bit slurred, but everybody seemed to fall silent as footsteps got louder.

"Huh? Who the fuck are you?" The teenager directed his attention to the newest arrival.

"Man that doesn't really matter," the voice said, "I just think you should stop motherfuckin' messing with my bro here…"

There was silence. For once Gabe seemed to have nothing to say. Tavros shifted his head and glanced up at whatever was going on but he couldn't really see much, "Whatever man. This is so gay." Gabe finally said. Tavros watched through blurry eyes as most of the group dispersed back to their individual hang-out groups. The ones on the ramp went off in another direction entirely, and he was left alone on the ground.

Or at least he thought until he realized that the newcomer hadn't left yet. Seeing him clearly was impossible, even as he blinked the grime and tears from his eyes. The newcomer bent down next to him, "Hey man, you look motherfucking terrible. Hold your shit, alright? I'll help you, bro."

"I-I… I…" Tavros stammered. He had nothing intelligent to say at the moment; his ribcage and face and head all hurt terribly.

"Hang on, brother." He said. Tavros felt hands on his shoulders and nubby thighs as he was hoisted off the ground. There was shuffling, and he was in his chair once more. "Oh motherfucker… You look motherfuckin' horrible, like you were in a twister or some shit. I think there's a bathroom right inside. I'll fix you up, man."

Tavros's head was spinning as his chair was pushed up the ramp and through the doors of the school. His head still felt blurry, but he let out a few protests. He hated using school bathrooms, more than once he got cornered in one. But they took a detour and instead headed into one of the private bathrooms the teachers used. He locked the door and pushed Tavros in front of the sink.

He was a little taken back at how badly he looked. His hair was normally sleek and tame, perfectly molded into a proper Mohawk shape; now it was ruffled and full of dust. There was grime and blood and dirt all across his face, his nose was bleeding, and there were still some obvious tears drying on the edges of his eyes. His shirt was a little dusty too, but not as in bad condition as his face.

The other teenager, or adult, it was difficult to tell, was grabbing some toilet paper and dabbing it with water. He made a gesture to clean off Tavros's face, but at once Tavros felt taken back.

"I-I-I c-can do it." His stammer was even worse at the moment. Maybe he should just avoid taking.

"No, it's okay, brother. You've been through some motherfuckin' hard times, I don't mind, man." He smiled lazily and began washing to smudges of dirt and blood off Tavros's face.

He remained quiet as he watched this man carefully remove the grime from his face. Who was he, exactly? Tavros had never seen this strange man around school. The long face and nose and the tall, skinny appearance didn't seem familiar. His hair was black, wild, and fairly long for a boy's hair. It came down to his shoulders, perhaps a bit more, and was as wild as clown's hair. His eyes appeared to rather lazy, and they were the same strange, bright yellow color as Tavros's. His jaw was narrow but sleek, and his neck was a bit too long. He seemed to be an all-around handsome fellow. Tavros noticed a card hanging around his neck with an ID on it, suggesting he wasn't a normal student at the school.

"Watcha starin' at, bro?" He suddenly asked and was shaken from his thoughts. The man was studying him curiously now.

"N-n-nothing!" Tavros colored when he realized he'd been staring.

"…Alright then. Motherfuckin' cool." He tossed the tissue paper away and got some more. "Name's Gamzee by the way. How 'bout you, friend?"

"I-I'm T-Tavros."

"T-Tavros?"

"N-no! j-just Tavros."

"Why didn't you say that in the first place then, bro?"

"I-I c-can't. I-I'm stutt-t-ering." Tavros told him. His very recent shaky experience left him trembling and unable to say intelligent sentences. Wasn't his fault.

"Oh man, okay, that might motherfuckin' mess me up though. Well hey there Tavros, my new bro." Gamzee greeted him again with a wide smile. "Boy am I motherfuckin' glad I came in when I did. S'a miracle. Looks like you were in a bad situation my friend."

Tavros nodded as Gamzee wiped the rest of the stuff off his face.

"Man that's motherfuckin' fucked up. Tryin' to wail on a handicapped brother… any brother really. Man just motherfuckin' opposite of a miracle." Gamzee growled faintly, "why would anyone hurt their bros I don't even fuckin' know… well no worries Tavros you're in motherfuckin' safe hands now. I never hurt my bros, ever." He was smiling lazy as he fixed Tavros with a slurred look.

"W-well thank-k you anyway." Tavros murmured.

"Of course," Gamzee replied as he tossed the tissue paper and examined Tavros again. There was a moment of lingering silence as Gamzee's eyes were bright and analyzing. Out of nowhere he said, "You look motherfuckin' adorable without all the motherfuckin' grime and dirt on your face." He commented.

It took a moment for his words to sink in before Tavros's face lit up and his fingers prickled with a flustered unease. "T-t-hank you…!" He said genuinely; how often was he _complemented_? Not very often. He could feel his heart flutter uncontrollably at such a rare comment.

"Anyway bro, I'll take you home if you want. You're in no motherfuckin' condition to be in school today."

"I-I… I don't think t-that'd be a good idea w-with my d-dad…" Tavros said as Gamzee pushed him out of the bathroom. He did his best to ignore the curious stares from people. He wondered if Gamzee seemed to care, but a look up at the wayward man confirmed no.

"Then stay in the motherfuckin' nurses office." Gamzee suggested. "Like I said; no motherfuckin' condition to be working."

"B-but-"

He didn't really get a say in it as he was wheeled into the nurse's office. The nurse took one look at Tavros and told him to go into the next room and lay down. She instantly dialed up his father's phone number while he wheeled into the dimly lit room and struggled into the bed hastily before Gamzee could make a move to help him. He laid down on the uncomfortable cot and curled his nose; it smelled like old plastic, medicine and sick in here.

Gamzee was still chilling against the wall next to him.

Tavros glanced over and watched him for a few moments, "T-thanks, by the way." He finally managed out,

"No need to thank me, brother," Gamzee murmured as his mouth widened in another lazy grin, "It was just a miracle I happened to have been there."

"H-how come you keep calling me brother?" He asked, "We are not related"

"Of course not. We're just like motherfuckin' brothers, see?"

The younger boy blinked rabidly, "…N-no."

"Well I guess not everyone can see the light," Gamzee shrugged, "you'll understand one day. So, motherfucker, how you holdin' up?"

"I… Fine I guess… I d-don't feel well, but that's e-expected right?" Tavros replied.

"Well as long as you aren't shittin' yourself." Gamzee gave him a toothy grin, "Anyway Tavbro-"

"Tavbro?" Tavros asked; that certainly wasn't his name.

"-I gotta go." Gamzee ignored him, "I know you're in good motherfuckin' hands though." He looked over at the nurse who was coming into the room to give him a look-over.

"…Oh. Well t-then that's okay."

"Do you have Pesterchum or some shit?" He asked as he pulled out his phone, "I'll just add you, brother."

"I-I do!" They exchanged chum handles and Gamzee bid his farewell for the time being. Tavros watched him leave, and then shifted his attention to the ceiling. He felt physically like shit, but his emotionally stability was rocketing. Whoever this Gamzee fellow was, he certainly had a certain gift of cheering people up.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter notes: I almost considered making 'Gabe' 'Vriska' instead... Then I decided against it. I wanted to make it some douche-bag guy teenager like the ones at my school. }:C I was a little iffy putting the beat-up part in because I'd like to have a little faith in humanity and assume nobody would beat up somebody with a disability.<em>**

**_...And then just friday morning my friend who is slightly autistic came to me sobbing about people were being mean to him and trying to beat him up... So I guess fuck faith in humanity a million times over._**

**_Next chapter will probably be from Gamzee's POV. (Probably every four chapters actually.)_**

**_Thanks for the reviews, favorites, and alerts! I love getting them. c:{_**


	4. Chapter 4

**_At Fault: Chapter 4_**

Waking up is a pitifully slow process for Gamzee Makara. He loved to sleep; it was probably one of his favorite activities. So. Waking up was one of his least favorite. Wakefulness crept and leaped on him like a kitten, only it wasn't cute and adorable, it was more like a demon. Opening his sleep-crusted eyes very slowly, he stretched out his long, lithe body across his messy, pathetic excuse for a mattress. His muscles rippled and de-knotted as he extended his limbs and arched his back. Goosebumps raised across his skin as he began to realize there was nothing on his bed but him, and his room was very cold since they couldn't waste money away on heat. His blankets had been kicked off and left in a disarrayed pile on the floor sometime in the night, and an aching neck confirmed his pillow was someplace other than his bed as well. How it ended up wherever it was though, Gamzee would never know. He sat up and his head spun for a few moments as he rubbed his slightly aching neck with a quiet groan.

At least it would go away though, so no use dwelling on it. He dragged himself from the crumpled, still-warm sheets and began pacing around his room, still half-asleep, trying to find some clothes for the day. Although he'd prefer spending the entire day in all his naked-glory, that just wouldn't work for society.

_Honk._

"Shit!" He yelped as he darted a pace or two away from where he stepped. A horn lay on the ground, very much forgotten until he stepped on it. His heart was still racing as he kicked it away. He always left horns that honked very comically all around his room. It matched the clown theme.

Across his walls he had pictures of demented, angry, or just fucked up clowns. They all grinned so widely and grotesquely they were demonic looking. Their eyes bulged (if they even had eyes, in a few they were just gaping holes) out of their sockets and were bloodshot, implying several things like lack of sleep, insanity, or being high. Gamzee was hardly bothered by it though; he liked his posters even though it creeped everyone the fuck out. He also had some posters of bands, which were just as equally as strange looking. His room was always lit strangely, either by a black light or lava lamps. He broke his ceiling light long ago and didn't really feel the need to get it fixed. He had a desk, but it was used for mainly keeping shit off the floor, and a place to put his laptop when he wasn't using it. An array of dirty clothes, empty Faygo bottles and cans, and old food containers covered most of the floor, as well as the previously-mentioned horns. He liked the horns, but sometimes they just got in the way.

Finding some clean clothes laying in a basket, he hurried into them; they were just simple skinny jeans with a t-shirt and a hoodie. It looked relatively respectable for his job he supposed. He then grabbed his bag and left his room for the day. As he passed by his dad's room he slowed down just enough to hear if any sounds came from within. He heard nothing inside the room and pushed away the pang of regret in the pit of his stomach. Gamzee wondered if maybe, just maybe, his dad came home sometime in the night. But who was he kidding, his father hadn't come home in a long time now. Shaking his head to push the negative thoughts away he put his normal, content smile on his face and meandered out of the hallway.

The living room he shared with his brother was as messy as his room, except porn magazines and his brother's clothes littered the floor, as well as video games, cords and other random shit Gamzee never looked into. He could hear the echoing snores coming from his brother's room which confirmed his brother was still asleep. This wasn't surprising; his brother always slept in. Sometimes he was still asleep when Gamzee got home in the afternoon.

The kitchen matched the rest of the house. The garbage was overflowing out of the garbage can and trailing across the floor. A pile of dirty dishes sat stereotypically in the sink, probably never destined to be washed, and half the cupboards were open to reveal little to no food. They never had much on hand. In fact, they lived off a diet of Faygo, pudding and ramen. Sometimes pie if Gamzee got the ingredients, because fuck he could make killer pies. Just thinking about it made him drool a little.

But alas, no pie, no ingredients, so he settled with a can of Faygo and a pudding cup. There was no recognizable table under the pile of crap on top of it, so Gamzee just sat back in one of the chairs and leaned back against the dinged up wall to shove a spoon-full of pudding into his mouth, followed by a huge gulp of Faygo.

"Fuck that hits the spot," he murmured to particularly no one. He quickly finished his pathetic excuse for breakfast before heading out the door in an unhurried pace. He woke early enough to not have to rush, because man, he hated rushing.

He took his sweet time getting to school; he even considered grabbing a corndog from a gas station or something; there was still a long while before he actually had to do anything. He decided against it at the last minute and continued onward to the high school where he had a job. He was a student teacher, and although being a highschool teacher wasn't an ideal job at all in his mind, he came to the conclusion he should take what he could at the moment. Go with the flow and don't stress. Smiling at his own little personal revolution he drove into the school's parking lot and bluntly ignored the stares he got from some loitering students nearby. Grabbing his bag, ID tag and phone from the seat next to him, he left the warmth of his truck and made his way at an unreasonably slow pace to the school's front entrance. Granted his legs kept telling him to pick up the pace and after a few slow strides he obeyed them. His legs never failed him before; why should they now?

As he neared the entrance of school, something quite obvious caught his eye; it was a group of people huddled around the handicap ramp. They were glancing at each other and barely noticed his arrival as he squeezed through the throng of people for a closer look at whatever was happening beyond the wall of people. Somebody was shouting and glaring at the ground furiously while spitting insults and kicking at the ground again.

"...aw and now the freak is going to start CRYING." Gamzee managed to hear a bit of what the boy was saying, and narrowed his eyes. Sounds like he was beating up on somebody, which wasn't wicked at all.

"Hey, c'mon man that ain't cool." You speak much louder than normal. The crowd, which was already pretty quiet, silences completely. They send you looks and part a bit as you saunter through.

The boy glanced up, darkly glaring at him in a fit of frustration, "Huh? Who the fuck are you?"

Gamzee shrugged, he didn't feel the need to answer. "That doesn't really matter." He paused, glancing down at the person on the ground. He was smeared with blood and dust, and Gamzee had to hold back punching this guy in the face until he didn't have one—

Cutting himself off from a darker train of thought he continued to address the person, "I just think you should stop motherfucking messing with my bro here…" He gestured down to the person on the ground and then narrowed his eyes dangerously.

The boy pursed his lips and watched Gamzee for a few moments as if to size him up. Finally he said, "Whatever man. This is so gay." He finally said as he jumped over the side of the ramp railing and left. The people around dispersed and went their separate ways. The kid thought still lay on the ground, forgotten. Gamzee got a little angry again but brushed it off easily; there's no point in dwelling negatively on things you can't fix.

He stepped closer and bent down, "Hey man, you look motherfucking terrible. Hold your shit, alright? I'll help you, bro." He was about to help the kid back on his feet, but he realized he was stepping on something. The kid's leg. But… No just a pant-leg—wait. He narrowed his eyes to make sure this wasn't just some high hallucination (because he tended to have a lot of this). This kid didn't have legs. Just empty pant legs.

"I..I.." The kid tried to say, but his voice was tight with pain.

"Hang on, brother." He felt a wave of pity before glancing around for a wheelchair. He found one, forgotten and abandoned, a few feet away. He quickly grabbed the device, set it up right, and carefully grabbed the kid. His legs are just nubs that barely went halfway to where his knees would have been. Moving quickly and carefully he put a hand other what thigh he did have and another under his shoulder. He pulled him up into the wheelchair. Leaning back Gamzee studied him; the kid he realized isn't too much of a kid. He's probably a few years younger than Gamzee, who was only 21. He slumped lazily in the wheelchair, blinking several times and looking like he had a bit of difficulty opening his eyes.

"Oh motherfucker… You look motherfucking horrible, like you were in a twister of some shit." He bit his lip and thought for a moment, "I think there's a bathroom just inside the school. I'll fix you up, man."

He picked up his bag which he never realized slumped off his shoulder and picked up the kid's book-bag too, which was also thrown in another random direction. He tied it too the wheelchair before gently pushing him into the school. This wasn't the first time in the school, so he knew exactly where to go. For the sake of the kid's safety and less likely to be questioned by an authority figure, he goes into one of the private bathrooms that teachers only used. He wheeled the kid up to the mirror.

He honestly couldn't leave the kid like this; his face was coated with dirt and some smeared blood. It's not a lot, but his face was unrecognizable. He did, however, recognize the look of shock that passed through his face as he gazed at himself in the mirror.

While he gawked at himself, Gamzee grabbed a few tissues and began dabbing it with water. Before he could touch the kid's face, however, he gave an anxious look.

"I-I-I c-can do that." He stammer was a little off-putting.

"No, it's okay, brother. You've been through some motherfuckin' hard times, I don't mind, man." He gave him a reassuring smile. He really didn't mind helping this person; he obviously needed help nobody else was offering, which frankly sickened Gamzee to his stomach. He didn't know this specific person, but he seemed nice enough off the bat.

As Gamzee ran the damp tissue across his cheeks and nose, he felt increased prickling of unease along the back of his neck. He realized those wide yellow eyes were staring at him intently. Cocking an eyebrow he drew a hand back, "watcha starin' at, bro?"

"N-n-nothing!" He stammered in reply. Gamzee swore he noticed a light blush, but it was fleeting.

"….Alright then. Motherfuckin' cool." He tossed the tissue paper away and got some more. As he returned to cleaning the kid's face, he realized he never introduced himself. "Name's Gamzee by the way. How 'bout you, friend?"

"I-I'm T-tavros." He replied.

Gamzee stopped his movements and raised his eyebrows, "T-tavros?" he wondered if it was a stammering thing or if that was his name.

"N-no! j-just Tavros."

Chuckling he said, "Why didn't you say that in the first place then, bro?"

"I-I c-can't help it. I-I'm stutt-tering." Tavros told him.

"Oh man, okay, that might motherfuckin' mess me up though. Well there, Tavros, my new bro." Gamzee gave him a wide, lazy smile. "Boy I am motherfuckin' glad I came in when I did. S'a miracle. Looks like you were in a bad situation my friend."

Tavros nodded and Gamzee continued, "Man that's motherfuckin' fucked up. Tryin' to wail on a handicapped brother… any brother really. Man just motherfuckin' the opposite of a miracle." He felt his blood boil, "why would anybody hurt their bros I can't even fucking know… well no worries Tavros you're in motherfuckin' safe hands now. I never hurt my bros, ever."

Tavros smiled a little bit. "W-well thank-k you anyway."

"Of course." He halted though as he cleaned up the last bit of grime off Tavros's face. That smile… That smile was motherfucking adorable. No, this whole kid was motherfucking adorable. Despite being in highschool, he had some kid-like features. His face was a bit rounded and soft on the edges. His eyes were wide and stared up with this sort of… pained innocence. As if he was supposed to be innocent but somehow unwillingly became tainted by something. His hair was a black mess of a Mohawk. His skin was a bit of a tanned, slightly darker color, and his ears stuck out a little despite being a bit small, but that only gave his face more personality. The only thing that didn't look kid-like and soft was a small stubble beard that was barely noticeable on his chin. It was hardly even visible, but it was there. His nose was soft and rounded like his face, and his lips were carefully flexed upwards in a modest smile, which was one of the most motherfucking precious smiles he ever had seen. Without hardly even thinking he just said, "You look motherfuckin' adorable without all that grime and dirt on your face."

The look on Tavros's face was priceless. It lit up a bright shade of red that looked pleasant against his darkish-tanned skin. It only made him look even more motherfucking cute that _Gamzee couldn't even motherfucking stand it._

But now that Tavros looked a little… uncomfortable, he decided to say "Anyway bro, I'll take you home if you want. You're in no motherfuckin' condition to be in school today."

He played with the hem of his shirt with a hand nervously, "I-I… don't think t-that'd be a good idea w-with my d-dad…" he murmured as Gamzee took grip of his wheelchair again and wheeled him from the small room.

_Why wouldn't his dad allow it…? Maybe it's some over-protection thing. _He thought to himself as he changed directions to head to the nurse's office. "Then stay in the motherfuckin' nurse's office. Like I said; no motherfuckin' condition to be working."

"B-but…" Tavros started, but then his voice faltered. Gamzee wasn't about to let him deal with school right now, this poor kid was motherfucking _beat up _for what he didn't know, but Tavros certainly seemed like an innocent person. At least he could assume that by his nervous, meekly demeanor.

Inside the nurse's office he was directed into the next room where two very uncomfortable cots stood. Tavros climbed onto one awkwardly and laid down. Gamzee watched him with a curious face. He seemed like a pretty strong person physically. He didn't ask for help, if anything, he refused it. He shifted a bit and leaned against the wall lazily and swung on foot over the other. He can't stay there for long; he had a class to get to soon and help teach it. But he knew he couldn't leave this kid until he knew he was in good hands or at least safe.

"T-thanks, by the way,"

"No need to thank me, brother."

The two of them chitchatted for a few moments back and forth. Gamzee found that Tavros's voice faltered a lot, and while it still held all the qualities of an older teenager's voice, there was something soothing and milky about it. God, Gamzee could have listened to this kid stutter forever. Before leaving, however, he got Tavros's pesterchum so they could talk in the future. Hopefully the near future too. Waving him goodbye he made his way out of the nurse's office with his normal lethargic attitude and lazy smile across his face. He was glad Tavros was alright despite being beaten up so bad. It was probably normal for him. Gamzee didn't like this thought, though. Somebody actually having the nerves to beat somebody up… anybody up… It was ridiculous and just place again Gamzee's personal morals.

He just hoped the kid would remain okay and that the motherfuckers who did it to him will be punished one way or another.

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><p><em><strong>Boring ass recap of last chapter only from Gamzee's POV.<br>**_

_**Updates will be slightly less frequent. I usually write the skeleton of the fic in class (I have up to chapter 9 done) it's just digitalizing them that's the bitch; Tumblr is so very distracting, as well as homework and all that junk. But I'll still try to make fast updates.**_

_**Thanks for the reviews, favs and alerts. I always love seeing them. C:{**_

_**And yes, Gamzee's and Tavros's age gap is 4 years. Sorry if anybody might have a problem with that. I don't, and my editor (whom I asked her opinion) doesn't. So.  
><strong>_


	5. Chapter 5

**_Nepeta's typing thing arrow after the :33 doesn't show up on this weird-ass site. Just a warning. It will look retarded._**

**_**_Also, thanks for all the reviews, alerts and favorites. Very appreciated guys! }:D I love hearing critiques that will help me improve! c:{_**_**

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><p><strong><em>At Fault: Chapter 5<em>**

Stretch Tavros was staring at his phone and nibbling on his bottom lip, wondering if he should add Gamzee on pesterchum. He'd been having a stare-down with this phone for the last hour at least, wondering if he should take the username he written down in his phone's notepad. What if Gamzee was busy? What if he wasn't serious about wanting to talk to Tavros? What if he thought Tavros was boring? Or annoying? He shifted uncomfortably in his chair as he set his phone down next to his keyboard and stared at his computer screen. The option for 'add chum' had been open since he got home hours ago. He read the pixilated letters which spelled _'terminallyCapricious'._ Strange name, but then, most chumhandle names were.

He twiddled his thumbs together nervously for a moment before setting his fingers on the keyboard and started to write out the username.

**terminallyCap-**

His fingers halted and he didn't want to continue. His fears still swam around in his head. He didn't want to make another enemy somehow, especially if this enemy could scare the enemies he had now! Gamzee would probably think he was boring- or not worth the time, so what's the point? People tended to get annoyed with him, or just generally disliked him for an array of reasons. most of the time it was because of his lack of legs. Strange reason to hate somebody but humans were strange creatures sometimes. Nibbling his lip yet again he deleted what he wrote and ex'd out of the box. He shifted away from the desk and wheeled himself out into the hallway and to the stairs. A few minutes later he was in the kitchen preparing a snack for himself. His father gave him a surprised and rather suspicious look. Probably wondering why he was out of his room at this time of day. His body was still very soar, but every time his father made to move to ask him anything he edged away and left the room. He knew his father wouldn't worry about him, or care really, but he didn't want to tell him what happened at school. He didn't tell anybody at school what happened to him, because if he did those boys might come back again and beat him up worse. Finally, he broke down and told them right before his father picked him up. Tavros didn't even give them time to tell his father anything.

Eventually his father left for work again and he was alone in the house.

He had been mostly stalling all day anyway. He spent a little while downstairs eating his meal, watching TV and chilling in the backyard and feeding birds. People thought his habit of feeding birds was strange, but he had a fascination with animals. He watched the birds peck at the seeds and tweet at each other in annoyance or just to talk. A few began fighting over a seed, so he tossed out more and they were at peace again. He continued doing mostly tedious stuff that couldn't compare to the adventures of his computer games. His fingers were itching to tap on a keyboard and his eyes were feeling… strange; maybe not as sore as usual. It wasn't natural for him, and finally, he ended up back in his room.

When he settled in front of the computer he realized he had forgotten to log out. He had a pesterchat open. Maybe it was Aradia or Nepeta… but on closer inspection that wasn't their typing style. Uppercases and lowercases interlocked in an interchanging manner, which was a little difficult to read but Tavros read it nonetheless only to realize it was Gamzee. Gulping, he moved his fingers to the keyboard.

**-termiallyCapricious [TC] began pestering adiosToreador [AT]-**

TC: sUp BrOtHeR.

TC: yOu ThErE?

TC: mAyBe A MoThErFuCkEr'S BuSy…?

TC: iT's AlL CoOl BrO I'lL tAlK To YoU lAtEr

AT: uHHH, hELLO, gAMZEE,,,

TC: hEeEeEy. HoW'rE yOu DoIn' BrO?

AT: fINE, sORRY i WAS, uHHH, lATE GETTING BACK, tO YOU,

AT: i WASN'T TRYING TO,

AT: aVOID YOU OR ANYTHING,,,

TC: iT's FiNe :o). I wAs WoRrIeD tHeRe FoR a MiNuTe

AT: ,,,,wORRIED?

TC: oF CoUrSe LiL' bRo. WhAt'S a MoThErFuCkEr tO Do If HiS BroThErS ArE HuRt AnD sHiT?

AT: uHHH, i DO NOT KNOW,

TC: eXaCt OpPoSiTe Of A MiRaClE mAn.

TC: dId ThEy BoThEr YoU AgAiN?

AT: ,,,,wHAT

TC: tHe MoThErFuCkErS FrOm ThIs MoRnIng.

TC: yOu DiDn'T fOrGeT DiD yOu?

AT: nO, i WAS JUST WONDERING, uHH, nO THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING ELSE,

TC: wElL ThAt'S AlL GoOd ThEn. hOw PeOpLe CaN hUrT a BrOtHeR dIsApOiNtS me. nOt CoOl ShIt At AlL.

TC: AnYwAy, tHaT's SoMe MoThErFuCkIn' WiCkEd ShIt ThEn. :o) gLaD yOu WeReN'T mEsSeD WiTh AgAin.

TC: hOw ArE YoU mOtHeRfUcKiN FeElInG nOw LiL bRo?

AT: ,,,oKAY, }:)

AT: a BIT SORE BUT NO BIG DEAL,

AT: nO NEED TO WORRY AGAIN,

AT: bECAUSE i AM FINE,

TC: wHaTeVEr YoU SaY LiTtLe DuDe. :o)

A silence fell between them. Tavros watched the chat for several minutes wondering if he should reply. He probably put Gamzee to sleep with all his boring talking.

AT: sO UHHH,,,

TC: yEaH bRo?

AT: aRE YOU A STUDENT AT THE SCHOOL?

TC: oH nO mAn No, I aM a StuDeNt TeAcHeR ThErE As Of ThE nEw SemEsTer.

AT: rEALLY?

TC: yEah. MoThErFuCkInG mIrAcLe I wAs ThErE.

AT: uMM, yES IT WAS, i DO NOT KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED,

AT: iF YOU HAD NOT ARRIVED,

AT: pROBABLY SOMETHING UNFORTUNATE,

TC: ThE mOtHeRfUcKiNg ExAcT OpPoSiTe Of A MiRaClE.

TC: tHaT's MoThErFuCkIn' WhAt.

AT: hAHAHA, pROBABLY

AT: aND i DON'T MEAN FUNNY SORT OF HAHAHA,

AT: i MEAN LIKE,

AT: lIKE,,, a NERVOUS LAUGH,

AT: nOT FUNNY,

AT: bECAUSE THERE WAS, nO JOKE,

AT: tHEREFORE HAHAHA WOULD HAVE BEEN INAPPROPRIATE,

Tavros pulled his fingers away from the keyboard. What the hell was he even talking about anymore? Oh God, Gamzee had stopped replying. Tavros chewed on his lip once again; it was already feeling sore from all his chewing lately. Why was he acting like such… such a _freak?_ Gamzee was probably judging him right now. With his silly typing; what was he even talking about anymore? Just nervous ramblings. He was startled when the sound of Gamzee messaging him binged.

TC: i UnDeRsTaNd, BrOthEr, No NeeD tO MoThErFuCkInG FlIp OuT aLrIgHt? :o)

TC: gOtTa KeEp MoThErFuCkIn' ChIlL MaN.

AT: rIGHT, sORRY. }:(

TC: hEy dOn'T gIvE mE tHaT mOtHeRfUckIn' FrOwNy ShIt. ItS AlL HaPpY MiRaClEs Up In HeRe.

AT: uHHH, oKAY, sORRY,

AT: }:)

TC: iT's AlL GoOd LiL' bRo No NeEd To MoThErFuCkIn' ApOlOgIzE.

TC: jUsT wAnNa MaKe SuRe A bRoThEr Is HaPpY. :o)

AT:,,,tHANKS,

AT: sO, uHHH,,, hOW ARE YOU?

TC: i Am MoThErFuCkIn' AmAzInG rIgHt NoW. jUsT mOtHeRfUcKiN' cHiLlInG lIkE a MoThErFuCkEr'S GoT FoReVeR tO LiVe aNd ThAt ShIt.

TC: oH, bUt HeY I hAvE To GrAb SoMe MoThErFuCkIn' GruB.

TC: mOtHeRfUcKeR's GoTtA EaT :o)

AT: oHH, uH, oKAY

TC: cAtCh YoU LatEr, bRo! :o) hOnk.

AT: sEE YOU,

**-termiallyCapricious [TC] ceased pestering adiosToreador [AT]- **

Sighing, Tavros ex'd out of the conversation with a shaky sigh. Talking to new people never settled well with him. It always made his stomach to the strangest flips until he felt like wheeling his way to the bathroom and puking up the contents of the last week. He wasn't, by any means, an appealing person to any other decent human being. Years of being socially removed by his classmates did that to him; he was surprised he managed to keep his cool with Gamzee. Then again, he talked to him pretty calmly earlier today; and that was face to face with the man! Maybe it was just Gamzee's atmosphere; he was a bit lazy and sluggish but his smile was surprisingly calming, and he didn't treat Tavros any differently than anybody else. He was a little… off, maybe, by society's standards. If only a little, but Tavros didn't see anything wrong with that.

He flexed his fingers and decided it was time to feed his lizard. As he watched the small lizard dart about his cage and nip at crickets he sighed heavily, "I-I just I hope I don't bore him; y'know?" He murmured to his lizard as it watched him with glassy eyes, "I d-don't even know how Nepeta and Aradia deal with me…" He really didn't. Nepeta always fused over his lack of self-esteem even though he tried not to let his obvious lack of respect for himself show too much. Even though Nepeta could never shut her mouth and usually hopped around the place as if she was on- dare he say 'catnip'- she could usually tell right out if he was upset. It was sort of creepy, really, but he appreciated it nonetheless. Aradia wasn't far off; even though they had never talked face-to-face she still knew exactly what was going on in his head. Strange, but was thankful for it as well. He wondered if Gamzee would be as sharp as they were about noticing his emotions.

He broke off his train of thought when he heard his father calling him. Curious, he gave his lizard a bit more of food (for a treat) gave it a smile and rolled out of the room. He was in the kitchen a few minutes later. His father sat at the table, a plate and a large aluminum tray sitting in front of him. He brought his eyes up to watch Tavros carefully wheel up to the table. "Yeah, Dad?"

"…I have dinner here. Grab yourself a plate and get some. Work had a potluck so there were plenty of leftovers." He explained.

Tavros nodded eagerly; he was feeling very hungry. His father didn't make dinner much, or bring anything home. It was usually foraging each night. He grabbed a plate and spoon and dug in, "It has no meat right?" Tavros asked as he nibbled at the now-cold bit of food. He wasn't a fan of eating meat, and only ate it when he had to.

"Just vegetables and rice." His father replied testily, "Anyway, Tavros. Are you going to tell me how you got that bruise and black-eye? You were rather adamant about not telling me earlier. Did you piss somebody off that much?"

Tavros shifted clumsily and rather awkwardly in his wheelchair. The question brought undesirable memories back to his head from earlier that day. His father is still watching him when he finally speaks up, "some people were blocking the ramp…"

His father continued to chew very noisily. The clanging of plates at the disgusting sound of his loud breathing and chewing were the only thing heard in the spacious room until he finally spoke up, "You do know you have nobody to blame but yourself."

"…I-I know…"

Another bite. "Sometimes I wonder if you do, Tavros. What happened to the innocent boy that your mother and I raised?"

_He's still here…_ Tavros whispered in his mind, but he just shrugged instead.

"You can't even blame them, Tavros." He went on conversationally.

"Yeah… I-I suppose I can't."

"Nice to know you're finally seeing the light as some people call it." His father said; his voice maybe… perhaps… slightly prideful. "You need to take responsibility for your actions. All of them."

There was a deeper message in that last sentence and Tavros flinched away a bit, "I-I realize that."

There was no reply, just more noisy chewing.

"…H-how was your day?" Tavros offered politely as he poked at his dinner with a fork.

"Oh you know, after I was rudely called from work to pick you up from school, I had to go back to work. I had a shitload of work to catch up on, but you know; what are you going to do?" His father's voice was just tripping with attitude. "I'm lucky there was a potluck or I would have been home late tonight and without dinner."

After a few more moments of that gaze Tavros murmured meekly, "T-thank you."

"Good to know you have _some_ manners. Wouldn't want your mothers lessons go to waste." He said as he took another bite, "Do you remember your mother Tavros? So kind… So gentle… You have her smile and eyes. I wish you didn't." He went on even when Tavros was looking pretty miserable with himself, "Every time I look at you I remember her. And then I remember how she was murd-"

He cut off when Tavros wheeled away from the table, "What is it, Tavros?" He sounded surprised.

"I-I don't feel well… I'm going to my room." Tavros told him with a compliant manner, avoiding meeting his eye-gaze at all cost, "I'll finish my dinner for breakfast." As fast as a paraplegic could be, he put the plate with his barely touched rice and vegetables and hurried upstairs, to his room, and closed the door as gentle as possible despite trembling hands. He instantly went to the sanctuary of his computer and logged in.

Looking at Pesterchum he noticed Nepeta was online. Without hesitation he began messaging her.

**-adiosToreador [AT] began pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]—**

AT: hELLO nEPETA

AT: aRE YOU THERE,

AC: :33 *ac jumps up and down in excitement*

AC: :33 *ac tackles at to the ground and clings to him*

AC: :33 *hello! she says*

AT: hELLO,,,

AC: :33 *ac tips her head a little you okay?*

AT: sORRY i DON'T FEEL UP FOR ROLEPLAYING RIGHT NOW…

AC: :33 aww why?

AT: i DON'T KNOW.

AT: i KINDA JUST WANT TO GO TO BED….. bUT THEN I SAW YOU, wERE ON.

AC: :33 bad time tavros! my brother keeps telling me to get off. hes so impatient!

AT: bUT YOU JUST GOT ON,,,

AC: :33 i have been online for a little while now! i am really sorry I can't be on now

AC: :33 are you ok?

AT: i GUESS,,, i MEAN i GUESS IT DOESNT,

AT: mATTER,

AC: :33 tell me what's bothering you tomorrow okay

AC: :33 i will be sure to bug you about it teehee!

AT:,,,,,oKAY

AC: :33 i really wish i can stay on! 3:

AT: iT IS OKAY, i DO NOT WANT YOU IN TROUBLE

AC: :33 i will talk to you tomorrow okay

AT: oKAY,,,,,

AC: :33 bye! *ac hugs him again and then poofs offline!*

**- arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased pestering adiosToreador [AT]—**

AT:,,,,bYE


	6. Chapter 6

**_I could barely properly edit this chapter because I was hyperventilating over the fact I'm getting a Hero of Breath hoodie. It'll be here next week and then I will LIVE IN IT._**

**_Pffff... I don't really have any important notes I guess._**

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><p><strong><em>At Fault: Chapter 6<em>**

A few days after his incident with the bullies, he looked in the mirror one morning to inspect his physical condition. Black, blue, and sickly green spots blotched his ribcage and torso. He gently ran his hand along a few of the marks and flinched instinctively at the flashes of pain when he pressed a bit too hard. It looked almost artistic in a twisted, painful way. His lip was also still split, but it wasn't entirely too bad, and although Tavros felt sore he was generally okay for the most part. He dared to crack and small smile at his reflection to ward off any negative feelings. It worked too, because he felt a little better about the day now.

He was at school a half an hour later. The long four-day weekend had left everybody in school look like a hoard of zombies. They walked slowly and actively appeared to be scarcer. Tavros didn't mind; he was quite content for a few reasons. One, the sudden transition form a long-weekend to the daily grind of school wasn't an extreme one. He never went to bed too late and never did anything at night that would result in bad things. That was the polar opposite for his classmates though. They went out at night, partied, got high and drunk and laid and woke up in some classmate's or stranger's room with a hangover and head swimming with regrets. Another reason was because nobody came to bother him yet. He heard that Gabe and his friends were suspended again and this time for far longer.

As a new semester, some of his classes were switched in incredibly awkward ways. He was rather disappointed when one class was the entire distance of the school away from another class. Another class had been switched right across the hall from the other as well. But the best part was that all his classes were on the bottom floor therefore no more having elevators blocked off. Wow this day was turning out to be a good one.

As lunch rolled around he was pleasantly surprised as he passed by the cafeteria.

"Tavros!" He barely heard her over the sound of the cafeteria noise before she wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

"Nepeta!" He said with a startled voice but huge smile. He awkwardly returned the hug. "I-I wasn't aware you had this lunch."

"I just got it this new semester because I got classes switched. I have Graphic Arts now!" She almost shouted in his ear, "Too bad Equius doesn't have this lunch though…" For a moment her voice faltered a teensy bit, "He'll be upset."

Tavros tried to imagine the strong man who usually displayed little emotion except his arrogant need to display how much better he was than most other people actually being upset over something. Anytime Nepeta described him though, he sounded rather emotional and got frustrated over many things. Tavros just couldn't see it though. "H-he's strong. He'll get over it."

"I guess," she shrugged but didn't appear to be very convinced.

The two slipped up to the serving counter and winced in union as 'food' was dropped on Nepeta's tray. She gave a sickened scowl but continued down the line to the cashier. "Aren't you eating?" She asked as he wheeled alongside her and not making any move to pick up any 'food'.

"I-I don't have money for lunch. I-I usually go to the library at lunch," he told her quietly.

Nepeta raised her eyebrows in shock, "What? No lunch?" She almost gaped, "That's impossible! How do you not eat?"

"Well… L-like I said I uh, have no… money…" Tavros went on, avoiding her gaze.

"No wonder you're skin and bones!" The girl huffed as she scrunched her face up angrily. It was true. The only real bulk he had came from wheeling himself around in his chair. His arms were fairly strong, but you could see all his ribs jutting out of his body and his stomach was sunk in a little bit. He didn't eat much, but that never really thought about it. He knew his father was too busy to make dinner or lunch like he did when Tavros was still little, and he used all his money on paying the bills or things for himself…

The little money he did have was sent by his grandmother. His grandmother was one of those family members that never hated him for something he couldn't control. So in secret, behind his grandpa's back, she would send him a little money every once and awhile. It wasn't normally used on food though.

"It's no big deal, really," he said with a shrug. It was the truth too; he didn't mind not eating lunch. He had never been much of a glutinous person.

"That isn't right." She huffed as she passed him an apple she had grabbed from the salad bar earlier. "Here you go, eat something at least. I'm not letting my friend starve."

He smiled as he took the apple and held it as carefully as if it were a baby kitten. "T-thanks, but you don't have to give it to me."

"Nonsense! Keep it." She told him stubbornly.

Setting it aside for later, he sat back in his wheelchair in a relaxed manner. "Well alright… S-so how have you been?"

"P-urrrrr-fect!" She hummed, "sorry I haven't been on the computer. Busy, busy me. If you're lonely I can have Equius talk to you!"

Tavros shifted uncomfortably. He didn't like being alone around Equius a lot of the time. The man usually towered over him and fixed him with a look that could burn through his soul, even with those cracked sunglasses on. Equius was alright he guessed, but he was still very intimidating. The way he stood high over everybody and sweated buckets all the time. His straight, black hair was always greasy and flowed down his huge, bulky shoulders and face. His cracked sunglasses (that he kept on even in the winter months) kept his emotions almost unrecognizable. His mouth was always twisted in a serious frown, and he hung around Nepeta so close it was creepy. Equius was usually quietly polite, if not a little snobby, he sort of treated him or referred to him as 'less than human' because of his condition with his legs. Tavros didn't like this, but Equius never tried to deliberately hurt him. So despite his demeanor, Tavros didn't really mind him. He just wasn't the type Tavros would ever want to strike a conversation with on a regular basis...

"T-that's okay," Tavros shrugged, "I've been talking to someone lately, anyway…"

Maybe that wasn't a smart thing to say. Nepeta's keen, bright green eyes suddenly lit up and she seemed at full attention now, "Who? Is it someone I know? Is it Vriska again? That Aradia person? Or...?"

"Someone you don't know…" He trailed off, his tone a little awkward.

"Who is it? It's not every day you meet a friend, Tavros. I know that." Nepeta still sounded incredibly excited. "I want to know who your new little friend is and be proud!"

He cracked a small smile before replying. "It's… someone that's a student teacher here at the school..." He murmured, "His name's Gamzee."

She cocked her brows curiously, "Never heard of him. Spill the details! I want to _knowwwwww_!" Her voice turned into a whine.

"There isn't much to t-tell… He's a bit older than me, obviously. He's really... 'chill' and calming... and he… uh…" He he trailed off. He didn't want Nepeta to worry about him being beaten up again. He had avoided telling her up until now, which wasn't hard he guessed since this was the first time seeing her in a few days. He didn't want to worry her, she always worried about him anyway. He didn't need to give her more reasons to fret over his problems and whatnot.

"He what?" She pressed, leaning forward and watching him as intently as ever.

"He... Errrr..." He shifted in his chair again. The way Nepeta was practically staring into his soul with such obvious intent

"C'mon Tavros, why are you being so hesitant to tell me?" she huffed, "if you don't, I'll start guessing," she threatened and then smirked as she rested her chin on the table. "Did he do something bad to you?"

"No."

"Forced you to talk to him?"

"No"

"Hrmm…" She appeared to be in thought, and right when Tavros assumed she would stop guessing she piped up suddenly, "kissed you?"

His face lit up a violent shade of red, "NO! T-that would be, uh, inappropriate!"

Nepeta almost leaped out of her chair, "so he _did_! You face is red! Your voice trembled!" Nepeta squealed, "Tavros got a boyfriend!~ Tavros gotta boyfrienddddd!~" She sang loudly while having a giggling fit. "That's so cuteeeee, I'll need to write this down in my shipping journal. And then I need to find out who this Gamzee person is and- ahhhh~ Tavrosss why didn't you tell me?~"

"H-h-he didn't!" Tavros pushed the image of that out of his head as he tried to shout at her, "I-I-I swear...!" Tavros struggled out. "H-he did nothing of the sort." She wasn't really listening though, she was too busy ripping a small little booklet out of her backpack, followed by one of her sparkly green pens. "Just… o-okay I'll tell you."

Her eyes snapped back at him,"Yay." She sat back in her chair and watched him. He noted the booklet never left her hands though.

With a slightly trembling voice he explained how he was beaten up when he went to school to few, and he was surprised that Nepeta didn't intervene. Her eyes narrowed dangerously though as she listened and poked her fork at the 'food' on her plate. She jabbed at the mush violently as he recalled the kicks in his gut. He went on until when Gamzee came in and helped him out.

Nepeta glared daggers, "You were beat up again?" She completely ignored the fact Gamzee was involved, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"….I-it's not important."

Her deep green eyes lit up with fury, "Bullshit!" Whoa. Nepeta wasn't a curser by any means, so hearing her curse now was kind of intimidating.

"I-it's not all bad! Like I said… Gamzee helped me out. It's not the first time I've been beaten up. Y-you know that." He'd been beaten up and teased many times in the past. She was always there to keep his tears at bay with comforting words. Once she had Equius go and beat one of them up. It was probably one of the best moments in Tavros's life, even though he felt a little guilty because Equius early got suspended for a week because of it.

Nepeta crossed her arms and grunted. "I still wish you would have told me." She chewed on the inside of her mouth crossly and glared at the wall as if she were looking into the faces of the people who had hurt Tavros in the first place.

"…S-sorry."

"It's… okay… I _guess_." Nepeta growled at him, only shifting her eyes but keeping her body turned away. "So this Gamzee fellow helped you huh? That's very nice of him. More people need to be nice like that."

Tavros shrugged, feeling a little flustered. "I-I was glad he was there."

"You should be!" Her anger seemed to fade like mist in the morning sun as she turned back around and almost purred, "Thank him for me, okay?"

"I-I will." Tavros said with a smile.

Lunchtime progressed very sluggishly, but Tavros wasn't about to complain. It was very relaxing talking face-to-face with Nepeta like in the earlier years of their friendship. These days they rarely talked, maybe once or twice a week. He wasn't very used to face-to-face communication, if any at all. He appreciated her company immensely, and he'd forgotten all about where he was and how much he disliked it. When lunch was over, he said goodbye to his best friend and left the cafeteria with a soft smile on his lips.

**- adiosToreador [AT]- began pestering termiallyCapricious [TC]-**

AT: hEY,

AT: aRE YOU THERE?

AT: ,,,,oKAY,,,, sORRY, uHHH, fOR BOTHERING YOU,

AT: my FRIEND JUST DAYS, uHHH, tHANK YOU,

AT: fOR HELPING ME LAST WEEK,

AT: sHE TOLD ME TO TELL YOU THAT,

AT: cAUSE I TOLD HER YOU HELPED ME OUT AND STUFF,

AT: wELL NOT STUFF JUST THAT,

AT: aNWAY YEAH SHE SAYS THANKS,

AT: i'LL STOP MESSAGING YOU NOW,

AT: bECAUSE YOU AREN'T ONLINE,

AT: i GUESS,

AT: oKAY,

AT: bYE,

AT: i WILL TALK TO YOU, lATER,

AT: uNLESS YOU DON'T WAN'T ME TO,

AT: i HOPE I'M NOT ANNOYING YOU NOW,,,

AT: sORRY

AT: uHH,,

AT: bYE,

**- adiosToreador [AT]- ceased pestering termiallyCapricious [TC]-**

Wow, that was smooth, Tavros. That certainly wouldn't annoy anyone. With a sigh, he minimized pesterchum and opened up past pesterlogs to read what he just sent. Even to him they sounded ramble-y and silly and downright annoying. He felt a little ashamed and wished he could take back all the unnecessary messages., _He'll probably see that and think I'm a frea—_he cut off his thoughts and opened up FLARP to dive into the world of virtual gaming.

He probably woke up around midnight, stretched out half naked his carpeted floor, an empty bottle of faygo in his hand and his head using an old pizza box as a pillow. His eyes blinked open, still a little heavy feeling from the slur of sleeping. Rubbing a bit of drool off the side of his mouth with the back of his free hand, he casually tossed the bottle to some random place in his room to joint he other piles of shit and yawned widely. He licked his chops in a lazy almost dog-like manner as he stood and rubbed his neck with a small groan. He probably fell asleep only hours prior but he never even noticed. Why he didn't have a shirt on either he couldn't remember, nor why the smoke was thick in his room still. He could take a few guesses though if he had the energy. Staggering uncontrollably, he made his way over to his crap-covered desk to turn off his computer that caused the room to glow an eerie blue color. He never even realized he had left it on.

Before clicking 'shut down' he noticed he'd been pestered earlier.

**- adiosToreador [AT]- began pestering termiallyCapricious [TC]-**

AT: hEY,

AT: aRE YOU THERE?

AT: ,,,,oKAY,,,, sORRY, uHHH, fOR BOTHERING YOU,

AT: my FRIEND JUST SAYS, uHHH, THANK YOU,

AT: fOR HELPING ME LAST WEEK,

AT: sHE TOLD ME TO TELL YOU THAT,

AT: cAUSE I TOLD HER YOU HELPED ME OUT AND STUFF,

AT: wELL NOT STUFF JUST THAT,

AT: aNWAY YEAH SHE SAYS THANKS,

AT: i'LL STOP MESSAGING YOU NOW,

AT: bECAUSE YOU AREN'T ONLINE,

AT: i GUESS,

AT: oKAY,

AT: bYE,

AT: i WILL TALK TO YOU, lATER,

AT: uNLESS YOU DON'T WAN'T ME TO,

AT: i HOPE I'M NOT ANNOYING YOU NOW,,,

AT: sORRY

AT: uHH,,

AT: bYE,

**- adiosToreador [AT] ceased pestering termiallyCapricious [TC]-**

He looked at the message for a few seconds before cracking a wide grin at Tavros's sheer adorableness before placing his fingers shakily on the keyboard and quickly replying.

TC: iT's AlL cOoL, bRo

TC: yOu'D nEvEr MoThErFuCkIn' AnNoY mE MaN,

TC: sO don't SaY ThAt EvEr.

TC: aLsO nO PrOblEm, bRoS gOtTa HeLp EaCh OtHeR aNd ShIt.

TC: gOtTa CrAsH, GoTtA SlEeP.

TC: nIgHt,

TC: hOnK :o)

**-termiallyCapricious [TC] ceased pestering adiosToreador [AT]-**


	7. Chapter 7

**_At Fault: Chapter 7  
><em>**

The next day on his way to school he was still reasonably cheered up, which was quite a rare thing since he could almost be called solemn when he was on his way to school (solemn for Tavros anyway, he was, in general, never a brooding sort of person. Or at least he tried not to be), even more so at the message he received from Gamzee just that morning. He wasn't sure why he was so pleased by it, but his eyes were bright and the small upwards arch of his lips confirmed a smile. Gamzee was such an overly nice person he was certain they would become friends. Whether he meant the intense kindness or not, it didn't really matter to Tavros. He appreciated anybody being nice to him because it was usually so rare. Simple things tended to cheer him up, like a message saying 'you'd never annoy me, bro'. Again he thought of it, and again a wave of relief washed over him.

A person like him simply needed the reassurance that his demeanor wasn't aggravating to other people, which in his mind it tended to be. It was obvious from the way his peers and his family treated him. Not only his father, but on rare occasions when he was visited by his grandfather, aunts and uncles, he could hear the scorn in their voice and practically feel their eyes burning the back of his head. They weren't to be blamed though, he knew that. It's what he was always taught.

His dad pulled up to the curb in front of the school and Tavros thrust open the car door, posed to push his wheelchair out when his dad sighed dramatically and turned towards him. Tavros halted in his actions and looked back at him curiously, "I really wished you'd wipe that smile off your face." His father merely stated.

"W-why?" Tavros asked, a little surprised.

"I mean, I just don't understand. Help me understand, Tavros." He sounded like he was generally trying to comprehend what was ever muddled him. "How can you have a smile and be happy as much as you have been, knowing you killed your mother. I mean, doesn't that hurt you? At all? You've had that stupid smile on your face all morning. It's a little annoying, and I frankly am just wondering, why are you possessed to smile right now?" By his tone it was impossible to know whether he was trying to purposely hurt him or he was sincerely confused.

"I-I..." he wasn't sure how to answer, "I guess I wasn't thinking a-about it..." Thinking about how he killed his mother wasn't one of those things he liked to keep on his mind, even if his dad was good at reminding him of it.

His father blinked slowly, a look of disgust creeping up his features. "Just leave, Tavros." He finally dismissed. He turned away as if unable to stand the sight of his own son anymore.

Tavros did so. He pushed his wheelchair out of the car and unfolded it. He clumsily slid into his wheelchair and slammed the car door closed. The car sped away the second the door clicked shut and he was left in a wisp of exhaust.

As he wheeled up the sidewalk, perhaps it was just his paranoia, but he noticed bizarre looks from a nearby group of students. They weren't exactly hiding their staring either, even when he glanced over and returned their gazes curiously. He recalled often got the same looks in elementary school when the other children were afraid of his nubby legs. They would stand in groups on the other side of the playground and just… _stared_ at him and _avoided_ him as if he had some rabid disease; as if not having legs was a sort of virus that they could get by being in close quarters with him. Granted it obviously wasn't true, but they were children, and their gawking was nothing they hid.

Of course back then, this lack-of-legs thing was new to them. These days the children that teased him immaturely on the playground had grown into teenagers and have gotten used to seeing their old classmate without any legs. It was a natural reaction to insult him when they could,

but their staring at long gave way to giving him the cold shoulder. So why were they staring now? Why did they look at him like he sprouted candy-corn colored bullhorns and his skin turned gray? It was something perplexing, and it only increased throughout the day and progressed with each passing class period. Stares of curiosity, disgust, surprise and even disbelief. It was a strange mixture of emotions across his classmate's faces, and his own inquisitiveness about the whole thing grew. If he was less of a timid person he might have approached one of the students and asked them what was up. Well, he supposed he should use to strange stares by now. Even though he was perhaps slightly bothered by it he went about his daily life at school.

Tavros found out later that day, however, just why people were paying special attention to him (and not in a good way). He was on his way to lunch after class he suddenly found himself confronted by a group of students. They practically encircled around him and towered over him.

"God damn you're such a freak." A girl sneered.

Tavros flinched, _I already knew that._

"We heard about your mom." A boy got right down to it, "Did you seriously _kill_ her?"

Then his blood felt like liquid ice flowing rapidly through his veins and spreading to the tips of his fretfully quivering fingers.

The same boy scoffed, "How fucking messed up is that?"

One of them cast a dark look to her friend, "Why is he even here? Shouldn't he be in an asylum?"

"No. I bet it's because of his legs." one of the guys said. "Make people feel _sorry_ for him or some shit."

Another guy chuckled dryly, "What legs?"

The group snickered cruelly while Tavros avoided their scrutinizing gazes and instead looked at a rather interesting place on the floor. It wasn't really that interesting but what else was there to look at when he was facing such social pressures?

"I always knew he was kinda freaky, and not because of having no fucking legs," One of the girls spoke again, fixing Tavros with an almost scared look but talked about him as if he weren't there, "I mean just the way he looks at people. Have you ever noticed his eyes? They look like an animals or some shit… It's fucking scary."

"Should be in a god damn asylum, holy fuck!" The first boy snorted.

One of the guys smirked and faked being scared in an obnoxious manner, "Oh god, oh no, he's going to kill me!"

The group burst out into a roar of laughter that made Tavros visibly flinch.

One of them leaned in, "What did you do, huh? How'd you kill her?" he asked dangerously.

The image of his mother flashed in his head. She was happy. She was smiling widely, and her eyes were generous. She whispered words of comfort and patted his messy hair. He remembered her kindness was always very warm, but a memory never left that same warmth. And then there was a _honk_, a_ screech,_ and the truck collided with his family's car. There was a scream; it was a woman. His mother. She was wailing for her beloved, wailing for her son and unborn child that would never see the light of day. He could hear it vividly in his ear as if he was there in that car ten years ago again. The air was thick was the smell of burnt flesh and blood, and his ears were full of the screams of terror. Yes, he remembered exactly how he killed her. He was begging for to go to McDonalds. She had to get off the highway exit early. He begged. _Begged_. For what? For a toy. A toy. _Just a toy. _

Yes, that's how he killed her, and his unborn sibling, and destroyed the whole family he had loved.

The group gave a few last jabs before sauntering on their way, being sure to knock down Tavros's book-bag on the way. Tavros didn't care about the bag though; he let it fall to the cold floor. He was staring at particularly nothing and thinking about the words that were thrown at him. His fingers were trembling violently, as was his arms from the accusations. These are the things he had heard his father say to him every day. It had already been engrained in his head since he was young; he knew it was his fault and that he was a freak. Tavros _knew_ this; he just wished sometimes he could get over it.

_But Mom can't get over being dead, so why get over being her murderer?_

These words were like a twisted and sick form of déjà vu, only they weren't spoken from his father's tongue but from his classmate's and his own mind. As if they needed more reason to taunt him incessantly.

He fought tears as, with quaking hands, he made his way to the cafeteria. The crowd within that large room was roaring with unrecognizable words and laughter. He could feel eyes on him as he frantically looked around for Nepeta. He needed her words right now, and her ability to make him feel comfortable.

But she wasn't here, no matter where he looked.

"Hey, kid." He felt a hand on his shoulder and jumped in moment terror. Glancing up he noticed it was some teacher he didn't recognize. The teacher was looking back at him with eyes of surprise and worry. "You okay? You're crying." He asked.

Tavros put his finger to his face and felt his cheeks. Sure enough warm tears were trickling down his cheeks without him even realizing it. He had been crying without knowing it. He really wished Nepeta were here right now, or even Aradia. Anyone, really. Anybody he could trust would make him feel better.

"I-I gotta go," Tavros struggled to say before wheeling away. He was out of the cafeteria within moments and in the abandoned hallway; arms moved quickly as he wheeled his chair down the hallway in search of _something._

That something happened to be a bathroom. He really, truly, hated school bathrooms. He remember so often when he was younger that he would be cornered in the bathroom and have his bookbag taken and thrown into the girl's bathroom. One time it wasn't just the book-bag that was thrown into the girl's bathroom, but so was he. Luckily the kid's that did it got in loads of trouble, but 9-year-old Tavros was devastated and embarrassed from it to no end.

The thought left him as he wheeled into the largest stall and just sat in his wheelchair. Alone. Only the drip of a leaky faucet echoed across the halls, and the very distant roar of the cafeteria. He just needed somewhere to sit and let his silent tears fall in private.

Or so he thought it was private.

He heard the quietest patter of feet before hearing a familiar, slurred voice, "...You need a motherfucking tissue or some shit?"

He hitched his breath, "n-no. I'm f-fine."

There was quiet for a few moments before he spoke up again, "Any reason a brother is locked in a stall, at school, crying?" his voice drawled out.

Silence. Tavros didn't want to answer. His stomach was doing uncomfortable flips like an acrobatic because he simply felt worse than before. His mood had dropped into the dirt. Now somebody was _worried_ for him. Somebody was going out of their way to feel sorry for his situation. In a way it was nice, but more so he felt overwhelmingly guilty. Tavros was the sort of person that didn't like having people worry over him, even though it was usually rare anyway. It's not like his father tried to go out of his way to sit down and say '_hey, my son is feeling terrible, better be sympathetic._' It just didn't happen, and Tavros always told himself he was okay with that. He didn't need people to fret over him or to show him any overwhelming sympathy. But… When someone stood there and asked _what was wrong_, it was an overwhelming sense between relief and blame. His eyes were glued on the Gamzee's purple converse peeking out from under the stall door. They showed he never left, didn't even move.

"I-is this your lunch hour...?" Tavros asked quietly. He hated the thought of depriving Gamzee of a meal or that he was absent from a class he should have been helping teach.

"Doesn't motherfucking matter," Gamzee replied, "When a bro needs me nothing else matters. That's how I motherfuckin' roll."

"T-that's alright-"

Gamzee broke him off with an almost frustrated voice, if that was even possible, "No, brother, you're all up in the bathroom all crying and shit. At school. No motherfucking way I'm leaving you until I know you're all fucking smiles and rainbows."

More silence. Tavros contemplated for a few more minutes before deciding to leave the litter sanctuary of the stall and face his friend who was still hovering right outside the stall's door. He unlocked the cheap metal lock and pushed open the door.

"Oh man motherfucker I said smiles and rainbows, not frowns and tears."

Tavros glanced away, "...S-sorry."

Gamzee grinned in response before replying properly, "C'mon bro let me see that adorable as fuck smile."

Heat flowed into his cheeks and he stuttered a bit on reply before just cracking the best smile he could manage in his terrible mood.

"That's my motherfucker!" Gamzee smiled lazily as he patted Tavros's shoulder in a comforting manner.

Wow his cheeks felt hot, and not because of the dried tears. Blood flowed to his face a lit it up like a light bulb, and without a doubt Gamzee could see it. If he did, however, he gave no notice; maybe just an amused twinkle in one of his eyes gave away his observation.

"Wanna talk about what happened?" He offered kindly, his tone a little more serious.

Tavros thought about it and decided no. If he did tell Gamzee about what happened, he'd have to tell him what they were mocking him for.. That was the last thing he wanted. Gamzee was the last of people he wanted knowing about what happened in his childhood, how he killed his own mother that way.

_If he knew what if he thought I was a freak too?_ Tavros felt a pang of fear strike him. Gamzee couldn't know; he could never know. Tavros was determined to keep him ignorant to it.

"N-no that's okay." he finally mumbled.

Gamzee offered him another lazy but authentic smile, "Alright. I'm always up for listening, Tavbro."

Tavros nodded, very much thankful of that.

"You sure you're motherfucking okay…?" Gamzee asked again, his voice maybe just a little suspicious. "Because if you're sure you're alright we should probably return to class here soon… Don't want to get into motherfucking in trouble, yeah?"

Tavros quickly pulled out his phone to check the time. Wow, he hadn't even noticed the time slip through his fingers, Lunch hour would be over in only a few minutes.

"Yeah okay..." He agreed as he shoved his phone back in his pocket. "S-sorry if this was any trouble..."

"Trouble?" Gamzee asked with a hint of surprise. "No motherfucking trouble at all."

Tavros couldn't believe that. Tavros simply couldn't believe Gamzee thought that this whole thing wasn't inconvenient for him. He just spent the duration of his lunch hour standing outside a bathroom stall and listen to some pathetic amputee sob to himself, and then in the end never find out the reason why. Any person should have been frustrated, irritated, and calling him a nuisance with no backbone. How he got sympathy from someone he only recently met, and have them sincerely mean it when they say 'it's not trouble' was impossible for him to comprehend, and he simply couldn't believe it was genuine.

But when he glanced up at Gamzee, who was so tall but unintimidating, who never really showed vivid emotion but still smiled back at him and actually mean it, who had actually offered sympathy and didn't mock him, it was a strange emotion that rushed through his veins. It sort of reminded him of the feeling he first had when he had met Nepeta; that same friend feeling rushing through his limbs and making him feel so wanted and not a burden- except- it was stronger this time.

Together, the two headed out of the bathroom in unison and headed down the hall side-by-side. Before separating to head to their different classes, however, Gamzee stooped down and gave him an awkward hug around the shoulders before languidly waving goodbye and ambling down the hallway.

Tavros still felt a sort of tingling as he turned and went to his class.

Okay maybe it was going to be an okay day.

* * *

><p><strong><em>T<em>****_hank you to my editor, ~Listlessdark 3_**

**_And to all the lovely reviewers and favoriters and... alerters?  
><em>**


	8. Chapter 8

**_Doing a double update because this chapter and the next chapter aren't very long._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>At Fault: Chapter 8<em>**

It had been quite a tiring day. Then again, every day was a tiring day for Gamzee. Simply rolling out of bed, getting up and having breakfast seemed like enough of a day for him. But, sadly, today he had to do much more than just wake up and having a pudding cup. He also had to work. Being a student teacher was a little stressing, especially to high school students. He was only a little older than them, and therefore had to be more of a friend than a teacher. He had to laugh with them more than actually teach them things. They didn't respect him at all either, which for anybody else in Gamzee's position would have been frustrated by this. Really, he would have settled better with kids, like in elementary school. In fact that's what he originally wanted; he wanted to teach the little kids of 1st grade. He always liked kids, especially the younger ones. Some of them were rather hyper, but others were chill and he could easily work with them no matter what sort of issues or problems they caused. There was a huge jump between highschool teenagers and elementary school kids though, and he didn't entirely like all the differences.

But when it came to his job, he had to take all he could. He wasn't stupid; he knew this. Gamzee wasn't a picky person, or whiny either, so he supposed it wasn't a big deal. He needed to pay the bills and buy more faygo somehow, and that somehow was sucking up and dealing with a bunch of teenagers until he could move down to elementary kids.

He drove up his driveway to his and his brother's run-down house on the edge of town. The dry grass crackled under his feet as he jumped out of his warm truck into the cool early spring air. The cold nipped at his nose and fingers as he clenched onto his bag and uncharacteristically rushed to the door. Upon entering, however, his ears were violently assaulted. From another part of the house, he heard his brother had brought some chick home and they were making sweet miracles. The sounds of moans echoing throughout the small house in unison was the only thing that greeted him aside from the comforting and relative warmth of the house.

Now, he didn't have any problems with making sweet miracles. If it wasn't for his job leaving him exhausted at the end of the day he might have actually tried to dig up the energy to make miracles with anyone. It wasn't alien to him, but it wasn't as much as a necessity to him as to his brother or dad. His brother was known for sleeping around, and, well, as a child he always remembered the long chain of women his father tended to bring over when he still actually _did_ come around.

He supposed he just didn't really care about that stuff. Sometimes it would happen, but like previously-mentioned it didn't entirely matter to him.

Scratching the back of his head lazily, he pondered whether he should just go to his room, put on his cans and listen to some wicked beats to drown out the woman's incessant screaming. Motherfucker, he swore his brother had a fetish with howlers or something. Gamzee somehow always ended up having to hear it, which didn't particularly annoy him, but it distracted him from more important matters, like taking naps in a pile of horns or chatting with his friends.

Turning around, he decided he would just come back later. He didn't need to be home right now and disturb his brother from making miracles with whoever the hell he brought over this time.

Again, he quickly went back to his truck and hoped inside the still-warm cabin and started the ignition after a long hesitation. He was back out on the road within a few moments and he was sure his stereo was blasting wicked tunes. For a while he didn't have much of a destination, he just drove along back roads with an arm hanging out of the window and his hair being violently whipped to and fro by the wind. He wasn't entirely sure whether he wanted to do anything at all. Maybe he could chill with Karkat or maybe Equius.

Hmmm... Maybe not the latter. Equius was a strange brother, he treated Gamzee like God sometimes, and he always spoke with a deep, weird tone that made everything he said sound kinky or sexual somehow.

Finally, he pulled over to the side of the road and pulled out his phone. Time to do something, he guessed, to kill time. Knowing his brother he would be at it for awhile.

**-terminallyCapricious [TC] began pestering carnicoGenecist [CG]—**

TC: sUp bRoThEr?

CG: WHAT DO YOU WANT?

CG: CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY?

CG: OH WAIT BEING BUSY DOESN'T EXIST IN YOUR FUCKING JUVENILE COLLECTION OF FUCKING WORDS YOU CALL VOCABULARY.

CG: YOU WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT BUSY WAS IF SLAPPED YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE UNTIL YOU BLED PURPLE.

CG: WELL WHAT DID YOU WANT?

TC: cHiLl mOtHeRfUcKeR.

TC: iT'S JuSt mE :o)

CG: PRECISELY. IT'S THE REASON IT'S YOU THAT MAKES ME SO MUCH ON EDGE.

CG: UGH AND DO YOU HAVE TO TYPE LIKE THAT?

CG: GIVES ME A FUCKING HEADACHE.

CG: CAN'T YOU TYPE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKING PERSON?

CG: FUCK.

TC: hEy mAn ThAt'S jUsT HoW i RoLl.

TC: y'KnOw?

CG: NO I WOULDN'T FUCKING KNOW.

CG: I'M NOT AN INCESSANT STONER, SEE.

CG: I AM A NORMAL FUCKING PERSON.

TC: cAlM DoWn bRoThEr :o)

CG: I AM CALM. OR AT LEAST, I WAS UNTIL YOU STARTING PESTERING ME.

TC: wHaTeVeR yOu SaY, bEsT fRiEnD.

CG: DON'T SAY IT LIKE YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME.

CG: FUCK, WHATEVER.

TC: i WaS JuSt AsKiNg If YoU wAnTeD tO sEe A mOvIe oR SoMe ShIt.

CG: AS MUCH AS I WOULD LOVE TO SIT IN A DANK, SWEATY ROOM SURROUNDED BY A BUNCH OF OBESE ASSLICKERS AND COUPLES SLOPPILY MAKING OUT WHILE WATCHING SOME FUCKING SHITTY MOVIE WITH TERRIBLE ACTORS AND PLOT OF YOUR CHOICE,

CG: NO.

CG: AS PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED, I AM BUSY.

TC: aLrIgHt.

TC: wHaT ArE YoU BuSy dOiNg?

CG: me :)

CG: FUCKING EGBERT. I AM GOING TO FUCKING TEAR YOU A FUCKING NEW ONE.

CG: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

CG: GOD DAMN IT.

CG: I HAVE TO GO.

CG: WHY DON'T YOU GO ASK THAT USELESS FUCK THAT HAS NO LEGS YOU WERE TELLING ME ABOUT?

CG: NITRAM OR WHATEVER.

CG: BYE.

**-carnicoGenecist [CG] ceased pestering terminallyCapricious [TC]—**

Gamzee sat there and chuckled to no end at Karkat's continuous anger. Frankly he wasn't sure how he survived without him settling him down all the time. Must have been that John kid he's always talking about. Sounded like they were having a good enough time...

Still giggling he struggled to hold his fingers steady as he tried taking Karkat's advice and pestering Tavros.

**-terminallyCapricious [TC] began pestering adiosToreador- [AT]—**

TC: hEy.

TC: sUp mOtHeRfUcKeR?

AT: oH, uHH, hELLO,

AT: uHHHH,

AT: ,,,bROTHER,

TC: hOnK :o)

AT:,,,

AT: uHHH, sO, WHAT IS UP?

TC: nOt MuCh TaVbRo.

TC: aCtUaLlY nOt rEaLlY dOiNg AnYtHiNg.

TC: sO iS a MoThErFuCkEr'S bUsY?

AT: wHAT?

AT: oH, uHHH,

AT: nO, i AM NOT BUSY,

TC: sWeEt. wAnNa CaTcH a MoViE?

AT: wHAT?

AT: a MOVIE?

AT: uHHH, i GUESS i COULD,,,

TC: aWeSoMe.

AT: i NEED TO ASK MY DAD FOR, a RIDE,

AT: uHHH, brb,

TC: wAiT mAn, I cAn GiVe YoU a RiDe.

TC: tAvBrO?

TC:…hOnK

TC: hOnKhOnKhOnK.

AT: oKAY, bACK,

AT,,,

AT: tHAT IS A LOT OF, hONKING,,,,

TC: wElCoMe BaCk. :o)

TC: yEaH i LiKe HoRnS.

AT: tHANKS,

AT: aND OKAY,,, aNYWAY,,,

AT: sO, uHH, mY DAD SAID HE WOULDN'T DRIVE ME

TC: wElL lIkE i SaId, bRo, I cAn GiVe YoU a RiDe.

TC: i DoN'T mInD. :o)

AT: oH,

AT: uHH,

AT: oKAY,

TC: jUsT lEt mE kNoW yOuR aDdReSs.

AT: oKAY,

Gamzee jotted down the address he was giving before typing a farewell to Tavros and turning his phone off to conserve the little battery he had left before taking off in his roaring car once more. Luckily, he was already quite close, so he was rolling up in front of the small suburban house within a few minutes.

He noticed a face in one of the top floor windows, and he recognized it was Tavros. It surprised a little him; he wondered how he possibly end up on the top floor in a wheelchair? Maybe they had an elevator or something. He wouldn't have assumed the low-middle class house would have an elevator, but…

He set the car in park before kicking the rusting door open with a foot and sauntering out to meet Tavros coming out of his house and down the walkway that stretched from the front door to the sidewalk.

"Hey, little bro," Gamzee drawled out, giving him a short wave.

"H-hello, Gamzee…" Tavros greeted with a half-smile, and Gamzee could hardly stop himself from thinking this kid was one of the most adorable motherfucker he'd ever seen. His smile was a small one, almost modest, and was a nice addition his slightly tan-shaded face. His amber-yellow eyes carefully avoid Gamzee's. Probably out of shyness Gamzee presumed, which wasn't helping with the early thought of how fucking adorable he was. Like a kitten or some shit.

He opened the car door for Tavros, but then appeared to be a problem. The truck itself was very high off the ground, and only had one row of seats. He guessed the wheelchair could go in the back, but how was Tavros supposed to get up?

"Here, let me help you, brother," Gamzee offered, but Tavros waved him away.

"I-I can do it, no worries." He told him quietly as he lifted himself off the chair and practically _crawled_ up into the seat. It looked to be not much of a struggle but Gamzee still felt bad for not helping. The lethargic man just hovered there and watched Tavros pull himself into a truck. He had to admit though, this brother was strong... Physically and mentally. Even though he didn't know Tavros very well, it was just his instinct to assume. It was sort of obvious that he was physically strong just because of the slight bulk in his shoulders and arms compared to the rest of his skinny-ass body.

Before he could reach down for his wheelchair however, Gamzee took it before he could touch it and tried to fold it up to put in the back. It took a few moments of Gamzee's struggling and Tavros's quiet chuckling before he actually managed to properly fold it and shove it into the back of the truck.

Gamzee joined him in the cabin and revved the engine. It roared to life with a cranky growl from deep within the motor. It was an old thing, but pretty reliable. Once he was on the road again, he began blasting his music through the stereo. After a moment he shifted his gaze over to Tavros, who was looking at the stereo.

"It isn't motherfuckin' bothering you is it?" Tavros asked as he turned down the volume.

"O-oh! No! Not at all!" Tavros was startled by the sudden question evidently because he jumped in his seat and looked a little uncomfortable.

Gamzee wasn't so certain, "You sure?"

"Y-yeah! Of course," Tavros replied with another small, reassuring smile.

Tavros's smiles were a little toothy, and usually wholehearted, Gamzee realized. It was a nice change, he supposed, from the 'fake' teenagers he was surrounded by day in and day out.

A few minutes of music followed before Tavros asked, "So do you, uh, have a movie in mind?"

Gamzee shrugged in a slothful manner, "Not really. Whatever is playing when we get there," he paused, "unless there's a movie out you want to see right now?"

"N-not really." Tavros replied, "I don't even know what movies are out right now."

"Hah, neither do I." Gamzee offered an indolent grin, "I don't watch much TV so I don't see the ads."

"S-same here."

They chitchatted idly back and forth on their way to the theater.

Upon arriving at the theater about ten or fifteen minutes later, Gamzee discovered Tavros really doesn't go to the movies much. He didn't bring nearly enough money for a ticket, let alone popcorn and snacks. Shrugging, Gamzee went ahead and paid for both their tickets much to Tavros's displeasure.

"I-I will pay you back!" He kept saying as they made their way to the concession counter.

"No motherfuckin' way. I don't mind paying at all." Gamzee stated

"B-but-"

"Man, what did I say about frowning, bro? I like to see motherfucking smiles and rainbows."

Tavros sighed in defeat, but did offer a small grin.


	9. Chapter 9

**_At Fault: Chapter 9_**

Tavros was a little more than surprised when Gamzee messaged him in the middle of the day. He was pleased to talk to his new friend even though they had talked back and forth at least once a day now. But when he asked him out to a movie he almost lost it. How he managed to actually type an intelligible response was beyond him. He was very surprised, and at the same time, full with excitement. His fingers had quivered uncontrollably between his replies as he watched the screen in anticipation.

The fact his father said _no_ to giving him a ride to the theater, however, had left him almost crestfallen. He was slow in returning to his room and telling Gamzee about it. Surprise, surprise when Gamzee offered to drive him! Tavros had instantly cheered up at that. Granted, he hadn't been to a movie in a long time. He remembered going to the movies a few times with Nepeta a few years ago, but it wasn't a normal thing for him to do. As he scratched at his slightly prickly facial stubble that spread across his chin he tried to recall how much money it was for a ticket. He didn't have much money from what his grandmother had last sent him (his only source of money was what she sent him every once and a while since he didn't have an allowance and couldn't work.) He stuffed a random amount in his wallet before rolling his chair over to his lizard cage and watched him eat crickets until Gamzee got there.

That didn't really take long. He heard the loud music before he saw the deep purple truck pull up to the curb in front of the front lawn. He quickly went downstairs and didn't waste his time saying bye to his father who was probably getting drunk in the garage.

The ride to the movie was quite calming, It was just simple chatter back and forth. This was one of the first long conversations he had face-to-face with Gamzee (normally they talked only online), and he realized just how lethargic he was. His speech was drone out a lot of the time, and his words were quite slow. There was hesitation before replies a lot, implying there was some sort of intense thought process for a simple question. Tavros didn't mind, but he did wonder what made him so slow in general. Perhaps it was just his biological disposition, but it was still sort of strange. Tavros of course didn't mind. He actually found it easier to talk to Gamzee than most other people. He was on the same tier as Nepeta; probably even higher because speaking with Nepeta usually involved her doing most of the talking while he listened, nodded and smiled.

Tavros was also glad to find he wasn't boring Gamzee at all. Even though he had that sort of impassive atmosphere, there was a certain security and interest in his voice under the lazy and almost somnolent tone. It made talking to him almost effortless on his part, and even enjoyable.

Upon arriving at the theater, that comfort seemed to evaporate as Tavros discovered he was off by a few dollars. He glanced guiltily from his wallet and back to the other man who was standing next him, casting a slightly curious look. He explained with slight hesitation and embarrassment that he didn't bring enough money. Gamzee only smiled sleepily and paid for his ticket as well.

Paid for his ticket. He didn't want Gamzee to pay for his ticket!

"I-I will pay you back!" He kept saying as they made their way to the concession counter.

"No motherfuckin' way. I don't mind paying at all." Gamzee replied sternly.

"B-but-" Tavros tried to make a deal with him. He felt like a burden again for first needing a ride and then having this man pay for his ticket! His thoughts were racing and all muddled with his nervousness and guilt.

"Man, what did I say about frowning, bro? I like to see motherfucking smiles and rainbows."

Tavros sighed in defeat, or so it seemed. He tucked it in the back of his mind for later. He was sure he would pay Gamzee back soon. He couldn't let Gamzee use money on him; it caused too much blame.

The movie was alright, if not a little redundant. It was some action movie with a side of unrealistic romance that still caught Tavros's attention. By the end he was a sack of emotions as he leaned in slightly for the final scene. The adventure and the action of the movie had kept in, and the romantic side-plot only added to his emotions.

Gamzee seemed indifferent about the whole thing. He was sunken into his seat, watching the movie through half-lidded eyes and occasionally taking a long, slow sip from his soda. If Tavros was paying attention to him at all, he probably would have wondered if Gamzee was interested in the movie whatsoever.

By the end of the movie and the credits rolled, Tavros couldn't stop talking about it. He wanted to go over every detail there was, and maybe even go see it again. Yes, it was that good. Yes, Tavros, for once, couldn't stop talking. Gamzee listened, nodded, and occasionally threw in his opinion that was lost in the jumble of words that came from Tavros's mouth. He was excited!

They got into the truck but Gamzee didn't rev up the engine. It took a few minutes of Tavros's incessant rambling to notice this. He cut off his sentence just as he was talking about a scene where the main character was trying to save the love interest but failed. He glanced over at Gamzee with confusion, only to find those yellow hued eyes trained right on him. They spoke of nothing; they just looked with a lazy manner. But they were looking _right_ at him with a certain intensity that made him stop talking and shift awkwardly in his seat as the silence began to lengthen.

Only the muffled sounds of distant crowds and cars were heard. Not even Gamzee's stereo or a distinguishable voice could be heeded.

"You know, Tavbro, you're an awfully cute motherfucker." Gamzee finally told him bluntly.

"U-uhh…" For the first time since the movie ends Tavros didn't _have_ anything to say. He just sat in an awkward silence before shakily saying, "Uhhh… t-thank you…"

He felt uncomfortable now. Not in an incredibly bad way, just an unfamiliar way. His heart was… fluttering? He wasn't one to get complimented often, like previously mentioned so many times. Subconsciously, he nibbled at his bottom lip again and averted his eyes to stare at the dust on the dashboard. Wow, it could really use a dusting off.

Gamzee was watching him closely, and for once his eyes were analyzing, not so languid. More silence stretched out, and Tavros was determined not to look up. After what seemed like a short eternity Gamzee turned away and grinned again, "You're welcome, brother."

Not many words passed between them on the way home. It wasn't an awkward or tension-filled sort of silence; it was just a sort of peaceful silence. Before long they were stopped out in front of Tavros's house. Once Gamzee opened his door (much to his displeasure) and set up his wheelchair, he slithered awkwardly into it and shut the car door himself.

"Thanks for the, uh, movie, by the way!" Tavros said hastily before Gamzee could return to the cabin of his truck.

"No problem, Tavbro. Anytime." Gamzee waved his hand to disregard it, "It's good times, motherfucker. Anyway, later."

Tavros waved as Gamzee got back into his truck, revved up the engine once again and drove away. He wheeled his way up the walkway, into his house and up to his room. Instinctively he went to his computer and booted it up. His father wasn't around to question him about where he was or to put him through any more guilt trips. He logged onto his normal things like pesterchum and FLARP, and only broke his ritual when Aradia began pestering him.

**-apocalypseArisen [AA] began pestering adiosToreador[AT]—**

AA: hell0

AT: hELLO aRADIA,

AA: i am surprised t0 see you haven't been 0n flarp

AT: oHH, uHHH, i WAS GONE FOR A FEW HOURS,

AA: that is rare

AT: yEAH, i WENT TO, sEE A MOVIE

AT: iT WAS COOL,

AT: tHE ENDING WAS, aMAZING, aND ALL THOSE THINGS,

AT: i KINDA WANNA SEE, iT AGAIN,

AA: that's c00l

AA: i have n0t seen a g00d m0vie in a l0ng time

AT: aLL MOVIES ARE, uH, bORING TO YOU, rIGHT

AT: hAVE YOU EVEN EVER, lIKED A MOVIE?

AA: there are s0me i guess

AA: well d0esnt really matter

AA: better things t0 d0 y0u kn0w

AT: i GUESS,,,,

AT: iT WAS STILL PRETTY COOL,

AT: aNYWAY, wANNA

AT: uHHH, FLARP?

AA: yeah sure

AT: aLRIGHT, i WILL BEAT YOU }:)

AA: just try

**-apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased pestering adiosToreador[AT]—**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Yes Tavros has a stubble.<em>**

**_A very small stubble._**

**_He is so manry._  
><strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**_At Fault: Chapter 10_**

Ever since he went out with Gamzee the previous weekend, his mood had been rather lifted. Well, as lifted as it could be through the jabs and insults he got from his classmates. It was like elementary school all over again, back on the playground where all he got were those _looks. _They feared him, they thought he was weird, a freak, never to be given a chance. His classmates were like gossiping children on a playground, shifting around him as if he was a disease so they couldn't come into close quarters and fix him with a look of scrutiny.

It was something he forgot, and now because of an overheard conversation with his dad, it was something he had to get used to all over again.

There were upsides though. It seemed the extra attention also did some good. Some people were actually friendly towards him (or maybe pitied him). It was perplexing. He noticed though they were all on the bottom of what could be referred to as the 'highschool food chain'. Some of these people were band nerds, some gamer loners; just a few people that offered him a wave in the hallways as they passed or would partner up with him in class. The balance was teetering, and it was easier to keep his head up and keep his confidence dangling by a hair. (Normally that said confidence would have plummeted to the ground and exploded into tiny shards like glass.)

He probably shouldn't question this new found kindness from a few selected classmates but it was still a strange thing that caused him to scratch at his chin stubble in mystification.

After school on Friday, he met one of these people outside the school. Her name was Jade Harley, and she was even stranger than Nepeta. She had a fascination with dogs (especially her dog), and was equally as hyper as Nepeta on any day of the week. Of course, her energy was completely in unison with her intelligence. There was always that look in her eye that assured she knew many things. Tavros found himself liking her more each day, even though they never really talked much. It was more of a passer-by thing.

Jade slowed her walking and gave him an eager wave. Her teeth making a very slight overbite and caused the smallest lisp, "Hello, Tavros." She said as she walked by him after school. She offered the smallest smile to him as well.

He waved a reply and watched her walk away.

"Who was that?" Tavros jumped in his chair. He forgot Nepeta and Equius were right next to him. Nepeta was watching him with those green eyes, and she flashed him a grin, "Made another friend? Or maybe more...?" She squealed, "You're on a roll!"

"Not really a friend, b-but for some reason she is suddenly nice to me." He shrugged, "It's weird."

"Eh, don't mind that." Nepeta waved her hand in a disregarding manner. "Are you up to anything this weekend?"

"I don't think so." Tavros shook his head. Nothing out of the ordinary ever happened on the weekends for him.

"That's always your reply," She huffed, "I'll try to get on pesterchum and we can roleplay or something!"

"I-I'd like that."

Equius sighed heavily, "My goodness you two are so childish it's not even amusing anymore," he said in his strange deep voice. He probably was rolling his eyes behind those dark, cracked shades.

Nepeta slapped him playfully on his shoulder, "Aw don't be a stuck-up, mister!"

"Roleplaying is so beneath you, Nepeta. Why you do it I'll never know…"

"Because it's fun!" She giggled into her hands and looked up at him with those kitten-cute eyes.

He let out another long and drawled sigh. "Anyway, let us go to the buses before they leave."

"It's time you got your license or something, Equius." Nepeta huffed, "Bye Tavros!" She turned to him and gave him a hug around the shoulders.

"B-bye!" He waved her off and tried to disregard the slight flustered feeling. He turned away and wheeled himself to the curb where his father picked him up.

And waited.

And waited.

After he waited for what seemed like a short eternity, he sighed and pulled out his old, decrepit phone and decided to text him.

_AT: hEY DAD, wHY AREN'T YOU UHHH, hERE?_

_?: Still typing like an idiot i see. Im at a meeting, so i can't pick you up. you will have to walk home._

_AT: bUT i CAN'T WALK,,,,_

_?: and whose fault is that? Quit being a pansy and go home on your own. Its about time you got a license or something, anyway._

_AT: i CAN'T DRIVE EITHER,,,,_

_AT: bUT OKAY,,,,_

He got no reply after that so he pocketed his phone. Walk home, huh? He lived only a few miles away from school. To a person with legs it would only take an hour or two to walk home. He, however, had to wheel himself that distance. The thought made his arms throb a little.

He inhaled and exhaled very slowly before wheeling his way down the sidewalk._ At least the weather isn't too terribl_e, he thought to himself as he glanced up at the sky. Gray clouds covered the skies and a breeze made the air a little nippy. His nose became runny after as few minutes of the chilling wind. His fingers grew cold with the early spring temperature and blood began rushing his face and caused a bit of reddening around his cheeks and nose. He thanked all the high heavens that he decided to wear long sleeves this morning, but it didn't ward off the chills of the cold completely. He never did handle the cold well.

But hell, it could have been worse. It could have been raining and the wind could have been whipping the trees in such a violent manner that leaves and branches would go spiraling to the ground and obscuring his path with debris and making it harder to use his wheelchair.

As he stopped on the edge of a curb and waited for the light to tell him to cross the street, he heard his phone make a noise from deep within his pocket. Before the light could turn he pulled it out and checked what the noise was about. Gamzee was pestering him, and for a moment he thought this was sort of strange.

But of course Gamzee always pestered him after school now. At this time he would normally be home in front of his computer getting ready to play WoW or FLARP.

**-terminallyCapricious [TC] began pestering adiosToreador [AT]—**

TC: sUp BrO?

AT: hEy }:)

AT: nOT REALLY ANYTHING,

AT: hOW ABOUT, yOU?

TC: jUsT aBoUt To mOtHeRfCuKiNg LeAvE tHe sChOoL fOr tHe dAy. I hAd tO sTaY lAtE. :o(

AT: tHAT, uHHH, sUCKS,

TC: cOuLd Be mOtHeRfUcKiNg WoRsE, bRo.

AT: yEAH,

AT: wAIT i HAVE TO CROSS, tHE STREET,

TC: oKaY. wAiT. sTrEeT? wHeRe YoU At MoThErFuCkEr?

TC: hOnK. hOnK.

AT:,,,oKAY, i CAN'T TALK MUCH MORE, i UHHHH, hAVE TO GET HOME,,,

AT: kINDA COLD OUT HERE, uHH

AT: iT'S GETTING HARD TO TYPE,,,,

TC: wAiT dId YoUr DaD nOt mOtHeRfuCkInG pIcK yOu Up tOdAy?

AT: wELL, uHHH, nOOO,,,,,

AT: hE HAD A,

AT: mEETING,

AT: sO HE WAS UNABLE TO COME TO SCHOOL, aND PICK ME UP,

TC: bUt YoU lIvE MoThErFuCkIn FaR aWaY fRoM tHe ScHoOl.

TC: wHeRe YoU aT? i JuSt GoT tO mY tRuCk I cAn PiCk YoU uP.

AT: tHAT IS, uHH, oKAY,

AT: i CAN GET HOME, wITHOUT HELP, }:)

TC: nO, nO, tHaT iSn'T sOmEthInG a BrOtHeR dOeS. i CaN pIcK yOu uP. a StOrM CoUlD hIt Or SoMe MoThErFuCkIGn sHiT.

TC: tElL mE WhErE YoU aRe I'Ll bE ThErE sO fAsT yOu'Ll bE lIkE wHat ThE FuCk. LiKe A mIrAcLe.

Grumbling to himself Tavros looked around for a landmark.

AT: wELL THERE'S, a tACOBELL,

TC: i kNoW wHeRe ThAt MoThErFuCkIn PlAcE iS.

TC: I'lL bE tHeRe aS fAsT As tHiS mOthErFuCkIn tRuCk CaN dRiVe.

TC: hOnK :o)

AT:,,,

AT: sEE YOU THEN,

**-terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased pestering adiosToreador [AT]—**

Like usual, Tavros heard Gamzee's truck before he even saw it. And he was right; it was a fast wait: only a few minutes. The big purple truck was noticeable even through the traffic as it turned into the Tacobell parking lot. Tavros followed as fast as his wheels could manage and reached Gamzee just as he was getting out of the truck.

"Sup?" Gamzee greeted as he shut his car door with a slam.

"H-hello." Tavros nodded, but fixed the car door with a curious stare. Whatever reason was there to shut it?

"Wanna go in a grab a bite to eat?" Gamzee asked as he shifted his position and kept most of his weight on one leg, "My motherfuckin' stomach is making some motherfuckin' rumblies. Besides you look like you could get a good meal," He gave Tavros a pointed look and poked him in the stomach for emphasis.

Tavros's response was to jump up in his chair and squeak. His hand flew over his mouth a bit too late, because the sound had already been made for any nearby ears to hear. So instead, he turned his head away so Gamzee couldn't see his expression, which in all retrospect was probably pretty pathetic. He wasn't, by any means, used to people touching him. Hugs were one thing, but poking in a sensitive spot was beyond him. It made the spot on his stomach tingle like a small spark of energy. It was a bit discomforting.

"Whoa, sorry, bro. I didn't realize you were ticklish," Gamzee apologized, looking a little surprised.

"I-it's okay," Tavros mumbled as he pulled his hand away from his face, "I wasn't even, uh, aware I was ticklish."

"How do you not motherfuckin' know that?" Gamzee asked, but apparently wasn't expecting an answer because for a flash of a second his lethargic nature vanished and his digit was back in Tavros's side. It poked at the soft flesh and Tavros did another animalistic squeak before he could slap his hand over his mouth again. Gamzee had a full-on smirk on his face, but it wasn't in any way unkind. It was filled with a milky warmth and friendly amusement.

"T-that is, uhhh, that is a little, can you… not do that?"

"Sorry motherfucker." He apologized again, "That sound was just too motherfucking adorable."

A fury of blood in his cheeks hit him. He was thankful when Gamzee waved his hand to invite him to the restaurant. He took the invitation happily and rolled behind the languid man into the Tacobell.

It wasn't very crowded in the restaurant. A few people sat here and there in the generic white and brown booths. The scent of poorly made taco meat and hot sauce hung in the air heavily and was, contrary to belief, rather pleasant to inhale.

He wasn't much of a meat-eater usually but there wasn't much on the menu _aside_ from meat, so he settled with some sort of burrito. He wasn't very picky, so it didn't really matter what he got. Gamzee ordered as well, and Tavros thanked the high heavens once again that he remembered to put the rest of money in his wallet (which wasn't much, it'd been a while since his grandma sent him any money) so he could pay for his own meal without the help of Gamzee's hard-earned bills.

Gamzee grumbled irritably at the soda machines though. He fixed them with a rarely-seen scowl as his eyes scanned the names of soda brands.

"No Faygo." He muttered to himself as he settled with Mountain Dew.

"Faygo?"

"It's only the greatest drink every motherfucking made. It's like a motherfucking elixir of life and miracles." Gamzee replied, and Tavros was a bit taken back at the intensity of his voice. Normally it was barely dripping with any energy at all. Now, he was speaking as if this Faygo stuff was the messiah itself.

Tavros admitted, "N-not sure I've heard of it."

Gamzee shrugged, the moment of intensity gone as quickly as it came. "Not surprised motherfucker. It's hard to come by."

So they chitchatted back and forth as they ate the greasy, almost unappetizing food. It was relaxing, really, just sitting there and talking so calmly. It was similar to hanging around Nepeta; there was just that certain trust that had him feeling _happy _and surprisingly _confident_ with himself. It was a nice feeling for a change, and very comforting. Gamzee's aura was all about 'chill'. He never got upset or overly excited, which worked well with Tavros's own disposition. Even the lack of strong emotion, there was that kindness right behind his voice that made Tavros appreciate his newfound friendship with this man even more.

"..So motherfucking shit was like—" Gamzee was saying, but he cut off to shove his hand into his pocket and pull out his phone. "Some motherfucker's texting me; hang on."

Tavros sat back in his chair and sipped at his drink as he watched Gamzee quickly poke at his phone's keyboard with his thumbs.

"Hmm... bro thanks for telling me," Gamzee said in what could be considered for him as a sarcastic manner.

"W-what is it?" Tavros asked as he gave the plastic cup in his hand a tiny squeeze.

"My brother all up told me he brought some chicks over and having some party or some shit." Gamzee said, pocketing his phone, "Nice of him to tell me so I don't walk into some weird-ass motherfucking crap."

"P-party?" Tavros asked, a bit oblivious, "And he didn't invite you?"

"Man, no, no, no," Gamzee swished his head back and forth to emphasis his 'no'. "Even if he motherfucking did, I would not want to be a fucking part of it. Motherfucking lose my think pan that way."

"Oh." Tavros had to wonder what sort of party it was if his brother didn't invite him. But he didn't try and wonder too hard in case he somehow wandered into a more disturbing place of his mind.

"Anyway, doesn't motherfucking matter." He crumpled up the wrapper that had his taco in it and tossed it onto the plastic tray that held their meal prior. "Anyway, mind if I chill at your house or some shit?" Gamzee asked as he took the lid off the cup to his soda and chugged the last of it.

"Umn… er… I-I guess, if you… want?" Tavros found he was squeezing his cup even harder. "M-my house is not, very, what you would call 'exciting'."

"Well there isn't anything else to do." Gamzee just shrugged, "I don't care if we just motherfucking sit on a couch and stare at a fucking wall for fucking hours and all that." He stood and left the mess on of their meal on the table for some unfortunate employee to clean it up. Casting an unsure glance at the mess, Tavros left his cup with it and followed Gamzee out of the restaurant.

Again they returned to the truck. The inside had long since turned as cold as the outside air, so Gamzee turned on the heater along with his stereo music before rolling out of the parking lot with a screech of tires and groan of the engine. They arrived at Tavros's house a few minutes later. Tavros didn't think his father was home, so he guessed it was okay for Gamzee to be there. But he was still nervous that the man will think he was boring or something. He probably should have more faith in the strange adult, but it was difficult. He didn't want to somehow lose Gamzee, especially by Tavros's own stupidity or disposition.

He guided Gamzee to the front door after they left the truck. He fumbled for his keys before shoving them into the old lock and forcing the door open. Only, he forgot to put the wheelchair's break on as he thrust the door open. His wheelchair went sliding back straight into Gamzee. Tavros whipped around, hoping he didn't push the man down somehow, "S-sorry."

Gamzee was fine though, he must have seen it coming and reacted fairly fast because his hands were around the wheelchair's handles and he was pushing Tavros into the house.

Tavros wasn't used to being pushed around in his chair, and he felt a prick of unease, but didn't object to it (even though he really wanted to).

"Whoa, nice front door," Gamzee admired as he slipped past it on the way inside the house. "Even nicer motherfucking house."

The house wasn't much, really. They came into the living room, which was only modestly decorated with a couch, table. and a TV, among some other miscellaneous things. Along the right wall were the stairs leading to the second floor. He broke away from Gamzee towards the stairs, "My room's upstairs. T-there is not much down here except for, the, uh, TV and the kitchen."

"Alright brother." Gamzee, who had been inspecting the house with that same lazy look turned towards him. His face twisted into one of inquiry. The look stayed on his face as Tavros stopped at the foot of the stairs and made a move to get off the chair, "What's a motherfucker doing?"

"I'm… uh, going up the stairs?" Tavros offered with slight questioning.

"Don't have an elevator or some shit?"

"N-no. Why?" Tavros said confusedly, but then he realized it probably wasn't normal for somebody with no legs to casually crawl up stairs. "Oh! I, uh, always get up the stairs this way. No big deal." Tavros gave him a small smile of reassurance.

Gamzee wasn't buying it. He strolled over. "No brother of mine is going to crawl up stairs."

"B-but- I can do it just fine…!"

"I know you motherfucking can," he said as he scooped a squeaking Tavros up into his arms. "I know you motherfucking can, but, when I'm here you don't need to motherfucking do that shit."

Tavros silenced and just pursed his lips together as Gamzee carried him up the stairs. He felt so weird it was unbearable. All his muscles were tense, and he felt his front teeth dig into the bottom of his lip. Again. It was too unbearably strange and nerve-wracking to be touched, let alone carried. It was a few short seconds up the stairs, but it felt like an eternity. A very uncomfortable eternity with long silences and the feel of a warm body pressed against him in such an awkward manner, (awkward for him, anyway), that it caused his heart to explode-

And then Gamzee set him down in the old wheelchair he kept at the top of the stairs. It was older than his other one, and smaller, and was very difficult to roll around in. Hence why he kept it upstairs. With still trembling hands, he really hoped Gamzee didn't see his reddening face or shaking arms as he rolled into his room.

"Nice room, motherfucker," Gamzee drawled out as he looked around.

Tavros shrugged, "T-t-thanks." Damn, he was stuttering more than usual.

Gamzee seemed to make himself comfortable on Tavros's bed, "What are all those… card things doing all over your fucking floor?" He asked pointed at the ground and made his finger go around in circles.

"O-oh! They're for a, er, game," he said as he bent over to pick up a small stack he had brushed aside. Feeling eager, he began showing them to Gamzee. He really liked playing with his cards, and suddenly sharing his interest made him excited. He handed some of them to Gamzee and began explaining in depth about the cards. Gamzee nodded, seeming as interested as he could.

"Motherfuckin' wicked brother. Some pretty complicated shit, though."

"Y-yeah… Well not really, just… I used to play it a lot."

"Ah I didn't miss that 'used' there, brother. Any reason you don't play anymore?"

"W-well… I don't know…" Tavros shrugged, "P-playing alone gets boring." Wait that sounded _pathetic, _"And, I-I guess it's a little childish." He finished with a shrug.

"You were just awfully motherfucking excited about it," Gamzee replied as he looked over the cards again. "I can't see how it's childish, brother. I mean if you like it, no need to be motherfucking ashamed or anything."

"I-I'm not!" he lied. "J-just… well, I don't know."

Gamzee grinned, "I would motherfucking play with you but man, I'm not good at card games or shit. I'm better at like… video games on a motherfucking screen.."

"W-well…" Tavros trailed off to glance over at the old TV he got when he was younger. It was small, scratched, and almost as old as he was, but he still had it. "I h-have an old Nintendo sixty-four…"

"Whoa, seriously? That's wicked, brother. Oh shit, I haven't played one of those since I was a little dude," Gamzee replied, casting a relatively excited look at the TV, "What games do you have?"

"N-not many." Tavros wheeled over to the television that was on top of a stand. An old, dusty N64 sat underneath it. He plugged it in, and a few moments passed of wrestling with other cables and wires until he managed to get the adaptor in right. Luckily he had a second controller that had never been used. He frowned as he pulled it out from behind the N64. It was dusty and hadn't been touched. It was originally for his dad. His father had gotten two, one for Tavros and the other for... for his unborn sibling.

That's right, he remembered, he had gotten his N64 after his mother had found out she was pregnant. It was a gift for him and the rest of the family. He remembered cuddling up against his mother's swollen stomach and playing his games while speaking softly to his sibling, telling him what was going on in the game and that one day when he/she was big enough he/she could play. His father chuckled at him and one day came home with a second controller. "_This is for your brother or sister when they're born_," he told his son as he handed him the controller. He hadn't unraveled it from the plastic cords ever. He was determined that his new sibling would do that.

It didn't really have a use after his sibling never had a chance to be born. He just kept it in the package, nested in its cords.

"Tavbro? You okay?" Tavros was brought out of his memory from the sound of Gamzee's soft voice closer than he would have preferred.

"Y-yeah. W-why wouldn't I, uh, not… be… okay?"

"Because motherfucker, you're crying."

Tavros only then felt the hot tear stream down his cheek. He turned away from Gamzee and thrust the controller at him without looking, "J-just thinking about, um, something. S-sorry."

He was quiet. He didn't take the controller form him, so after it hung in the air between them Tavros dropped it to the floor.

"Man, motherfucker… I don't know what I did, but fuck I'm sorry." He was saying, not that Tavros was really listening.

"Y-you didn't do anything, Gamzee… J-just… Forget it. Let's p-play."

"Man, if that's what you motherfucking want. But damn you don't look good, are you sure…?"

"Y-yeah. I-it happens sometimes, n-no worries." Tavros turned back to Gamzee and offered one of his smiles to assure him he was fine.

Gamzee didn't look like he was convinced though, but he shuffled back on the bed nonetheless and leaned against the headboard for comfort. Tavros turned the N64 on and tossed the controller that was left on the floor at Gamzee. He didn't watch him unwrap it. He carefully avoided the scene until he took the cord and plugged it into the machine. Once he had his own controller he shuffled awkwardly onto the bed and plopped down on his stomach.

The nostalgic screen logo flashed before the game began. Mario Kart.

The remorse was forgotten within minutes as the two began racing in the game. Tavros, no matter what he was playing, was an intense gamer, and he was very good at it. He had a permanent smirk plastered to his face as he watched the screen flash here and there. Gamzee, who sat behind him, seemed pretty surprised at Tavros's sudden mood change. He wasn't timid, nor lacked confidence right now. He was intense, and nothing was going to stop him. Even Gamzee was sort of into the game, as much as the lethargic man could get into a game. His eyes were a bit wider, and his mouth twitched downwards in the slightest show of irritation hen Tavros won again. And again, And _again_.

It had probably been hours before they set down their controllers for a break.

"Damn, motherfucker, you're good at this," Gamzee told him with a toothy grin.

"I have confidence when it comes to gaming," Tavros replied as he sat up. His muscles were knotting and stiffening from laying in one position for God knows how long.

"I noticed, motherfucker. Prettttttty impressive," He drawled out with a grin as he sunk back into the pillow on Tavros's bed.

"Really?"

"Yeah, bro. I'm pretty good at video games- well, I only really play with Karkat, and he usually gets pissed over motherfuckin' everything and then throws the controller at the wall. He's terrible at them." He smirked, "So I always motherfuckin' win. No offense to my best brother or anything…" He broke off in a lazy bout of small chuckles.

While he was distracted Tavros used that moment to glance at the time. It was about eight or so at night… he was pretty surprised to find that out. He swore it couldn't be that late. He didn't even hear his dad get home-

Oh right. His dad. He glanced over at Gamzee with apprehension. His dad might get angry upon realizing he'd brought a friend home without permission. He really hoped not…

"Hey, Tavbro, can I stay the motherfuckin' night since I can't go home?"

-What? What? _What?_

"W-what?" Tavros echoed his sudden barrage of thought that consisted of only one word.

"Well I can't really go motherfucking home… because of fuckin' reasons," Gamzee shrugged.

"I… I am not sure my dad would like that." Tavros admitted as he weaved his fingers in and out.

"Really?" He asked, "Aw, that's a bummer. Maybe some other time, bro." He pushed himself off the bed, "I can go stay with Karkat."

"Karkat?" The name sounded familiar, but Tavros wasn't sure.

"Yeah. He's my best bro. Though I haven't motherfuckin' seen in a while now…" Gamzee frowned a little bit, "He spends most of his time with that John kid."

He was quite for a minute before giving an indolent shrug, "Well, I'll just motherfuckin' surprise him at his house." He stood up off the bed, falling to the side a bit, probably from laying in the same position for a long while. He took a moment to stretch out his limbs; his arms and back rippled as muscles detangled and eased with the stretch, and Tavros for some reason stared longer than he intended.

"I can show you out…!" Tavros suddenly said as he wedged his way off the bed.

"Naw that's okay motherfucker." He waved his hand in disregard.

"But if my dad's down there-"

"I'll tell him I'm just a brother." Gamzee cut him off with a smirk, "See you tomorrow or some shit, Tavbro."

"...Uh, yeah. B-bye!" Tavros waved until he left his room. He could hear him thud down the stairs and out the door with a slam. Tavros guessed his dad wasn't down in the living room, then. Probably a good thing, too, his dad would have lost it if some weirdo suddenly came strutting down the stairs.

Tavros looked out his window just in time to see Gamzee get in his truck, rev the loud engine, and drive off into the gathering darkness.


	11. Chapter 11

_**At Fault: Chapter 11**_

Days turned to weeks, weeks turned into a month. Tavros found himself preoccupied almost completely by Gamzee. Somehow, this man was in his life every day and it wasn't becoming redundant, even after the entire month. Rather, it was quite the opposite. Over the short time, they saw each other almost every day. Gamzee was surprisingly clingy in a strange sort of way. He was always there pestering him on pesterchum or asking him to go here or there. Sometimes, he took it upon himself to swing by after school and chill in his room. Tavros didn't mind this because they usually lounged around his room for several hours and played his N64. Tavros still owned him at almost every game every time. Gamzee wasn't sore about it, quite the opposite, actually. He always congratulated his friend and clapped him on the back, or gave him a smile that wasn't rife with indolence like it usually was. Gamzee _did_ manage to win a few times, which Tavros was usually genuinely surprised at. His gamer side was sour over it, but he pushed those thoughts away and returned the compliments.

It had come to the point where his father was beginning to question his sudden mood lift; his insults and accusations where harsher and more frequent, it was as if just _seeing_ his son happy actually filled him with bile. Actually, it probably did. It bothered Tavros more than he let on. He wasn't about to say anything, he just quietly took it all in.

He was glad Gamzee had never met his father. He had a feeling that his father might actually be that one man that actually managed to piss Gamzee off; it certainly wouldn't be a mIrAcLe Gamzee always spoke of. Very much the opposite.

School was the same as well. Nothing changed in the course of a single month except Jade spoke to him a little more. Actually a lot more, and Tavros wasn't complaining. He was intrigued with the conversations they had. She was always full of inquiry and loved talking about many different things. Her voice was kind, and she was so bubbly about just everything. Except in rare cases were she'd get annoyed and could be kind of scary; but never at him, usually the people who hurt him or tried to make fun of her.

He continued to hear to insults and jabs directed at him at school. They were dying off though and now people just ignored him most of the time. He preferred being ignored as opposed to people going out of their way to confront him and sneer their verbal abuse. He shrugged it off best he could, like he always did.

Today was Friday and it was one of those days where he wasn't bothered at any point during the day. After school his father had another meeting (it seemed he was having a lot of those) which was perfectly convenient for him because he hitched a ride with Gamzee, who didn't have to stay at school late like usual.

They went to a movie, and again, Gamzee paid for both their tickets. Tavros was sour about it, but his mood lifted as the movie started. The movie was pretty good Tavros surmised, even if it was a little tedious in parts.

Tavros continued to ramble about it when it ended, even when they were in the car and on the road again. He talked and talked and Gamzee just smiled that lazy smile and nodded so often. Tavros had a feeling that even though he didn't look it, he was interested. He never really looked like he was interested in anything, so it was difficult to tell unless you knew that man relatively well. Tavros liked to think he knew his friend, but sometimes he wondered.

They agreed to get a bite to eat, and as they drove to the nearest fast food joint with a drive-thru, Tavros reflected on this. He'd been friends with Gamzee for how long? A month? A month and a half? That sounded about right. It was strange how close to Gamzee he felt, though. Even though, in retrospect, he knew little about his life. He didn't know who his parents where, only that he had an older brother who liked to throw 'parties' that Gamzee wasn't invited to, or rather, didn't _want_ to go to. He didn't know where Gamzee lived, or what his childhood was like, or any other friends of his.

Well, he guessed it was fair, Gamzee didn't know a lot about him either. He certainly didn't know about his childhood, or who his family was, and Tavros certainly was _not_ about to tell him.

Gamzee rolled into the parking lot not long later. Tavros, still pondering deeply next to him, didn't realize that until Gamzee poked him in the stomach. This time he stifled a squeak and glared at Gamzee weakly.

He chuckled, "We're here. What do you want?"

Apparently, they did make Italian fast food joints. With drive-thrus even. Tavros looked at the menu; although it said Italian, nothing really looked very Italian. There were plastic bowls of pasta, miniature pizzas and some other unrecognizable dishes. Since most of the pastas had meat or meaty sauce, Tavros shrugged. So he and Gamzee agreed to split a miniature pizza, and there wasn't a need for drinks because he kept faygo in the glove compartment. Tavros insisted on helping to pay, but again, his money was denied with an 'ain't no motherfucking brother of mine gonna pay when I can help it.'

Few minutes later, Gamzee parked in one of the spaces outside the restaurant with their pizza in the seat between them. Gamzee reached over and pulled a few cans of faygo from the glove compartment and handed one to Tavros.

He took a deep swig of it, and Tavros was reminded of his own thirst. Being around Gamzee, he had developed a taste for it; he thought it was one of the best drinks he could have. Gamzee had never been so thrilled as when Tavros once copied him and called it 'a wicked elixir.'

They dug into their pizza, and after a few slices each they both came to the conclusion they were both growing full. After finishing his third slice, Tavros wiped his hands on his pants, leaving a smear of pizza sauce and crumbs, and looked over at Gamzee, "I-I should, uh, go home soon…"

Gamzee slowed his already slow chewing and lanced up at him before pulling out his phone and glancing at it. He was probably checking the time, Tavros guessed, because he nodded and swallowed what was in his mouth, "Alright, Tavbro. Lemme just finish this piece and we'll get you home."

Tavros nodded and leaned back into the cushion of his seat. He really didn't want to go home, but he didn't want to face the wrath of his father for coming home late. He turned his head and watched Gamzee eat aimlessly. He was more in his own world than actually watching Gamzee chew his food noisily.

Gamzee caught his eye and grinned at him, "You have some motherfucking sauce on the side of your mouth."

Tavros hastily ran the back of his hand over the side of his mouth and looked at Gamzee expectedly.

"Still there, motherfucker. No worries, I can get it," he said as he leaned over before Tavros could react and ran his sleeve over the opposite side of his lip. Tavros cringed away and quickly looked out the front window, his cheeks burning and his fingers curling into the palms with a throb of nervousness.

"T-t-that was… uh… unnecessary." Tavros stuttered as Gamzee returned to his pizza.

He shrugged a reply and grinned again, "Just helping a brother out. No need to get your blush on or anything."

Tavros hid his embarrassment by taking his can of faygo and chugging the rest of it in a few sloppy gulps. Some of the fizzy soda ran along the sides of his mouth and it burned his tongue and throat furiously, but it was like a can of miracles, so he ignored it.

A few minutes later Gamzee revved the engine. Tavros quickly re-buckled his seatbelt and grabbed a hold of something as Gamzee haphazardly backed out of the parking space and went speeding out of the parking lot with a roaring engine and music blasting. Tavros sat calmly in his seat and watched the outside world go by in an unrecognizable blur. The sun was setting on the horizon, so the sky was swathed with orange, red, and even a little pink. It made a gradient design of color across the sky all the way into the blackness of the night on the opposite horizon. By the time Gamzee pulled up in front of his house, stars were twinkling and everything was cast in shadows. Even when he glanced over at the man in the driver's seat, he saw that Gamzee was barely more than a shadow. A shadow staring at him.

Gamzee was looking at him with that weird expression he sometimes fixed him with; his eyes were lethargic and glazed over with something along the lines of impassiveness, or maybe even tired. Underneath though, his eyes were kind, His expression spoke of kindness and acceptance. He looked at him all the time this way, but sometimes… it just felt deeper. The look was piercing Tavros straight in the heart for some reason.

Like usually, he returned this look with a confused gaze of his own.

"You know, Tavbro, I gotta tell you…" Gamzee began, and for once he looked like he was actually _trying_ to think of something right to say. "I gotta say, you're really motherfuckin' adorable."

"…Uh."

"I mean, I motherfuckin' see you cry, man, but you never tell me what's wrong. Sorta getting my frustrate on, and well," he scratched his head and rolled his eyes to look into the distance, "That doesn't usually motherfuckin' happen with me. I usually get all my chills on and shit, but frustration is not in my feels."

"..."

"I'm not motherfucking out to make you uncomfortable or some shit. You know you can relax around me, right brother?"

"I-I d-do! Uh, you, make me feel… relaxed…" That was the truth too. He usually did feel relaxed and himself around Gamzee without fear of scrutiny.

The other man grinned, "Well that's good, motherfucker. Didn't want you to get your nervous on… because it looks like you are." He took Tavros's hand with his and made their fingers entwine. Tavros's skin was dark and tan against Gamzee's pale, ghostly skin. It was a deep contrast.

Only, the contact didn't make him feel more relaxed. He tensed up completely and felt his anxiety flare uncontrollably.

"See, Tavbro… You make me just.. Feel all these motherfucking feels that I don't know what the fuck to do with. Your smile is as adorable as fuck, and God I just want to squish your motherfucking cheeks. You make me feel weird all up in my heart and think-pan, and… Fuck it's confusing, man. I don't normally feel so many different feels."

"O-oh…" Tavros managed to stutter as he directed his eyegaze to the car's floor. His stomach was knotting and twisting and doing the weirdest summersaults as he listened to this, whatever it was. A confession? He wasn't sure he was ready for that. Why was he even being confessed to? It couldn't be a confession, maybe Gamzee just telling him how close of bros they were. But 'brothers' as Gamzee always referred the two of them as didn't usually give each other an uncontrollable barrage of feelings. He felt sick.

"Just, man, you're an all around cute motherfucker. The cutest I've ever seen," Gamzee went on, "Just never motherfuckin told you before because you'll all panic like a motherfucker. Sorta like now."

Indeed, Tavros was panicking. He was sure he was physically ill now, between the slight trembles and his furious blushing as well as his racing heart. He had never, in his life, had heard such gentle words directed at him.

"Ever since I saw your adorable as such face when I cleaned all that dirt off it, I thought you were just the wickedest brother."

That long?

God he felt sick.

And nervous.

What was he supposed to say?

Feel?

Because right now he felt confused. Very confused. And sick, and his heart was doing the weirdest flips.

"Anyway… I didn't tell you this to freak you out or pressure you, lil' bro."

Gamzee was running his thumb along his, and as soothing as he wished it was, it wasn't soothing at all. He was too anxious. His own hands were shivering a little, and his face was very hot. He wished all this nervousness would just leave- and why was Gamzee's face so close?

"Tavbro," Gamzee said gently, his words as soft as chick down, "Tavbro. I didn't motherfucking tell you that to freak you out."

He nodded very slowly and shakily. He wasn't trying to freak out, it was just a natural response his body was making him go through. As vexing as it was, he couldn't stop the fats pace of his heart and his nervousness that pulsed through him.

"I told you that to ask if I could motherfuckin' kiss you."

"..." No words could be formed, only a long silence. Actually it wasn't silence because he was sure they could both hear his heart thudding against his chest about a million times a minute. His tongue and throat were dry, prohibiting him from being able to say anything intelligent. In his nervousness, he squeezed his palms. On one hand, his fingers balled into a fist, on the other though he only tightened his grip on Gamzee's hand. It must have been a sign Gamzee was looking for because the space between them closed.

Soft lips were against his.

He swore his thudding heart stopped right then and there. It wasn't a deep kiss; it was very light, almost a peck, but it still put his whole body into a frenzy of anxiety. It was such a simple gesture, and yet it managed to scramble everything In Tavros's brain until he couldn't tell what was up and what was down.

What was he supposed to do? How did he even kiss back? (Implying he wanted to). Did he just lean into it? Did he move at all? What was he supposed to do? He's never kissed before!

Before he could somehow return the gesture Gamzee moved away again, only by a few inches though. His face was still shadowy and it was difficult to see any evident features aside from the gentle slope of his nose and cheeks.

"I just wanted to ask because I didn't wanna motherfucking freak you out or anything…" Gamzee whispered in his calming but serious voice.

Tavros bit his lip. This was weird. Too weird. He could smell Gamzee's breath, he was so close, and his hand was secured in the fingers of his friend. But his mind was running. Was Gamzee his friend anymore? Did that kiss mean anything more? He wasn't sure he could have a boyfriend. He'd always speculated his own sexuality many times, but could never properly explore it. Sure, he experimented from watching videos on the internet… But that wasn't the point! The point was if he wanted this, and it he liked it.

Gamzee was still looking at him, and he had no idea what on earth to say.

"Tavros?"

He swallowed thickly, "Y-Yeah…?"

"Sorry, man, I didn't motherfucking think you would hate the idea of that so much." He sighed, "Didn't want to get your worry on or anything." He gave Tavros a wide smile that didn't seem very genuine and began to back away, "I won't do it again, motherfucker-"

Tavros panicked for some unknown reason seeing Gamzee get farther away. He grabbed on Gamzee's shirt almost instinctively with his free hand. The other mans eyebrows raised, and after a few moments hesitation Tavros realized it too and glanced away nervously, but only loosened his grip a bit. "N-no… N-no. It's not… Bad, uh… It's… j-just… uh, new, I guess. I am… not used to stuff l-like this." He growled inwardly to himself at how pitiful he probably sounded. He wasn't searching for pity; he just wanted Gamzee to understand.

Gamzee, to his relief, nodded slowly, "I guess I didn't motherfucking think about that… You've never had a boyfriend or girlfriend huh brother? Or have done anything motherfucking romantic or intimate or that sorta shit?"

"I-I haven't…" He admitted, "That was, um, er… My first kiss."

"Whoa? Seriously, motherfucker?" Gamzee scowled slightly. For a moment Tavros thought he was disappointed or something, but the next words surprised him: "I stole your first motherfucking kiss, that ain't wicked at all. I should have fuckin' known from the inexperience of it but… Man, I'm sorry Tavbro."

He actually sounded genuinely upset, and that upset Tavros as well. "No-no, I-it's okay. I mean, i-it wasn't bad at all."

"I'd like to motherfuckin' hope it wasn't bad," he said, mostly to himself. "So what do you wanna do, Tavbro? I don't want to motherfucking get all your pressure on or shit like that." He twitched his lips up into a lazy smile.

Tavros glanced to the side, biting his lip. He wasn't sure how to reply to this. "W-well… I…"

"You don't have to rush your answer, brother." Gamzee unbuckled his seatbelt and inched closer until he could easily put his arms around Tavros in a hug. His body was warm, and it felt like a blanket being in his grasp. Although he didn't – couldn't – relax in Gamzee's arms. It was too nerve-wracking for him.

He wasn't even sure what his answer should be. What sort of answer did Gamzee want? To be in a relationship? To accept his feelings? It was confusing, mixed messages.

"...Gamzee?"

"Hmmm, what is it Tavbro?"

"...C-Can you do that again?"

"Do what?"

"W-what you just d-did…"

He was quiet for a minute, and then it seemed to slowly snap together in his sluggish head. He pulled away from Tavros, only to connect their lips again.

* * *

><p><strong><em>what is writing a sentimental moment<em>**

**_what is being IC_**

**_wat is_**


	12. Chapter 12

**_At Fault: Chapter 12 _**

"God, you look so fucking giddy tonight. It's disgusting." Karkat observed testily through narrowed eyes as he held his front door open. The pale light behind him streamed out into the darkened hallway of the inner apartment complex. It was something straight out of a creepy movie; several lights flickered on and off as they let out a buzzing noise that Karkat always complained gave headaches. The doors were all old and decrepit; the walls were cracked in several spots; the floor had a mysterious dark stain right at his foot- oh no wait that was his shadow. He must have spaced out again.

Gamzee shrugged in response to Karkat; he was feeling pretty happy at the moment. When wasn't he happy, anyway? He always had a positive sort of mind about him. Life was just a bag of mIrAcLeS to be celebrated all day every day. Not to mention he could still feel his best bro's lips on his own. There was still that tingling there, buzzing at the flesh of his lips and making him feel all happy as fuzzies up in his heart. Granted, kissing Tavros was like kissing an inanimate object because he didn't do anything back other than squeeze his hand a little and grab his shirt. But his lips were still as soft as warm, plumps clouds. He didn't blame the little guy for it though; he didn't know how to kiss, like he said. _Well, I'll just have to motherfucking teach him sometime,_ Gamzee thought with an inward smirk.

"You just gonna stand there like a fucking retarded ass-stain or are you gonna come the fuck inside?" Karkat snapped, "I mean, if you came here to just gawk at my goddamn door I'll be more than happy to slam it into your skull so you can stare at it forever."

"Yeah, best friend," Gamzee replied calmly as he sauntered into the warm apartment Karkat owned. It was a nice, small place with a modest living room that opened up into an even smaller kitchen. The hallway opened up to only one bedroom, a bathroom, and a closet, if he remembered correctly. Everything was mismatched with an array of colors. Chairs, furniture, appliances, and posters didn't have a consistent pattern. The apartment always reminded Gamzee that he really needed to get one for himself, because the more his brother kept taking his stuff and using the entire house for his 'parties', the more it began to get on Gamzee's more negative side.

"Hey, Gamzee," said a voice that came from the couch.

"'Sup, John?" He replied as he swung his body over the back of the couch and plopped haphazardly into the cushions beside him.

"The sky, the ceiling, air…," John replied smartly with an immature, toothy grin.

"Hardy-fucking-har," Karkat pretended to laugh as he strolled over. "You're absolutely hilarious, John. My own guts are splitting from just listening to your hysterical voice and my bowels are emptying themselves as we speak because every fucking joke you make is so gut wrenching and full of sheer mirth." His voice was rife with sarcasm and contempt.

"What a pretty picture you painted there, Karkat!" John laughed and slapped him on the thigh, causing Karkat to shoot him another dagger of a glare.

"_Don't touch me_." He muttered angrily.

John smirked, his buck teeth causing a slight over-bite, "You mean like this?" His hand cupped one of Karkat's butt cheeks.

Karkat jumped in surprise, "Fucking _stop." _However, he sounded as equally as flustered as he did frustrated.

Gamzee grinned as Karkat pointedly sat on the opposite side of him to be away from John's groping. "I hope I wasn't interrupting anything," Gamzee told him as he laid back in the cushions and propped his feet up on the coffee table that was covered in a chaotic pile of miscellaneous stuff.

"Like _what?" _It was a rhetorical question but Gamzee still answered:

"Making miracles, man."

The wayward man fixed his friend with a furious glower, "Fuck you, we weren't doing shit." He hissed.

Gamzee leaned in uncomfortably close to Karkat and grinned again. "Well then, what are _these?" _He pointedly ran his finger along a red mark on his neck.

"_I ran into a fucking doorknob!" _He yelled as he swatted his friend's hands away, "Now stop _touching." _He pulled up his sweatshirt's collar to hide the marks from Gamzee's prying eyes and fixed his friend with a fearsome glare.

"Really? Sounds motherfuckin' painful," Gamzee mused.

"You don't fucking believe me, huh?" Karkat snarled, "Well I _did_ run into a fucking doorknob. I was just casually walking around and then suddenly, I fucking trip and the stupid ass-stain of a doorknob was _right _there and I fell into it. Fucking simple."

"But it's moist, yo."

"What?"

"That mark. It's still wet."

"—FUCK YOU. The doorknob was _sweaty. _Drop it already."

Meanwhile throughout the entirety of the conversation, John was casually losing his shit on the other side of the couch. "Karkat, you're the worst liar I've ever heard!"

"I'm not lying, you incessant ass-licking pile of regurgitated shit!" Karkat jabbed with a dark scowl directed at him.

"Karkat, nobody falls into a doorknob," John was saying as he wiped a tear from his eye, "You're such a dork."

"Have you looked into a fucking mirror lately?" Karkat grunted, "You're the fucking king of dorks. Dorks all over bow and trip in your presence because you're the fucking biggest goddamn dork the world has ever had the unfortunate curse of having walk its streets."

"C'mon, Karkat," He replied, "You don't mean any of that. You know it, I know it, Gamzee knows it..."

"Fuck. You. Watch me mean it."

The two continued to direct insults at each other. Or rather, Karkat shouting empty threats and John just sitting there snickering his pale ass off until he was clenching his gut and rolled back into the cushions of the old, ratty couch. Gamzee drifted in and out of the conversation, or at least what could barely be referred to as a 'conversation' as he flipped on the television. There was nothing on, but whatever, Gamzee wasn't much of a television-watcher anyway. He just figured background noise might calm the two down.

Maybe sitting between the two wasn't a smart idea after all. Within a few moments Karkat was obscuring most of Gamzee's view of the TV with his head as he leaned over Gamzee just to get closer and spit jabs at a still-laughing John. His face was only illuminated by the backlight of the flashing TV, causing him to look almost ominous. His face was angry, like usual. God, he just needed to learn to chill sometimes.

John laughed.

Karkat yelled.

Gamzee sat with a normal vacant expression and a lazy smile on his lips as he watched the television, his mind floating away into a far different realm entirely. A realm that involved Tavros. God, that motherfucker was just the cutest thing ever. If only he could have kissed him a thousand more times in the car before leaving, it still wouldn't have been enough. Sure, he was inexperienced as shit, but Gamzee didn't even give a flying fuck in space about that. Because it was Tavros. Tavros who flushed red and never made eye-contact when he was nervous. Tavros who lacked almost any confidence, so he had to be convinced day in and day out he _wasn't _annoying or worthless. Tavros who was just so nervous and uneasy about almost everything. Gamzee couldn't even hug him without the teenager's body going ridged and his breath nearly stopping. Gamzee may have been a little slow but he always noticed it. He noticed it all. And he wished he could fix it.

He wished he could do with Tavros what John and Karkat were doing now.

Presently, John had flung himself at Karkat and now pinned him down in the cushions and covered his face and neck in kisses in an attempt to calm him down. He was giggling, and Karkat was rolling his eyes. His face was turning red though, and his yelling had been reduced to grumpy grumbling. Gamzee couldn't exactly say he was jealous, but he'd love to get all his cuddling on with Tavros.

"Yo, fuckass, you know we're crushing Gamzee." Karkat finally said as John nuzzled his chin.

He was right. Their legs were entwined on Gamzee's lap, which Gamzee didn't mind. Hell, he wasn't even paying attention. He was staring at the TV with a empty expression in his face. His mind was elsewhere.

"Pft, I bet Gamzee would watch," John snickered and Karkat rolled his eyes and pushed him to the floor before sitting back up like a normal person.

Gamzee shrugged, "Man, I wasn't even paying attention."

"You were, you sick fuck." Karkat growled.

"Speaking of, Gamzee," John stayed sitting on the floor and just claimed Karkat's foot. "Did you do anything with Tavros?"

Gamzee grinned a bit, "No way, bro. He's the most innocent motherfucker I've ever met. No way am I risking changing that until he's motherfuckin' ready."

"What? How old is he? Seventeen? Just how innocent is he?" John inquired, "I mean I won't judge because I had never had sex until recently." He looked at Karkat pointedly. "Although I did have sloppy make-outs by seventeen."

Karkat put his foot in John's face, "S-shut up you sick fuck." He growled.

John claimed the foot again and began rubbing it gently while Karkat made the weirdest faces. Again, Gamzee wished he could have that sort of relationship with Tavros. Even if he didn't have any feet to rub.

There were other things to rub.

"I did kiss that motherfucker tonight though."

"Oh? I bet it was like kissing a wall." Karkat snorted.

"Naw, motherfucker, more like kissing a… a clown shaped cloud."

"…What the actual fuck, Gamzee?"

He shrugged in reply. "That's what it all up and felt like."

"Just kiss?" John asked as his fingers played with Karkat's toes (much to Karkat's distaste), "no sloppy make-outs?"

"'Course not," Gamzee slowly shook his head from side to side, "He isn't ready for that yet and that's motherfucking okay with me."

"Not ready for sloppy make-outs?" John didn't look entirely convinced, but he shrugged anyway and grinned again, "Well at least you're moving forward with him."

"So what? He your boyfriend or...?" Karkat inquired, seeming fairly interested in what Gamzee had to say now. He always had a certain interest with romantics, Gamzee knew, so it was no surprise that he was taking an interest now and not just feigning lazy half-assed responses.

"Well, I don't motherfuckin' know. I didn't really ask."

Karkat's dark brow furrowed,"Why the fuck would you not ask?"

Another shrug in reply.

The anger creases in his face increased and his lips drew back in a scowl, "Well maybe you should have fucking asked him."

"Didn't seem like the right time, k'now? The universe wasn't ready for me to ask. Don't wanna pressure a motherfucker."

His best friend replied with am almost comical face-palm. "Gamzee, I swear you can be the biggest, most retarded fuckass I know." He used his fingers to message his face in exasperation.

"I love you too, best friend."

"Whatever." The was Karkat's way of saying 'I love you too, fuckass'. "So is there a reason you're here aside from being a swooning, happy fuckass?"

"Well, it'd be nice to borrow your couch for the night."

He sighed heavily and grumbled something unintelligible before saying a bit louder, "You really need your own place, Gamzee. You can't keep bumming off our couch and pigging out on our food."

John nodded in agreement with his boyfriend. "Yeah, Gamzee. I mean, you're cool and all and I don't mind you chilling here, but..."

"I know, motherfuckers, I know. I just need to get on my feet and shit. It's time I moved out anyway. Hey, maybe I can all and move into this apartment building."

Karkat threw his body back into the back of the couch in maybe frustration,"Just don't bother us every fucking day."

Gamzee spent the rest of the night idly chatting with John and Karkat. They eventually ordered pizza for dinner, and all of them laid around the living room while watching terrible Adam Sandler movies that Karkat insisted John and Gamzee watch. The two thought they were terrible, and although Karkat acknowledged how bad the movie was, he was keenly interested in it anyway. His eyes never left the screen, and he made a sniffling noise when the love interest regretted the main character. John rolled his eyes while Gamzee just snickered at his best friend.

By about eleven John and Karkat were passed out together on the couch while Gamzee was still splayed out on the floor in front of the television. It let off an ominous, flickering blue glow throughout the room. He glanced over a few times to see if Karkat and John were okay. They were tangled together on the couch; Karkat grumbled in his sleep like he always did and John was in a GWOP form with all his limbs sticking out and his mouth gaping. The smallest trickle of drool streamed down his face and onto the cushions beneath him. Gamzee could easily see how even wayward Karkat managed to fall for that cute face and dorky personality. He couldn't help but wish, again, for that sort of relationship with Tavros.

Still, he wished Tavros could be that at ease with him. If he wasn't as mellow-minded as he was, he probably would have been immensely frustrated. But no, he would be okay with waiting until Tavros wanted to move along. If he ever did. Gamzee would completely respect Tavros if he didn't want anything to do with Gamzee other than friendship.

Of course, that's not to say it wouldn't hurt.


	13. Chapter 13

_**At Fault: Chapter 13**_

_It was a soft, tingling feeling, what spread through his veins. What was pressing against his lips so yielding, and yet powerful enough to unbalance his entire composure; to twist his emotions until they were intense enough to knock him over and to send his heart into such frenzy it almost hurt. It felt as if his chest was about to burst in an explosion of feelings. _

_ His soft lips merged with another set of lips over and over again. They slid along each other in a gentle and un-opposing matter. Tongues weren't even involved; it was just a kiss. The other man's body was close, and the warmth coming from beneath his clothing felt nice. _

_ Gamzee was so careful as he ran his hand through Tavros's Mohawk, his fingers entwining with the dark brown, thin hair on his scalp. They were wary not to tangle as the digits massaged the thinner layer of peach fuzz around the Mohawk, gently running along the scalp in small circles. It felt nice, and Tavros hardly dared to return the favor. But he did, and he could, and his hand ran through Gamzee's messy locks of raven hair. The hairs were tangled in his fingers easily, but he didn't hear any protests of pain._

_ Gamzee's other hand was caressing his neck and pulling him ever-so-slightly closer while Tavros's was around Gamzee's torso and rubbing his back. The fabric was soft and warm against his fingers as he occasionally ran it up and down along the other man's shoulder and spine. It must have been nice, because after a while he hummed softly against Tavros's lips._

_ It was so simple, and it was nothing more than that. _

_ "You know you can relax around me," Gamzee whispered daintily between gentle kisses._

_ "I am relaxing," there wasn't a stutter, "You make me relaxed and at ease…"_

_ Gamzee smiled nonchalantly as he ran his lips along Tavros's cheek, "Good, motherfucker. Wouldn't want you to be nervous…" _

_ "Not this time," Tavros murmured before planting another kiss on Gamzee's lips._

* * *

><p>Tavros was rudely awaked by his alarm clock's annoying beeping. With a bothered groan he rolled over in bed and turned it off before stretching his mouth wide in a yawn. His lips peeled back, and his teeth were exposed before his lips came together again. He ran his palm groggily over his eye as he pulled himself from the pile of pillows and looked around his never changing room. Only, he didn't really see anything.<p>

The only thing on his mind was his dream.

His head was spinning.

Maybe he shouldn't have been surprised that such a dream would occur. For a moment it felt so weird; it was so unlike a dream. It was vivid, every color was bright and clear and swathed with shades and shadows. Every feeling in his heart and mind was palpable and almost tangible, as if he could reach out and grab these feels and hold onto them forever. He wanted to hold onto the feels forever, they were so gentle and soft and he felt so safe holding them. Whatever feels they were, they were for Gamzee, and only being so close to the man brought on these feelings.

Actually, he could still feel them if he just thought about it. With his fingers he clenched his chest and glared at particularly nothing. It was only because Gamzee kissed him and it was his first kiss. He hardly thought it was because he harbored romantic feelings for the man. It was just a natural response, nothing more.

…Or perhaps the kiss was like opening a floodgate, and all the feelings came flowing out and filling him. Whatever the reason, he really didn't want to dwell on it. It was tightening his chest uncomfortably and causing him to feel very confused. He shuffled off the bed and into his wheelchair. After answering the call of nature he didn't really bother changing into clean clothes yet. He instead just rolled to his computer in nothing more than his boxers and turned it on.

He checked some sites with a mundane sigh. He answered some messages, commented here and there, read updates of web-comics he followed… It was all boring though, and only took about an hour of the morning up. He checked pesterchum, seeing if anybody was online. Aradia was, like usual, and a few other people he didn't really talk to. He eyes, however, train on one name it particular; _terminallyCapricious _wasn't online. His lips dropped into a frown and his eyes narrowed a little. It was no surprise that his lethargic friend wasn't online. Tavros had learned the man loved sleep and usually slept into the afternoon on weekends or if he didn't have to go to the school. So instead he opened up FLARP and began playing.

He joined up with Aradia at one point and began going on missions with him. He managed to level up after a few hours of solid playing, and got some cool items as well. A smirk arched up on his face as his eyes remained glued on the screen. For some ungodly reason though, as he waited for a major enemy to show up, his mind slowly drifted off.

"_I gotta say… You're really motherfuckin' adorable."_

He did his best to ignore the feel of heat in his cheeks as he pushed his head forward and stared so intensely at the screen it hurt.

_ "You make me feel weird all up in my heart and think-pan…"_

_ Don't think about that, Tavros_, He told himself inwardly and stubbornly as his eyes narrowed into slits of concentration. He wasn't seeing anything on his screen, though, and sounds of a battle were distant, even though they were blaring from his computer's speakers.

_"Tavbro, I didn't motherfuckin' tell you that so you could freak out."_

Well he _was_ freaking out. Even if he was told that last night, his heart was _still _racing.

_ "I told you that so I could ask if I could motherfuckin' kiss you."_

_Kiss. Kiss me, _He thought as he put a hand to his face and nervously hid it from prying eyes that didn't exist. God, his palms felt sweaty again. Why, out of all the times, was he thinking about it now? He should be using his avatar to battle his enemy alongside Aradia's avatar, not sitting here thinking about… Thinking about this. Gamzee's face appeared in his mind's eye; that tender, lazy smile on his lips, stretching almost inhumanly wide as he leaned in for another kiss, and those hands that didn't even stray.

He hadn't been trying to make Tavros nervous, nor pressuring him. His hands remained innocent, and his tongue remained in his mouth. Tavros wasn't sure what he would do if Gamzee had tried to invade his mouth or touched him anywhere aside from his hand, or the soft caress of his arms around his torso. Just the memories made his face light up and his heart flutter uncomfortably. he wasn't sure he could handle Gamzee's hands spraying to a more sensitive part of his body... Grumbling, he rubbed his chest where his heart was. He could almost feel it through flesh and fabric; it was beating harder. When he felt the memory of those lips on his, he swore it managed to drum with even more vigor.

…God damn, he was just a gelatinous pile of feels at the moment, and he couldn't help it. He probably couldn't type if he wanted to, which he kind of needed to at the moment because somebody began pestering him. He pulled himself from his daydream and minimized FLARP only to open the pesterchat. He had guiltily hoped it was Gamzee, but his hope fell when a different user appeared.

**-apocalypseArisen [AA] began pestering adiosToreador[AT]—**

AA: tavr0s y0u realize

AA: you caused us t0 die in flarp

AT: uH, i DID?

AA: yes. in case you didn't n0tice y0u suddenly st0pped fighting and my character had t0 g0 at it al0ne

AA: there is a p0int t0 teams

AT: oH, uHH, sORRY ABOUT THAT,,,

AT: i GUESS i SPACED OUT,

AA: space 0ut

AA: y0u d0nt usually d0 that 0_0

AA: i am surprised

AT: eR, i DIDN'T MEAN TO,

AT: wE CAN CONTINUE IF YOU WANT,

AA: n0, that is 0kay

AA: i have t0 leave s00n anyway

AT: rEALLY, tHAT IS, oKAY i GUESS,

AT: wHY?

AA: s0llux is c0ming t0 pick me up

AT: oH, oKAY,

AT: hE'S YOUR, uHH, bOYFRIEND, rIGHT?

AA: yeah

AA: he's taking me to a m0vie and then we are g0ing t0 stay at his h0use f0r the night

AT: oH, i, sEE

AT: i HOPE YOU TWO, uH, hAVE FUN, }:)

AA: thanks but i am n0t g0ing yet

AA: still have a few minutes

AA: wanna talk ab0ut why y0u were spacing 0ut

AA: never have you spaced 0ut in the middle 0f playing bef0re with0ut a veryg00d reas0n

AA: i am very much aware 0f y0ur gaming skills

AA: i kn0w h0w g00d y0u are and i kn0w you arent easily distracted especially against the kind of enemy we were up against

AT: uHHH,,,

AT: ,,,,,,,,

AA: w0w n0w im c0nvinced there is s0mething wr0ng

AT: (dAMN IT,)

AT: iT'S NOT ANYTHING TO,

AT: uHH,,,,

AT:,,, wORRY OVER

AA: this w0un't have anything to d0 with Gamzee w0uld it

AT: wHY WOULD YOU, uH, aSK

AT: tHAT?

AA: because y0u have been talking a0out him a l0t lately

Meanwhile, in front of his computer Tavros slapped himself in the face and cursed his mouth, or rather, his hands, for telling Aradia about Gamzee. He didn't even remember what he said now, but it was probably along the lines of him being excited about making a new friend. His fingers returned to the keyboard.

AT: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,mAYBE,

AA: ah i see

AA: did s0mething happen

AT: s,,, sORTA

AT: i MEAN, lIKE I SAID IT ISN'T IMPORTANT, aT ALL,

AT: iT'S JUST ME BEING, kIND OF

AT: sTUPID,

AA: /raised eyebrows

AA: stupid

AT: yEAH,

AA: h0w

AT:,,,,,,,jUST

AT: i DON'T KNOW

AT: ,,,,sEE HE KISSED ME, aND, wELL,,,,

AA: wait wait he kissed y0u

AT: ,,,,,,,,,,yEAH

AT: iS THAT, wEIRD?

AA: just didn't expect y0u t0 be gay 0r swung that way

AT: wELL THAT IS, uHH, tHE ISSUE

AT: sORT OF,

AT: i DON'T KNOW,

AT: iT's CONFUSING,,,

AT: aLL OF MY FEELINGS ARE DOING SOME, wEIRD, rOLLER COASTER THING,,,

AA: well did y0u kiss him back

AT: i DON'T KNOW,

AA:?

AA: h0w d0 y0u n0t kn0w

AT : wELL, uHHH, i WANTED TO,,,,,,,,,

AT: i,,,,,,,,

AT: i DIDN'T KNOW HOW,,,,

AA: 0_0

AT: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

AA: well 0kay

AA: but if y0u wanted t0 kiss him back then that means s0mething th0ugh right

AT: i GUESS,,,,,

AT: i HAVE UHHH, nEVER SPECULATED ABOUT MY, uMMM,, sEXUALITY,

AA: it c0mes as n0 surprise

AA: y0u never t00k my advances

AT: wHAT?

AA: n0thing tavr0s

AA: anyway if y0u wanted to kiss him I think that means y0u like him

AT: iT'S CONFUSING ME, a LOT,

AA: I am sure y0u will figure it 0ut

AA: anyway s0llux is here

AT: oH, oKAY,,,

AT: tHANKS FOR LISTENING,

AA: anytime tavr0s

AT: bYE, }:o)

AA: that is a strange smilie

AT: oOPS, pICKED UP THE, uHH, hABIT,

AA: 0kay 0_0

AA: bye bye

**-apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased pestering adiosToreador[AT]—**

He groaned and took his fingers off the keyboard. That was one of his more embarrassing moments. He wasn't sure what Aradia would react worse to, him being kissed by another guy or him not being able to kiss back because he didn't know _how_.

He sat back in his wheelchair for a few minutes staring at nothing in particular. It was sometime in the early afternoon, and he still hadn't bothered to get washed or dressed. His back was beginning to stick to the back of his wheelchair from nervous perspiration, so he decided, yes, it was time to clean himself up and pretend he actually had a life and had to go somewhere.

Tavros rolled into the small bathroom that he shared with the guest room and filled the bathtub up with hot water before slipping into the small tub and washing himself. When he was finished, he sat himself on the edge of the tub, dried himself, got dressed all awkwardly in a t-shirt and some long pants. Even if he was home and had no reason to cover up the fact he had no legs, it was a habit engraved in him. He returned to his room about an hour all cleaned up.

He returned to his computer moments later and went online to search for something. He grinned when he found it, and he leaned in close and began to read.

* * *

><p>His mouth was curved downwards in a pettish frown as he watched his lizard dart around in his cage. He figured he had enough knowledge now but thinking about it was making him feel unwell. He didn't want to screw up his plans for Gamzee, but the sheer amount of nervousness coursing through him was ridiculous. He resorted in distracting himself with his lizard, which was looking at him now. Unfortunately, it didn't work as a good distraction; he just kept staring and staring with his mind wondering elsewhere.<p>

_What if he doesn't like it?_

_But he wanted it!_

_What if he changed his mind in the last 24 hours?_

_Jesus Christ, Tavros, stop being stupid, _he scolded himself. The voice in his head kept going around in endless circles. Ever since he got off the computer from his search with a slight blush on his cheeks and frown on his lips he'd been thinking nonstop.

Sighing, he put his hand into the tank and pulled the little thing from its cage and put it on his bed. He thought the thing deserved a little freedom at least because he knew what it was like to not have freedoms. He watched the reptile dart from here to there, hiding under the blanket and climbing to the top of the pillow. It finally ended up on the bedside table and settled under the lamp. This wasn't surprising to Tavros in the least, and he grinned as he watched it for a few minutes before returning to his computer.

He noticed, then, that a certain name was displayed as online. The grin returned to his face and he instantly double-clicked the name to bring up a conversation box.

**-adiosToreador[AT] began pestering terminiallyCapricious [TC]-**

AT: hEY, bROTHER

TC: hEeEeEeEy.

TC: YoU uSeD 'bRoThEr', hEhEhE :o)))

AT: i DID, yOU, uHHH, aLWAYS REFER TO ME AS, sUCH,

AT: sOOO, i FIGURED i COULD CALL YOU, iT, tOO,

TC: hAhAhA, sOuNdS mOtHeRfuCkIn cOoL, bRo.

AT: sO HOW ARE YOU, tODAY,

TC: i JuSt WoKe Up AcTuAlLy. i WoKe Up On ThE fLoOr ThOuGh BecAuSe JoHn AnD kArKaT tOoK tHe cOuCh.

AT: oh, i AM SORRY,,

TC: jUsT a LiTtLe PaIn AlL Up In My NeCk No WoRrIeS.

TC: yOu aLl wIcKeD bItChTiTs?

AT: uH, yES, wICKED BITCHTITS INDEED,

TC: sWeEeEeEeEt, mOtHeRfUcKeR :o) hOnK

AT: dO YOU WANT, tO COME OVER?

TC: hErE iN A lItTlE bIt.

TC: honk

TC: i NeEd To RuN HoMe FiRsT aNd GeT sOmE mEdIcInE.

AT: oH, aRE YOU SICK,

TC: nOt ReAlLy.

TC: iT's HARD tO eXpLaIn.

TC: i WiLl Be THeRe In a HaLf aN hOuR, oKaY LiTtLe DuDe?

TC: aNd ThEn We CaN dO sTuFf. ;o)

AT: hAHAHAHA, yEAH, sTUFF }:)

TC: sEe yOu ThEn, bRoTheR.

TC: bYe

TC: hOnK :o)

AT: bYE,

**-adiosToreador[AT] ceased pestering terminiallyCapricious [TC]—**


	14. Chapter 14

_**Welp, sorry about the late update. Two nights ago I was stuck in time and space and I was just floating there thinking what the hell do I write because I couldn't come up with any words so then I said fuck it and read fanfictions until I passed out. Th**__**en yesterday I got a new computer (I went from a PC to a mac) and it's hard to work like what is this and that and those over there. Also when I was editing it on the doc manager (since I don't have word anymore) and I did something weird and backspaced and lost everything so I pretty much ragequit'd for the night.**_

_**Anyway, long A/N, I will continue with the chapter.**_

_**...Well it's already long so I will take the time to say thank you lovely moirail/editor, ~listlessdark for all the editing she's done. /hearts and diamonds**_

_**Also thank you all the favoriters, reviewers and alerters. I love getting feedback, especially long feedback/critiques.**_

* * *

><p><strong><em> At Fault: Chapter 14<em>**

**_Have you ever done anything so stupid it released the floodgates on everything else?_**

Tavros allowed himself to sigh as he stared at the previous conversation he had with his lethargic friend. He just said he was sick, which was worrying. He seemed fine last night. In fact, Tavros recalled once that Gamzee assured him (because he was fussing over a few coughs and sniffles) that he never got things like colds or flus very easily. He frowned and bit at his lip instinctively and the familiar tang of blood hit his tongue; maybe since Gamzee was sick he wasn't serious last night. That thought, much to his guilt, worried him even more that the previous one. The young man was a fool believing Gamzee was anything other than joking or... Hallucinating in a sickened state. It would be so easy to have his mind in a haze and for him to mistake Tavros for a few minutes as somebody he actually wanted to be romantic with. So easy to smile and grin and whisper those sweet words while leaning in and being so sincere...

_Tavros you're being crazy, _he thought to himself stubbornly as he forced the thoughts from his mind.

However, a previous piece of the conversation did confuse him: the small wink face ";o)". That both worried him and confused him quite a bit. A wink face implied many things; many, many things that Tavros wasn't entirely sure he desired. Or if he did desire it, it wasn't entirely obvious yet. He was a (mostly) grown man for pete's sakes! Of course he would want that! He just... Didn't want to think about it right now or anything. He wasn't sure if Gamzee was into _that_ stuff...

Tavros's mouth twitched downwards and he mentally smacked himself square in the face.

Gamzee was a twenty-one year old man; of course he would be into that stuff!

...The thought of that made Tavros's cheeks light up and his eyes widen a little. He forced back any images that came forth in his mind of Gamzee doing such things as that. His face felt like it was on fire as he tried desperately to rid himself of the pictures and thoughts. Right now really wasn't the time to be thinking about it since said men would be here soon anyway. Tavros really didn't want the lethargic man to walk in on him fantasizing about anything along that sort of thing, especially when it involved him.

Shaking his head he brought on different thoughts. He was thinking about if Gamzee was really okay. He remembered Gamzee saying something about medicine in the past but it didn't quite register. His fingers scratched at his chin as he thought at his desk. What was he sick with? The flu, maybe? No... It had to be something consistent. Something like a prescribed pill or something of a similar nature.

Also what caught his attention was that he was very much aware that Gamzee used alternate cases whenever he wrote (for some strange reason he didn't know why nor did he ask) but when he said 'honk' it was in lowercase. It bothered him a little bit because never once had he seen Gamzee switch away from his typing style. He quickly brought up the window of their conversation and scrolled up to that spot. Everything around it was alternate case except for that specific 'honk'. How strange.

Well, looks like he'll just have to ask Gamzee when he got here. But for now, he should probably tidy his room or wait downstairs. Better things to be done then musing over things he could just get the answer to with a simple question.

He rolled backwards, away from his desk, only to hear a sickening crunch. He cringed, figured it was just one of his glass marbles he left lying around his room floor alongside the playing cards. Sometimes the man would roll over them by accident and cause a mess of colorful shards. When he glanced down, however, his blood turned icy. That was no marble.

It was his _lizard._

Tavros was quiet and unmoving for a few seconds as he just gazed at the lizard who was half under his wheel. A curtain of pure shock came on him before he flung himself from the chair onto the floor in an over-dramatic manner. Tavros pushed his wheelchair off with ease and gathered the small animal up in his hands. Its body was cold, obviously, but it was completely lifeless and unmoving as well. The green and orange head hung limply from the body and it was obviously its poor neck was snapped in half by Tavros's wheel.

He snapped its neck in half.

He did.

His own pet.

….The lizard dropped from his hands onto the floor again. It landed with a soft, dead thud.

And then he broke down there and then.

The tears were evident and came down like a miniature waterfall.

_-Young Tavros was only about nine when he went out into the backyard for some fresh air. His mother's death was still a very fresh wound. He took sancuary around the wildlife; birds chirped and small critters riffled around the long grass. Tavros rolled out into the center of the backward. He was still too weak to travel very far. Movement however caught his eye, and despite his weariness he sped over to the movement. It was a small lizard of green and orange colors. A strange look, almost unnatural. It was cold outside that day and young Tavros recalled a lesson in class about how reptiles can't survive on their own in cold weather. He dropped the poor thing on his lap and sped into the house. His father was still a very quiet and somber man back then. His wive's death still hung heavily on his shoulders. Young Tavros came in crying how the little creature would die if he didn't get a heating lamp or somewhere warm. After much blubbering and begging his dad out of the blue allowed Tavros to take care of it. Tavros was thrilled, however, he never named it.-_

He knew the little guy was old and that he would die soon. He'd always been a little sickly and very inactive, but… It still hurt.

"_Why didn't I watch where I was rolling_?" He snarled furiously to himself as he dug his palms into his eyes until it hurt in a vain attempt to stop the waterworks. They didn't stop. He just kept sobbing until he thrust his head from his hands and glared at the wheelchair. He glared and glared as if his gaze would cause the wheelchair to explode into a thousand pieces.

"This is _your_ fault." Tavros rasped at the chair, for once enraged. If he had legs then he wouldn't be in this mess. He wouldn't have to use a wheelchair, therefore his lizard would be alive. He would be happy with friends and a family and legs.

_…but it's his fault he had no legs._

That thought didn't help Tavros whatsoever. In a short fit of rage he whipped around to the wheelchair and shoved it hard with both his hands. It went rolling back and crashed into the wall. Some of the white paint probably chipped off but he didn't care. He wasn't even looking at it as it hit the wall. Instead he put his eyes against his eyes again as he rested his head against the side of his bed and grossly hiccuped.

How did the little guy even get on the floor? Maybe slipped off the side of the bedside table? And why was he behind his _wheel? _That couldn't be a coincidence. No. Stuff like that didn't just happen. Tavros was saddened, enraged and beyond frustrated all at the same time. Mostly saddened though; that explaining his endless tears. It was giving him a headache. And it _hurt._

It's always his fault. His fault for everything.

_Everything._

Venom dripped as he said the previous word in his head.

And then he cried some more.

* * *

><p>Gamzee found him curled up on the floor. He laid on his side with his hands burrowed in his criss-crossed arms. That face Gamzee knew was hidden from view and he couldn't help but sluggishly frown.<p>

Gamzee just let himself into the house like any other self-respecting citizen. Mostly because he didn't want his little bro to travel all the way down the stairs to let him in. But now he cocked his eyebrows upwards and swayed to and fro unsteadily on his feet. The previously mentioned little bro was on the floor and all curled up for some reason. What happened within the last half hour that caused poor Tavros to be a blubbering mess on the floor?

His footsteps were measured as he crossed the small room and plopped down clumsily onto the floor. He swayed a bit again before reaching over and taking the amputee up in his arms and tugged him close to his chest. Tavros didn't move; he just lay limp in his grasp. The only movement was the very slow rise and fall of his back that confirmed strained breaths.

Gamzee didn't say anything and neither did Tavros. Gamzee, naturally, was curious to the situation but he had a feeling that now wasn't the time to ask Tavros what was wrong. Now was the time to be there for his little bro while he wasn't feeling well. Gamzee had to ponder what the motherfuck happened to this poor kid though in such a short time frame.

The thought of something or somebody hurting Tavros made Gamzee frown and hold him tighter. He felt a little cold, perhaps from laying on the floor, but that was still worrying. Gamzee adjusted Tavros wordlessly until he sat on his lap with his head in Gamzee's shirt. He still hadn't seen the amputee's face yet which bothered him. Was something the matter with his face? Was he crying? Man, that wasn't cool. Tavros shouldn't be crying; his face was better when it was smiling. That adorable upwards arch of his lips and bright eyes that were filled with laughter and timidness made Gamzee's day hundred times over.

Gamzee rested his hand on Tavros's back and used his fingers to draw slow circles along his shoulders and spine in a hopefully calming and soothing manner. His other hand rested on Tavros's head; digits entwining in his Mohawk and his thumb massaging his scalp. Tavros's body was so addicting to touch for Gamzee, and if not given the situation his hands would have strayed to more intimate areas.

When Tavros finally spoke up it was muffled from his shirt but Gamzee could still hear it:

"…I… I-I'm useless."

Gamzee pursed his lips, trying to think of something past his twirling mind, "No, no, no, nooooo you're not bro."

Tavros shuddered, "E-everything's my fault."

"Nooooooooo, it's not." He drawled out, trying to keep his voice firm despite the overlapping of haze, "Don't ever motherfuckin' blame yourself."

Tavros was quiet for a few minutes. Gamzee wondered if he had fallen asleep or something, but then he shifted a little, "…Y-you smell weird." He observed in a quiet voice.

The man grinned a hide, toothy grin and said, "I smell like a Gamzee." He giggled.

Tavros was silent again. Very hestitaintly though, his arms drew around Gamzee's torso and the older man found himself being hugged. The poor teenager was trembling; his fingers were quivering uncontrollabley and Gamzee still had yet to see his face. Tavros's face dug deeper into his shirt, but despite it the older man still heard the sentence that was lined with despair:

"…I-I hate n-not having legs." Tavros said so pathetically and miserably his heart split.

Gamzee frowned and looked down at the top of Tavros's head.

"I-I wish I didn't have my w-wheelchair." Tavros went on, his voice growing a bit louder with hopelessness, "I-I wish I had legs. I-I wish I could walk, then maybe I wouldn't be u-useless."

He shook his head as if Tavros could see him,"Not useless, brother. Legs are overrated, yo. All you motherfuckin' do with them is walk."

"A-and a lot of other things." Tavros argued stubbornly.

"What we're doin' right now doesn't involve legs."

Silence.

"Come on, motherfucker. I know youuu're a good person." He slurred, "Not motherfuckin' useless no matter what motherfucker says so. You shouldn't let no motherfucker tell you you're useless, because you know fuckin' what?" Gamzee carried on in a very slow manner, "You're one of the greatest motherfuckers I've ever met. You're motherfuckin' wicken at your games, like fuckin' whoa, you beat me every time, bro!" His hand crept out of Tavros's hair only to trail his jawline and grab at his chin. Gamzee moved Tavos's face from his shirt so he could get a good look at that face. His cheeks where flushed from a combination of being flustered and crying, as well as his eyes were bloodshot. They widened as Gamzee smiled widely and not unkindly. He continued, "Plus I know you are fucking bro with animals. I mean shit, that's not useless. So what you don't have motherfuckin' legs? You're no less of a fuckin' person. If anything, it makes all wicked strong. If anything you're like..." Gamzee paused, trying to find a word in his twirling, disoriented mind.

"...Like a fucking _miracle_ or some shit. Yeah, you're my motherfuckin' little miracle."

Tavros's eyes widened eve more at his words. They turned away, but his face was glued to the spot by Gamzee's hand firmly grasping his chin. Gamzee really wished this little bro wasn't so nervous about everything, as endearing as it was...

Finally Tavros spoke up in a nearly inaudible voice, "G-Gamzee."

"What is it, Tavbro?"

The younger man looked like he was trying despertely to say something. His mouth was pursed in a thin, flat line and his eyes refused to meet Gamzee's. It was a quiet moment between them for many moments. Gamzee started getting stiff in the arm and his legs were falling asleep from having Tavros sit on them; but he remained in one spot and searched Tavros's face with glazed-over eyes.

"...C-can..." Tavros finally said, "Can... Uh... er.. G-Gamzee... Can you..." His voice became very hushed, "k-kiss me again?"

Gamzee grinned, "if that's what you want?"

There was a hesitant but evident and shaky nod.

"Thought I motherfucker would never ask..."

Gamzee tilted Tavros's head up more and instantly had his lips on Tavros's.

* * *

><p>Tavros felt a pressure on his lips. It was a very soft and reassuring pressure. Gamzee's moist lips gently caressed his and he leaned into the feeling. He allowed his body to get closer as he tried to press a little harder. Perhaps he took Gamzee by surprise, perhaps he didn't. He did know, however, that this feeling was pure brilliance. Especially now that he knew what he was doing.<p>

He leaned into it and kissed back the best he good. He spent a good amount of hours earlier just reading selections online and finding out how to kiss. It was a little pathetic maybe but he wanted to do his best for Gamzee. He hoped and prayed as he twisted his fingers through Gamzee's hair that he was doing something right.

He needed to prove that he could do something, anyway. Making Gamzee happy was something to prove.

It seemed all the previous feelings of forlorn and despair were dissipating, or at least, being covered up by a thick rug. A thick rug made of Gamzee's words and his gentle hands resting against his cheek and back, and the gentle caress of his lips that made Tavros shudder.

Although as the kiss deepened Tavros felt something a little strange; Gamzee's mouth opened and for a moment he felt a flash of surprise by this. When he felt a wet tongue drawl over his lips he drew backwards with a squeak, He wasn't expecting that, and if Gamzee was implying what he thought he was then he certianly wasn't ready to add tongues.

"You okay, Tavbro?" Gamzee asked in a slightly worn voice as he tipped his head and watched him with unfocused eyes.

"I-I... Y-yeah... just, uh...?"

Gamzee licked his lips slowly, "I'm sorry, Tavbro. My mind motherfuckin' slipped there for a minute..." He scratched his head and looked in the distance as if he had no clue. Well, he didn't, really.

Tavros sighed and allowed his head to drop down om Gamzee's shoulder. He might have taken more of an interest and surprise in the position he and Gamzee were in if he didn't have that depressive feeling scratching at the back of his head. It didn't want to leave, even if the metaphorical rug was trying to cover it up. it still scratched at the floorboards and walls of his brain, trying to overcome him. it was more than bothersome, and he wondered if another kiss from Gamzee would rid him of it.

...He really shouldn't push it. His heart was already doing some crazy stuff at the moment. He didn't need anything more. He settled with his face pressing into Gamzee's strange smelling shoulder. It was an unrecognizable smell that seemed to calm him with each inhale. Every breath got longer and more drawled and his brain grew fuzzy with tired.

"...Tavbro?"

"Uhh... y-yeah...?" He murmured in question.

"You motherfuckin' okay, bro?"

"...S-sort of..." He half-lied. He was feeling okay than he was for sure, thanks to the older man that held him now.

He could hear the smile in Gamzee's voice as he replied:

"...Motherfuckin' miracles, then."


	15. Chapter 15

**_At Fault: Chapter 15_**

Time had a tendency to go really fast sometimes. Already several months had passed and it seemed so much lesser than that. Each day slipped by and Tavros kept up with his daily mundane routine; wake up, go to school, go home, and then either one: roleplay or two: do something with Gamzee. The two never overlapped because Tavros found out that Gamzee couldn't roleplay for his life. He had to suppress bursts of giggles when he watched the older man struggle with defeating the simplest of enemies. So, they just stuck with the pixely N64 and going out. Tavros wasn't entirely sure of what their relationship was. Were they boyfriends, or just friends? It was difficult to tell, but they had to be something, because they kissed often.

Tavros never let it let it pass kissing though. He could barely even handle cuddling because it caused him to be so flustered. It had always been a peck on the cheek or lips after Gamzee asked. He always asked, which Tavros was thankful for. Of course, that never did last long. About a month or two after their first kiss, Gamzee was being spontaneous as he sometimes was. Well, always was. He could be unpredictable because he always had an impassive face on; the only emotion was usually a wide, thin smile. He just up and planted a kiss on his lips one day without consent. Tavros had a habit of being taken by surprise by many things, and this particular thing called him to be endlessly startled. A blush had covered his face and he was glancing away trying to say something, (which came out very unintelligible), while Gamzee sat there, nodding, and calling him adorable.

That wasn't to say Tavros didn't like them.

But he had been very confused.

What Tavros liked, though, was that Gamzee never pushed him. It probably took a remarkable amount of patience, even for Gamzee. He had never taken it a step further, never let his hands trail to more intimate places or slipped his tongue in for intense make-outs.

The only instance that Gamzee took it further was the beginning of summer. It was the night before Tavros left for his old town where he spent every summer with his dad and his grandparents. If living with his dad was bad enough, it was worse living with his grandfather as well. The evening he and Gamzee were chilling on his bed watching TV, which was airing some stupid show that can't be bothered to be remembered now. Tavros lay on the edge of his bed on his stomach like usual while Gamzee propped himself up on the headboard. At some point, Gamzee had shuffled forward out of his spot and laid down alongside Tavros. At first the younger man didn't notice. It was only when Gamzee grabbed his chin gently and turned his face did he noticed how close the older man had been.

From the beginning Tavros noticed this kiss was deeper. Gamzee was pressing hard; his lips almost rolled and moved against Tavros's. He had been very close as well; his legs brushing against Tavros's and their torsos pressing close. Tavros remember feeling the beating of his heart as Gamzee wrapped his arms around the young man and pulled him gently on top of him. The intimate position had freaked Tavros out initially, but he had had no time to think before Gamzee's tongue managed to push its way into Tavros's mouth.

He was startled by this alien presence in his mouth. It felt sort of strange; he remembered shivers and trembles as he let Gamzee explore his mouth for a few moments. But he couldn't handle it; it was too much. Especially considering his hands had been on his hips then. He pushed Gamzee away, claiming he wasn't sure if he was ready for that.

He swore he had seen a flash of disappointment in his impassive eyes. But he just smiled a toothy smile and nuzzled him on the neck saying he was willing to wait. It was was almost innocent again, if not for Tavros's own mind. After he felt that tongue in his mouth, he wanted more.

Being a ma,n (if you consider eighteen being a man. He turned eighteen in mid-may), his hormones tended to have a say in more uncontrollable things, like dreams. He dreamed of a sloppy make-out first. He could never quite remember details, like how to properly make out, how he retaliated with his touches and kisses, only that there was always a frenzy of hands running down his body and a pleasant feeling running through him. For a while, the first few weeks anyway, it had never exceeded that.

His first wet dream took him by surprise, and embarrassment.

He had woken up in a puddle of his own mess. It had been about mid summer when that first dream occurred.

Ever since, those dreams had become almost like a regular occurrence. They were fuzzy when he woke up; he only remembered Gamzee's face grinning at him with lust, a moan in his ears, whether it was his or Gamzee's, he could never tell. He just knew it was loud and that it echoed in his ears, even in the waking world.

He had been thankful for his grandmother there. She kept quiet and changed and replaced his sheets in the early morning hours before his grandpa or father awoke. She had always been far kinder to him than any other family member. She always said it wasn't his fault that his mother died, that it was an accident. Although she wasn't as kind to him as she was when he was a child, she was still like an oasis of friendliness in a desert of anger and disregard.

His grandpa, on the other hand, was very different. He was far less forgiving than even his own dad, and constantly brought tavros down anytime he got the chance. Tavros never gave him the chance though. He stayed outside in their large backyard with their dogs, or made trips to the graveyard. If his father wasn't there.

His father visited the graveyard almost daily. Tavros always made sure to avoid him as he wheeled his way the short distance to the cemetry. He had always halted his wheelchair right at the headstone and spoke gently to his mother about things in general. He found his favorite subject was his friends. He spoke of Nepeta, Aradia, Jade... And Gamzee. At first, he had been hesitant sharing to his mother about Gamzee. He was worried he would offend her or something.

"He's a great guy, Mom," Tavros would say. He always had a frown on his face when he spoke to his mother, for obvious reasons. "A bit slow maybe but... So nice. He doesn't care about my, uh, condition..." Tavros smiled as Gamzee came to mind. He never smiled around his mother's headstone in all the years that they visited, but...

"Hey, Mom, I think you'd like him. H-he's really calm and chill... and so... w-wicked! M-maybe... Maybe you could meet him one day?" Tavros had suggested with an even wider grin.

Then the grin fell to a much smaller, content smile, "M-maybe... Maybe someday soon, okay Mom?"

He found, after that, he had talked about Gamzee much more. It felt silly, talking to a grave, but it was a childhood habit since the first summer he and his father came back to their home town to spend the summer on vacation.

_Tavros, age eight, wasn't a strong boy. He had fallen into a depression that didn't last long, but still took a toll. His father noticed, but never helped. Tavros wasn't hungry, so he never ate. Nights were riddled with nightmares about his mom, which left him very tired. His recently amupitated legs left him with nubs that made him self-conscious. He couldn't go to school because it was too hard to move in a wheelchair for him. His arms were thin and bony, and every rib jutted out. He had no muscles or fat, and he was always tired. At the age of eight and a half, he had bags under his eyes and he cried almost every night in the sanctuary of his room. _

_His grandma and grandpa invited him and his dad to stay with them for the summer. His grandma still had trouble forgiving him back then, and the only thing pushing her kindness was pity and a motherly instinct. One afternoon when he sat in his wheelchair and stared lifelessly out the window, she invited him into her car. Unknowing of where they were going, he still nodded. A few minutes later they were at the cemetery, and Tavros was surprised at their location. He hadn't been here since the funeral. His grandmother guided him through the graveyard to his mother's grave, then walked away to allow for some privacy. _

_Young Tavros had nothing to say to his mother at first. He just stared and stared at his mother's name written on the grave marker. _

_Then he cried, like always. But this time he said sorry. He cried and cried. In between the hiccups and the gross sobs he wailed 'I'm sorry' over and over. He said how 'Dad said it was his fault I killed you', 'I'm sorry', 'So sorry...' 'Forgive me, Mom'._

_He had never cried so hard before, not even at the funeral. Everything just came out. He probably cried for hours. Just a child sobbing over the death of his mother. _

_When he stopped, though, and his grandmother came to get him, he slept better that night. No nightmares came, and in the morning he was starving. He ate lots of pancakes with sugar on them, and insisted his grandmother take him back to the grave. Unlike the previous day, though, he just sat there and talked every once and a while. It was surprisingly calm, and from that day he did it every day while he was on vacation. Or, as often as he could._

Tavros didn't think it was crazy, but perhaps other people did. Anybody passing by seeing him talk to the grave gave him strange looks. He had never cared though, he just continued on talking. It was a bit cliché perhaps, but Tavros didn't mind. Because this wasn't just some story or movie, it was real. During this time he didn't even get on his phone's pesterchum app, even when it vibrated in his pocket signaling that he was getting a message.

It was the only good part about this annual summer vacation, even though it was a little sad. He could say everything with barely a stutter; he was never nervous or lacking self-confidence. He just... Talked. His mom wasn't listening, obviously, but Tavros liked to think she was.

Summer had went by pretty fast, as well. It was already nearing the end. Tavros spent many afternoons in the cemetary. He spent evenings on his phone and watching TV. He couldn't bring his computer, (it was a desktop), so roleplaying was impossible; he was getting a little twitchy by now.

His nights were spent in his dreams.

_"Nghh... G-Gamzee," his voice was hardly more than a quite whine as he took a sharp inhale. Gamzee's hands were doing something along the lines of a miracle... they stroked him and caused him to wriggle and gasp until he was clenching onto Gamzee for dear life. Gamzee just chuckled a reply and ran his fingers expertly along Tavros until he groaned heavily again and flopped his head to one side. Lips were drawn back, and teeth were gritted together as he squeezed his eyes so tightly shut it almost hurt. But knowing he was so close yet so far from finishing was probably more painful... Then it was hot when Gamzee's mouth replaced his hand. So hot and wet, everything was a bag of miracles and then there was a blinding light as he..._

...Woke with a start. Pale dawn light streamed into the guest room where he stayed.

"Tavros, my God," his dad continued to slam his hand on the door, "Get your ass up we have to leave soon; it's a long drive home."

"Uh, okay..." He called back. He didn't get up like he was supposed to though, he just rolled over on his bed, spreading the mess around the sheets and his pajama pants. He was going home today, and he was looking forward to it.


	16. Chapter 16

**_Maybe it's a good thing that I reached my daily post limit on tumblr yesterday. I actually got writing shit done. In fact this chapter is really fucking long like 5,000 words how did that happen welp._**

**_Chapter warning: mild sexual content wooo_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>At Fault: Chapter 16<em>**

Gamzee was frustrated.

Well, as frustrated as a man like him could be. Gamzee wasn't a person to be very frustrated at all most of the time. He was laid-back and very chill naturally. Nothing really irritated him (as long as he didn't go too long without his medicine), and he was never over-dramatic. Granted, certain things did piss him off, but those were rare instances.

It was a hot day, obviously, as it was at the height of summer, and he didn't really feel like wearing anything. He laid on his bed instead, naked as can be. The only thing being worn were his kick-ass cans. He was listening to wicked beats as he did particularity nothing. Life had been a bit boring since Tavros left for the summer. Sure, they texted back and forth, but with his best friend, Karkat, working overtime lately he didn't have a lot of people to hang out with. That wasn't to say he was lacking friends, because that certainly wasn't true. It's just he didn't like hanging around them a lot; he preferred typing to them through IM.

Only, most of said friends were also working right now too at their summer jobs or also going on vacation. Gamzee almost considered getting a job for the summer, but he ended up wasting away each and everyday saying he would leave and look for a summer job but never doing it. So instead he spent a lot of time trying to stay cool in the growing heat.

His phone vibrated and very slowly he reached over and picked it up. It was another message from Tavros. Gamzee grinned as he read the message;

-**adiosToreador [AT] began pestering terminallyCapricious [TC]-**

AT: i JUST, stOPPED VISITING MY MOM'S GRAVE, wE CAN TALK NOW }:)

He felt for Tavros, he really did. The poor guy went to the graveyard almost every day just to visit his mom's grave. It was really unfortunate, and cut him right in the heart. He said he was never really there to mourn though, which surprised and saddened Gamzee. It only meant his little bro was used to the concept of death already, and he was so young. He quickly typed a reply:

TC: tHaT's GrEaT, tAvBrO. Did yOu HaVe A gOoD tImE? :o)

Wait. What motherfucker had a good time at the graveyard? Gamzee inwardly shrugged; Tavros was a strange little bro. He never said he didn't like being at his mother's grave stone.

AT: i GUESS?

AT: rEALLY, uHHH, pEACEFUL,,, i JUST WISHED MY DAD WASN'T THERE, tOO,

AT: sO, uHH, hOW ARE YOU?

AT: nOT TOO, bORED, wITHOUT UHHH, mY PRESENCE HAHA,

TC: yEaH, pReTtY mUcH. :o( hOnK

TC: aLsO iT's HoT As BiTcHtItS aLl uP iN hErE. :o/

AT: dO YOU NOT LIKE, tHE HEAT,

TC: wElL nOt WhEn It'S tHiS mOtHeRfUcKiN hOt... I FeEl LiKe I'M lItErAlLy MeLtInG iNtO a PuDdLe.

AT: }:o(

TC: hEhEhE, yOu StOlE mY nOsE.

AT: hAHAHA, yES, I DID, }:) hONK,

TC: aWwWwWwW sHiT mOtHeRfUcKiN wIcKeD. YoU hOnKeD.

AT: hEHEHEHE, yES, i DID! i THOUGHT IT WAS, uHH, APPROPRIATE, fOR THE SITUATION,

AT: bECAUSE YOU HONKED, eARLIER,

TC: yEaH mOtHeRfUcKeR I dId. I lOvE hOnKiN.

TC: hOnKhOnKhOnK.

TC: hOnKhOnKhOnK.

AT: hEHE, }:)

TC: hEeEeEy, dO yOu KnOw wHeN yOu'Re gEtTiNg BaCk?

AT: uMMMM, uHH,,,

AT: tONIGHT ACTALLY,,,

TC: wHoA, rEaLlY?

AT: yEAH,

TC: yEeEeEs! ThaT's GrEaT, tAvBrO. I'Ll nEeD To ViSiT yOu.

Well, that was something to look forward to, Gamzee guessed. With luck he could see Tavros soon.

There was a knock on his door, and he let out a long, drawled sigh. He barely heard the noise over the sound of his blasting music. Throwing off his headphones, he stood and strode across his room to pull his door open, not really caring that he wore nothing.

His brother slouched there in the doorway looking slightly annoyed like always. His face was twitched forwards in a scowl and his eyes watched him carefully. Long, black, careless hair fell over his eyes and almost touched his shoulders, making his annoyed eyes look even more darker and intimidating.

"Hey, ever heard of pants?" He snorted with disdain as his eyes raked downwards across Gamzee's body.

Gamzee smirked and shrugged, "I could ask the same to you." His brother was wearing clothes now, but normally, if he wasn't with a girl he was passed out naked in the living room or trudging around the house with all his glory.

His eyebrow twitched with annoyance, "Did you pay the rent this month?" He growled.

Gamzee scratched his head and mumbled to himself before replying, "No, I can't say that I have, bro."

"Why?"

"...Well I can't really pay the bills if I don't have a motherfuckin' job, which currently I don't ?" Gamzee suggested slowly in a questioning tone.

His frown deepened. "How the fuck do you expect to pay the rent, then?" he said with a raising voice.

"Man, I dunno. I'm just using the rest of my motherfuckin' money to buy an apartment of my own."

Now his brother looked like he was about to blow a gasket. With gritted teeth and enraged eyes he said in a surprising calm voice, "Why didn't you tell me this before? That you're fucking moving out?"

Gamzee shrugged again, his grin still on his face. "Because I just now motherfuckin' decided," he chuckled, then took a step back and shut the door again.

It was no surprise when his brother barged into the room again. He stormed over and growled angrily at Gamzee. "How to fuck do you expect me to keep the house if you don't pay the fucking rent?"

"Uhhhh..." He tried to think of some solution. "Get a job?" Gamzee suggested with an oblivious blink.

His brother rubbed his face with his hands in exasperation. "I don't get jobs, I don't have the fucking time. How the hell do you expect me to get a job? Huh? _Huh?_"

"Well..." Gamzee began as he scratched at his chin and mused over it for a moment, "You usually go to the motherfuckin' place, and get the motherfuckin' papers, fill them out with information and shit, and then turn the papers in and motherfuckin' wait until you get a call that says 'sup bro I loved your information papers and shit, you should work with us.' And then you say 'aw yeah', and then, motherfuckin' problem solved, and you have a job and yeah."

His brother stared at him very a very long moment, the irritation that came off his body almost palpable "...That is fucking retarded, Gamzee. What the actual shit?"

"I dunno," he shrugged innocently again and gave his brother a confused look. "I don't know how to motherfuckin' make it clearer than that, bro." With that said, he turned around, sauntered on over to his bed and plopped back down into the mess of sheets and pillows. Tavros had messaged him several times in his absense and he quickly began replying.

"Stop sexting your god damn cock-sucking boyfriend and listen to me, you shit-stain. I cant afford this place. You know that."

"Don't be a hater, yo," Gamzee replied. "And why don't you just find an apartment or whatevs instead of his huge ass, fancy house?"

"This isn't a huge ass fancy house!" his brother exclaimed. "We live in the fucking goddamn ghetto. Our mom gave birth to you in the bathtub." For more dramatics he pointed in the direction of said bathtub before storming to the door. "Whatever, you're being a useless motherfucker like usual."

"Whatever you say, Highbutt," Gamzee grinned as he said the old nickname he gave his brother as a child.

"Stop saying that fucking nickname!" he added before slamming the door closed.

Snarking he went back to his phone.

AT: yEAH I'M IN THE UH, cAR RIGHT NOW WITH MY DAD,,,,

AT: uH, wE JUST WERE AT MY MOM'S GRAVE BEFORE LEAVING TOWN, fINALLY,,,,

AT: yEAH SO IT'LL BE COOL WHEN I, uHH, gET HOME, wE CAN,

AT: hANG OUT,,,

AT: }:)

TC: HaHaHaHa YeAh! And mAyBe MaKe OuT a LiTtLe.

AT:,,,,,uMM,,

AT:,,,uH

AT:,,,y,, yEAH!

TC: tHaT's MoThErFuCkIn WiCkEd AnD sHiT tHeN.

TC: oH wAiT mY BrOtHer Is tAlkInG tO Me...

"I said stop texting your boyfriend, I don't want to see your boner." His brother, moments after storming out, came back, looking more flustered and indirectly angry than before.

"You'd know if I had a motherfuckin' boner up in this shit." Gamzee replied with a loud snort.

"Whatever, you sick fuck."

"Hahaaa, I think you're more of the motherfuckin' sick fuck, not me, man."

"I don't go around sucking dicks."

"Aw man don't be a hater-"

"-Gamzee," his brother cut him off, the irritation returning, "I came here to ask for something you annoying little shit."

"What is it, bro?" Gamzee asked as he glanced at his phone again. Tavros had posted even more replies while he was arguing with Highbutt.

"...I need more stuff."

Gamzee, for once, lost the normal smirk on his face. It instead arched into a small frown as he furrowed his eyebrows together in confusion, "No can do bro. I just let you have some last night."

"I motherfucking used it all," his brother explained in a gruff tone.

"I believe saying last night that I was already down to the last few doses," Gamzee groaned loudly and rubbed his face with his hand.

"Come on bro, last time, I'll even pay for the next round."

"With what motherfuckin' money, Highbutt?" Gamzee asked, his voice lined with a growl. Few things actually annoyed him, and one of them was his brother using his medicine for his personal, fucked up shit. "Didn't we all up and have a conversation about you having no money and shit?"

"I'll find the money, man. Come _on." _His brother was begging now, and it was sort of stupid to watch.

Gamzee shook his head, "Fuckin' no, bro. Then I won't have enough for myself."

His brother scowled deeply and fixed him with a furious glare, but he turned around and again left in an air of aggravation. "I'll just fucking search your room or shit later. You can't motherfucking hide it you little.." His voice faded as he got further away from Gamzee's room.

Gamzee returned to his phone once he was sure his brother left.

AT: oKAY,

AT: yEAH, wE CAN,,,,, uH

AT: mAKE OUT AND STUFF,,,,,

AT: iT WILL, bE NICE,

TC: hElLs YeS iT wIlL. :o)

TC: oUr ToNgUeS dOiN tHe mOtHeRfUckIn DaNcE oF mIrAcLeS aNd sHiT.

AT: aND OUR, uH, hANDS

AT: hURMM,,,,, dOING 'WICKED' THINGS

TC: wIiIiIiIcKeD! :oD yEeEeEs, tAvBrO.

AT: I COULD, uHHH,,,,,, mAKE YOU, hONK,,,

TC: hMmHhhm hElL yEs, bRoThEr.

TC: aNd i'Ll gEt YouR mOtHeRfUcKiNg sQuEaK oN.

TC: I cAn sEe yOuR AdOrAbLe aS FuCk FaCe AlL FluShEd aNd sHiT.

AT: ,,,oHH, uHH,,,,

AT: I CaN,,,

AT: kISS YOU REALLY HARD, uNTIL, uHHHH,,,

AT: wELL I WILL KISS YOU,

AT: hARDD,,, uHH,,

AT: uNTIL YOUR LIPS, hURT,,,

AT: hOnK!

TC: iT hUrTs ToO gOoD, tAvBrO. YoUr lIpS aRe ThE tOuCh oF ThE mEsSiAhS On mY SkIn.

AT: oH YEAH, mY LIPS CAN,,, uH

AT: bE ON YOUR, sKIN,,,,

AT: yOUR NECK,,,,

AT: uHH, yOUR SKIN IS SO SOFT,,,

AT: aND SENSITIVE, iSN'T IT,

Gamzee couldn't help but reaching a hand up and stroking his neck. Yeah, it was sensitive, and imagining Tavros licking and sucking at it caused an involuntary shudder.

TC: hElL yEs It Is MoThErFuCkEr

Tc:bUt iT IsN't mY mOsT SeNsItIvE pLaCe. ;o)

AT: I,,,, uHHHHHHH,,,, I

AT: gUESS IT ISN'T,,,,,,,,,,,

AT: bUT I STILL, pREFER YOUR NECK FOR,,, uHH,,, nOW

AT: bECAUSE I LEFT, mARKS ALL OVER IT,,,,

TC: yOu MaRkIn mE bRo?

TC: I cAn mArK yOu ToO.

TC: I WoUlD nIbBle yOuR eAr, TaVbRo

TC: jUsT hArD eNoUgH wHeRe It FeElS GoOd.

AT: I, uHHHH, wOULD PROBABLY,,,,

AT: mAYBE, mOAN AT THAT,,,,

Gamzee read the message in the slow manner he always did, but upon reading it, he tipped his head back and imagined the sound. That adorable as shit Tavros actually moaning caused another shudder he couldn't help. Tavros probably did make the most adorable motherfucking moans and noises, even when they were lustful, just thinking about it went straight to his groin.

TC: yOuR mOaN iS MohErFuCkIn bItChTiTs, TaVbRo.

TC: I wOuLd ProBaBlY dO iT aGaIn JuSt To hEaR iT.

AT: uHHH, I WOULDN'T TRY AND, mAKE IT OBVIOUS,,,,,

AT: bUT IT FEELS TOO NICE TO,,, uHH, nOT DO IT AGAIN,

AT: sO I WOULD, mOAN AGAIN,,,,

TC: mMmMmMmMm

AT: oF COURSE, I WOULD LIKE TO, uHHHH,

AT: hEAR THOSE, uMMM, nOISES FROM YOU, tOO,,,,

AT: sO uhhh,,, um

AT: my haND SLIPPED SORRY, I CANT KEEP DOING THIS WITH MY,,,, dAD IN THE CAR,,,,

TC: tAvBrO aRe YoU GeTtInG hArD?

AT: no

AT: I MEAN,,, nO OF COURSE,,, nOT,,,

Gamzee had the smallest feeling he was lying, but didn't press the matter. He, being alone in his room, had no need to hide his growing boner.

TC: iT's oKaY :o)

Gamzee dropped his phone after he didn't get an immediate reply. He wasn't a man that went out of his way to jack off, but god motherfucking damn, all he can hear now are Tavros's moans in his ears. Sighing, he closed his eyes and imagined Tavros.

_They were having a sloppy make out session; lips rolling, tongues dancing, hands feeling sensually. Everything was moving in sync. Tavros looked disappointed when Gamzee drew back away from his lips. However, that was fixed when Gamzee leaned forward and nipped at the shell of Tavros's hear. He felt Tavros's body quiver, and the hands that were all over Gamzee's body dug deep into his clothing. The larger man was sure to breathe, heavily, straight into Tavros's ear for even better results. Which they were, because he let out a moan and tilted his head to the side._

Gamzee couldn't even stop his mind right now. His imagination was running rampant; he moved his hand carelessly down his own body to the more southern region. He rubbed the sensitive skin around his inner thigh and lower stomach just to tease himself before actually reaching for his dick.

_They were naked now, everything had fast-forwarded. Their clothes have been thrown to unseen places, and now it was just their bodies and their senses. Gamzee could feel Tavros beneath him; his skin was so soft and growing slippery with sweat. His mouth bubbles out the most adorable, lustful sounds. It was _pretty much _indescribable. _

Gamzee's hand found his erection, and he carelessly pumped at it as he hummed lazily. Even the languid man's strokes were slow at first. His fingers closed and yanked over the engorging flesh as his imagination continued to make scenes in his head to add to his boner.

_Tavros was lying on the edge of the bed, his nubs of legs hanging off the end. They were spread to reveal his pucker, which Gamzee was fingering with lube dipped fingers. The noises Tavros was making were so unbelievably amazing, __and it was the only thing Gamzee could hear aside from the slick sound of Gamzee shoving his finger in his entrance and exploring with one digit, two digits..._

Gamzee used his other finger to shove into his own hole. He knew himself strangely well, so immediately he explored and curled his finger just right so he hit his own prostate. It sent a spazz through him, and uncharacteristically he began to pump his cock faster. It was slick and warm beneath his palm as he moved up and down. He added a second digit, and hit the same place again with a jolt of his finger. With that, he let out a pleased sigh.

_Tavros was wriggling now as Gamzee placed his swollen cock again his hole. He never had any intention of hurting the motherfucker, but as a fantasy he took no precautions. His hands on either side of Tavros's cheeks, he spread them so he could see the small, puckered hole. His tip rested just below it, and he moved his hips forward until he was sheathed completely inside..._

His breathing was growing heavier, though he remained pretty silent for the most part, expect for the occasional hefty groan, and sometimes saying Tavros's name. He had a third digit now and he fingered the spot repeatedly until he was seeing the motherfucking stars of space.

_"Tavros, you're so motherfuckin' tight, it's all like fucking fireworks..." Gamzee rasped as he drew his dick out until only his head was hidden in the hole and then moved forward again, his speed a bit increased since the last thrust. And then another, and then another, until he had a rhythm going._

His hips bucked into his own touch as his fingers moved across his precum-sleaked flesh. He was getting closer with every grunt he heard in his head. He could see Tavros's face looking up at him...

_His face was flushed over, and his eyes were half-lidded as he watched Gamzee pump in and out of his entrance. Gamzee knew he hit the spot when Tavros grunted loudly and said his name._

"Aghhh... Tavros... my motherfucker you feel so fucking amazing." Gamzee rasped under his breath, "I never imagined you could feel so hot and tight." His finger moved faster over his cock. He knew he was getting closer...

_He repeatedly hit Tavros's prostate, now. Every hit made the smaller man quiver and almost scream. The screams went right to his cock, sending him over the edge. "G-gamzee..." he moaned breathlessly._

"Tavros..."

_"Nnghh, G-gamzeeeee...!"_

"TaVrOsss- Ahhh!" For once, his voice raised as he came on himself. White ribbons shot from his cock and ended up all over his stomach and torso, and probably on his bed too. He kept pumping and rode out his orgasm to make sure he milked every drop, before dropping his head on his bed and removing his fingers. His wrists ached a little and his body felt limp. Also, he was even hotter than before; swat dotted his body.

For a moment he lay motionless before carefully picking up his phone. He scowled when he ended up getting some leftover cum on it from his fingers, he quickly whipped it off on his bedsheets before replying to the messages that Tavros sent several minutes ago.

AT: I aM UHHH, gONNA NAP A LITTLE BIT,

AT: I DIDN'T GET MUCH, uHHHH,,,, sLEEP, fOR, uHHH, rEAONS,,,

AT: sEE YOU TONIGHT, I GUESS,,,, }:)

-**adiosToreador [AT] ceased pestering terminallyCapricious [TC]-**

TC: alRiGhT bRoThEr. HavE a GoOd sLeEp. :o) hOnK.

** -terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased pestering adiosToreador[AT]-**

* * *

><p>Leaving the car, Gamzee sauntered down the walkway up to Tavros's house. He hadn't been here in a couple of months, but it brought on an almost nostalgic feeling. He knocked on the door, and then leaned against the doorframe, his back pressing against the cold, uncomfortable wood. It took a few moments for somebody to answer the door. When he heard the doorknob click and turn, Gamzee turned himself, spinning his body around a little faster than expected, and almost falling off balance. But rather than a man in a wheelchair, he came face to face with a far older man. Gamzee was tall, so the man was still a little shorter than him. A thin mess of brown hair (of the same shade as Tavros's) laid across his head. Some hairs were lined with silver, betraying his age, which if Gamzee guessed, was in his late forties. This man was probably Tavros's dad- he would sometimes hear him and he caught glimpses but even from hanging with Tavros for months now, he never came face-to-face with him.<p>

"Hello, Mr. Nitram," he drawled out with a lazy smile.

Tavros's father's mouth twitched as he gazed at Gamzee through searching eyes before replying, "Hello. Who would you be? That creepy friend of Tavros's?"

"Ha! Creepy! Good one, motherfucker," Gamzee replied. "And yeah I'm a bro of your son, Tavros. Is he up in his room?"

"Dear God, how _old_ are you? Like twenty-five? Thirty? Can't my son make friends with people from school?"

Gamzee made a face. That seemed kinda rude.. but no need to judge a motherfucker, maybe he was just tired from a day of driving. "Twenty-one actually, and I do go to the motherfuckin' school as a student teacher."

Tavros's dad cocked an eyebrow and continued to look at him with a grouchy sort of skeptical manner, "...What's your name, exactly?"

"Gamzee, bro," He replied. "I heard you guys just got back from a bitchtits vacation, so if it's inconvenient for a motherfucker to visit..."

"-Gamzee!" Tavros's voice shouted from somewhere within the house. By the sound of it, from the 2nd floor. Tavros's dad stood aside and cast an irritated expression at Gamzee as he strode inside.

"Hey, little man!" Gamzee said as he disregarded Tavros's father without a second thought, heading up the stairs faster than he intended, Actually, he was going up the stairs by twos. Tavros sat in his wheelchair just at the top of the stairs. He hadn't changed a bit from the last Gamzee had seen him.

"Uh, hey Gamzee!" Tavros greeted with mirth, but then let out a squeal when Gamzee took him from the under the arms and pulled him up into an awkward hug. He did a languid spin around the small hallway with his friend in his arms.

"Tavvvrosss," Gamzee drawled out, "it's about time you got motherfuckin' back." He drew back so he could see Tavros's face, (which was flushed, but that wasn't a surprise), and put his own nose to Tavros's. "You had a bitchtits time, yeah?"

"Uhh... Y-yeah! K-kind of boring, though," Tavros admitted as he glanced away from Gamzee's eyes.

"Doesn't have to be motherfuckin' boring anymore," Gamzee told him as he carried his little bro into his room and precariously balanced on one leg to close the door with his foot. "It'll be all wicked shit now, Tavbro."

"Ahh.. ha." Tavros laughed, a little nervously, "B-but uh, Gamzee, my wheelchair is out there..."

"Aw, you don't need no motherfuckin' wheelchair, Tavbro. I can be your legs for now."

"Uuuhhh... W-what does that mean...?"

Gamzee gave him a faintly surprised look. "It means exactly what is is, little bro." He plopped down on Tavros's long, disused bed. Tavros was forced to sit on his lap, much to his discomfort. Gamzee didn't like it when he made his little bro uncomfortable. He wanted nothing more than to just snuggle up to the adorable motherfucker, but it always made him beyond nervous and flustered. Which, in a way, was endearing, but it was hard getting him to relax.

"Tell me a bit about it," Gamzee suggested as he shuffled back so he was against the headboard in his normal spot, with Tavros on his lap.

"Ahh... I-it was fun," Tavros's voice shook a bit as he spoke. "My grandma is real nice, a lot of the time. My grandpa, uh... w-well... can be a little mean I guess. B-but I don't mind! He usually, uh, leaves me alone when I visit. And they have lottsa dogs and stuff, s-so, it wasn't all boring." His lips turned downwards in a small scowl, "I couldn't, uh, roleplay at all though..."

Gamzee chuckled, "That must have motherfuckin' sucked for you, bro."

"Y-yeah, but its worth it, because I got to visit my mom again, heh," Tavros replied with a small, nervous giggle.

"Aw, that's even sadder, brother."

"N-not really. I've mostly gotten over it..." Tavros shrugged, though Gamzee had to wonder if he was telling the truth.

"If you don't mind me motherfuckin' asking, Tavbro, how'd she.. well y'know kick the bucket."

For a moment, Tavros's face faltered, and he looked away. His eyebrows were furrowed together as a silence began to stretch between them. Tavros answered, but in a very quiet voice. "She, uh, just... Died in a car accident," he replied in an almost careful tone.

"Aww, man, motherfucker, I'm sorry... Drunk driver or some shit?"

"No, no! Uhh... Just... Er..."

Gamzee noticed Tavros's sudden mood decline and pulled him a little closer. "You don't have to motherfuckin' tell me," he murmured with a lazy grin.

Tavros nodded a bit too seriously, "Okay..."

"You know I hate that motherfucking frown of yours," Gamzee told him as he ran his hand up to the back of Tavros's head. "I like your smile better."

With that said, he planted a long awaited kiss on Tavros's lips. He really missed it after over two months of not being able to be around his bro and damn, wow, Tavros's lips were really motherfucking soft and warm. Tavros probably had been taken by surprise like he usually was, but that did stop him from kissing back. It was nice to feel their lips roll together so naturally. He could just allow his ears to be filled with the sounds of their lips sliding together, and making small smacking sounds on occasion. His hands strayed; the one on Tavros's head pressed a bit harder to force their lips harder together. His other hand, which had been loosely planted on his waist, moved to back to make small, rhythmic circles around the small of his back. Tavros felt a little tense to him, but as he worked his fingers in his back through the worn cloth and hummed very lightly, he felt the smaller man relax slightly.

Tavros was first to break the innocent kiss. He was smiling very softly again, which warmed Gamzee's heart, and he moved his head forward to rest against the crook of Gamzee's neck. His breath was a little heavy from the prior lack of oxygen, and truthfully, it sent chills up Gamzee's spine to feel the wisps of air against the more sensitive part of his skin. The hand that rested on Tavros's head began to massage his scalp very gently, as well as the small of his back. Tavros, after several minutes, began to relax even more so until he was breathing very slowly and he began to hum ever so slightly. It sounded like a purr and it was possibly one of the cutest things Gamzee had ever had the liberty of hearing.


	17. Chapter 17

**_So my moirail/editor's laptop charger died so I am lacking an editor now. Most chapters will be super-self edited. _**

**_Sorry for the late update, I've been really busy with school and having some severe emotional issues that leaves me unable to write. _**

**_I am very sorry for any mistakes in this chapter. Like I said, self-edited. Please let me know, and I will go fix them!_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>At Fault: Chapter 17<em>**

Tavros sighed deeply and allowed the air to suck deeply in his lungs before releasing, the air brushing up against Gamzee's neck. His scent was so attractive and different. Like... some sort of smoky smell along with cheap cologne maybe... and, well, Gamzee. He had a distinct smell that Tavros had no shame in admitting he liked, and that he let his nose be filled with the soft scent. He found himself very relaxed in the larger man's grasp; he wasn't sure how long he had been there. Very careful, tender hands were massaging his shoulders until all the tension and nervousness was drained away completely. He could feel careful fingers work their way across his scalp, brushing against the peach fuzz around the stripe of fluffy, dark brown hair. Occasionally a finger would brush his ear, which caused him to almost purr because it just felt nice. It had been a while since they cuddled like this. Well, when they did, Tavros almost always had a certain nerve about him that made him fidget and never completely melt in his grasp, but maybe because of the long absence without a warm body after being used to it, he felt so compelled to just allow himself to turn into a careless liquid and melt like ice in the heat in the arms of Gamzee.

He let out a bit of a heavier noise as he shifted a bit, just to meld into Gamzee's body shape easier. Their chests fit together very conveniently and almost perfectly; Gamzee's broad one and his pitifully small one. Warmth radiated from beneath his clothes, and it felt much like curling up in a blanket next to a heater on a cold winter day. Cliché description maybe, but Tavros knew it was very accurate, especially with Gamzee's arms tight around him. Allowing a smile to fill his face, he snuggled his face into Gamzee's neck, inhaling the familiar scent again.

"Hmm..." Gamzee's throat rumbled, "Tavbro... your motherfuckin' breath is ticklish as shit."

Tavros chuckled, purposely letting the harsh breaths coming from his lungs to brush Gamzee's sensitive neck. He got a deep snicker from Gamzee that bubbled from his throat; he could feel the vibrations against his cheek.

"C'mon now, Tavbro," Gamzee murmured as he pulled a away a little to look down at Tavros with a grin, "You're motherfuckin' teasing me now."

Tavros stopped himself from whining in a faint amount of disappointment as the warmth body beneath his shifted, but he looked up at Gamzee regardless. "S-sorry..."

"Hmmm," Gamzee rumbled the reply and leaned forward to kiss him again. As their lips fused together, Tavros wasn't as surprised this time and let himself kiss back. He pressed softly, allowing their lips to slide a little before they separated and Gamzee instead kissed other places on his face until he felt his face go aflame. Cheeks were red, and felt very hot, even more so when Gamzee planted a kiss right beneath his eye, right against the warmed skin, and it made Tavros squirm.

He shifted his head and shielded away from Gamzee's kisses It was growing far too embarrassing, even if he did like it. He just returned his face to the crook of Gamzee's neck and listening to him breath and chuckle from deep within his throat, "You're motherfucking adorable, Tavbro."

"Mmmm..." Tavros didn't make an intelligent reply; he just shifted his arms until they were comfortably around Gamzee's warm body. It was similar to a giant, heated body pillow, and he never wanted to let go. To reenforce that thought he dug his fingers into the worn cloth of Gamzee's sweatshirt and made sure to press his nose deeper into the indent of his neck. Gamzee's hands returned to their soft massaging, and he softly sighed of satisfaction as he laid there against Gamzee's body and began to very, very slowly drift away. Gamzee might had said something, but he didn't hear. Everything was muffled, and he didn't really focus on anything else aside from his soft breathing.

* * *

><p>Tavros awoke with a wide yawn. His eyes blinked to a sheet of pale yellow streaming through the slightly open blinds that draped in front of the window across his room. Pushing himself into a sitting position he rubbed his eye with the back of his hand and grumbled to himself incoherently for a few seconds before properly opening his eyes. They weren't quite used to the light yet but he still peered around his room in confusion.<p>

He swore he fell asleep in a pair of arms yesterday evening. He had been tired, so it was no surprise he actually fell asleep. But the owner of those arms were seemingly long gone, leaving him in his bed. _Under the covers. _Tavros cracked a small grin when he noticed the blankets over him. Still, he missed the security of Gamzee's warm body against him and the way he massaged all the tension out of shoulders and back and wow he just felt good this morning, like it was his birthday or Christmas.

He glanced around his bed before remembering Gamzee swept him out of his wheelchair and left it in the hallway. Groaning, he figured he'd have to crawl out to get it. But as he shuffled to the edge of his bed he only then noticed the wheelchair folded up against the wall; he had nearly missed it.

He reached over and awkwardly unfolded it without tumbling off the bed before sliding comfortably into the chair and wheeling himself into the small bathroom. The mundane ritual of the morning bored him to death. Tavros took the time to ponder, as he just wiped off his body with a wet rag (this was more efficient then spending upwards of an hour or two taking a bath), what did his dad think of Gamzee?

Tavros frowned at himself in the bathroom mirror; what did his father possibly think upon seeing Gamzee? Gamzee was older, and didn't exactly look like a model citizen, nor did he speak like one for that matter. Tavros managed to hear the train of curse words that he'd gotten so used to spewed at his father the other night. It was never directed personally, but his father might not know that! Not to mention Gamzee always slouched in a very lazy manner and always looked completely and utterly stoned. Most parents would flip their shit upon finding out their child hung around such a negative influence. Granted, his father probably wouldn't care, simply because Tavros's personal life and welfare wasn't a top priority for him anymore. And if he did punish Tavros somehow like forbidding him from seeing Gamzee, Tavros just figured he had no say on the matter because Tavros technically wasn't even legally under his care anymore.

Tavros turned eighteen late in the spring, and ever since, his dad threw retorts to him about moving out almost daily. That was all fine and dandy only Tavros didn't have much money, he couldn't drive, and he couldn't get a job. (Well maybe he could. But who hires an eighteen year old cripple?)

Tavros shook his head. It wasn't something to worry about _after _senior year of highschool, which was to start here soon. The calender showed school restarting only next week and Tavros did not like that at all, for very obvious reasons. The only pausible good thing about school was seeing Nepeta again.

Then he stopped.

That's right, Nepeta! He promised her he'd call when he got back!

Suddenly the brooding was cut off as he rolled from the bathroom and back into the threshold of his room. He grabbed his phone off his desk and dialed her number. There was no guarentee she was even awake right now, and even if she was, the chances of her answering were next to impossible. She never answered his pesters or texts or calls because she was always so busy-

"Hellllooooo?" A tired, drawled out voice picked up the phone.

"H-hey, Nepeta."

"Ohhh! Tavros!" She sounded much more energetic within a split second, "Good morning! I wasn't expecting a call from you. Did you get back?"

"U-uh... Yeah, last night."

"Oh? And you didn't call me then?" She faked a pouty, annoyed voice.

The image of Gamzee and the feel of his lips were inevitable, "I-I was, uh, busy. And very tired."

"Hehe, I figured. That's okay! How are you doing? Was your trip okay? Did you tell your mom I said hi? And your Grandma? Was it hot down there? Because it was hot up here, wow!" Nepeta began to ramble through the phone, and Tavros chuckled a little.

"I-I am okay... So was the t-trip."

"And what about all the other questions?"

"W-ell... I forgot what you asked..."

Nepeta giggled, "That's okay. I wasn't expecting them all to be answered. Mind if we met up or something? We could probably catch up easier."

"O-oh... I guess."

"Equius got his driver's license just this summer so he can drive us wherever! Hehehe!"

Tavros heard a voice complain from the background. It sounded deep and muscular and- was Equius at Nepeta's house?

"Oh! Stop being a butt, Equius!" Nepeta's voice sounded muffled, as if she drew her mouth from the phone and placed her fingers over the speaker.

"Hehe.. Equius is, uh, at your h-house?"

"Hmmm? Oh yeah! We had a sleepover!" She giggled, again "He spends almost every day at my house during the summer! Anyway, come on Equius get off your sweaty, lazy butt and get your keys. We'll be there in a few, Tavros."

"Hah... " He laughed a bit nervously through the phone, "O-okay. D-do you remember where I-I live?"

"Of course, silly!" She let out one more heartwarming chuckle before hanging up. Well, that was settled. Tavros moved quickly back into the bathroom to get ready.

* * *

><p>Equius twisted his head a bit, just enough to give Tavros a dark scowl from within the dank interior of the putrid truck. It was probably something along the lines of superiority or maybe jealousy. When it came to Equius there was often a fine line, and it was difficult to tell one of his emotions from another.<p>

They all arrived at the destination minutes later, thanks to Equius's careful yet fearful driving. He always followed the rules of the road, but in a chaotic and over exaggerated way to the point that Tavros felt terrified they were going to ram straight into a smaller car or light post. Nepeta remained unfazed by Equius's strange type of driving, but that was pretty much expected since they spent almost every second together.

The destination was simply a sushi bar. Nepeta had a thing for fish (only another reason Tavros was under the impression she was like a cat in human's skin) and insisted upon going even though Equius was less than thrilled. The was a rather modern place and didn't really fit his personal taste at all but he didn't complain. After they ordered from the front and told in a think accent that it would be about a five minute wait they went to sit down somewhere.

Only, all the tables were high off the ground. Of course, it was a sushi bar, all the tables would be tall, circular, and with stools that matched the decorations. Much to vexed attitude, Nepeta insisted Equius put Tavros on one of the stools. Tavros hated it, not being able to crawl into the stools from his wheelchair, and he hated being a burden to Equius and he hated the way Equius picked him up, it hurt his arms and he swore they were being crushed in his iron grip he was lifting a person not one of his robot parts or something-

He stopped inwardly complaining and squirmed until he was comfortably in his seat.

"Heh, sorry, Tavros. I did't remember this place didn't have booths or small tables or anything." Nepeta apologized as she sat to one side of him, and Equius going to her other side.

Tavros shrugged, "N-not a big deal, Nepeta. Just a little i-inconvenient is all."

Nepeta scowled. She was the type of person to be nice to everybody, and she never ever teased him or made a scene about his legs. It was much like she never noticed he was in a wheelchair, which was a nice thing a lot of the time, but in this particular situation it wasn't. Tavros appreciated she never bothered to treat him less than or more than anybody else. He was her friend, that's all there was to it. "R-really, it's okay, Nepeta. I-I don't mind."

She still looked bothered, but Equius butt in before she began verbally pouting, "The amputee says it's okay, take, his word for it, Nepeta."

The huffy look still covered her features, but still she cracked a smile, "Alright, alright, Equius."

"Wasn't that... Short tempered little guy going to join us?" The larger man asked. One bushy eyebrow arched up past the rim of his cracked glasses.

"Karkitty? Yeah! I was gonna ask him but he said he was busy." She replied as she crossed her arms and allowed an unreal spark of annoyance glow in her deep green eyes.

"Karkitty as in Karkat you mean?" Tavros already knew this, but he asked every time just to make sure of his assumptions.

"Yup! That's the one!" Nepeta chirped, "I called him on the way to your house to see if he wanted to join us, because you know if he's not working he locks himself up with John in that old apartment of his. He said no, of course, because he was _busy."_

"T-that or maybe, errr, he just didn't want to see me." Tavros had never spoken to Karkat, and had only heard from him from Nepeta recently, and very ironically, Gamzee. It was strange the two knew the same person but had never heard of each other. Must be some strange paradox thing.

"Why wouldn't he wanna see you?" Nepeta asked as she tipped her head, imitating a curious kitten or something along those lines.

"Eh... G-Gamzee says, uh, he doesn't really like me. I dunno why, and I'm not that curious why, but still."

"Oh yes!" Nepeta's eyes lit up, "You said Gamzee knew Karkat at one point, didn't you?"

"Um... Y-yeah. I-I told you a little bit before school ended remember?"

"Yes, I remember now! Kinda weird, heh."

"How?"

"That they know each other. How is Gamzee, by the way? I don't think you've seen him since you returned home last night... Or maybe he stayed over?" Her voice dripped with implications as she finished the sentence.

"I... I, uh, don't know if he stayed over... I-I mean... I fell asleep." Tavros said with an overly nervous chuckle.

Nepeta almost jolted out of her chair, "Fell asleep? Fell asleep doing what Tavros? Whaaaaaaaat?"

"N-nothing like that, Nepeta!" Tavros exclaimed as he glared at her weakly, his face going a bit hot.

She didn't look convinced, rather, her smirk rose on her face. She was always like this, it was an enviable response to anytime they had a conversation that involved Gamzee. Anybody really. She even went on and on about Karkat and his boyfriend, John. Talking about couples were as expected as her occasional cut puns and her obsession with felines, as well as her obvious energy and the way she bounced off hypothetical walls. It was like her diet consisted of sugar, crack and fanfictions.

"Sure it wasn't, Tavros." Nepeta teased as she leaned over the table and balanced on the chair with her knees. It was with cat-like grace, because she didn't unbalance a bit, "What'd you fall asleep doing?~"

"I-it was innocent! J-jesus, I-I swear…" The man looked away and suddenly wished he was in his wheelchair again because Nepeta was making him feel claustrophobic and uncomfortable in the stool.

"Hehehe…" She sniggered.

"F-fine don't, er, believe me. I-I know what I did," There was a slight unreal growl in his voice that apparently only furthered the assumptions that Nepeta was making.

"Nepeta," Equius began with a long sigh, "Maybe you should believe the amputee."

"No fun!" She whined and swiped her hand at him with a false glare, "This is rich! I want to know who is banging one of my best friends!"

Tavros's eyes widened and his cheeks lit up, "N-not banging! S-stop, uh, making assumptions that aren't, in any, um, manner, true."

"Tavros, how long have you guys been dating? Like half a year now?"

"I-I never said anything about, uh, dating him, Nepeta." Tavros insisted. Perhaps it had been half a year that they had been friends, but they weren't… beyond that. Tavros never once mentioned a romantic relationship with Gamzee, but Nepeta implied and poked and prodded Tavros until he admitted to something more than just a platonic relationship.

"I remember you specifically telling me you two have."

"N-no! I told you I kissed him," He continued, the subject growing a little more that awkward for him.

"But you guys aren't officially boyfriends?" Nepeta didn't look convinced of this; like it was the silliest thing she had ever heard. Maybe it was a little silly, considering how they were acting the previous evening. However, it had never come up in any of their conversations. They talked about each other's lives, school, and sometimes future plans and then they would turn to the video games after having a very short, clumsy intimate moment that involved a kiss or cuddle, and never farther.

"N-no… Not r-really?"

"Well you two should be!" Nepeta rocked back to sit properly on her chair, "you guys are paw-sitively purr-fect fur each oth-fur," She giggled as she said the perfect chain of cat puns and grinned widely, "but in all seriousness, Tavros, why aren't you guys boyfriends?"

"B-because the conversation, uh, never came up," Tavros shrugged simply, "W-we tried to, uh… talk about it, but…"

"…but?"

"I-I… was confused at the time. I wasn't, uh, sure I wanted something above a, ummm, platonic r-relationship."

"You two can't cuddle and kiss and do sloppy make-outs without having some sort of romantic relationship you silly!" She chuckled, "Why don't you just ask him?"

"I… I dunno, I uh, I mean, I guess I could…?" Tavros speculated, then glanced over as the man behind the front counter called out Nepeta's name (since they joint ordered under her name)

Before Nepeta could move Equius slowly rose from his seat and carefully walked away. While he was gone, Nepeta narrowed her eyes, "Have you noticed something about Equius lately?"

"Well... I haven't seen him since, uh, the last day of school."

"Right." She leaned back in her chair and cocked a brow at his back.

"Why?"

"I think he has a secret girlfriend or something." She said, mostly to herself because she didn't give him a chance to reply before she grinned widely, "I'll find out who though, Equius." She turned to him, a playful glint in her eyes, "He vanishes sometimes for a long time and doesn't come back. He's been staying at my house a lot but he'll up and leave at the strangest times... he always comes back smelling like… Hrm…"

"..L-like?"

She paused and made a thinking face for a few moments before seeming satisfied, "Well it's hard to describe. Sort of like… Sweat and smoke and cheap cologne maybe… well something, not sure."

"That is, uh, i-indeed, strange." Tavros agreed with his friend. "Maybe he, uh, just, doesn't want to get you, um... involved? "

"Involved with what though?" Nepeta asked him as she scrunched up her face in a confused manner, "I don't want him doing bad things..." Her voice trailed off.

Equius returned and they fell into an unnatural silence as he took the plates off the main tray and placed them in front of Nepeta and Tavros and then himself. Nepeta dug in, all speculation and ship-excitement gone and began stuffing her face with raw fish. Equius and Tavros were both less than excited as they picked hesitantly at the dead fish before actually trying to eat it.

Their conversation following the meal wasn't much. Tavros just told Nepeta what he told Gamzee the night before and Nepeta did most of the talking and replying with a huge amount of energy. Eventually they decided to leave the sushi bar. Nepeta told him about some of her friends and how they were doing. He also learned that one of her cats gave birth to kittens, and if he wanted he could take one. Tavros considered it for a while, since he loved animals and could connect with them well, but he still felt a little saddened over his lizard's death. He didn't want to feel as if he was replacing his old, dead friend that he cared for for so long.

Tavros kept that bit of information at the back of his mind as they just roamed around the neighborhood tediously. His arms grew tired after a while, so they finally agreed to hang out at Nepeta's house. Tavros had been here once or twice, but he remembered it was chaotic and not a place he wanted to be. The youngest of the many siblings, only about 14 months, began screaming at one point. The two who were five and seven darted around Tavros and gawked at his strange wheelchair and legs. Nepeta had to threaten them not to make fun of Tavros, which they looked like they had no intention of doing but it was still nice to get that reinforcement.

Tavros admired her cat's kittens, and got to hold them and pet them. Tavros had a very soft spot for animals and often enjoyed being around them. Nepeta just went on talking as he held the animals in his palms. Their conversation somehow gravitated back to Gamzee, and with that Tavros decided he wanted to go home. It's not like he minded talking about Gamzee, it was just how Nepeta literally got in his face and pried for information. He didn't want to tell her in detail about what position they cuddled in or how often they made out.

Tavros said goodbye to them both when he was dropped off at his house again. Nepeta hugged him and Equius waved before they drove off down the street. Tavros returned to his room, booted up his computer and went on FLARP, not even bothering to get on pesterchum. He figured Aradia would see him online and jump in for a game or two. But as he played he kept thinking about what Nepeta asked him earlier. Even when he was destroying some wage by slicing through her with his virtual sword, the words echoed in his mind. What _were_ him and Gamzee? Friends? Boyfriends? It wasn't as if their relationship needed a label, but his curiosity was overwhelming. He'd simply have to ask, he supposed.


	18. Chapter 18

_**How did I even get this done I don't even know what the fuck am I even writing I don't even-**_

_**Also as you know, less than three symbols don't work. So if you see a random 3 it is a heart, but that should be obvious.**_

**_Please alert me of mistakes so I can fix them. I had to self-edit, again. And it's late, I probably missed shit. Very sorry. Please if you notice something let me know!_**

* * *

><p><em><strong>At Fault: Chapter 18<strong>_

**-adiosToreador [AT] began pestering terminallyCapricious [TC]-**

AT: oKAY, hEY,

TC: SuP mY bRo?

AT: nOT MUCH AT ALL, rEALLY,

AT: jUST GOT DONE WITH AN, uHH, ePIC, fLARP SESSION,

AT: i SWEAR i KILLED SO MANY, eNEMIES, aND THINGS OF THE SORT, nOBODY COULD EVEN HANDLE IT,

TC: HaHaHa, MoThErFuCkIn RaD, bRoTheR.

AT: yEAH, iT WAS AS YOU SAID, 'rAD',

AT: aNYWAY, i JUST GOT DOE BECAUSE aRADIA, mY UH, FLARPING PARTNER, uP AND LEFT WITH HER, uHHH, bOYFRIEND,

TC: aWwWwW aNd sHe JuSt Up AnD lEfT? :o(

AT: yEAH, bUT IT ISN'T THAT MUCH OF A BIG DEAL, I MEAN, I AM, uH, uSED TO IT, I GUESS,

TC: thAt FuCkIn sUcKs BrOtHeR yOu HaVe No IdEa...

TC: oR wAiT, i GuEsS yOu dO.

TC: :o( hOnKhOnKhOnk.

TC: hOnKhOnKhOnK.

TC: hOnKhOnKhOnK.

TC; hOnKhOnKhOnK.

TC: hOnKhOnKhOnK.

AT: uMMM,,,, aNY REASON FOR ALL OF THE, hONKS,

TC: tRyIn tO cHeEr A bRoThEr Up. :o)

TC: hOnKiNg cHeErS mE tHe FuCk Up.

AT: hAhA,

AT: tHANKS, gAMZEE, 3

TC: wE gOt ThE mOtHeRfUcKiN hEaRtS gOinG oN aNd sHiT?

TC: 3

AT: wELL,,, I GUESS I CONCLUDED, fROM OUR RECENT, uHHH, mAKE-OUT, tHAT, tHERE SHOULD BE,

AT: uH,,, hEARTS,,,,,,

TC: hElL yEs MoTheRfuCkEr, wE nEeD aLl ThAt FuZzY ShIt AlL uP iN hErE.

TC: hEaRtS aNd ShIt.

AT: hEY, Uhhh, gAMZEE?

TC: yEah, BrOtHeR?

AT: wHAT, uH, aRE WE?

TC: wAtChA mEaN?

TC: gOtTa Be MoRe sPeCiFiC, bRoThEr.

AT: wELL, i WENT OUT TO THIS PLACE, sUSHI BAR, wITH nEPETA AND eQUIUS,

TC: oH sO yOu Do KnOw EqUiUs?

AT: uMMM, yES, fOR A WHILE NOW, uHHH, mORE LIKE SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL,,,

AT: eVEN THOUGH HE'S A BIT, uM, oN THE ODD SIDE?

AT: aNYWAY, mE AND nEPETA WERE TALKING, aND, uHH, wELL,,,,

AT: nO WAIT, sHE ASKED, i MEAN

AT: lIKE, wHAT ARE WE, rEGARDING OUR, uH, mORE THAN,,, I DON'T KNOW, I AM UH, tERRIBLE AT THIS,,,,,

AT: i DON'T KNOW, lIKE, aRE WE TOGETHER OR,,,, lIKE,,,,,,

AT: i DON'T EVEN, kNOW WHAT I AM SAYING,,,

TC: TaVbRo YoU'rE bEiNg So MotHeRfuCkIn AdOraBle hOlY sHiT.

AT: uHHH,,,?

TC: bRb I aM gOiNg To YoUr hOuSe rIgHt NoW i NeEd tO kIsS yOuR fAcE.

AT: wHAT?

AT: wHAT,

AT: wAIT, gAMZEE,

AT: ,,,

TC: wHaT? You cAn AsK mE wHeN i'M sQuIsHiNg yOuR cHeEkS. :o)

AT: D/:{

AT: gAMZEE, bUT FIRST,

AT: i WAS WONDERING, wHAT ARE WE,,

AT: lIKE,

AT: uH,,,,

AT: uMMM,,,,,,,, bOYFRIENDS,,, i GUESS? oR,,,

TC: hElL mOtHeRfuCkIn YeS.

TC: oF cOuRsE tAvBrO tHoUGhT yOu'd NeVeR aSk.

AT: dOES THAT MEAN, uHH, oUR OUTINGS WILL BE,,, dATES i THINK,,

AT: aND,,,

AT: i DON'T,,,,

AT: gAMZEE, i DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS, uHHH, i'VE NO CLUE,

AT: lIKE IT ALL GOES STRAIGHT, oVER MY HEAD,

TC: tAvBrO i Am aBoUt To MoThErFuCkIn KnOcK dOwN tHiS hErE cOmPuTeR sCrEeN sO I CaN kIsS tHaT cUtE mOuTh mOtHeRfUcKiN sEnSelEsS aNd sHIt.

AT: aHHH,,,,

TC: AnYwAy, tAvBrO, yEaH, wE cAn Go On A mOtHeRfuCkIn rEaL dAtE. IT'Ll bE AlL tRaDiTiOnAl AnD hOlY sHiT lIkE aMaZiNg.

TC: iT'Ll bE mOrE chEeSy ThAn KaRkAt'S rOmCoMs.

TC: :o)

AT: oH, lIKE TO A FANCY RESTURANT,,,?

AT: i AM NOT SO SURE,,,, i DO NOT WANt, yOU TO SPEND, uHH, mORE MONEY, oN ME,,

TC: iT'S oKaY tAvBrO, rEaLly. I HaVe SoMe mOnEy SaVeD uP fOr ThE mOvE, I CaN uSe A lIiTlE oF tHaT.

AT: tHE, uH, mOVE?

TC: yEaH bRoThEr. I'Ll eXpLaIn LaTeR.

TC: fOr nOw, I'm uP aNd hEaDiNg tO yOuR hOuSe oKaY?

AT: wAIT, uH ,wHy?

TC: tAkInG yOu OuT oF CoUrSe. ;o) bE ThErE sOoN.

TC: hOnK. 3

AT: oH, uH, oKAY I GUESS,,,,

AT: ,,,

AT: 3

**-adiosToreador [AT] ceased pestering terminallyCapricious [TC]-**

Tavros took his fingers off the keyboard and scratched the back of his head as he stared at the conversation they just had. Tavros wouldn't call the conversations he had with Gamzee awkward or anything, (except the one from a few days ago when they started sexting out of nowhere, that was pretty awkward, considering yes Tavros did get a little turned on right in the middle of the car), but that last conversation certainly felt like it was. He did his best to keep a calm mind, but naturally it still made him a little confused and skittish. He officially asked Gamzee out, and so now they were an 'item' as people called it, and Tavros wasn't sure how he felt about it. He certainly never assumed he would have a boyfriend, yet here he was typing hearts at another guy. A guy that he trusted probably more than anybody else, a guy that could make him feel safe just by being in the same room. He never thought he'd actually would ever allow himself to be held by another guy, or to be kissed by one, or to have _wet dreams _about them.

However, he was concerned about his father. His father was less than thrilled about Gamzee's almost constant presence in the otherwise very quiet, lonely household. Tavros knew that his father hadn't really seen Gamzee much, perhaps only catching him leaving or arriving, but he hadn't directly confronted the man, until just the other day. Goodness, he was glad he made himself noticed so he could distract Gamzee away from his father. He didn't want them to talk, because hell, if his father knew he was gay, and he was dating a man three years older than him...

Tavros didn't want to think about it. His father would probably be beyond pissed off, or maybe, he wouldn't care. It was hard to predict. Not that he should be especially bothered by it, after all, he was eighteen, and it was his life to do as he pleased. Still, he hated being such a disappointment in his father's eyes, and this revelation about his sexuality probably wasn't going to help. He didn't really know how his father felt about homosexuals, but if it was like anything else he viewed, he'd probably hate it.

Well whatever. What he should he thinking about is where Gamzee intended to take him, and when he would arrive, and what he should wear. He supposed he could just throw a button-up shirt and call it good, but what if that was overdressing it? What if by 'fancy' Gamzee meant the Applebees downtown? A place like that didn't require very 'fancy' attire. Hell, he could wear pajama pants and a hoodie and nobody would care. However, if Gamzee was serious, then maybe going with a button-up shirt would be an under-estimation.

Perhaps he could wear a sweater along with it, but that might have been silly, because even though it was the evening, it was still as hot as fuck outside. With much fumbling, he finally decided on a strange dress-shirt sweater combo that he supposed would work just fine. But as he rolled into the bathroom to check on his appearance, he frowned at his own horrendous reflection in the mirror. What, did he just crawl out of a pits of satan's asshole? He didn't know much about dates, but if this was the real deal this look wouldn't do. He cleaned up his face and fluffed up his mohawk until he decided it would work.

...God he was being too picky about this.

He went back into his bedroom and began scrambling for clothes. He was probably overdressing, even though when he was wearing was slightly above casual, he still felt like a dick for wearing it! He tore off his shirt and began looking for a new one to wear. In his haste and search, he didn't even hear the loud car right outside the house growl and slow to a halt. He didn't hear somebody barging their way into the house and trudging up the stairs until he was angrily sitting in his chair and glaring at the shirts laid out all around him in an arrayed mess. A hand was on his stubbled chin, while the other tapped their fingers on the armrest of his wheelchair. He jumped in surprise when a pair of hands ran over his eyes and blocked his vision. He panicked for a fraction a moment before a familiar voice sounded in his voice.

"'Sup, Tavbro?" The husky voice whispered uncomfortably close to his ear, "any reason you're sitting in the middle of your room without a motherfuckin' shirt on?"

"I- Uhh, er, I was just..." no intelligent words were being formed at the moment, because he did, in fact, forget how fast it took for Gamzee to get here, and how he would usually just barge into the house and climb up the stairs louder than a herd of horses on crack.

"Please bro, get a motherfuckin' shirt on before I skip the date altogether and just devoir you here, yeah?" Gamzee's voice went on, still, right in his ear so he felt goosebumps rise on his skin. The hands left his eyes, and the heavy breathing seemed to disappear as well. Gamzee crossed the room and leaned against the door frame as he watched Tavros quickly, and nervously, scramble for a shirt.

"I mean, well, uh, okay... I didn't really know what to, uh, wear, like, what would be the qualifications and-" as he glanced over to Gamzee his voice halted right in his throat. Gamzee was wearing a plain black button up dress shirt, sort of what he intended to wear, but he never expected Gamzee in about a billion years to wear one. He even had the sleeves rolled up to the elbow, revealing his very pale skin a long, lanky arms. He wore his normal black jeans however, and still had those pair of indigo converse that looked old and ratty.

"I dunno, I mean, I put this much on because I thought we were gonna do this motherfuckin' right." He gestured to his shirt again, which Tavros was trying to pointedly ignore as he pulled on what he originally intended to wear. "Doesn't really motherfuckin' matter what you wear, because shit, this is about you and me, not that other tedious crap."

"Heh, g-good point." Tavros sniggered as he finished putting on his shirt. He patted the crumples down with haste and suddenly wished, again, he had put on something else, because he felt weird wearing these clothes.

Gamzee walked over while he brooded and leaned down until ha got the smaller mans attention. With a grin he put a hand on Tavros's cheek, "You look motherfuckin' adorable, Tavbro." His thumb ran across his nose. "But then, when don't you?"

"A-and..." God, he was terrible at this, "Y-you look... um... b-bitchtits hot?" He offered as he tried to throw some Gamzee vocabulary in there for the heck of it. He really had no idea what he was doing, though.

Gamzee just stared at him with an almost blank expression for what seemed like a very long time before he smirked, snickered, then reached down for Tavros's hand and pulled it to his mouth, gentle kissing one of the fingers, "Well I am motherfuckin' glad I please you, Tavbro."

Tavros wasn't expecting that, nor was he expecting the kiss on his hand. Why kiss his hand? It, for some reason, felt a little... Weird. Not bad though, he guessed, but he'd prefer a kiss on his lips. When he glanced back up at Gamzee's face, which stared back down at him through half lidded eyes and a soft smirk, any words died in his throat. _Dang it _he really was hot, and Tavros usually didn't think of Gamzee like that except in the inner realm of erotic dreams.

Maybe he read his face and saw the look on his expression, because Gamzee just smiled wider and said, "nope, doing this motherfuckin' right, Tavbro, we're gonna have an epic as shit date, it'll be the most motherfuckin' wickedest thing ever, holy shit, and then it'll be like some miracle of a kiss afterwards."

"...G-gamzee that sounds, uh, v-very cliché and c-cheesy..." Tavros admitted with a eyebrow shooting up.

"Yeah, hah, it does. Do you not wanna motherfuckin' do it?"

"N-no, I, uh, do. It sounds... Interesting, at least."

"Awwwwesomeeee." His voice drawled out, "so we should probably fuckin' go now, yeah?"

"Alright..."

"Allow me to motherfuckin' escort you, then." Gamzee grinned a toothy grin, bowed, then hoisted Tavros out of his chair like he had done so many times prior and carried him from the room, down the stairs and to his other wheelchair. "I still motherfuckin' hate these stairs though..." He muttered, mostly to himself, before heading over to the door and opening it.

Tavros wondered, vaguely, if he should let his dad know he was leaving. Oh wait, it was his dad, he probably wouldn't care. So, he took Gamzee's lead and pushed his way out of the house towards the waiting truck.

* * *

><p>Okay, when Tavros said cliché and cheesy, he wasn't joking. The restaurant they went to wasn't Applebees tier, but it wasn't some five-star french restaurant where the soup was more expensive than the entire McDonalds menu put together. It was a pretty simple yet relatively nice place, and the first thing Tavros noticed was that it had a lot of couples. He probably shouldn't be self-conscience about going out to a place like this with another guy, but he couldn't help it. In fact he felt some stares burning right on the back of his skull as he followed the waiter to their seats. A wheelchair friendly booth near the front, one of the only two. Gamzee slid into the booth with vigor and squirmed until he was comfortable. Tavros wheeled himself into the empty space opposite him and leaned back in his wheelchair, already pretty comfortable.<p>

Tavros was a bit more than surprised when Gamzee didn't ask for a soda-like drink from the waiter, but rather some sort of drink he hadn't heard of.

"You see, Tavbro," Gamzee said as the waiter left for their drinks, "Karkat is my best motherfuckin' friend, and he tends to drag me to a bar, demand all the alcohol, and then get drunk as a motherfuckin' shitfuck. I gotta learn to be... relatively sober during those times, because maaaaaaan he ges a little out of control. I can't honestly fucking tell if he's a sad drunk or a very, very angry drunk. He's even been a giggly drunk! Which was as cute as shit, but I won't get into that."

Tavros nodded slowly, taking in this random story Gamzee decided to share. "I hafta learn to drink certain shit that won't leave me piss-ass drunk." The waiter returned with a coke, like Tavros ordered, but also with some colorful drink in a frosted cup, topped with a cherry. "I like these fuckin' fruity drinks, they are as sweet as shit and wow," He took a huge gulp of it, allowed it to sit in his mouth for a few seconds before swallowing, "they don't taste good in places like this though, but you know I ain't about to complain."

He nodded again, "so that's a type of alcohol right there?"

"Hell yeah," Gamzee replied, "wanna try some? It doesn't taste bad, just motherfuckin' delicious as a motherfuck."

A little on the hestitant side, Tavros shifted his eyes around suspiciously before taking the cup and pulling it across the table towards him. The drink was a brilliant shade of green, and upon taking a tentative sip of it he felt as if his mouth was assaulted with a sensation of sour, covering up the burning of alcohol. Holy, it _did _taste good, if not a little powerful. He felt as if he needed to be offended by the taste, but he wasn't. Tavros took another sip, just for sip's sake, before returning it to Gamzee.

"Motherfuckin' good, yeah?" Gamzee said as he took another drink of it before returning to the menu. "I know I guess you're technically underaged, but no motherfucker knows."

"Y-yeah, haha. It tasted..." He thought about it, "P-pretty, uh, good actually. Except for the burning in my, uh, throat. Not much, though, just a bit."

"Yeah, you get fuckin' used to that shit. Sorry, though." Gamzee did look apologetic as he flipped through the menu and fixed you with a look over the rim of the upturned piece of parchment.

Tavros shrugged, feeling a little weird. He picked up the menu and browsed for about five minutes before settling on some sort of mexican dish. He set his menu aside and leaned against the table, watching Gamzee flip tediously through his own menu. He looked sort of weird right at that moment, it wasn't a view Tavros was very expecting to see of Gamzee. Dressed all nice, for one. He sat there saluted in mostly the dark of the restaurant, the only real luminance coming from the lamp that swung above the table. He actually looked... not like a mindless stoner as he actually read through the menu. He actually looked mature, not some overgrown teenager like he usually looked like. Tavros had to admit this mature looking Gamzee was attractive...

He caught Tavros's eye and fixed him with a smile. Tavros noticed then he had been staring for God knows how long, so he turned away and looked at anything more interesting at all, like a wall, or the floor.

"You okay, Tavbro? You sure you wanna do this?" Gamzee asked as he set aside his menu and slouched down in his booth.

"Do what? This? O-of course I do! I-I am just, not sure... What to do."

"We've done this before you know," Gamzee told him with a grin, "Just never anything motherfuckin' official or shit."

"T-that's what makes it nerve-wracking." Tavros muttered the reply and took a sip of his coke, still not looking at Gamzee directly.

"Well I don't want to get all your uncomfortable on. We can motherfuckin' leave now if you want?"

"N-no! I-it's okay, I swear!" Tavros told him with a bit more force, but chuckled anyway.

Gamzee grinned even wider, "Good. So, you never finished telling me about your vacation and shit."

"Oh..." Tavros thought and then sat back in his chair and let the stories flow from his mouth. Unlike being with nepeta, he somehow ended up doing most of the talking with Gamzee. He nodded, replied, through in a curse-filled sentence here and there and that was pretty much the duration of the conversation. It was only interrupted by the waiter asking for their orders, which they told, and then went back to talking to each other. Like Gamzee said, Tavros had done this before, and knowing that he felt far more at ease. He wasn't trying to impress Gamzee (which is usually all about the "first date"), he was just there to chill, to have fun, to do something as a couple, which felt no different from what they had been doing for the last several months. He felt completely at ease with Gamzee as he told some of the stories about his summer home with his Grandma and Grandpa. He chuckled some as he told an amusing story, probably the only amusing story he had.

He did slip out though, accidentally, that he had been having weird dreams. When Gamzee asked about them. Tavros did not go in depth whatsoever, and he really hoped Gamzee wouldn't guess or something. That would have been utterly terrible- for Gamzee to know Tavros had erotic dreams about him several times over the summer. He had no intention of ever sharing that with Gamzee, and for a food reason.

The conversation switched as Tavros decided to ask about Gamzee moving out. Gamzee nodded and explained the situation. Apparently his brother was growing unbearable to live with; he stole Gamzee's medicine, used up all the little hot water they had, was a slob, didn't help with the payments and etc. Tavros wondered if this was actually Gamzee's older brother, because it certainly didn't sound like it. His brother sounded like a huge dickface, really, and the fact he was supposed to be the one helping out with the house made it worse. By the end of the explanation, Tavros was fuming on the inside. He didn't want to show it though and worry Gamzee, so he kept it to himself and continued to listen to him. Gamzee had found an apartment in the same building as his best friend Karkat and his boyfriend John. For some reason that bothered Tavros in the slightest bit, but he didn't look into it. If it was jealousy he didn't want to explore such a negative emotion.

They finished their meals and their drinks, and Gamzee insisted on paying for the bill. Tavros shook his head, and brought out his wallet. His grandmother gave him money just before he left, so he kept telling Gamzee he could pay. There was a small squabble over it, and in the end, Gamzee won. Don't ask Tavros how, because he certainly didn't know.

It was already dark out as they headed back to Tavros's house. Gamzee explained he would have to star moving soon and he wanted to get an early sleep, which Tavros could understand completely. They rolled up the curb a few minutes later, and Gamzee was out of the car in a split second. He opened the door for Tavros, set up his wheelchair, and even helped him into it, despite Tavros's fusing.

"I'm doing this motherfuckin' right. I'll even kiss you in front of the god damn door. How more cliché do you want it?" Gamzee grinned.

"It sounded like a terrible romantic comedy movie staring Adam Sandler." Tavros replied weakly as he was wheeled up the walkway.

Gamzee let out a hearty chuckle he pushed the wheelchair up and right in front of the door. Before opening it, or making any move to knock on it or ring the doorbell, Gamzee returned the wheelchair so if faced him. Two hands were on either side of Tavros's face; fingers gently caressed his cheeks as Gamzee brought his face up, "thanks for the motherfuckin' date _boyfriend," _The older man used emphasis on the last word, and Tavros felt his heart do something weird at the word. He was just called boyfriend, it was so different, so strange, so alien- and then the line of thought dropped when Gamzee planted a kiss on his lips. The kiss was simple and innocent and stretched out for a few seconds before Gamzee tried to pull away, however he couldn't. Tavros's hand was on the back of his head though and kept him planted there. That was fine with Gamzee; their lips rolled and pressed hard, and Tavros probably made some pitiful sound when Gamzee nipped his bottom lip. The widened of his mouth was put to good use, and Gamzee rolled his tongue into his mouth, and their lips fused again. Tavros could feel the appendage in his mouth, and he had to admit it wasn't unpleasant. He welcomed it, embraced it, and God he just let his tongue work naturally as they slid against each other.

They didn't even notice the front door open, or notice a fuming man standing there, until, of course, it was too late.


	19. Chapter 19

**_At Fault: Chapter 19_**

The kiss they shared cut short when Tavros pulled back, retracting his arm and clenching them to his chest protectively. His eyes were on Gamzee for a fraction of a second before they turned to his dad, who stood saluted in the doorway. Pale yellow light pooled in from behind him, casting most of his body in shadow. His body was stiff and outraged, and his eyes were bulging with anger. He looked terrifying right now; his face was scrunched up in such pure disbelief, and he looked like he was about to collapse. An eyebrow twitched, and he finally spoke in a very slow, stretched out voice.

"What the _hell_ is going on?"

Gamzee straightened up, oblivious, "Hello, Mr. Nitram," He greeted with a wave, ignorant to the danger that was about to ensue.

"Uhh..." Tavros began, then decided this wasn't really the time to say anything.

"Tavros," his dad's voice was shaking, "Any reason I just opened the door to this?" The voice was very, very quiet, but it trembled hard enough to make Tavros flinch quite a bit. This wasn't good, his father was absolutely fuming; it was evident by the way he stood there. Every aspect about him just screamed about how pissed off he was.

"Opened the door to what?" Gamzee asked, his voice less than amused. "Just motherfuckin' kissing a motherfucker after a date, no need to watch."

"I'll tell you what, it's... it's... _Disgusting. _Jesus Christ...-"

"Mr. Nitram you wouldn't happen to be one of those homophobic motherfuckers, Because I have met people like you and shit it ain't very great."

"You shut your mouth, I'm not fucking talking to you," He hissed at Gamzee before turning back to Tavros, his eyes flaring, "Tavros, what the hell is the meaning of this? I didn't raise you to be like _this_, like any of this." He threw his hands up in bit of an over-dramatic manner, "This, this, this! You were such a good kid, I was actually fucking proud of you. You were the top of your class in kindergarden and first grade. And then _that_ happened, and it all went sailing down the fucking hill-" he was was glaring at Tavros furiously; his eyes were like daggers.

Tavros, meanwhile, took it in with an uncomfortable look. He didn't say anything, and his face didn't change as he listened to his father scold him. It was the usual really, except this time he had one more thing to be angry about; his son being, what he referred to as; a 'faggot'.

Gamzee, however, had an unreadable look on his face. His eyes were looking onward, while his mouth didn't smile nor frown. It was sort of scary, seeing how he usually had some sort of happy emotion on his face. When he wasn't happy, it was easy to tell. Tavros recalled a few times where his temper flared a little bit; usually when Tavros would tell him about the bullying he'd succumbed to during his school days and Gamzee looked as if he was about to fuck up a motherfucker. But this... Emotion... not a smile, no a frown, just a straight line with an unreadable expression. What was this supposed to be?

"Your mother would be disappointed in you as well, Tavros. I didn't RAISE you like this, I didn't raise you to be a faggot, you know in your grandfather's day you would have been hung on the spot. What did I even do to deserve this pile of shit?" Another throw of his hands as he got closer to Tavros, his eyes aflame.

"S-sorry.." Tavros finally mumbled, glancing down at the ground.

Gamzee wasn't having this though, apparently, because before Tavros's dad could take another step he strode over and stood in front of him. His posture went from slouched and lazy to intimidating. Very intimating; he stood at his full height, making him taller than his dad and even more so than little old Tavros in a chair.

"Shut up." Gamzee said evenly, though his voice was lined with the faintest hint of an almost animalistic growl.

Tavros swore it was the scariest voice he'd ever heard in his life. Simply because, Gamzee never growled, nor never got angry. He was such a lethargic, seemingly carefree man he'd never heard him raise his voice or even really frown, except for a few very rare times (afterward he usually claimed he needed his medicine).. If he was upset, his mouth would just drop to a thin, straight line, but almost never a frown.

"Excuse me?" His father rebuked, sounding rather offended and pissed off his was interrupted.

"I didn't stutter, motherfucker." Gamzee snarled suddenly, "I said shut up."

Tavros's eyes widened, "G-gamzee-"

"Why are you motherfucking talking to your own son like that? Huh, motherfucker? You seriously think you can all up and yell at him _FOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT_?" He asked, his voice raising nearly an octave.

"I can talk to him however I damn well please, who even are you?"

Gamzee growled again. "He's your own son, you're own flesh and motherfucking blood, how the fuck do you even live with yourself talking to him like that?"

"That is my business, and mine alone, you-"

"I think, as his boyfriend I'm allowed to know why the motherfuck his dad feels the god damn need to yell at him for something like being gay." Gamzee retaliated fearsomely.

"You couldn't possibly understand," he snarled back, "This is about far more than just being a faggot, which is pretty disgusting, but how he can fucking live with himself the way he does."

Gamzee's fists were clenched into tight balls; his knuckles were turning white. "I don't motherfucking care what your justifications _are,_" his eyebrow twitched again. His arms were shaking now, as if he were holding a brutal punch back, or attempting to suppress even more intense rage.

Tavros was _scared. _Gamzee was getting too angry over this; it wasn't something to get so upset about! He wasn't worth enough to be so upset over, but here Gamzee was, his entire body quivering with what was pure wrath because of him. His frustration and ire was almost palpable, radiating from his posture and his expression and the poison that raked through each sentence.

"This is fucking ridiculous." Tavros noticed that his father's voice began losing it's energy; as if the shock was beginning to wear off. "Ridiculous... It's bad enough my son is a crippled murderer, but now he's gay; what fucking God is punishing me for whatever shit I did..." He trailed away, his voice faltering into that of genuine sadness and remorse. "I don't know what I did to deserve this, but I'm not having this anymore."

"Good, motherfucker, you don't have to have 'this' anymore," Gamzee told him fiercely as he walked around behind Tavros and began pushing his wheelchair down the walkway back to the car.

Tavros wanted to ask what he was doing, but as he opened his mouth words faltered in his throat. Was he supposed to say? He was terrified, and Gamzee was flipping all of his shit off the face of the planet. He grabbed the car door and swung it open with such haste and force it bounced a few times before slamming shut again. The inanimate object earned a furious glare from a short tempered Gamzee as he threw it open again and stood in the way of the door so it wouldn't close again. Facing Tavros now, he pulled him from the wheelchair. Even though his movements were swift and clumsy with anger shaken limbs, he still managed to be gentle helping tavros into the car. He wasn't sure he should appreciate this though because Gamzee was still pissed beyond belief and he wasn't sure he completely trusted the man right now.

By now, his father was coming after them, saying something, but his voice was was muffled when Gamzee pulled away from the amputee and slammed the door closed. He could hear them talking beyond the glass and he watched as Gamzee made some dramatic hand gestures at his father. He even clenched his fists, and Tavros was almost scared he would throw a punch at the older man. But he didn't, he just turned away and threw his wheelchair into the back without even folding it up. He went to the other side of the truck, got into the seat next to him and slammed the door with such force the entire car trembled. He revved the car to life and took off with a slam on the gas. Tavros's father stood stood on the curb.

Again, Tavros hadn't a clue what to say. He remained silent, his eye-gaze directed downwards to the floor of the car. Gamzee wasn't even playing his music, or talking, or anything, his eyes were just on the road, so intense it was like he believed he could blow the pavement up just by his gaze alone. Tavros was still frankly, scared shitless. Just being in the same car as this man was a bit nerve-wracking. It was worse than when their relationship was still new and he wasn't familiar with Gamzee at all. He turned his head away from the older man, afraid to meet his gaze and invoke his wrath again somehow, and watched the dark world outside the car pass.

And what had his dad implied? His words had been lashing like a whip, but Tavros had expected the reaction if his father ever found out about his relationship with Gamzee (though he sort of wished that his father just didn't care, like a lot of other things). His reaction was probably natural for a lot of fathers. But... Tavros wondered, if his dad implied something; if his dad implied he wasn't allowed to come home; that he was kicked out of the house. Panic wrenched through him at the realization.

No. No his father could be mean but... He had nowhere else to go! How could he be kicked out so easily? No. Tavros shook his head: no, no, no, no, nooooo. He wasn't kicked out of the house! He couldn't have been. He couldn't afford anywhere wit the little money that was sent to him by his grandmother. And his grandmother! He couldn't live with her and Grandpa; he was worse than his father when it came to hostility.

Maybe his father implied disowning him then...?

... That wasn't a better thought.

"You've got to be motherfucking kidding me." Gamzee's angry voice shook the car, and Tavros dared to look over.

Gamzee was looking at his phone, or rather, glaring at.

"Uhhh..." Tavros began, about to ask what was the matter.

"No, brother, no, I don't motherfucking care what shit you spew." Gamzee shut his phone with force and threw it on the seat between them. Tavros gulped, wondering if he should ask him about what caused him to toss his phone so angrily, but he decided, in the end, he probably shouldn't...

"My brother is throwing another shitty party or whatever, and told me to fuck off and not come home," Gamzee answered him, "He's probably going to take the last of my medicine which _IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED I NEED RIGHT MOTHERFUCKING NOW._"

The sudden raise in voice caught him completely off guard, and for some reason, he found himself shifting sideways until he press against the door and away from Gamzee.

Maybe Gamzee noticed, because he looked over at Tavros for a few seconds. His face dropped to a more sad or pensive sort of manner. "I wasn't yelling at you," He said with a tight voice. Tavros nodded, shakily.

A few minutes later they pulled up into the yard of an old house on the edges of town. Tavros assumed this was Gamzee's house, or what could barely be considered as a house; paint chipped off the sides and the grass covering the front yard was very dry, all yellow and dead. A broken porch took up a good portion of the front of the house, and it was covered in several miscellaneous things like broken lawn chairs, boxes of junk, and trash cans.

Gamzee didn't even turn off the car, he just thrust the door open and looked back at Tavros, "I need the grab some motherfucking things. Stay the in here," He slammed the door shut. His figure was just a shadow as he crossed the lawn and went into the house.

Tavros waited in the dark of the car, alone. He could hear muffled noises coming from the house; it sounded like loud voices and raging music. He saw some figures pass by windows, where only pale multicolored lights offered illumination.

Gamzee was out minutes later, a backpack in hand. After opening the car door, he hastily deposited the bag in the seat between them, shut the door and backed out of the yard with a loud groan of his car. He was moving even more clumsily this time, and as they turned to properly get back out on the road, he drove in the wrong lane for half the street length before getting into the proper one. Luckily this road was very empty of cars.

They were unsurprisingly quiet. Where they were going, Tavros hadn't a clue, but it's not like he could get away. It wasn't a long drive either, and they soon pulled up in a dark parking lot in front of an apartment complex. It was a pretty ratty looking place, but probably far better than the neighborhood they just left. Gamzee grabbed the bag and slung it over his shoulder, "This is Karkat's place by the way. We're bunking with him and John." He cast a glance back at him; it was still lined with irritability. "I'm not letting you back home to be yelled at by the aggravating motherfucker of a father."

He closed the door, grabbed Tavros's wheelchair and opened his door. Tavros was hesitant letting Gamzee help him into the wheelchair; but he was still gentle like he always was. He wheeled him to the outer door of the complex that lead into the interior hallways. It was a creepy hallway; lights swung from the ceiling, the floor was covered in an array of stains and every wall was cracked in some way, shape or form. It wasn't long before they were in front of a door that had the number '28' plastered on the front. Gamzee kicked the door a few times rather than knocking like a normal person.

_"I wonder who the fuck that is"? _An angry voice sounded behind the door a few moments later. The door swung open.

Tavros assumed this was Karkat: He was short with dark skin, dark hair, and dark eyes. Everything about him was dark; he almost blended in with the shadows of his dank apartment. The only thing that wasn't dark was the blood red trim he had on his clothing. His eyes were narrowed, and his mouth was twisted in such a deep frown it looked like it would hurt his face.

"Hello best friend," Gamzee greeted harshly as he let himself in. Tavros wheeled after him, trying to ignore the fearsome glare from Karkat.

"Hey, Gamzee!" Greeted a new voice. A short guy (but still taller than Karkat) came walking in from the hallway, "You gonna bunk with us again? Oh! Is that Tavros?" He remained oblivious to the tense atmosphere as he pushed past the irritated couple and stood next to the amputee.

"Uhh.. Y-yeah, I am Tavros..." He confirmed. He tried to smile but failed; too many hectic things just happened for him to smile.

"I'm John!" He waved once, "Gamzee talks a lot about you, so I figured you're Tavros. So what's up? Why're you two here?"

"Oh hell fucking no you stupid pothead, you aren't doing that shit in here." Karkat cut in, not even giving anybody a chance to say anything more. His voice was harsh and scratchy; probably from yelling so often, because even now, his voice was raised.

"You know what it's for, motherfucker."

"Why the _hell_ did you bring that shit here? We could all be fucking arrested!"

"I couldn't do it at home."

"Then do it under a bridge, in the park, in your truck, any fucking where but here." Karkat snarled then thrust a finger in the direction of Tavros, "And why the hell is he here? This apartment can barely fit John and I. There's no way he's gonna even fit those fat ass wheels."

"Motherfucking _please_, I will explain all this shit later just let me use your bathroom."

Perhaps it was something in Gamzee's voice that caused Karkat to falter on his anger a bit. He wasn't really angry anymore; he was just defeated. And it still wasn't Gamzee. It was just something between them, how they just watched each other for the longest moment that felt so stretched out John began to shift on his feet where he stood and Tavros bit his lip.

"...Fine. But make it motherfucking quick and turn the vent on!"

Gamzee didn't waste any time disappearing down the tiny hallway that went off on a tangent from the main room. From somewhere in the dark a door opened and then closed.

Karkat just sighed heavily, grumbled unintelligibly, and turned towards Tavros. "Are you the reason for that?"

Tavros shook his head quickly.

"Did you see the worst of it?"

Tavros glanced away, recalling how angry Gamzee had been. His rage was blistering, and he still felt the leftover feeling of panic and cowardice. "H-he was practically, uh, screaming. Very loudly, uh, in fact, and..."

"Have you ever seen him like that?"

Tavros shook his head again.

Karkat grumbled again, "Well, the fuckass you're looking at is Karkat Vantas, though I'm sure you already knew that. He's Egbert, John Egbert, biggest fucking idiot on the face of that planet, and probably the most god damn luckiest that he got a piece of this here ass." He gestured back to himself again.

John snorted, "I think you fail to see whose talking. You're to one that cries over shitty romantic comedies."

"Shut up!"

John just grinned challengingly.

"Uhh... K-karkat?" Tavros began, feeling strange for butting into their conversation.

"What?" he grouched, still glaring at John.

Tavros shifted in his chair awkwardly, "Will Gamzee, uh, be okay?"

"...Yeah, he'll be fucking fine." Karkat muttered, "He sometimes gets like this. It's no big deal, really, though he usually blows it out of the water." His eyes remained narrowed, and Tavros got the assumption he wasn't telling the full truth.

"Anyway, it's nothing to get your fucking diaper in a wedgie over. So sure, make yourself fucking comfortable or whatever. Have some complementary ramen too; it's top of the fucking class, straight out of the god forsaken dollar store. Hell, why don't you just eat all our food and sleep in our bed? Now, if you'll be so wonderful as to excuse me, I am going back to my movie, because I was so fucking rudely interrupted by some overdramatic fuckass." He turned away and stormed over to the couch and flopped himself into the cushions and started up the previously mentioned movie again.

"I guess I'll go back to my game," John shrugged, "do you play computer games at all?"

Tavros, who had been brooding and had mostly faded in the middle of Karkat's ridiculous rant, answered, "Uhh, yeah, kind of like, all the time."

"Great! You can take Karkat's old laptop and I'll take the desktop."

Tavros followed John into his and Karkat's bedroom (which was surprisingly neat) and handed him the old laptop. John was overly excited about the whole thing, since apparently Karkat didn't like playing computer games (mostly because he sucked, always lost, so he thought they were stupid). Tavros was eager to take his mind off the evening's happenings by playing with this stranger, John, who he soon discovered was pretty cool and nice, was almost as good a gamer as he was. Though he was used to RPGs, not shooters like the one they were playing, but it was still pretty fun. Though at the back of his mind, he was still worried. He was worried for Gamzee, and if he'd be able to go home in the morning.

He didn't realize how long they had been playing until Karkat came into the room. He looked grouchy, and he exchanged looks from Tavros to John before making a gesture to the living room with his thumb, "Alright cripple, please kindly get the fuck out. Gamzee is on the couch, you can bunk out there with him for tonight, but I need to get sleep, and so does John."

John whined verbally, "But Karrrrkaaaat, I don't have work tomorrow in the morning."

"When do you have classes?"

"Wellllll..." He scratched his head awkwardly and chuckled.

"Bed, fuckass." He jabbed his finger in the direction of the bed in the corner of the room.

John scowled and crossed his arms, "Pffff, fine then. G'night, Tavros, maybe we can play again soon."

"Heh... Y-yeah." Tavros agreed, returning the laptop and wheeling out of the room.

"You two better not fuck on the couch either," Karkat snapped as he closed the door behind Tavros.

Ignoring the heat in his cheeks at the previous sentence, he headed back out into the living room. He saw Gamzee laying on the couch, his legs splayed out and his arm hanging over the edge of the cushions. He stared absently at the ceiling, and like always, he had a smile on his lips. He didn't even notice Tavros's presence until he rolled a bit closer, near the couch. He finally moved and looked over. Tavros tensed up, unsure of what to say or do.

"Heeeey there," Gamzee murmured. He pushed himself up into a sitting position, only long enough to reach over and pick Tavros up from his chair. He let out an almost inhuman squeak noise of surprise as he was pushed against his chest by strong arms. The arms only remained around him for a moment in a tight hug before they went limp again. Although he didn't follow suit; his fingers curled into Gamzee's shirt and he remained very tense with nervousness.

"A-are you feeling... uh... b-better?" Tavros asked.

"Waaaaaay motherfuckin' better." Gamzee replied. His familiar drawled voice was back, and his lazier way of saying words was back to. He raised a hand and ran It through Tavros's mohawk, humming a little, "I hope I didn't motherfucking scare you or anything like that... Just, your dad..."

Tavros nodded, his cheek pressing against the cloth of his shirt.

"Your dad made me snap a little, sorry Tavbro. Just... Jesus christ what motherfucker treats their kid like that?"

"...I-I don't know. I have, um, gotten used to it over the years though..."

"That ain't even a proper motherfuckin' justification." Gamzee replies, his voice attempting to harden but it just ends up drawling out like usual.

"...I-I was just a little surprised, by the uh, way you acted. I wasn't... expecting that..."

"I'm sorry, brother..." Gamzee stretched a sigh out and trailed his fingers up and down Tavros's back. "I hadn't been feeling well earlier today for... reasons... I don't motherfuckin' know, but your dad just pissed me off... Anyway, I hope you don't mind, bro, but I'd rather not talk about it..."

"O-okay..."

"B-but, uh... Gamzee?"

"Hmmm?"

"Y-you took me away before I could, uh, ask my d-dad what he meant."

Gamzee looked down at him, his glazed eyes narrowed a little with confusion. "What do ya mean?"

"I... I wasn't sure if I was kicked out or, uh, I don't know. It wasn't very, um, c-clear."

"Doesn't matter."

"Wh-what? Gamzee, where am I supposed to l-live if he kicks me out?" Tavros tried to pull away, though a hand kept him down, "I don't have enough money, to uh, rent even a s-small apartment like this!"

Gamzee rolled his head and then put his hands on either one of Tavros's cheeks, "No need to worry motherfucker. You can just live with me."

"W-what? I-I could not do that, I mean, uh, it's not like I wouldn't want to live with you, or uh, anything, just, well..." Tavros bit his lip; just the idea of living with Gamzee... They had only known each other half a year... Wasn't that sort of strange? Yeah, it was strange. It wasn't that he didn't trust Gamzee, because he damn well did, more than most other people, probably more than Nepeta or Aradia.

But he still couldn't do that. No. No. No. No.

But if his dad kicked him out what choice did he have?

"We can worry about it in the morning, motherfucker, s'alright?" Gamzee interrupted his thought process. He looked as tired as Tavros realized he felt.

"W-where, uh, should I sleep?" On the floor he guessed, but he asked anyway.

"Karkat left us a blanket, such a nice motherfucker." Gamzee giggled as reached over the side of the couch and dragged the blanket balled up on the top. He draped it over their bodies to word off chills. He didn't think he could sleep like this, even though he just did it the previous night (which was by accident!) But he pressed his head against Gamzee's chest anyway, trying to hid his furious blush.

"You alright, Tavbro?"

"...Yeah."

"Good." Gamzee took him by the chin and kissed him once. Twice. A third time. The fourth was far more stretched out, and it actually left them taking deeper breaths than normal.

"G'night, brother."

"Good night..."


	20. Chapter 20

_**sorrysorrysorry for not updating. i could go into detail why, but i won't. sort of a short update for reasons, because i originally wanted to go somewhere last chapter but i ended up going in a completely different direction and my timeline is a little fucked up. i should be on track by chapter 22 or so though. i'll do my best to update quickly after this as well.**_

**_#arghwhatiswritingafanfiction #whatiswriting #whatis_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>At Fault: Chapter 20<em>**

Morning arrived.

He didn't really want to wake up at all that morning, but as Tavros shifted on top of him and as Karkat began storming around the house in preparation for the day, he peeled his eyes open regrettably. Pale light streamed into the dark living room from the kitchen and went right into his eyes, causing his head to scream and eyes to sting. Though, once his eyes adjusted, he noticed Karkat puttering around in the kitchen. He went from one counter to the next, mumbling just loud enough for Gamzee's ears to detect. Grinning a little mischievously, he carefully wrapped his arms tight around Tavros and lifted himself off the couch. He turned, and placed Tavros as gently and quietly as possible down onto the cushions.

The younger man shifted and muttered in his sleep, and for a moment Gamzee was scared he woke him, but then Tavros simply turned onto his side and dug his face into the cushions of the couch. It was _adorable _and as much as Gamzee wanted to stick around, he knew he had to address another situation first. Turning, he walked quietly across the living room and into the kitchen. Karkat had his back to him as he messed with something on the far counter. Looked like he was spreading something on toast maybe for a simple breakfast. The taller man moved his lanky body across the kitchen and quickly wrapped his arms around Karkat before he could move or even know what was going on.

He yelped in surprise, jumping at least half a foot into the air.

"-What the fuck- Oh my fucking hell- what the shit are you even doing in here, you god damn fucking pothead," Karkat sputtered uncontrollably as he dropped the knife and bread he had in his hand onto the counter. "I thought I was going to get assraped by some fatass or some shit, holy..."

Gamzee just giggled at his best friend and plopped his chin on his head, causing the smaller man to growl threateningly, "Get off me you shit-stain, and do me a fucking favor and go die in a ditch somewhere. Does scaring me until I shit my own pants really that god damn great? Because, news flash, it really fucking isn't."

"Aww, don't be such a sour-ass, you're gonna motherfuckin' wake Tavros, and he's all getting his adorable on in there."

"Do you even know what grammar is cockmuncher?"

"Of course."

There was an irritated grunt, "Get the hell off," Karkat elbowed him lightly in the gut and shooed him away, "That's gay."

"What?"

"What you were doing, you dickfucking jackass!"

Gamzee appeared confused, "...You mean hugging my best friend?" he contemplated as he scratched at his head.

"From behind. With your chin on my head. Yes. Gay."

Gamzee shrugged, "Well, I thought that's what you were, and it's just a brother getting his friendly on."

"_Not_ a homosexual for you, go choke on an ass." Karkat shoved past him to the coffee pot on the opposite counter and pulled it off the burner, "How was your sleep? I hope it was terrible."

"Pretty motherfuckin' peaceful actually. Though kind of stiff since I couldn't move around- Tavros decided to get his snuggle all on last night so I couldn't go anywhere."

Karkat rolled his eyes dramatically, and he made sure that Gamzee saw, "Woe is fucking you. Could've just kicked him to the floor?"

"Now why would I do that?" Gamzee asked in a confused manner, "No way to treat your motherfuckin' boyfriend."

Karkat cocked his eyebrows a little, "So this thing with that cripple is legit? About fucking time."

"His name's Tavros, not 'cripple'," Gamzee corrected, his voice a little sharp for a second "And yeah, it is."

"Fucking great. Wonderful. Are you going to move out of my apartment then, and into the perfect four bedroom family home in suburban America, have three kids, a dog, and live out your life perfectly now?"

"Well I dunno about the kids part... I mean none of us have a-"

Karkat whipped around, cutting him off, "Gamzee, it's called fucking sarcasm."

"Oh. Can't always tell if you're serious or not, brother."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Usually most of the fucking time I'm a sarcastic dick, you know that."

Gamzee frowned and reached over with a hand, placing it on his shoulder, "You need to work on that."

"Fucking _what_?"

"Your anger."

Karkat snorted and pushed his hand away, "I don't NEED to WORK on ANYTHING."

"I just motherfuckin' worry about you. We've been tight bros for like, what, ten years now?"

"Nice to know you can fucking count and that stupid shit hasn't dissolved all your brain cells."

Gamzee sighed and reached out to Karkat, pulling him into a tight hug. Karkat tried to struggle, but in the end melted into it, "Yeah. Whatever." He muttered into Gamzee's shirt. His voice wasn't so hostile now, though it was still edged with a normal growl.

"Love ya, bro."

"You're being gay again."

"I meant as a brother."

"Still fucking gay as shit."

Karkat finally shoved him away and went off to continue his routine, claiming that Gamzee set him back by at least five minutes, which yes, could be 'the end of the god damn fucking world.'

Gamzee poured himself some coffee (he wasn't a fan of it, but it was only that, milk or water that was available, and the milk didn't look very up-to-date) and went back out into the living room. It was still mostly bathed in darkness save for the light from the kitchen, but Gamzee could still see Tavros clearly. He was curled up on the couch where Gamzee left him, his hands curled in under his chin and his face half-hidden by cushions.

Jesus fucks, he was just so cute, Gamzee thought. He didn't know how he scored such an adorable boyfriend, but he wasn't planning on letting him get away anytime soon. Gamzee put his coffee down on the table next to the couch and sat down on the end opposite Tavros. Yes, so adorable, and so tempting. The older man knew he shouldn't try anything, but Tavros was just so... Tavros.

At that moment, however, Tavros shifted again. He muttered something incoherent before blinking his eyes open. With a very wide, child-like yawn, he pushed himself up into a sitting position and rubbed one drooped eye with a fist. He looked so confused and tired, and his eyes were dazed. Gamzee couldn't help but lean forward to put his forehead against his boyfriend's, smiling a little bit as Tavros let out a surprised and maybe a little addled squeak at the contact. Too cute, too cute, Gamzee planted a kiss on his nose, and then his cheek, and the side of his mouth, and finally his mouth. Despite Tavros being half-asleep, it seemed he was willing to kiss back. It was sloppier than usual, probably because Tavros didn't quite seem fully awake yet... Maybe it was a bit hasty as well, but Gamzee didn't mind. Tavros's lips were soft and very addicting.

As they kissed, Tavros still half-asleep, they seemed to be getting closerr The older man was leaning lower and lower into the kiss, his body gradually getting closer as well. Tavros's lazy hand moved into Gamzee's tangled hair and he actually began pushing their lips even closer, causing their noses to bump repeatedly. The contact deepened, and it only grew more sloppy as the need grew more furious. When Gamzee nibbled Tavros's bottom lip and coaxed his lips open, he slid his tongue in. He wasn't denied entry, quite the contrary in fact; Tavros's tongue met his in the middle, and the two appendages slid across one another in a sloppy, clumsy dance as their lips moved as well. Their hands weren't motionless; Gamzee had managed to inch his body closer to Tavros's until they were close. His hands were on either side of the smaller man, while his where all over Gamzee's hair. One trailed down to his neck; his fingertips danced along the sensitive skin of Gamzee's neck.

Somehow, they unbalanced, and ended up slipping down into the cushions. Tavros was on his back, Gamzee was above him, pressing close. Wherever Tavros got this newfound confidence, Gamzee sort of liked it, and if he hadn't known better, he would have assumed Tavros had practiced. The way his lips and tongue moved so well and in sync with his. It felt so good to kiss him like this, for him to not suddenly break away and say he wasn't ready. Gamzee always respected that, but, a sloppy make-out is what he really needed. As Gamzee took his teeth to Tavros's bottom lip and gave it a nibble, Tavros made the strangest, cutest and most arousing moan all in one, tiny noise that bubbled from his mouth. It was quiet, almost inaudible, but Gamzee heard it and shuddered. He hadn't heard a sound like that from the younger man yet. Only in his mind a d his fantasies had he heard such a noise, and they were never real, just a fabrication of his inner mind. But that was the real thing and _wow _he could listen to it all day.

He bit a little harder to try and coax another groan, and he did. His lips trailed and dragged across Tavros's jawline, taking a nip and a lick every so often so the sensitive skin was lightly marked with small pinches and patches of red. Tavros's hands were on his neck now, trailing around his collar bone. His hand lifted a little, so only one finger ran across the bone very faintly. Another shudder from Gamzee; Tavros was being awfully touchy. Must have came with his new confidence that seemed to have sprouted out of nowhere. Gamzee's mouth latched back onto Tavros's lips after leaving a trail of small red nips along his jawline, and their tongues were rolling together once more. His lips were swollen from the barrage of kisses, and his tongue grew less sloppy and more precise. His hands were on Gamzee's sides; his fingers dug in as they moved down his sides and along his back until they were planted on Gamzee's _ass. _

Gamzee was surprised by the intimate and sexual gesture. He wasn't used to Tavros being so straight forward, and he finally broke away. Another needy moan from Tavros as he tried to follow, but he couldn't lift himself up off the couch at that point in time. His face was flushed with a light shade of red, and his eyes were half-lidded; the way he looked up at Gamzee was a combination of pure cuteness or arousal. His mouth was open a little, as if he were trying to say something, but the words fumbled out of his mouth too quiet and distorted to understand. Too cute, too hot, Gamzee reached down to take his lips into a kiss once again but a voice behind him halted his actions:

"I told you two not to fuck on the couch, holy shit,"

Gamzee smirked at his best friend's voice, "Sorry Karbro," he replied as he pushed himself up and away from Tavros.

"You are not fucking sorry. If you were, you hadn't been fucking making out on _my_ couch. Any further and I would have thrown it out the window, Jesus fucks..."

Meanwhile, below him, Tavros seemed to have woken up more, because his eyes were wide, and his lips pursed together as he watched Karkat, "Oh... U-uh sorry Karkat! Oh goodness, uh, umm, shit, I t-thought I was asleep... and dreaming..."

"Really?" Gamzee asked, wondering if he should be offended by the statement.

"Uhh.. yeah! I-I thought I was, uh, dreaming," he admitted, his voice turning awkward.

"Did you know it was motherfuckin' me you were kissin'?"

"O-of course...!"

Gamzee grinned as Tavros hid his face in his shoulder, "Ahh... Th-this is really, maybe, awkward." He mumbled almost inaudible into the fabric of his shirt.

"Not really, Tavbro. I mean, if Karkat hadn't been a butt and interrupted us, would you have continued?"

Gamzee could _hear_ him swallow it was so struggled and loud, "U-uh, yes..."

"How far?"

"..."

Gamzee chuckled again and put his face into Tavros's hair, "You don't have the answer that, motherfucker."

There was a very quiet moment before Tavros answered in a mumble, "A-all the way."

Wow, now he had to sort of resent his best friend for interrupting, because the thought of going all the way caused a shudder down his spine, and he had to force his mind not to imagine more of those little moans and clumsy hands and a naked Tavros beneath him.

Tavros shifted uncomfortably, "U-uh... E-er... C-can you, maybe, not press so c-close? It feels, uh, a little, maybe, perhaps, weird..." He sounded even more embarrassed before.

"Hmmm? Oh, sorry 'bout that..." Gamzee almost forget how turned on he'd become. Damn him and his imagination and his adorable as shit boyfriend that actually managed to give him a bit of a boner in such a short time. He pulled away, and sat awkwardly on the opposite end of the couch, trying to imagine something else for sake of the situation.

Tavros pushed himself into a sitting position again; his face was bright red, and he refused to look at Gamzee for even a moment. Rather, his eyes were all over the floors, walls, and really anywhere else besides Gamzee himself. It was sort of cute, but he felt as if he made the situation really awkward.

Oh wait, he did.

"Have a good sleep, Tavbro?"

"Uhh, w-what?" Tavros looked startled, "Oh! Yeah, uh, I did. Thanks for asking."

"Gooooooood," Gamzee slurred out, "And hey, I have a few motherfuckin' errands to run regarding my move. Do you wanna stay here while I do them, or...?"

"Uhh.. hah... well, um, I'd prefer it is you'd maybe t-take me home," Tavros replied as he scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably.

Gamzee's eyes hardened. "I'd really prefer not to Tavbro... I don't like you being around your dad. Isn't good for your motherfuckin' esteem and shit."

"I-I know but, well, I just would feel better if I could go home..."

"You know you can just live with me. I'm all up getting my own apartment here soon, it'll be wicked, just you and me living in a motherfuckin' place of our own."

"... B-but... Uh, I can't live with you Gamzee. I mean, I would like to, but, uh, I just can't." He tried to explain, looking a little flustered. "You can't support both you and me... I can't, uh, go out and get a job, to help. It wouldn't be, um, right..."

"I don't mind though, Tavbro," Gamzee explained as he reached out and took Tavros's hand in a vain attempt to try and convince him, "I just don't want to see you motherfuckin' all up and sad when you're around your dick of a father..."

Tavros bit his lip, but finally looked Gamzee in the eye. He appeared as if he struggled with his next words: "I h-have dealt with his crap for, uh... years now. I can, uh, take it, I am strong enough to take it! And I deserve it."

"I know your strong Tavbro- wait." Gamzee halted his sentence, his eyes narrowing dangerously, "No, you do not motherfucking deserve the bullshit he said to you."

"Y-yes, I do."

"No you motherfuckin' don't. Don't let his crap get into your head. Not cool."

"Gamzee..."

"You do not deserve it! Motherfuckin' listen to me Tav, you don't deserve it. Never say you do deserve it. No child should hear such motherfuckin' vile words from their own parents,"

"-Gamzee!" Tavros's voice raised, and he looked a little frustrated, "It's okay. I... Y-you don't... You don't know what even, h-happened."

The older man frowned; his tightened his grip on Tavros's hand. "What do you motherfuckin' mean?"

"Nothing... Just... I uh, appreciate, what you're saying... B-but, I-I can handle it. I-it is okay."

"It isn't okay..."

Tavros sighed; it looked like he was straining to keep up the conversation. His eyebrows furrowed, and he wasn't meeting Gamzee's eyes anymore. Gamzee was a little frustrated, and if he hadn't still felt sedated from his medicine, he would be screaming right now, mostly because of Tavros's father, but his anger would have filtered straight onto Tavros.

He shuffled closer, and pulled Tavros into a hug. He really, really didn't want to take him home to that jackass. Gamzee rarely hated anybody, but Tavros's dad takes the cake. Dads that didn't take care of their kids properly was always a strange pet-peeve of his. Perhaps it was a manifestation of his own distain or regret towards his own father. He never really decided whether he missed his father or hated him for never being around. Perhaps it was a combination; but Gamzee rarely explored his feelings towards his dad. He preferred to ignore them and leave them be if at all possible.

"I guess I'll take you back home then," Gamzee told him regrettably.

After their embrace lasted a few minutes longer, they let go. They had a bit of breakfast with Karkat and John before leaving. It was an uncomfortable silence in the truck as Gamzee drove Tavros home. He came to a halt in front of Tavros's house, and after helping him out of the truck, he kissed him goodbye before watching him head up the walkway. Tavros told him earlier that he would face the wrath of his father alone.

With a sigh, he got back into the truck and drove away. He was sure to keep his phone on, however, in case anything went bad and he needed to go back to pick Tavros up.


	21. Chapter 21

Things were surprisingly normal. Every day was mundane, no excitement, nothing strange, just normality.

When Tavros had arrived home after his father's and Gamzee's he was prepared for the worst. He was scared out of his utter mind when he knocked on the door and stared at the doorknob, waiting for it to turn. He heard the groan of Gamzee's car as he drove away and he felt terribly alone, but he didn't want to drag his friend into this mess. When his dad opened the door, Tavros was a little surprised because it was in the middle of a workday. His father glared at him, and it began.

Tavros was allowed inside, but they ended up in the kitchen. It was a huge discussion, and all Tavros could do from breaking down was to imagine Gamzee was there. He managed to compose himself keeping that thought in mind, and he met his dad eye to eye with every argument. His father was beyond pissed about finding out his son was gay. His mom's death was brought up several times, as well as how sick and disgusting homosexuality was. He wasn't very happy about Gamzee being over three years older either, how he looked like he was completely stoned all the time, and spoke with such disregard to authority it was sickening. But his father didn't care so much about the boyfriend himself, just that his boyfriend was a _boy_ with a _penis_, and how Tavros was also a _boy_ with a _penis_.

In the end, his dad broke down. It was terrifying to watch as he crippled over the kitchen table and broke into very unmanly tears. Screamed with frustration and anger. Tavros wasn't sure what he should do other than ask what was wrong and hope that his father would calm down. He whimpered about Tavros's mother being dead, and how his life was in complete and utter ruin. Tavros felt moved and pitied, and ended up shedding some tears as well. For a barrage of reasons though: for one, his father was having a mental breakdown. Two: for his mother, for being a disappointment, as his father said. Three: for his father getting so worked up over something so mundane as his sexuality. Four: Gamzee wasn't there and he really sort of wished he was, because he really, really needed a hug. The whole thing lasted several hours, and finally, his father returned. He wasn't very up to the idea of letting Tavros stay, and he was very prickly about the whole scene with Gamzee, but he didn't throw Tavros out like he feared. Tavros returned to his room then, to update his friends on the matter. He was sure to go to Aradia, who was luckily online, and explain the whole situation. She offered good comfort about the whole thing.

He couldn't get a hold of Nepeta though, he he didn't expect to. Even the several previous days she never answered pesters or her phone, so Tavros just gave up all together.

School would start up soon, Senior year. He felt rather old, but he kept in mind that Gamzee might be there for another year of student-teaching.

The day he returned, he didn't hear from Gamzee until that night. He was informed that he would be moving into his new apartment over the next week. Tavros got to see the apartment as well; it was pretty small. He went through a small entrance area before opening into the very small kitchen and living room. A hallway that went off on a tangent lead to the bedroom, bathroom, and closet, along with a hot water heater and the washer/dryer. Everything was old, and there was a crack in the ceiling near the kitchen. The carpet was supposed to be white, and maybe it was at one point, but now it was dotted with nothing but brown and gray. Gamzee didn't care though, he said him getting apartment at all was a miracle. Tavros spent a whole day helping him move in, though he wasn't much help with actually moving things, so he occupied himself with putting things in cabinets and dressers. He also unpacked all of Gamzee's movies that he kept, along with lots of other junk that Tavros wondered how Gamzee kept in his room alone.

That night, Tavros made the mistake of staying and helping a bit too late, and ended up nearly falling asleep at some point during unpacking some old magazines. He wanted to go home, but Gamzee just took him and put him on his bed. After a sloppy make-out, they ended up asleep. Tavros woke up in a heap of embarrassment, not quite remembering what happened the night prior, whether they only made-out or went farther. Gamzee had to shoosh him with gentle paps and cuddles to keep him from losing all of his shit.

He helped Gamzee unpack the rest of the morning, and move the last of his things from the car to the apartment before Gamzee drove him home. His father was outraged and flipping his tables over in a fit of anger. He snarled at Tavros about fucking a guy. When Tavros insisted it didn't go farther then make-outs, his father spun on his heels and stormed away like a child. For once, Tavros didn't seem hurt by his dad's words.

The day of reckoning came when he went to school. Gamzee had to drive him before heading over the college, since his father refused to do it anymore. When Gamzee tried to kiss him goodbye, Tavros shied away. He was already regarded as a freak but his classmates, he didn't need to be known as a gay as well. He hated the first day, even though it was easy. He enjoyed seeing Jade again, who greeted him eagerly with a big hug. He saw Nepeta again, and Equius, and although he just saw them a week prior, Nepeta still acted over-dramatic and almost tackled him out of his wheelchair the second she saw him wheeling up to her.

His classes were easy, naturally, because it was Senior year. He had a feeling he wouldn't be doing much in most of his classes aside from note-taking. Rather, he had to prepare for the project at the end of the year every Senior had to do based on their career choice.

Only Tavros had no idea what the do for it. He couldn't work many places; he didn't have any job skills. He never even tried to think about it in previous years, but his worry grew as the school year began to progress. It was nearly October when Tavros noticed many his classmates were well on their way into their project. He grew worried, and decided after school one day as Gamzee picked him up, to ask him about it.

"Oh yeah, I remember doing that shit," Gamzee nodded, "I did my project by tutoring kids at the elementary school. Cool little motherfuckers, only real problem I had was trying not to cuss around 'em."

"I-I dunno what I should do my project on. I've never, uh, worked before. And because of..." He patted his nubby legs rather than actually saying it, "I can't really get a job anyway. Who hires an eighteen-year-old in a wheelchair?"

Gamzee scowled a little, "You know, Tavbro, that shouldn't keep you from following your dreams and what you wanna do."

Tavros wished he could believe those words, but he couldn't. He was simply being realistic about it. He nodded anyway and smiled a little.

"You know you're motherfuckin' good with computers," He mused, "And don't you like those little fluffy animals and shit? Could be a vet or something."

"N-not that good with computers; I've had, uh, so many viruses on my old thing. But, maybe... It'd be cool to, uh, work with animals! I-I never really thought about, uh, that as an option."

Gamzee cast him a sidelong grin before turning his eyes back to the road, "And somehow I'll teach you how to motherfuckin' drive. You'll see, Tavbro."

Tavros shrugged, "D-dunno how I'll do that without... Uh, legs. But, perhaps, I can take your word for it..."

The older man looked a little conflicted for a moment, but he ended up smiling at Tavros anyway, and they continued talking.

It was those little conversations that helped him so much. He never really discussed these things with other people, and sometimes it just stressed him. He found himself going on and on about his interest in animals and how being a vet or something would be pretty interesting. That it would suit him well, and Gamzee actually listened. He had that dopey grin on his face as he nodded and heard what Tavros said, and he offered advice back. When he stopped his truck in front of the park, Tavros cut off in mid-sentence (he was talking about cats or something along those lines), to give Gamzee a confused look.

"Motherfuckin' nice day, isn't it? And it's not cold or anything- I figured its motherfuckin' a good time to just chill outside, yeah?" Gamzee offered, "Unless you don't want to." He added.

"Oh, uh, sure. T-that sounds cool," Tavros nodded eagerly. He had to agree; for once it was a nice day. It seemed lately the late fall air had begun to grow cold, and the sun grew weaker and weaker each day. For once, dark gray clouds didn't cover the sky, and the sun was relatively strong. There was a chilling breeze, but Tavros just tugged on his sweatshirt that he remembered to grab that morning,

Once he was in his wheelchair and wheeling himself alongside Gamzee, he happened to say, "So sounds like you're all on board with this Veterinarian stuff, brother."

"Umm, I, uh, don't know. I mean, it's a good idea, I just never thought about it before." Tavros shrugged, "I-I never really thought about jobs, uh, or driving or doing normal things that might, uh, worry other teenagers, probably."

Gamzee frowned as he veered and began walking off the path and into the grass. Tavros tried to follow, but found his wheelchair didn't like the grass much. The older man turned when Tavros wasn't at his side, and he came back to push him along the softly slopping hill, "Sorry about that motherfucker."

"It's, uh, okay."

"I hope you don't mind me getting all my nosy on, and I might have already motherfuckin' asked this, but how long exactly have you been in this here wheelchair?"

"Oh. Uhhh…" Tavros nibbled the inside of his mouth at the question. "I guess it's been over, uh… ten years now."

"Ten years? Long time, bro…"

"Yeah. It was… uh…" He tried to suppress the memories of the scorching heat, the screeching of tires, the impact of metal… "It… was from a… a car accident, I-I guess."

"You guess?"

Tavros shrugged, "I don't, uh… think it was an a-accident. Um…" he found his voice actually faltered, so he quickly shook his head, "It isn't, that important."

"You sure, brother?" Gamzee had pushed him to the top of the gentle hill where an oak grew. The leaves had turned an array of reds and oranges and had begun to fall. The multi-colored leaves littered the ground, and with every step of Gamzee's foot and every roll of Tavros's wheels, the leaves crunched beneath them. The older man plopped down into the leaves and the grass, causing an even louder crunch. "Sorry, Tavbro, if I upset you with my question." He told him as he slipped back in a languid manner and laid down on the ground.

"N-no, you didn't," Tavros replied with a small smile. He just sat and stared at Gamzee for a while, who laid on the ground all splayed out and eyes eyes half-lidded. He had the small smile on his face of pure contentment.

He was so peaceful right there, and Tavros wondered if it really came that easily. Tavros never pried about Gamzee's family life, and he was never told. He knew the basics, however: Gamzee didn't have a mother, and his father wasn't around, and his brother wasn't the nicest of people it seemed. By society's standards, Gamzee was a little... off. Tavros wasn't ignorant to that; he cussed everywhere and he always looked like his head was in the clouds. Tavros wasn't sure he remembered ever seeing Gamzee with brushed hair and unless he was dressing for work, he seemed to mostly wear pajama pants. Like now. Indigo colored too-long pajama pants that probably wouldn't be accepted in more social occasions most likely, along with a shirt that had a tear or two in it. Tavros sighed; he wondered how Gamzee's life had been prior to meeting him. He wondered if it really was so easy as he made it seem to be. Was it really a 'bucket of miracles' or 'bitchtits wicked'?

"You okay, Tavbro? You've been up and staring at me for a while now, kinda making all uncomfortable and shit." Gamzee asked, shaking Tavros from his thoughts. He was looking up at the man in the wheelchair curiously, if not a bit worried.

"Heh... Y-yeah, I am, uh, fine." Tavros nodded. He struggled from his chair, slithering to the ground clumsily, and sat in the grass next to his boyfriend with a grin, "I was just, uh, thinking about stuff is all."

"Mmmm?" Gamzee regarded him a little mischievously, "What sort of motherfuckin' stuff, brother?"

"-n-not bad stuff, or, uh, weird stuff! Just... stuff...?" He offered, unsure of how to eleberate, "Just... thinking about, uh, y-you, I guess." Well, that was the truth, but he didn't want to appear creepy or something.

The older man's lips grew to a wide grin, and he reached out to take Tavros's hand, "You're such a motherfuckin' cutie, Tavbro, how'd I score such an adorable boyfriend?"

Tavros failed to hide his growing blush by trying to look away, "Uhhh, t-thank you, but I... I don't think I, uh, am, those things. I am j-just me, very, uh, ordinary and, awkward."

"You're very far from ordinary, brother," Gamzee told him as he stroked his thumb lazily over Tavros's knuckles, "And you aren't awkward either. You're motherfuckin' Tavbro. My Tavbro."

"Uhh... a-and, you're... um... my Gamzee?" Tavros tried to offer, still feeling rather flustered.

"What, you claimin' me, bro?" He feigned seriousness, and for a moment Tavros assumed it was true and jumped. "Heh, it's okay. I am motherfuckin' yours, brother." He pushed himself up into a sitting position: his hair was in dissaray and leaves fluttered down from where they had been latched to his shirt and wild tangles. He made a gesture to try and kiss Tavros, but backed away when he looked even more uncomfortable than before.

"I, uh, don't know, Gamzee, I mean, uhhh..." Tavros could see the look on Gamzee's face. He knew why Tavros was acting this way; he was still nervous about showing public displays of affection for fear of being judged, or people throwing jeers or something at them. They held hands, and hugged, but it rarely went beyond that, because he just couldn't handle it. He didn't want to cause discomfort to Gamzee, or to other people.

"C'mon Tavbro. We're chillin' under a tree, nobodies paying attention to us." Gamzee tried to reason with a lazy grin.

Tavros still looked rather uncomfortable, and he refused to meet Gamzee's eyes. But, his grip on the man's hand tightened.

"Just a quick one?" He offered, and after a few moments of hesitation, he nodded and let Gamzee grin and lean forward to kiss him. It was an innocent peck that lasted a few more seconds than necessary, but it still left Tavros shifting back and forth and looking off into the middle distance. He really shouldn't _care,_ but he _did, _he didn't want anybody to call them gay or faggots or queers, and he didn't want to attract unwanted negative attention; he received enough of that from his legs. If it wasn't the hate for being different, it was pity for being different. He wasn't about to say he sort of liked being pitied, but he didn't need it. Tavros was perfectly fine as he was; it was just a slight inconvenience, like a speech impediment. He was strong, he didn't need that pity. But he didn't want the hate and disgust either. He just wanted to be regarded like everybody else, just another person, who has their friends and hobbies and lives their life accordingly.

Sadly people weren't _like_ that.

He knew he'd be judged the moment they saw him, whether he was with his boyfriend or in a wheelchair. As long as he was different, he wouldn't get that respect.

"Brooooo... You okay?" Gamzee took him from his thoughts again.

"Y-yeah... Just thinking, uh, again. About stuff..."

"What sorta stuff?"

Tavros shrugged, "Just... Just stuff..."

"...Not motherfuckin' bad stuff I hope."

He shook his head a little, "Not real bad stuff."

Gamzee watched him closely before shuffling closer and wrapping his free arm around his waist and pulling him onto his lap. He relaxed a little, despite himself and his earlier thoughts and put his head against Gamzee's neck. He leaned back against the giant oak tree and let out a long sigh. Tavros hoped that nobody would take note of them, since they were half-concealed by the shade of the tree, and nobody even seemed to be around. The only visitors to the park were scattered all around the park, which was comforting. Gamzee managed to steal a few kisses as the silence stretched out and was replaced with small talk. Tavros told him little things that happened throughout the day and Gamzee just chuckled and ran his hand through his hair.

He liked being here, and soon all his discomfort from prior was gone, and replaced with a certain sort of bliss that didn't always come easily. They remained there for maybe a few hours, only moving a few times to shift positions so their limbs wouldn't stiffen. A few people passed, but none of them really regarded them.

He probably would have dozed off if he hadn't remembered he had a stack of homework today. He let out a long sigh as they untangled themselves and headed home. Gamzee walked him to his front door, and promptly gave him a sloppy kiss before leaving. Tavros watched him as he got back into his truck, revved the engine and drive away. He wished he could spend more time with Gamzee, because usually, those hours he spent with his boyfriend were some of the best.

* * *

><p>an: thank you draguhn for editing this AND uploading this. i am about to fall off the edge of cliff of tired. this is literally the most boring fill-in chapter ever but they need to do normal stuff i guess. can't wait to write the next chapter ellele okay xoxo

b/n: No problem Cookie! Just send me a message any time you need a chapter beta'd. I'll be happy to look over it. 3


	22. Chapter 22

_**/tears stream down my face as I write this chapter to the AMAZING new album that makes me cry in a very unmanly-like manner**_

_**oh **_**double update**_** because no updates for a few days probably. if i do update i'd have to sap wifi from mcdonalds or barnes and noble while i'm at my grandmas until friday and then sakuracon on saturday.**_

_**oh and sorry for sparse updates. like i said, i haven't been well lately. also, chapter 23 was supposed to be 22 but i ended up shoving it to 23 and shoving this in here and i don't even know what's happening iT'S 5 AM aND I HAVEN'T EATEN IN DAYS so i aM pERHAPs a LITtLe off**_

_**/OLLIES OUT**_

* * *

><p><strong><em>At Fault: Chapter 22<em>**

Tavros shoved his hand into the bag, pulled out a cheese-puff, and ate it quickly and with more mirth than probably necessary. His eyes were concentrating on his computer screen. An eyebrow twitched, his lips went downward, and he finally groaned and shoved his mouse and keyboard. Tavros wasn't one to get frustrated often, but this boss in FLARP was kicking his and Aradia's butts. It was embarrassing, considering it really should be _this much trouble. _As experienced FLARPers, both him and his team-mate should have been able to take down the enemy with nothing more than a small challenge (it was a fairly strong enemy, even for experienced FLARPers).

He noticed it wasn't just him that was practically dead-weight. Aradia wasn't at the top of her game either. His eyebrows furrowed, and he grabbed another cheese-puff and shoved it into his mouth, (they were awfully addicting, he found), and logged off of FLARP, only to open pesterchum. He only had to wait a few minutes for Aradia to get the message and log onto pesterchum as well.

–**apocalypseArisen[AA] began pestering adiosToreador[AT]-**

AA: it w0uld be easier if we just g0t mics

AT: yEAH, pROBABLY,

AA: asl0

AA: i might want t0 p0int 0ut that we arent d0ing so well

AA: as in

AA: l0sing s0 hard it hurts

AA: i think my character is actually l0wering levels

AA: and i d0nt think that is p0ssible

AT: i KNOW, i FEEL THE SAME WAY, aBOUT MY CHARACTER,

AT: }:o(

AA: is there a reas0n y0u are n0t 0n the t0p of y0ur game

AT: i AM NOT THE ONLY ONE, tO BE BLAMED,

AT: i DON'T THINK,

AT: yOU HAVE BEEN MAKING A LOT OF MISTAKES, aS WELL,

AA: yes yes i kn0w

AA: i am not blaming you tavr0s

AA: i am c0ncerned y0u arent feeling well

AT: oH WELL, uH, iN THAT CASE,

AT: tHANK YOU, fOR THE CONCERN, iT IS VERY APPRECIATED,

AT: i MIGHT BE A LITTLE OFF,

AT: i GUESS,

AA: h0w c0me

AA: i w0uld ask if its y0ur dad but i know y0u are used t0 him

AT: yEAH i AM, fOR THE MOST PART,

AT: iT'S JUST,

AT: i AM NOT SURE, hIS JABS ARE REALLY, bECOMING OFF-PUTTING,

AT: lIKE, mOSTLY ABOUT GAMZEE, aND MY, sEXUALITY, i GUESS

AA: that y0ure gay

AT: uH,

AT: yEAH,

AT: wELL, yOU KNOW MY GRANDMA SOMETIMES, sENDS ME MONEY

AT: bECAUSE i AM UNABLE TO GET MONEY MYSELF,

AT: bECAUSE OF MY LEGS, i CANNOT GET A JOB,

AA: yes i recall y0u telling me

AA: your grandm0ther is a very nice w0man

AT: yES, sHE IS, vERY MUCH SO,

AT: fRANKLY i DON'T KNOW WHAT i WOULD DO WITHOUT HER KINDNESS,

AT: aNYWAY, sHE SENT ME A SMALL AMOUNT OF MONEY, lIKE USUAL,

AT: bECAUSE SHE SENDS IT EVERY MONTH,

AT: mORE OR LESS,

AT: mY DAD, uH, wAS UPSET OVER IT,

AA: h0w s0

AT: hE SAID,

AT: tHAT mY GRANDMA SHOWS ME TOO MUCH KINDNESS,

AT: cONSIDERING,,,, UH,,,,,

AT: aND HE SAID, THAT IF,

AT: mY GRANDMA FOUND OUT i HAD A BOYFRIEND,

AT: tHAT i GUESS, i WAS GAY,

AT: THAT SHE'D HATE ME,

AT: hE SAID THAT AND,

AT: uH, OTHER THINGS, i'D RATHER NOT REPEAT,

AA: and this b0thered y0u

AA: i d0nt kn0w h0w a w0man that l0ves y0u s0 much w0uld suddenly hate y0u based 0n y0ur sexuality

AA: is she h0m0ph0bic

AT: nO,

AT: wELL i DON'T KNOW,

AT: i NEVER, aSKED,

AT: aNYWAY EVER SINCE MY DAD SAID THAT,

AT: uH, eARLIER TODAY,

AT: i HAVE BEEN SORT OF BOTHERED, aND AFRAID, i GUESS

AT: i DO NOT WANT MY GRANDMA TO HATE ME,

AT: fOR HAVING A BOYFRIEND,

AT: lIKE MY DAD SAYS,

AT: tRUTHFULLY, i DO NOT THINK, i COULD HANDLE THAT,

AT: pROBABLY,

AT: nO, i AM PRETTY SURE i COULDN'T,

AA: why d0nt you call her

AA: and ask her

AT: i AM SCARED TO DO SO,

AA: y0u sh0uldnt be

AT: i KNOW, i AM AWARE, bUT,

AT: iT IS STILL,

AT: wELL,

AT: iT MAKES ME ALL NERVOUS,

AA; talk to her with a friend ar0und

AA: maybe gamzee

AT: i ACTUALLY DON'T THINK THAT,

AT: iS THE BEST OF, UH, IDEAS,

AT: iF SHE PISSES HIM OFF SOMEHOW, uH,

AT: wELL,

AT: i DON'T WANT HIM TO,

AA: 0kay

AA: i get it

AA: i am sorry i wish i c0uld help

AT: nO, iT HELPS TO HAVE SOMEONE TO TALK TO,

AT: aND TO GET A REPONSE,

AT: i TOLD TINKERBULL BUT YOU KNOW,,,, hE CAN'T TALK,,,

AA: tinkerbull your stuffed bull thing

AA: yes well

AA: i am always here t0 help!

AT: tHAT IS GOOD,

AT: }:)

AT: nOW THAT, i HAVE TOLD YOU MY PROBLEMS, wHAT ABOUT YOU,

AA: 0h

AA: i dunno it isnt really important

AT: iT MADE YOU MESS UP AT FLARP,

AT: i AM SORRY, i DO NOT BELIEVE YOU,

AA: sharp, tavr0s, sharp

AA: well its just a thing with s0llux

AA: been acting weird lately

AT: hOW,

AA: hes been s0rt 0f distant

AA: 0ff

AA: he g0t upset from talking t0 s0mebody on the computer the other day

AA: when I looked at the name of the persons pesterchum handle it was caligulasAquarium

AA: d0nt kn0w if y0u might kn0w that pers0n

AA: anyway s0llux was really freaking 0ut and getting angry 0ver it

AA: upset as in standing up

AA: slamming his fingers 0nto the keyboard and gr0wling at the screen

AA: he also g0t a bad headache, w0rse than n0rmal

AA: and then when i tried t0 speak with him

AA: he g0t angry with me and left

AT: ,,, tHAT,

AT: sOUNDS BAD,

AT: i WOULDN'T IMAGINE WHY HE WOULD, yELL AT YOU

AT: yOU SHOULDN'T BE A PERSON TO BE YELLED AT,

AA: thank y0u

AA: i think

AA: it wasnt him yelling that was a pr0blem

AA: i am just c0ncerned for him

AA: he tends to hurt himself and 0thers when hes upset

AT: pERHAPS YOU SHOULD, cONFRONT HIM ABOUT IT,

AA: perhaps i sh0uld

AA: im sure he will come t0 me

AA: when he is ready

AT: wELL, oKAY,

AT: i AM SURE HE WILL TOO, eVEN THOUGH, i DON'T KNOW HIM, AT ALL,

AT: bUT I AM STILL OFFERING COMFORT, bEST i CAN,

AA: and it is appreciated

AA: i am n0t sure whether we sh0uld c0ntinue

AA: perhaps a break to c0ntemplate 0ur current pr0blems will help

AT: mAYBE,

AT: iN THAT CASE, sINCE WE WON'T PLAY ANYMORE, pERHAPS i SHOULD CONTACT MY GRANDMOTHER RIGHT NOW,

AA: alright

AA: g00d luck

AT: tHANKS, hOWEVER, i DON'T KNOW IF i WILL NEED THAT LUCK, oR NOT,

AT: bUT STILL THANK YOU, iN ANY CASE,

AT: aND i HOPE sOLLUX COMES AROUND,

AT: oKAY,

AT: bYE,

AA: bye!

**-apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased pestering adiosToreador[AT]-**

Tavros minimized pesterchum and rolled away from the computer. It was a quick search around his room before he found his cell phone, which he was surprised it even had battery considering he hadn't charged it in days. Rolling back to the computer, he had his thumb over the contact 'Grandma'. His hesitation was understandable, but he really wished he could get it done and over with. As mentioned previously, his conversation with his father earlier had left him shaken up to the point of him not being able to play FLARP properly. That much was true, because he had even begun crying after he made it back to his room.

Sighing, he thought back to what his dad had said, how his grandma wouldn't love him anymore just because he had a boyfriend. Old people usually were homophobic, it seemed, or that was society's stereotype anyway. It was enough tough to convince him to set down his phone again with a long sigh. Luckily, a certain somebody logged onto pesterchum at that moment, so he wasted no time in opening a chat.

**-adiosToreador[AT] began pester terminallyCapricious[TC]-**

AT: hEY, }:)

TC: hEeEEeEeEy My aDoRaBlE mOtHeRfUcKeR.

TC: cAn'T tAlK vErY lOnG, mInD yOu.

AT: oH,

AT: hOW COME,

AT: oH WAIT!

AT: dO YOU HAVE WORK TODAY,

TC: hElLs yEs.

AT: hOW HAS THAT, bEEN GOING,

AT: wE HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE TO SIT, aND CATCH UP ON THINGS, i DON'T THINK ANYWAY,

AT: wE SHOULD PROBABLY DO THAT, aT SOME POINT,

TC: yEaH.

TC: wElL, wOrKiNg aT a dAyCaRe hAs It'S mOtHeRfUcKIn uPs AnD dOwNs.

AT: dIDN'T YOU WANT TO WORK WITH, uH, kIDS, nOT TODDLERS AND BABIES,

TC: yEaH bRoThEr.

TC: I wAnTeD tO tEaCh ThEm ShIt.

TC: I pReTtY mUcH jUsT mAkE sUrE tHeY dOn'T sWaLlOw mOtHeRfUcKiNg PaStE.

TC: aWwWwW, bRoThEr, tHeY aRe So CuTe AnD cHiLl ThOuGh. :o)

TC: nOt As CuTe As YoU, mOtHeRfUcKeR.

TC: nObOdIeS aS cUtE aS yOu. 3

AT: aHAH,,, tHANKS, 3

AT: I AM GLAD YOU ARE FITTING IN, sO WELL,

AT: I SHOULD ALSO POINT OUT,

AT: tHAT USING 'mOTHERFUCKER', pROBABLY ISN'T SMART, aROUND KIDS,

TC: YeAh bRo, I KnOw. I uSuAlLy GoTtA wAtCh OuT fOr tHaT.

TC: yOu sHoUlD cOmE vIsIt tHeSe mOtHeRfUcKeRs SoMeTiMe ThOuGh.

AT: hEH, mAYBE, iF THAT IS ALRIGHT,

TC: Of CoUrSe It Is.

TC: i WouLd SaY nOw bUt I aM cHiLlInG iN tHe PaRkInG lOt.

TC: MaYbE a mOtHeRfUcKiN nOtHeR tImE.  
>AT: uH, yEAH, oKAY,<p>

AT: I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING, aNYWAY,

TC: oH?

AT: yEAH, i HAVE TO CALL MY GRANDMA,

TC: hOw cOmE?

TC: sHe oKaY?

AT: SHE'S FINE,

AT: NO NEED FOR, CONCERN

AT: i JUST HAVE TO CALL HER AND,

AT: wELL,

AT: jUST SOMETHING MY DAD SAID TO ME GOT ME WORRIED,

AT: i HAVE TO TELL MY GRANDMA

AT: uH,

AT: aBOUT US,

TC: wHaT tHe mOtHeRfUcK aBoUt uS?

TC: nOt uP aNd AnOtHeR mOthErFuCkIn HoMoPhObE.

AT: nO,

AT: wELL i DO NOT KNOW,

AT: tHAT IS WHY i AM CALLING,

TC: wAiT. wHaT tHe mOtHeRfUcK dId YoUr DaD sAy?

AT: uH,

AT: cAN I TELL YOU, LATER,

AT: i DON'T WANT YOU TO GET WORKED UP OVER IT,

AT: rIGHT BEFORE GOING INTO WORK,

AT: yOU JUST, UH, GOT THAT JOB, I DO NOT WANT YOU TO GET FIRED FROM IT,

AT: bECAUSE YOU WERE ANGRY,

TC: …

TC: aLrIgHt bRoTheR, wHaTeVeR yOu SaY.

TC: I gOtTa fLy, bUt I wIlL StAy OnLiNe, iN cAsE yOu Up AnD nEeD mE.

TC: aNd hEy, i'Ll SwInG bY aFtEr WoRk.

TC: iF tHaT's ChIlL.

AT: uH, yEAH! vERY CHILL,

AT: lIKE ICE, sORT OF CHILL,

TC: hoNkKkKkKkKk.

TC: cYa, bRo.

TC: 3

AT: yEAH, bYe, 3

Tavros didn't leave the chat, but rather just minimized it. Even only a few minutes with Gamzee managed to calm his nerves some. But when he picked up his phone again to call his Grandma, he stared at it for the longest time before sighing and putting it back down on his desk. No. he couldn't risk hate from his grandmother too.

He settled with pulling out his homework.

* * *

><p>Tavros remained downstairs after he finished his homework. Although his dad, he noticed, spent a lot of time home these days, he was always in the garage and away from Tavros, so he could comfortably venture downstairs and watch home TV on the bigger screen. He had taken a certain liking to My Little Pony (with much pressure from the Internet, he actually decided to give it a try one day and decided it wasn't so bad), along with some of the other cartoons that showed. It was a little immature, and maybe embarrassing, but he supposed he could just not tell anybody and void the embarrassment.<p>

When he heard the faint sound of heavy rap and the familiar croaking of a truck, he knew Gamzee was here. Instinctively, he glanced around the couch for the remote. Only, it wasn't immediately there. The remote seemed to have floated off into another dimension, or at least, out of his grasp, (which in retrospect might have well have been another dimension).

Tavros specifically left the front door open so he didn't have to inconvenience anybody by locking it when Gamzee was coming by.

The man knocked once, respectfully, and then came into the house. He noticed Tavros sitting on the couch almost at once, and his small smile rose to a grin, "Hey, Tavbro!" He meandered in and shut the door. Tavros had to admit, he looked nicer than usual. He was wearing a black shirt with a respectable collar underneath a throw-over unzipped sweatshirt, his big dark purple one that he often wore, along with a pair of basic black pants. At least he was trying to dress a little better for going to work, though his hair didn't really help. Tavros learned recently that if you take away the hair, there was an array of piercings on his ears. He never noticed that many before, and they looked kind of nice, but perhaps intimidating for the workplace.

Tavros, who was a little embarrassed caught staring both at Gamzee, and watching a girl kid's show about ponies, pressed back into the couch cushions, offering Gamzee a shy smile, "Hey, Gamzee!"

"Mind if I up and join you?"

"G-go ahead." Tavros patted the cushion next to him.

Gamzee usually didn't like to chill around Tavros's house much for obvious reasons, but Tavros sort of liked it when he did. As long as his dad didn't come and act like a jerk, it was fine.

Gamzee made a scene of strolling over and plopping down into the cushions next to Tavros. His arm fell onto his shoulder and he leaned against the younger man's shoulder. "Sweet show you got going on," He commented with a dopey grin. "So, how'd that talk with your grandma go?"

"Oh. Ummm... I decided against it, for reasons."

"...Reasons?" Gamzee repeated with a slight eyebrow raise.

"Yeah, reasons."

"...Wanna specify that, bro? Or...?"

Tavros shrugged a little, nervously messing with the hem of his brown hoodie that he felt like shrinking into and hiding. "Eh... I-I was just a little nervous, is all."

Gamzee plopped his face into Tavros's unruly mohawk that really needed to be trimmed, "Why, Tavbro?"

"I just don't want her to be disappointed in me too, like how Dad and Grandpa are."

Tavros noticed Gamzee's hand clench a little, probably out of anger or annoyance, "I hope you know you're not a motherfucking disappointment."

"You... are going to call me a miracle?"

"Yes. You're a motherfuckin' miracle, brother."

Tavros sighed, and was caught by surprise when Gamzee shifted, pulled his arm out from behind him, and placed his hands on either side of his face. "Don't ever up and listen to those people, alright? You're motherfuckin' miraculous, Tavbro. Do you want me to up and talk to her for you, motherfucker?"

He shook his head, his cheeks getting squished by Gamzee's hands, "I-it's okay!" he mumbled. "I will be sure to uh, tell her soon, I promise."

Gamzee's dopey smile returned, and seemingly all seriousness was gone as he planted a kiss on Tavros's nose. And another on his forehead, and he took his hand off Tavros's cheek, only to place another kiss on the hot surface. By now, Tavros's slightly freckled tanned cheeks were bright red, and Gamzee appeared very amused by this.

He sat back properly against the back of the couch and pulled Tavros onto his lap. He squeaked as Gamzee's hands tickled him a little in the process of moving him. He was rather nervous being in such a position, but he soon relaxed into it and leaned his head against Gamzee's shoulder and began to slip back into My Little Pony.

It was just getting to the part where Twilight Sparkle was learning another lesson on friendship, (which Tavros really liked to listen to apply to his own friendships), when Gamzee let out a small grunt-like sound. Sort of like a snore. Tavros turned to look at him, and smiled when he saw that Gamzee had fallen into a doze. The smaller man, who sat on his lap, turned a little awkwardly so he could sit up and study his boyfriend's face. He had a long nose, which Tavros wanted to kiss, and sort of stretched-out eyebrows. His lips were only in a small frown because his mouth was relaxed as he slept. His eyes were closed tightly shut, half hidden by bangs that were tamed for once. Reaching up very carefully, Tavros pushed the hair from his eyes and smiled to see the short lashes slightly disrupt from Tavros's breathing. He hadn't realized how close he was to Gamzee's face, but he hardly cared. He was the most adorable thing in the world right now, just sitting there sleeping so softly.

How he fell asleep though, Tavros wasn't sure. Perhaps he grew very bored of show, her maybe he was overworked. It was a possibility, after all, not only did he attend to college (he only had one more year before he earned his degree) he had a job on the side, and supported Tavros half-time because he insisted on buying him food and letting him stay over at his apartment as much as possible.

Ah, he really, really was cute. Tavros put his forehead to Gamzee's very carefully and kissed him on the nose, just with enough softness that it wouldn't wake Gamzee. He hoped it wouldn't, anyway, because he really needed sleep.

Gamzee snorted in his sleep, but didn't wake.

Smiling still, Tavros adjusted himself so his head was in the space against Gamzee's shoulder and under his chin. He was content on just sitting here, listening to his boyfriend breathe deeply. He was warm, and it felt nice against Tavros's cheek. He might have fallen asleep, if not for the fact his dad could probably walk in at any time and ruin the moment.

For now though, he just cradled the time he spent peacefully with Gamzee before he eventually woke up (could have been minutes or hours, Tavros didn't know) and took his leave, saying he had some business to get to and that he couldn't take Tavros home with him for the night.

Tavros tried not to register how Gamzee up and left a lot saying he had 'business' to attend to, and never elaborated further.

* * *

><p><strong><em>BURSTS INTO SOBS I'M SORRY IF THERE ARE ERRORS i did my best to weed them out while my eyes were fuzzy from no sleep and my head was spinning<em>**


	23. Chapter 23

_**Formatting for Equius's typing style was screwed up. thanks to FF. But you know what it looks like, so. **_

_**Chapter warnings: Drug use, sexual content.**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>At Fault: Chapter 22<strong>_

The sound of the television was almost numbing. He wasn't paying particular attention to the show he was watching, which was a cartoon of some sort and didn't keep him in very long. He sort of wished he brought his PSP or something, because currently, Gamzee's attention was a little redirected at the moment, and any hope of using him as any sort of entertainment was down the drain.

Presently, the older man was doing something on his computer. He sat, leaned against him, his screen was difficult to read. They laid on his couch, doing their own business, but still enjoying each other's company. Although Gamzee had only had his apartment for a little more than two months, the place was a complete disarrayed disaster-area. Every floor in nearly every room was littered with empty bottles and cans of Faygo of every flavor. Every bag and trashcan was over-flowing with them, as well as other kinds of trash that Gamzee was too lazy to get rid of unless it actually began making the apartment smell bad. Boxes still filled with unpacked things lay in stacked piles around mainly the living room and bedroom, all overflowing with literally the most useless junk that Gamzee hadn't laid a second eye one since he bought it.

The only cleared areas was a neat path through the junk so Tavros could navigate throughout the small apartment. The path only went from the kitchen to the couch, through the bedroom and into the bathroom. Tavros usually spent a lot of time at the apartment, so it was expected there were paths so he could access all the rooms he needed. He, most of the time, ended up staying at his apartment after school, and sometimes ended up staying the night, because Gamzee was a little off from his medicine a lot of the time, and wasn't able to take him home. Tavros never tried to bother him in the process of taking it, because he was afraid what he'd come across. He already figured what Gamzee's medicine was, and he didn't need to be a part of that.

He wondered if it was time for Gamzee to get some more soon, because he seemed a little one edge. Tavros shifted a little, snuggling a bit closer to Gamzee until he smiled softly, but his eyes didn't move from the screen.

Their relationship had been rather steady. Although they had only been boyfriends for a little over a few months, they never got very physical. Only cuddling, exchanging kisses and on rare occasions sloppy make-outs, but Tavros really couldn't handle getting to touchy yet. Which was very contradicting to half his dreams, that in fact, made it uncomfortable spending the night. So far, though, he hadn't had a wet dream while here, and he hoped and _prayed_ to keep it that way. It was already growing late, he doubted he'd get to go home tonight. There was no school tomorrow either, so it hardly mattered if he stayed here.

"Hey, um, is it, uh, okay if I stay here tonight?" Tavros asked, looking over at Gamzee who was still staring rather intensely at his screen.

He smiled and closed the laptop halfway before reaching over and planting a kiss on his lips, "'Course, Tavbro, I told you, you can always motherfuckin' stay here. In fact, I wish you'd all up and just move the fuck in," He murmured, his breath brushing Tavros's neck.

"I know..." Tavros replied quietly, a little shaken from the previous kiss that managed to take most of the breath out of him. "B-but I don't, so uh, I figured, I uh, should have asked."

"Don't ever have to motherfuckin' ask, because I'll never say no," Gamzee chuckled, planting a kiss on Tavros's nose and then buried his face in his fluffy mohawk.

"Uh, alright..." Tavros replied, resting his head against Gamzee's shoulder.

They sat like that for a while, but it seemed it couldn't last, because Gamzee shifted again and flipped open his laptop. Once he seemed to read the content on the screen, however, he frowned and mumbled something incoherent. Wanting to pry, but deciding not to, Tavros just closed his eyes and moved his face until it was hidden in Gamzee's bony shoulder.

He was dislodged, however, when Gamzee set his computer down on the floor next to the couch and stood up, leaving tavros nearly unbalancing and falling over. He watched the older man stretch his limbs a little before looking back at him, "I'll be back later, 'kay?" He said in a little disgruntled manner. Tavros nodded, and he left the living room and disappeared down the small hallway. There was a click that confirmed he was in the bedroom, and probably shouldn't be bothered.

Tavros, being a little curious, wondered what rustled Gamzee's pajamas into a twist. It seemed like a rabid decline in mood, and Tavros would be lying if he said he wasn't a little afraid. Gamzee was unpredictable, he knew, but it was very rare for any negative emotion to be filtered onto him. He _had_ been snapped at before, but every time Gamzee halted in his words and began apologizing like his life depended on it. It was almost pathetic, and Tavros always forgave him, no matter how much his words hurt prior.

Still very confused, he looked to Gamzee's laptop, which sat on the floor with the top slightly ajar. He felt like he would be prying if he looked, but he was worried about Gamzee's mood. He didn't like to see his normally carefree boyfriend upset over things. With a guilty glance at the hallway, he quickly reached down and pulled the laptop onto the couch. He opened the top all the way up, and looked around the screen or any evidence of anything negative.

He saw two pesterchum chats minimized, but other than that, nothing. Perhaps he should have left it then, but he didn't, because his curiousness was overwhelming now. He opened one of the chats, and he was confronted with a name he didn't recognize. He only saw the bottom half of the conversation before quickly minimizing it again:

CT: D- Gamzee, you are being unreasonable and f00lish about this

TC: I aM nOt. I aM beInG tHe MoSt MoTheRfUcKiN aMoUnT oF ReAsOnAbLe.

CT: D- You know I can't

CT: D- There is only so much I can do

TC: eQuIuS bRoThEr, YoU aReN't HeLpInG. I mOtHeRfuCkIn nEeD yOu To Do ThIs.

The conversation didn't appear to make any sense to him, and he felt uncomfortable scrolling up and trying to read more. So he tried the other one.

CG: YOU'RE BEING AN ASSHOLE ABOUT THIS. GAMZEE, I KNOW YOU LIKE HIM. BUT THERE IS A LIMIT.

TC: nAaAaW mAn, iT's DiFfErEnT tHaN tHaT.

CT: WHATEVER, POINT IS, YOU'E GOING TO RUIN YOUR EVERY FUCKING THING. YOU CAN'T HONESTLY JUGGLE THIS SHIT LIKE YOUR STUPID JUGGLING BALLS. IT'S TOO MUCH.

TC: I thOuGhT yOu WeRe mY bEsT bRoThEr, kArkAt, bUt YoU'rE bEiNg A mOtHeRfuCkIn dIcK.

TC: fUcK, bRb.

He wasn't expecting that; Gamzee actually snapped at Karkat. Over the last few month, Tavros discovered just how close the two of them were. They were the kind of people not only to be the same pea in the pod, but to be genetically fused together. Not literally, of course, but they were close,a nd apparently had been so for a while. Gamzee wouldn't just snap at him for no good reason, so it worried Tavros even more. But, Gamzee was probably calming himself down right now, so there would be no use in rolling after him to interrogate him about it.. Tavros gave a click of his tongue, mostly out of disappointment, and threw himself back into the couch. So much for that idea. Well, he guessed he would just have to wait for Gamzee to feel better.

He was fading in and out of the cartoons he was watching for a good hour before he noticed a difference in the air. It smelled different; it smelled sort of like Gamzee's clothing. And it was the small that was always so thick in Gamzee's room from time to time, and it made Tavros uncomfortable. The small got worse within minutes.

And he felt rather light-headed.

Mumbling incoherently to himself, he pushed off the couch and into his wheelchair and moved into the tiny hallway;. The bedroom's door was slightly ajar, allowing a very subtle and hardly noticeable film of smoke to swirl out into the rest of the apartment. Sighing heavily, if not a bit exasperatedly, he pushed the door all the way open and pushed himself inside. A large frameless bed took up nearly half of the room. Aside from it, only a dresser, bedside table and some plastic drawers and a lot of junk took up the room. He barely could roll himself in towards the bed because the clutter-less path was so narrow. Laying on the bed, limbs for the most part splayed out in each direction, one arm in the air holding a joint between his forefinger and thumb. His face was faced up, and that dopey grin was plastered to his face. For some odd reason, he was in his boxers and his normal t-shirt, but his long pants he was wearing seemed to have vanished off his legs. Tavros was sitting on his wheelchair next to him for several seconds before he even registered the amputee's presence.

"Oh, heeeeeeey, brother," Gamzee slurred out, giving Tavros a lazy wave, "Didn't notice you there. Does a motherfucker up and need something?"

"Uh... Hello, Gamzee. I was just, u, m-making sure you were alright, because your door was open..." Tavros began to explain... Where was he going with this? "Uhh.. I could smell it in the living room..." He glanced a little worriedly at the joint. He figured out a while back what Gamzee referred to as medicine, and he never butted in or questioned it, and it he didn't particularly worry about an unhealthy addiction; the man only smoked one every other day, or when his mood appeared a little off. Still, raised in an anti-drug society, he felt a little off about it.

"Sorry brother... Didn't notice I kept the motherfuckin' door open. Damn..."

"Ahhh.. W-well, uh, I will just, um, close it then."

"Wait, bro," Gamzee stopped him with a very languid wave of his hand that lifted from the bed, but the collapsed again. When Tavros looked at him expectedly he said: "You sure you're okay, brother? Seem a little motherfuckin' off and shit."

"Uh, I guess, I am, um, fine?" Tavros was a little surprised by the question, if not a little confused. Actually, a lot confused.

"Just seem so uptight lately," Gamzee admitted, "I don't like seeing my cute as fuck boyfriend like that."

"Uhh.. ahahaa..." he couldn't really form a reply right now, so he just scratched his head with a hand.

Gamzee shifted a little in the bed, and patted the spot next to him, "Why don't you lay down, Tavbro? I'm almost done with this, no need to be worried." He swayed his preoccupied hand that still hung in the air.

"I don't, uh, know, I-I already, uuuuuhhh, feel kinda weird from the s-smoke..." He mumbled queietly. Maybe Gamzee did't hear, but he reached over anyway and tugged at Tavros's shirt with pitiful strength until Tavros gave in and shuffled off his wheelchair awkwardly, and slid onto the bed next to Gamzee. Smoke curled around him like a creeper's hand as he leaned back against the pillows piled up against the wall.

"Ahhh, Tavbro, you're such a motherfuckin' miracle, y'know?" Gamzee said as he leaned against Tavros's shoulder, "Miiiiiiraaaacllleee."

Tavros smiled a little, and let out a giggle, "Y-you remind me all, uh, the time... it is, nice."

"Because it's true, brother, so motherfuckin' true." Gamzee murmured, turning and press his face against Tavros's neck. "I wish you motherfuckin' up and knew that." His breath brushed the younger man's neck, soft as lips.

Tavros shivered, "Y-you, uh, tell me eeeeeeeenough-" His last word was stretched out unnecessarily as he plopped his head back on the pillows so more neck was exposed and he looked to the ceiling.

"Hope it ain't just useless words to you, they have a purpose and truth bro..." Gamzee went on.

"Gaaaaaaaamzee, I feel, uh, kinda w-eh-ird.

"Is it a miraculous sort of weird?"

"Uhhhh... dunno," Tavros suddenly snickered. "But the ceiling is doing the tumblies. Seeeeeeee?" His arm swung up, and his finger pointed at, to a normal person, a perfectly fine ceiling.

"Whoaaaa, duddddeee... Looks like a motherfuckin' normal ceiling?"

Tavros's snickered turned into full-blown laughter, "Are you... blind, Gamzee? Looks all spinny and stuff. Too many Lucky Charms, too many sugary cereals, the uh, ceiling ate, and now it is hyper~"

Gamzee grinned, but still appeared a little worried, "Do ceilings eat Tav?"

"Of coooooooourse they do, silly-butt," He slapped Gamzee harmlessly in the shoulder for his obliviousness and stupidity. "Can't let them, uh, staaaaaaaarve, that'd be kinda mean..."

"Maybe if we motherfuckin' starved it, it wouldn't do the tumblies?" He offered hopefully.

"Uhhhh... That's is meeeeeeean. We can't starve the ceiling or it'll die a horrible death of starve." Tavros went out, his hand swaying back and forth as he pointed at the ceiling. "It wouldn't be fair to the dog, anyway..."

"We have a motherfuckin' dog?"

"We can't very well get a fish, Gamzee, they rustle my mcnuggies."

Gamzee went off into a bout of chuckles, "Where even the motherfuck did you get that?"

He blinked, "I... I dunno..." he admitted in a confused tone. "But duuuuuude, I didn't, uhhhhh, never realized, how much like, a clown, you looked..."

"Whaaaaaaaat?

"You're, uhhh, cutieeeeeeee~" Tavros giggled again as he brought his hands up and cupped them on either side of Gamzee's face, "Now you look like a, uhhh... something... it glubs..."

"Fish?"

"...Yes! 'cause you rustle my mcnuggies." He laughed and planted a sloppy kiss on Gamzee's lips. He went on with his snickers as he trailed his tongue, very messily, over Gamzee's jawbone and neck.

"You're all getting' your motherfuckin' frisky on or what?" Gamzee drawled.

"Nooooooo!" Tavros squeaked, "You just taste so delicious."

He grinned, "I motherfuckin' do? Like what?"

"Uhhh... chicken nuggets," Tavros murmured as he bit Gamzee's collar bone, "I looooooove those." He shuddered from the teeth-to-skin contact. Tavros promptly crawled on top of his chest, staring down at him through glazed-over eyes, "I still , uh, feel really weird... I don't even... I shouldn't have, uh, came in here but..."

"I even finished the joint in the time you've been motherfuckin' talking," Gamzee waved his free hand in Tavros's face. He took the hand and inspected it a little confusedly before he pressed his lips to it.

"I got all this dizzy aaaaaaaall oooooooover," Tavros snorted, a grin crawling across his face again as he trailed his tongue on Gamzee's finger, causing a shudder. "You stiiiiiiil taste like nuggets. I really, uh, like those," the pointless laughter continued until he dropped Gamzee's hand. He gasped, "Sorry! I probably hurt it bad, it fell off a cliff..." He frowned and took the hand back in his grasp, "I'm such baaaaaaaad boyfriend."

Gamzee gave him a look, "Brother, no motherfuckin' worries, it's fine," he used his hand to stroke the side of Tavros's cheek. They both grinned. "'Sides, you're a motherfuckin' bitchtits boyfriend, Tav."

He began laughing again, with a little too much mirth maybe than the situation called for, "Biiiiiiitchtits huh..." He leaned down and plopped his forehead on Gamzee's and kissed him on the nose, and then down to the lips. It was clumsy and sloppy and a bit slow, due to his fuzzy brain and lack of coherency.

He kissed back by pushing upwards against his lips with his own, and the to melded together. Almost immediately he pushed his tongue into Tavros's mouth, and was met with an equally excited tongue. They kissed, lips moving rapidly, if not almost inexperienced. Tavros seemed he couldn't concentrate, because occasionally he started giggling out of nowhere and biting Gamzee's lip.

Gamzee grinned widely, pulling away for only a moment and put his arms around Tavros's body and hugged him close. Though, Tavros realized this new position gave away how hard he had grown. It wasn't much, but it was enough to be obvious to even Gamzee. He was coherent enough to blush terribly and try to move away, but he ended up rolling off the top of Gamzee with a squeak. Nervousness gone, he began sniggering and buried his face into Gamzee's side, "Sorrrrrrrry, I have, uh, something."

Gamzee shifted, rolled over, and put his elbows on either side of Tavros's shoulders. They sunk down into the mattress as he grinned at the smaller man who was now effectively pinned between his elbows.

He let out some sort of pathetic moan when Gamzee licked his neck and nipped at the skin. It was over-sensitive in this area, and with Tavros so fuzzy in the head, all he could really feel were those lips. It was like a dream almost, unreal, as Gamzee sucked his neck and ran his lips luxuriously over his jawline and the shell of his ear. Tavros made a sort of whining sound, his face red and his mind almost completely gone.

When Gamzee dipped his hips a little, an evident erection brushed the side of Tavros, though he didn't really notice, Gamzee hitched his breath suddenly, looking at if the sudden friction took him by surprise.

"Tavbro mind if I up and motherfuckin' take this off?" He murmured into Tavros's ear while he tugged at the hem of his shirt.

"Nnnghh..." There wasn't an intelligent reply, but it didn't exactly sound like denial.

The older men sat up and hooked his fingers on the underside of Tavros's shirt. He trailed the digits up Tavros's stomach and torso, the shirt getting caught and moving up with them until it was bundled up around Tavros's armpits. His eyes, half-lidded, watched as Gamzee moved his fingers up and down along the skin, with each stroke another shudder was brought from Tavros. He mewled almost like a kitten, and squirmed lazily when Gamzee's fingers spent more time on his nipples. The skin was surprisingly sensitive, which took Tavros by surprise; he never realized just how sensitive they were until a pair of lips planted themselves square on the nub. This brought on an even louder sound, that sounded more like a squeak or shout.

His tongue and lips were all over Tavros's torso and stomach, "damn Tavbro... you're rock-hard..." Gamzee muttered when he finally lifted himself from the now hiccy-covered stomach.

"Ahhhhhaaah... Reeeeeeally?" Tavros giggled.

Gamzee brought himself to Tavros's face, "You sure you want me to do this, brother? You can barely even handle motherfuckin' sloppy make-outs."

"Hmmmm..." Tavros replied. His eyes weren't even open anymore, they lay closed, his mouth hooked up in a Gamzee-like smile.

"Tavvvbrooo..." Gamzee murmured, "I motherfuckin' love everything about you."

"Hmmm..."

_Gamzee took him in whole. Tavros was watching, panting, his body trembling a little. His nubby legs were pantless and splayed as far as they could go. The ugly scars around the base were the operation took place made Tavros cringe. He had never shown them to anyone, but somehow in this situation it didn't matter, because currently, his dick was in the mouth of his felt that tongue press hard against the shaft. The slick, wet appendage worked perfectly with the blood-filled lifted his head, dragging his __lips along the length of Tavros's cock. It made a popping sound as he released it._

Tavros was moaning like a beast, and if he actually had any sense about him, he'd be extremely embarrassed. Gamzee smirked; he loved seeing his boyfriend like this. His moans were so like the ones in his dreams, but somehow, different. They were real, and he was causing them. Somehow, even with the face of someone getting head, he still looked adorable. But something was a little off; his eyes were closed, and his movements were minimal. Well, maybe he was just enjoying it that much. Gamzee took Tavros's cock in his hand and licked the length again.

_ That tongue was doing miraculous things again. It was so soft against his hardness, and so wet against the pre-cum and salvia covered surface. Every nerve was twitching to release, but he still had a long way to go. Even as the expert mouth moved across the over-sensitive skin. He groaned again; it felt so real, as if it wasn't a dream, but Tavros knew it was a ream. Everything floated, everything made no sense, at the same time, completely coherent. _

He had grown so hard himself, he didn't even notice how he bucked his hips to have his erection grind against the mattress, but god motherfucking damn Tavros was up and making the best motherfucking sounds with that mouth, and he tasted so good it was unbelievable. He wanted to bad to stroke himself to this, but he knew he shouldn't He was here to please Tavros right now, not himself. He wanted Tavros to experience it. With that thought in mind, his fingers curled around Tavros's balls, and he gently massaged them while his mouth took the other man's length. He sucked his cheeks in and bobbed his head...

_No other dream had been quite as real and exhilarating. He couldn't stop his grunts or whines as he dug his fingers into the sheets below and tell try to tell Gamzee what he was doing was unbelievable, but every word ended up going off as some sort of moaning tangent. Especially when the extra pressure was added on his balls; he shuddered greatly. That mouth moved so perfectly... He was getting so close now; the feeling was pooling in his lower region. _

Tavros was mumbling something real now. Something along the lines of:

"Gah... em... zee... i-i cah... can't, to much I- i- ohhh god," every word was sleep-slurred, but his hips managed to get up a little, despite the difficulty, and his back was arching. He was close now, Gamzee knew, and he began pumping what he couldn't take in with his mouth with his hand.

"Gaah- I- It- I- aanhhnnn-" Whatever he was saying broke off into a uncontrolled scream as he came into Gamzee's mouth. He tried not to cough or choke as the stream of cum shot into his mouth. He was sure to milk Tavros until he was done and left in a panting mess.

_He was so close- so close, he could feel himself getting closer. It pooled closer and closer, he just wanted Gamzee to go faster and suck harder and get everything out because it was right there, he could feel it and he needed to release do bad. He as trying to say something, but he couldn't, he just screamed when he came, right into Gamzee's mouth._

He was still rock-hard, but he was a good boyfriend, and he moved his way back up to Tavros's face and planted a peaceful kiss on his nose. Tavros sighed quietly, but his eyes didn't open.

"Broooo...?" Gamzee murmured as he pushed his face into Tavros's neck, "Are you really motherfuckin' asleep?"

Tavros's unintelligent reply was a snore, and he shifted a little.

"You're a motherfuckin' cutie, you know that?" Gamzee chuckled. He maneuvered them both until they were under some blankets. It wasn't late, but he didn't mind cuddling up to a cute motherfucker like Tavros. He wrapped his arms around the younger man's midsection and snuggled in close, trying with all his mind to ignore the erection that was beginning to go away. He just sat there and inhaled Tavros's certain scent with his eyes closed and a content smile on his face.

* * *

><p><strong><em>i can't write high tavros ollies out_**


	24. Chapter 24

_**Sorry for late update. Sighssss my brain wasn't in a good place this last week. **_

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><p><em><strong> At Fault: Chapter 24<strong>_

Like most mornings, he didn't want to particularly get out of bed to start the day, but this time he had a legitimate reason. His lanky arms were curled around a much more petit body; it fit carefully in his arms and snuggled against his chest, breathing very slowly and quietly. With each breath, a small brush of air tickled Gamzee's neck, causing him to grin widely and giggle a few times. His giggles disrupted the breathing of the smaller man momentarily before he grunted a little and tucked deeper into his chest. It was so motherfucking cute the way he all up and tried to cling tighter in his sleep, even though the two were already snuggled together like a puzzle piece.

Gamzee was holding the moment; he hadn't gotta much sleep in the night, and he woke up very early to the sound of Tavros's mumbling in his sleep. He was saying Gamzee's name is a sort of gasping way, but not really a sexual one. More like an endearing way. He squeezed his arms a little, securing Tavros in the moment and keeping him as close as possible.

Gamzee was roused from his light dozing when he heard a very small, subtle rumble. It sounded like a stomach growling, and he smiled a little, realizing his little bro was probably hungry. He strained his neck and looked over at the digital clock on his bedside table. It was still early in the morning, but, they both fell asleep before normal going-to-bed hours. Gamzee shifted and very gently pulled himself up, securing Tavros to his chest. He was getting heavier, Gamzee realized, but that was probably because he was feeding him so much. Tavros was finally growing a little pudgy around the stomach, rather than being overly skinny. Gamzee enjoyed passing along his pies and junk food and Faygo to the younger man as often as possible. Though, with such nubby legs he remained light enough for Gamzee to carry almost like a child.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and pushed himself up, turned, and gently set Tavros back into the blankets. He let out a light snore in his sleep, but the second Gamzee released him he awkwardly rolled over and clenched at the sheets. The older man smiled warmly, reached down, and kissed him on the cheek before meandering across the room and out the door. He gently shut it most of the way on his way out, so his noises wouldn't wake his little bro up.

He went into the kitchen and sort of stopped and leaned against the small table nestled in one corner. He observed each of the cupboards in turn and scrunched his face. God, he should probably up and make something for his bro. He did like cooking shit, for other people that was. But he just ran out of pie ingredients lately, and he didn't really keep much else in the apartment for cooking. Gamzee began looking through the cupboards, which for the most part, were empty.

When he was at the store a week or two ago, he tugged Tavros along (mostly because he didn't want his little bro to go home to that dick of a dad), and he made him get actual food and not just more pudding and Faygo. He made him get things like bread, milk, basic cooking ingredients. It was adorable, really, the way he fretted over his well-being. His argument was, that, Gamzee needed to properly eat and not live off of unhealthy food.

In the end, he had the supplies to make pancakes. Somehow. At least, he assumed they were the right ingredients.

He pulled out his laptop and looked online just to be safe. While he mixed the stuff together in a bowl he forgot he had, he also browsed the internet for some sort of stair ramp. Any sort of ramp that could be used for a flight of stairs, because really, the fact Tavros had to crawl up and down his stairs was ridiculous. His his father got away with it all these years was unacceptable. It he wasn't so dazed at the moment he probably would have been more angry. His mind was still laced with haze from the previous night, which was for the best, and kept him from becoming temperamental. As time ticked on, he finished the batter and began heating it into thin cakes in the pan. And unfortunately, he couldn't find any ramps of the sort. Perhaps soon, however, ramps wouldn't be needed.

The smell, or maybe the noise, must have roused Tavros from sleep, because eventually he came wheeling into the small kitchen, his face mostly blank with a hazy layer of drowsiness. He was still, for the most part, asleep, and regarded Gamzee with an almost elated look before cocking his head to the side like a confused kitten, "W-whatcha doin'?"

"Making you some breakfast, bro," Gamzee replied with a grin, "Since you didn't up and have dinner last night, figured you'd want more than just some sugary cereal or pudding."

"...Ohhhhh...," Tavros answered, his voice rather slurred.

"You look a little motherfuckin' out of it."

He yawned widely, then rubbed his eyes in the cutest motherfucking way and said, "Y-yeah, I am a little, uh, tired..."

Gamzee left the pan for only a moment, long enough to give Tavros a peck on the lips, "Well good morning you adorable little motherfucker. Sleep well?"

He seemed a bit more awake after the kiss, "Uh, yeah, I did actually. I-I was really tired and out of it...," he mumbled as he watched Gamzee finish heating the pancakes. "I-I don't even remember going to sleep, a least, I don't think I do."

"Do you remember anything?" Gamzee asked, recalling very well what happened last night.

"...Ehhh...," Tavros looked like he was thinking about it rather hard, so Gamzee gave his mohawk a rustle.

"S'alright, don't have to try too hard motherfucker," he grinned widely and turned back around, digging into the cupboards to find some plastic plates.

"Haven't you gotten any actual, uh, plates?" Tavros asked with a small frown.

"Naw motherfucker, too much trouble in up and washing the little fuckers. Easier to use plastic."

"But you have pans," He pointedly looked at the stove where the pancakes sat in the frying pan.

"Can't up and cook in plastic, it'd all melt and shit."

"Y-you're missing the point."

Gamzee shook his head, "I know what you're up and doin' motherfucker, ain't nothing you have to go and rustle yourself over, s'all good."

Tavros had a tendency to just notice these things and take concern, which was extremely endearing, but Gamzee hated it when Tavros got all upset over such simple things. Like how he rarely cleaned his apartment, or only drank Faygo. Tavros insisted he drank some water, so he ended up getting bottled water at the store. It was gross and tasteless, but it was for Tavros.

Tavros always seemed to notice when he was tired too. He was in his last year of college, or at least until he got his degree, and had begun taking on a job that could be rather stressful at times, even for him. Gamzee wasn't a stressful man, but sometimes he was pushed enough to become tired. Tavros always seemed to notice it, even though Gamzee liked to assume he never showed

Also, he just in general worried about him on a daily basis, even when he wasn't feeling well due to something his dad said, or he got a bad grade on a test, he still fretted for Gamzee more than himself, which, as endearing as it was, worried Gamzee as well. He didn't want his little bro to fret over him.

He flopped the pancakes onto the plastic plate, then coated them butter. "Sorry, don't have any syrup, hope you don't mind."

"Oh..! O-of course I don't mind."

Gamzee put the plastic plate on the table, and moved one of the chairs away so Tavros had room to to wheel up to the table. While he got situated at the table, Gamzee served himself and plopped down heavily in his chair. He wasn't very used to working so hard in the morning, but he figured making breakfast for his boyfriend was the thing to do.

Gamzee was a good cook, he just lacked any real motivation. Gamzee preferred marinating his tongue with the most unhealthy, sugary junk foods he could get his hands on, rather than cooking. He always had a knack for it, since he developed a taste for pies and other baked goods. Though John scrutinized him for it, claiming that if he made another pie or cake or brownie or anything for Karkat that he would throw a tantrum. So he didn't really bake much for his best bro anymore.

He did, however, enjoy cooking for Tavros. If he wasn't so tired or unmotivated he would probably do it more often.

"Wow, uh, this is real good, Gamzee," Tavros broke Gamzee's train of thought by butting in with a grin.

"Glad to hear it, brother." He replied kindly.

They ate in relative silence, not really talking accept Tavros occasionally praised the cook of his meal.

Personally, Gamzee didn't think the pancakes were sweet enough.

Once he was finished, he leaned back in his chair and watched Tavros eat with curiosity. "You know, there's something I wanna ask you, but, I don't want you to get all nervous and shit."

He looked up, his face betraying his confusion, "Hm?" He mumbled around his fork, and he quickly swallowed before clarifying, "Uh, alright. I am sure I could handle it, though."

A flash of confidence. Gamzee enjoyed seeing that.

"Well brother, we all need to up and fuck sometime."

Perhaps not the smartest way to put it, seeing how Tavros actually managed to turn ghost white at the same time a furious blush hit his face. "Uhh... Umn..." He sounded like he was trying to say words, but they failed to form in his mouth so it ended up being useless banter.

"You okay, motherfucker? Man if you're that against it, don't wanna push you."

"N-no- it, it was, j-just sudden is all!" He squeaked, "And, rather, perhaps, intimate."

"Well yeah, bro, sex is pretty intimate."

Motherfuck, he up and made Tavros unbearably uncomfortable. He could see it all over his face and body gestures.

Tavros bit his lip, looking as if he was frantically thinking about it. Gamzee let him think; though he appeared calm and rather oblivious, his mind was hoping and praying he somehow didn't make this whole thing uncomfortable.

"Y-yeah... I-I mean, I guess," Tavros finally said, his voice fluctuating.

"I don't wanna pressure you into it, brother, I just figured you'd up and appreciate it if we talked about it a bit."

He looked up, a bit surprised, his face still red, "N-no, it's not like I haven't, uh, thought about it..."

"Oh?" Gamzee couldn't help but smile a little wider.

"W-well! It's expected, uh, right?" He asked, a bit nervously "I mean, if, if you're, d-dating someone, then thinking about them, in a more...," He hesitated, "Sexual way, is, going to happen, I think."

"Totally normally brother. I'd almost be motherfuckin' offended if you haven't thought about it."

"Heh," Tavros chuckled. "So, uh, when?"

"When what?"

"..."

"... Oh right." Gamzee scratched his head, "I dunno, never planned that shit, just sort of happens."

The red returned to Tavros's face, "So, um, you've...,"

"Hmmm? Oh, yeah, I have," Gamzee said with little interest, but then noticed Tavros's discomfort, "Aw, it didn't mean nothin', it was just... pretty casual."

It had been casual. Only with friends when they needed to blow off steam, literally. It never did mean anything, not to Gamzee anyway, he was mostly just doing favors for his friends. In a few cases he might have crushed on them, but it was never very strong.

"You haven't, bro?"

"Uh? N-no... you know, you're the only one I've ever dated." His voice turned to a mumble, and he dragged his plastic fork around the plate.

"Hey, hey, don't look so motherfuckin' down, bro. I guess that all means you're pure and shit." Gamzee said, hoping he didn't upset his little bro.

Tavros shrugged, and then after a few moments of hesitation he smiled a little, "Yeah. I guess.

"It'll just be all the more motherfuckin's special when we do it."

"Heh.. Y-yeah! But.. uh... I don't.."

When he trailed off, Gamzee raised his eyebrows, "Don't what?"

"...Well, I don't, uh, know how...?" Tavros bit his lip, "I mean... I-I get the gist of it... But... Uhh... I dunno if I am ready for that."

"Don't worry, Tavbro, I ain't out to push you, it was just a motherfucking suggestion."

"I-I want to! Just, not ready, I guess," He sighed heavily, and a bit shakily.

"We don't have to do shit until you're ready." Gamzee replied. He wasn't out to pressure his bro or anything, he just wanted this whole thing out on the table where they could both see it.

He sat up and went to the fridge and pulled out a couple of Faygos. He tossed one at Tavros, "Motherfuckin' cheers."

"For, uh, what?" Tavros asked as he opened it.

"Motherfuckin' life and shit."

Tavros blinked, then grinned widely, "Y-yeah!"

* * *

><p><strong><em>shhh i am good at ending chapters what are you talking about<em>**

**_my editor said she was going to edit this..._**

**_._**


	25. Chapter 25

_**Oh look I updated at a reasonable time. It only took two days of ignoring my Graphic Arts teacher and writing *kawaii* boyfriends instead.**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>At Fault: Chapter 25<strong>_

Gamzee had surprisingly left too fast for Tavros to even ask where he was going. He just shouted over his shoulder he'd be back in a little while, because he had more business to do.

If Tavros remembered right, Gamzee didn't have a shift until tomorrow morning, and he wasn't attending classes until tomorrow either. So he couldn't really imagine what sort of business he was referring to, just that Tavros had to be left at the apartment by himself. Again...

Gamzee was really determined to make Tavros practically live here, to the point where he couldn't even go home when Gamzee wasn't home. He sighed, heavily, and became very bored rather quickly. Draped across the couch, he surfed the televisions with a lazy mind. As some sort of spanish realty show or whatever began playing, Tavros's mind drifted back as he tried to recall last night. Wow, it was just a jumble of clouds there. There was a faint memory of smoke swirling about him and a floating feeling. Everything was back down on earth, except him, he just kept rising. He had been numb throughout his body, and suddenly all the worries draped over his chest lightened. The stress of Senior year, the stress of his family, the constant fret over Gamzee not properly taking care of himself: it all just seemed to drop back down to the floor while he hovered lightly above it all, able to see it, but not able to think it.

He shook his head, the memory wasn't getting any more vivid than that. He could only recall the emotions and very faint thoughts.

Tavros bit his lip; he did have a bit of a headache this morning, if not a bit of sickness. It went away as he ate though and distracted himself by talking with Gamzee about...

His cheeks felt hot. Yeah, that wasn't particularly a pleasant conversation by any stretch, but when Gamzee had first asked, he felt like it was something that had to be done, no matter how uncomfortable.

Naturally, it had been easy for Gamzee. He just sat back, grinned, and asked the questions and gave him genuine replies, while Tavros struggled to keep his voice steady and his hands from trembling. It was nice to get it out in the open and on the table where they could both see it, though. It had been bothering him at the back of his mind for a while now, and his occasional problem at night confirmed it boiled under his brain in his subconscious as well.

And now he knew Gamzee wasn't a virgin, either... he supposed he already sort of guessed, and it might have been brought up previously and he forgot, but it still sort of bothered him. When they did get around to... having sex, Gamzee would be far more experienced. He already gave that away with their sparse make-out sessions; he was not a rookie with his lips or tongue. Tavros bit his lip and tried not to think about that; his heart began to flutter at the memory.

Tavros ran a hand down his short, nubby leg and sighed. How would he be able to properly please Gamzee anyway? The question brought on a blush, but he seriously thought about it: how? No legs to balance himself, he couldn't lift his body when in a lying-down position, or thrust it. He couldn't move his hips well either... and, unless he was wrong, didn't guys have to do it... a certain way?

God, he was embarrassing himself just by thinking about any of this. But he seriously wondered how he would be able to have sex with Gamzee, and pleasure him, and do it his dreams, his mind used imagination. Sometimes in his dreams he would have legs, or it was just oral.

Tavros shook his head frantically; his face was so red it was ridiculous, and the imaginary that ran through his head wasn't helping. He struggled onto his wheelchair, and went to get Gamzee's laptop that was in the kitchen. He didn't think Gamzee would mind if he used it.

Upon opening it, Tavros smiled a little. A search page was open: he had been researching stair ramps. Probably for him. He minimized the search, feeling fuzzy inside knowing how much Gamzee cared.

There was a flash: Gamzee's account was being messaged. After biting the inside of his mouth thinking about whether he should open it, he ended up doing so.

**-ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering terminallyCapricious[TC]-**

EB: hey, gamzee!

TC: oH, hElLo, jOhn.

TC: uHh, wAiT, tHiS qUiRk iS wEiRD.

EB: huh?

EB: oh yeah you use the weird quirk settings on pesterchum, huh.

TC: nO, uM, wElL, i PrObAbLy sHoUlDn'T cHaNgE iT.

EB: …

EB: you okay gamzee?

EB: you're acting kinda out of it.

EB: i mean, more than usual.

TC: oH, tHiS iS tAvRoS.

TC: I aM oN gAmZeE's cOmPuTeR.

EB: oh!

EB: hey there!

EB: any reason you're on his computer and not your own?

TC: wElL, mY cOmPuTeR iS aT hOmE.

TC: aNd I aM cUrReNtLy iN gAmZeE's aPaRtMeNt.

EB: oh, okay.

EB: is gamzee around?

TC: uH, nO, hE wEnT sOmEwHeRe.

TC: nOt SuRe WhErE.

EB: that's kind of fucked up of him.

EB: well i guess if you're there alone you can come here.

TC: uH, yOu SuRe.

EB: yeah! i'm free until my classes later in the afternoon.

EB: and grumpy-butt karkat isn't here right now so you don't have to worry about him.

TC: wElL, I GuEsS.

EB: we can play something on the ps3.

EB: i hope you have your game on.

EB: maybe i can invite dave or jade to play with us.

EB: rose doesn't like playing video games much.

EB: well i guess she does sometimes but it really depends on her mood.

EB: i can ask her too!

TC: tHaT's oKaY.

TC: oH, wHaT iS jAdE's lAsT nAmE.

TC: tHe OnE yOu mEnTiOnEd.

EB: jade?

EB: jade harley

TC: oH.

TC: I kNoW hEr.

EB: really?

EB: she might have mentioned you once or twice, not sure though!

EB: pretty cool.

EB: well anyway, yeah, you should come over.

TC: I wIlL i GuEsS.

TC: bE tHeRe iN a MiNuTe

EB: alright.

**-terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB]-**

Tavros closed the laptop, went into the bathroom to freshen up and then left the apartment. It was a short trek down the hall and around a few corners before getting to John's and Karkat's shared apartment. Tavros became closer to John in the last few weeks, a friendship formed from both enjoying video games.

He was sort of blunt, and maybe a bit sarcastic at times, but he was pretty nice.

He knocked on the door and waited for John to answer. Gamzee and Tavros visited them fairly often (though Karkat liked to mention that it was more of a case of them sponging off him and John), so the interior was very familiar to him now. When John answered the door, his lips rose to a goofy grin, "Hey, sup?" He asked as Tavros wheeled in. He shut the door behind him and raced past to launch himself over the back of the couch like a hyper child.

"Not, uh, much, I guess." Tavros replied as he wheeled around the couch, "So, did you get any new games?"

"Actually yeah, I did." He grinned a bit mischievously and reached over onto the coffee table and tossed a game case at Tavros. He just managed to catch it with clumsy hands before looking at the cover.

"Prototype 2?"

"Yeah. Played the first one a while ago. Real fun, but I dunno if you'd like it, it's extremely violent." John replied.

"I can watch you, uh, play it." Tavros suggested with a shrug, "I don't, really, mind violent games."

John began the game, and he was right, it was extremely violent. The character literally shed enemies in half, to the point where their limbs when flying and their heads toppled to the blood-covered ground. John eventually gave the controller to Tavros, and he gave it a try, but he wasn't forceful enough while playing, and he kept losing and dying. His companion broke out into laughter, telling him how terrible he was at the game.

"Do I, uh, have to kill all these people?" Tavros asked, biting at his lip.

"Well, yeah, that's the point." John replied with an eye-roll. "But, I guess we don't hafta play it if you don't want to."

"Nah, I'll just, uh, watch you play."

John shrugged, took the controller and played again.

"Hey, John?"

"Yeah?"

"I have uh... question."

"Shoot!"

"H-how long, did it take, for, uh, you and Karkat to..."

"Hmmm?"

"..."

"..."

"You know..."

"...No, I don't?"

God, he wasn't sure why he was asking this in the first place. Just clarification, he guessed, but it was just to awkward, why did he think he should have asked it in the first place?

"The first time, you guys..."

"...Oh! You mean had sex?"

"Y-yeah!"

"Uhhh... hmn... it actually started out as sex, heh."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, after that we considered ourselves actual boyfriends. Before that though it was just a lot of tension, we even kissed a few times! Hah! But, why the sudden question?"

Tavros messed with the bottom of his shirt as he contemplated his words before replying, "Um, just, G-Gamzee might have, brought it up..."

"What? You guys haven't done it yet?" John practically shouted in sudden surprise, the controller falling from his hand as he leaned forward, "How have you two been dating?"

"Only a few months..."

"Oh... I thought it was longer than that. Well anyway, kinda weird you haven't had sex!" He was looking at Tavros in almost a judgmental way, "But I guess you guys are taking it slow, huh?"

Tavros nodded. "I might, perhaps, asked to not do it so quickly, just, because I am unused to it."

John snickered, and Tavros's face lit up, "W-what?"

"You're just being a cute virgin right now."

"No need to uh, tease!"

"Sorry, sorry. It really isn't that hard though. Well actually, it is," John let loose more light giggles at his joke, "But it'll come pretty naturally, so don't get your pink panties in a twist."

"T-they aren't pink!" The younger man protested. "They're, uh..." _deep purple_ Tavros finished in his head. John didn't need to know the color of his undergarments.

"Whatever. Anyway, rootin' for you too. Lemme know when the test comes in positive, yeah?" He asked as he picked up the controller again.

Tavros nodded, "Alright... wait no, that isn't, uh, anatomically possible!"

John just snicked and unpaused the game. The room was filled with the sounds of war and violence, and they fell into a silence themselves except for John's occasional cursing and yelling at the screen.

Tavros was distracted again; he thought about the previous night, and this morning, and just now his conversation with John. His head was just swimming with a combination of anticipation and fear; anticipation for one day soon Gamzee and he would actually... _do it. _On the other hand, he would be scared Gamzee would see his nubby legs and be disgusted, or that he couldn't properly please Gamzee. His brain was conflicting every thought and idea it came with, and he soon grew a headache.

A vibrating in his pocket brought him out of the depths of his mind.

**-terminallyCapricious [TC] began pestering adiosToreador[AT]-**

TC: yO, tAvbRo?

TC: YoU mOthErFucKiN tHeRe?

AT: uMMM, yES, i AM,

AT: hEY,

TC: YoU aT kArbRo'S?

AT: oH, I AM, hOW DID YOU KNOW,

TC: lOoKeD aT mY cOmPuTeR wHeN I GoT hOmE.

TC: wOrRiEd fOr A wHiLe bEcAuSe I dIdN'T sEe YoU.

TC: hOnK. }:o(

AT: sORRY, gAMZEE,

AT: i WAS JUST KIND OF BORED, i GUESS, bECAUSE YOU LEFT,

AT: jOHN OFFERED AND STUFF SO,

TC: sOrRy, dIdN't MeAn To MaKe yOu AlL uP aNd AlOnE aNd sHiT.

TC: }:o( rEaLlY sOrRy BrO.

TC: uP aNd bEiNg A bAd bOyFRiEnD hErE.

AT: iT'S FINE, rEALLY, i AM SURE THE BUISNESS YOU ATTENDED TO, wAS IMPORTANT,

AT: yOU AREN'T A BAD BOYFRIEND EITHER, yOU SHOULDN'T DOWN YOURSELF LIKE THAT, uH, EITHER,

TC: sOrRy, JuSt A lItTlE uPsEt In mY tHiNkPaN.

AT: }:o(

AT: i WILL GO HOME NOW, iF YOU WANT,

TC: dOn'T hAvE tO iF yOu DoN't uP aNd wAnT tO.

AT: i WILL BE THERE, mOMENTARILY,

Tavros didn't even bother closing out of the chat, he just shoved his phone into his pocket.

"You okay?" John asked, not moving his eyes from the screen.

"Uh, yeah, I think I am going to go home now, Gamzee is back."

"Alright! Make lots of babies," John said mischievously with a grin.

Tavros furrowed his eyebrows, "N-not possible!" He insisted quickly before he wheeled away and out the front door. His motions were hasty as he went through the hallway to Gamzee's apartment. He wondered momentarily if the door was unlocked, so he gave it a loud knock and waited nervously.

Gamzee was at the door in seconds. He was slouched, and draped in a thick hoodie with pajama pants, and one hand was shoved deep into the pocket as if it were cold. His eyes lit up and he threw his arms around Tavros's neck, for once moving with haste.

"Motherfucker, I was up and worried there," Gamzee explained, not letting Tavros from his embrace. "I came home and man, I all looked around, in every room and shit and you weren't here. I panicked and went to see if you were on pesterchum, then I saw the message."

"S-sorry!" Tavros squeaked, "I should have, uh, let you know I wouldn't be here."

"Man, I shouldn't just up and leave you like that, bro. Gotta remember you don't actually up and live here. Ain't no reason for me leaving you."

"Well, uh, I am sure you have your reasons. And business," Tavros soothed, running his fingers through Gamzee's entangled, slick hair, doing his best to imitate a comforting gesture.

"I did have some shit I had to do, but I could have went and did it later."

"Uh, Gamzee? Y-you okay?" He asked rather suddenly, and he pulled away to get a look at Gamzee's face. He didn't normally make a thing out of things like this.

"Motherfuck, yeah, fine, just a little bit a stressful thing I had to deal with." He gave a reassuring smile, "It's all chill, brother. No need to fret over me."

"W-well I worry about you a lot," Tavros sighed. He did too; Gamzee didn't eat right, had strange sleeping habits, rather off hygiene habits, and he didn't know how to properly take care of himself at all. In the time Tavros spent staying with Gamzee, he had realized this. It was difficult to help him, much to Tavros's frustration. He couldn't clean, couldn't cook, couldn't shop for proper food, he couldn't make Gamzee go wash his hair because it had become greasy, he couldn't do any of that. He could give advice and support and hope Gamzee would listen, but it didn't extend much farther than that.

"Man, wish you didn't, nothing to worry about." The older man sighed as he twirled around to the back of Tavros's wheelchair and pushed him inside the apartment.

They rolled over a horn that had been left in the middle of his normal wheelchair path, and they both squeaked in surprise.

"Well, I could, uh, worry about your lack of h-hygiene." Tavros told him as he reached down, picked up the horn and gave it a honk, much to Gamzee's amusement.

"Hope you ain't implyin' I throw that away." Gamzee replied

"'Course n-not," He put the horn in his lap, "But perhaps you should get some, uh, shelves, or drawers?" He suggested meekly.

"Hmmm..." Gamzee hum'd, as if he were thinking about it.

"O-or I guess... I could w-worry about your diet," as he was wheeled through the kitchen, he reached onto the counter for an empty pudding cup. "How many, uh, of these have you had?"

Gamzee gave him the pouting look of a child, "None today, bro!"

"Y-yesterday?"

"...Three."

Tavros gave him a knowing scowl, "Y-you should cook for yourself, not, uh, just me. I'm getting fat from it all, anyways."

The dopey grin returned to Gamzee's face, "Not fat bro, pudgy, and it's motherfuckin' adorable." He gave Tavros's stomach a poke.

He jumped in surprise and squeaked.

"You know when I first met you, you were all up and skinny as fuck." Gamzee pointed out as he pushed Tavros into the living room and to the couch.

"Well, I don't really, uh, eat much at home. I can't cook, and Dad's really busy..."

"He motherfuckin' has a responsibility," Gamzee growled as he let go of Tavros's wheelchair and threw himself into the cushions. "I don't fucking care how motherfuckin' 'busy' he is, he should at least try and take care of you."

Tavros shrugged, feeling as if they were going off track, "Uh... point is, Gamzee, you should take, uh, care of yourself better."

The older man let out a drawled-out sigh and tipped his head back. Tavros rolled away into the kitchen. He considered getting Gamzee some Faygo, but instead he went for the water bottles that remained to be drank even though they were bought over a week ago. He returned to Gamzee and handed him the bottle.

He gave it a look before taking it, "Thanks, Tav."

"You, uh, sound sorta tired..."

He shrugged, "Not really. S'only like, man I don't know. Time is such a miracle, isn't it?"

"I, uh, guess." As a silence fell between them and boredom ensued Tavros agreed as he reached for the remote that lay on the edge of the couch so he could turn on the TV and perhaps release some of the tedious atmosphere.

Gamzee grabbed his hand before he could grasp the remote, and with a tug he managed to help Tavros from his chair and onto his lap. He gave him a quick kiss before wickedly grinning.

"Got somethin' cool on the way home," he said.

"What would, uh, that be?"

"I already up and put it in the stereo," He reached for the stereo remote on the coffee table, "I got some motherfuckin' sick rhymes, man. New CD, sounds so fucking wicked."

He pressed play, and the entire room boomed and swirled with sick beats and lyrics. It was so loud it was bound to annoy the neighbors- but it thumped and drummed Tavros's ribcage. He probably would have hurt his ears, but he was used to how loud Gamzee turned his music by now. He closed his eyes and rested his head against Gamzee's shoulder, and he felt Gamzee's chin on the top of his head.

"Pretty, uh, sick, Gamzee," Tavros mumbled as he listened.

"I know right, bro? Thought you'd up and like it."

"I-I more than like it. It's really, uh, _good._"

Gamzee was probably grinning stupidly now, and so was Tavros.

They were a couple of boyfriends listening to terrible rap music and nestled in each other's arms.

* * *

><p><strong><em>god what did i just write<em>**


	26. Chapter 26

_**At Fault: Chapter 26**_

"Gosh, I just can't wait for Christmas break."

"Heh, I-I feel you."

Tavros casted a glance to the side as he said the prior, giving his friend, Jade, a grin, "It's about time w-we got, a break. Are you doing something?"

She returned the grin he gave him with a mischievous smirk, "Of course. Me and my grandpa are going into the mountains to go hunting. It'll be great!"

"Uh... Shouldn't you go hunting in the, spring?"

Jade shrugged, "It'll be to test our skills. We aren't going that far into the mountains, so it won't be like, 40-below or something. Besides we're heading south to do it."

Probably she noticed his discomforted expression so she gave him a friendly pat, "Don't worry, I know you don't like hunting, but in retrospect it's probably more humane than how people normally kill animals for food."

He nodded in a agreement, trying to keep the latter from forming visions in his mind. Currently, the last period of the day ended, and Jade and he were walking together. Well, she was walking anyway, and he wheeled at an easy pace beside her.

About a month passed since Tavros and Gamzee had the rather awkward conversation concerning their sexual life (or rather, lack of one). It was never brought up again, which could have been a good thing or a bad thing. He hoped it was only because Gamzee didn't want to make him uncomfortable or anything, rather than he was losing interest in the concept of having sex with Tavros all together. It sometimes itched at the back of his mind, but by now he was fully dived into his classes and his new flourishing social life. Ever since he had became closer to Jade, and met Gamzee, it seemed the bullying dwindled to nearly nothing. Sometimes he still got the jabs regarding his disability or his speech impediment, but Jade usually scared them away.

Jade was a kind girl, most of the time. Despite her tomboyish-like tendencies, she wore skirts often, and her hair was long and wore down, with sometimes a bow or band in it. Her skin was similar to his in color, bit perhaps a bit more yellow, rather than a brownish-tan, and each of her fingers had a colorful string around it (she explained they were reminders, because she was forgetful) and she had a habit of falling asleep in class.

Her personality had a reputation for being pretty happy and cheerful a lot around her friends, and she was completely animated with her emotions. But people she thought didn't deserve her friendship or kindness, she was very cold and icy towards. You could just see it form across her features; her eyes hardened, she frowned irritably, and she always fixed them with a glare that sent shivers down spines. There were times when she became a complete badass as well; the first time somebody sauntered up to Tavros with Jade around and called him a 'faggot', she punched him in the face.

She got suspended for a week, but she assured Tavros it was completely worth it.

But that was months ago. Since then, they had become close friends, and even had a few classes together. A few times, they chilled over at John and Karkat's house and played video games late into the night, much to Karkat's annoyance, since the three were often raucous in their games. Sometimes Gamzee joined them, but he was terrible at video games, so he usually just provided piles of junk food and Faygo (this sort of made Tavros a little bit annoyed, since he was always trying to tell Gamzee to eat healthier).

Jade never seemed bothered by Tavros, even when they first met she treated him like a regular person, rather than somebody who is in a wheelchair with a speech impediment and had a boyfriend. Tavros appreciated this greatly; he felt like any other normal person talking with her. That was probably why she was such a close friend.

"When's Gamzee gonna pick you up?" She asked as she scanned the front of the school where a purple truck usually waited.

Tavros pulled himself from his thoughts. He seemed to have dozed off. "H-he has a shift at his job right now, he messaged me earlier and uh, said he'd be late."

"Oh, okay! Well, mind if I wait with you? I need to finish my homework anyway, and I get so distracted at home!" Jade veered off the concrete walkway and plopped down on the grass that stretched out between the parking lot and the school building.

Tavros awkwardly wheeled across the grass over to her just as she pulled out her notebook, "Ugh, I feel old, remember the days when there wasn't any homework?"

"N-nope," He snickered. "I-in that, I was implying we've been having homework so long, I forgot what it was like to not, have any."

There was a breeze in the air, but the sun was shining between folds of clouds, so the temperature wasn't so bad. Tavros pulled on his jacket anyway before beginning his homework. Knowing Gamzee, he would probably distract him from it most of the afternoon, like usual.

"Why don't you come down here?" Jade asked after a while, looking rather curious, "The grass is dry and pretty comfortable. Has to be better then sitting in that chair all day. Does it ever give you back cramps?"

"N-no. Well, hmn, sometimes, but, I am just used to it." Tavros replied, "Er... It's hard getting to the ground from a wheelchair."

"Need help?" She offered as she began to stand but Tavros hastily shook his head.

After much struggle, Tavros managed to slither to the ground, his pant-legs in a tangle. Once he became situated, his pocket began to buzz. Must have been his phone;

**-terminallyCapricious[TC] began pestering adiosToreador [AT]-**

TC: hOnK. }:o)

TC: hEy tAvBrO.

AT: hEY,

TC: I WiLl Be ThErE iN a FeW, gEtTiNg OfF sOoN.

AT: oH, oKAY, tHANKS,

AT: nO NEED TO RUSH YOURSELF, tHOUGH,

TC: 3

TC: sEe YoU sOoN.

AT: yEAH,

AT: 3

** -terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased pestering adiosToreador [AT]-**

"Gamzee'll be here soon, he's about to leave work."

"Good." Jade replied, "It's pretty cute that he picks you up from school."

Tavros shrugged, "Y-yeah, I guess, it's nice of him to do so. Sort of my fault, t-though."

"Oh?"

"Well... M-my dad said he wouldn't bother picking me up from school this year, because I uh, should be driving myself."

Jade stared at him for a good half minute, "But you can't."

Tavros shrugged again. "A-also he said my faggot of a boyfriend could pick me up, so..."

She looked rather pissed off now, "God your dad is a pile of poop! I wish I could just take you away and let you live in my closet!"

"Hah... i-if only, but, I don't, uh, think that'll sit well with Gamzee. He's been trying to get me to, uh, move in with him for months now."

Jade clenched her jaw, as if trying to calm herself down, "Why don't you just say yes and move in with him? It has to be better there than living with your dad."

"God, you're starting to sound, uh, like him." Tavros said, considering her words for a minute, " And also, I know but, I do not want him, trying to support me, n-not while I cannot work and, uh, help. I c-can't even clean, I will be dead weight."

"Not dead weight! Not if he wants to take care of you! But, I guess I see your point." She scratched at her chin as if thinking before saying, "Ever consider getting prosthetics for your legs?"

Tavros shrugged, "I-I used to, but, it's real expensive, and I would need somebody to uh, help me, and I dunno... My d-dad never seemed up for the idea, because he says I don't deserve them-"

"What?" Jade interrupted with an explosive yell, "Don't deserve them? What kind of parent is that?"

Tavros fiddled with the hem of his shirt, "It's uh, a long story, I'd rather not share... but, without his money, I can't really go through the surgery or, uh, get the legs..."

"That's terrible. God, I know you've told me about the crap your dad puts you through, but that's ridiculous."

Tavros shrugged and reassured her with a smile.

"And then you turn around and act so happy all the time." Jade went on with a long sigh.

He cheeks reddened a bit, and he scratched the back of his head, "Uh, thanks but I guess, I'm just used to it?" Life threw a lot of shit at him, but he did his best to never let it drag him down into a pit with more negative thoughts. Sometimes it managed to wrap a coil around his wrist and stare menacingly from the pit, but he never let it drag him in.

Tavros barely noticed the surprised look Jade was giving to the area behind him before he almost screamed. Something tackled him from behind and wrapped their arms firmly around his shoulders. A high, almost-squeaky giggle rustled his mohawk, "Greetings Tavros! Jade!"

"O-oh my g-god, Nepeta, y-you almost, gave me, a heart attack!" Tavros replied, clenching his chest where his heart beat rapidly.

Jade and Nepeta both broke out in a unison of laughs. The one that was clinging to his shoulders rolled backwards into the grass, "You squeaked like a kitten!"

"N-no, I didn't," Tavros denied rather seriously.

"I'm pretty sure you did, Tavros," Jade snickered, blatantly taking Nepeta's side.

She wiggled around him and pushed herself into a sitting position, "Fancy meeting you guys here. Why are you just sitting out here?"

"Gamzee said he was gonna be late, so I decided to stay with Tavros, since I can just drive home," Jade replied, still a bit giggly. "What about you? Isn't Equius herding you home usually?"

"Yeah but he has to finish a test so he told me to wait." She rolled her eyes over-dramatically and scowled, "But I'm bored. Then I saw you! And pounced!"

"Yeah, it really, took me b-by surprise," Tavros muttered, still rubbing his chest; at least his heart was quieting its frantic pounding.

"That was the point!"

Tavros began lightly chuckling anyway. While Jade and Nepeta (who got along surprisingly well) spoke among each other, Tavros concentrated on the homework he knew Gamzee would distract him from later. It wasn't too difficult; he was pretty good in his classes, especially his senior ones, where it usually involved just note-taking for both classwork and homework.

About twenty minutes passed when a second pair of arms wrapped around his shoulders. He was convinced for a second it was Nepeta again, but Nepeta was still sitting next to him.

"Hey my cutest motherfucker," Gamzee chuckled into his ear, bringing a tiny almost inaudible giggle from his breath tickling his skin.

"H-hey, Gamzee," he replied, conscience of where they were at the moment, and how there were still students milling around, and the two of them were in plain sight.

"Hope I didn't up and keep a bro waiting?"

"N-not at all! I just, worked on my homework."

Gamzee snuggled his nose into the back of Tavros's mohawk, a grin crawling up his face, "Missed you, Tavbro."

His heart was pattering harshly in his chest again, and he leaned forward away from Gamzee's nuzzling, "Y-yeah, you too."

"You alright? Didn't get any motherfuckin' shit today, right?"

"Um, no."

Gamzee took Tavros's face by the chin and gently turned it towards him, "Your nose is all red and a little runny, you shouldn't up and be out in the motherfucking cold like this, you'll get sick."

Tavros pushed his hand away and gave him a reassuring smile, "I'm fine, really."

"Aww, you guys are just really cute," Nepeta commented; she had an obsession with romance.

"Thank you, but Tavros here is the real motherfuckin' cutie. Have you seen this motherfuckin' face?" He used his fingers to pinch the sides of Tavros's cheeks.

"Umn..." He mumbled with his face being squished.

"Anyway, unless your busy, ready to up and head motherfuckin' home?"

"Uh, yeah, sure. If you're ready...!"

Tavros went to lift himself in his chair, but Gamzee grabbed him quickly, mumbling something about not letting a brother have to get into their own wheelchair. He hugged him around the waist, pulled him from the ground, and placed him in his chair. The gesture was probably more intimate than need-be, seeing how he managed to draw more curious glances from nearby bystanders.

He swept that small paranoia from his mind though, reasoning with himself that bystanders also had a life and probably didn't give two shits about him. Gamzee gathered his bags and papers that were still on the ground and put them in his lap before waving bye to the girls and wheeling him away towards his truck that was parked nearby.

His discomfort went unnoticed, and it lessened once they left the schools property.

"D-did you have a good day?" Tavros asked.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah I did motherfucker. Went to a class this morning then motherfuckin' chilled with little kids the rest of the day. Cute little fuckers, but they're always sticky or some shit."

"Y-yeah."

"Do you like kids, bro?"

Tavros shrugged, "I dunno, they are, okay, I guess."

"Should bring you over to the preschool sometime, motherfucker, you can get your chill on with the little motherfuckers."

Only, little kids tended to veer away from him once they found out he didn't have legs. That made him a little afraid.

Gamzee shifted a look over at him real fast, and maybe noticed the change in facial expression. "You okay, brother?"

"Uh... well, kids tend to be afraid, of me, so..."

"Well Tavbro, we'll take you after Christmas or something, I'll be sure to let the older kids know to treat you with motherfuckin' respect," he paused, "But only if you wanna bro, I ain't forcing this shit or anything."

"Well, I d-don't mind," Tavros replied with an ernest smile.

"Great, motherfucker, I'll up and check with the other staff next time I have a shift. It'll be motherfuckin' wicked for the older kids to learn to respect differences."

_If only the kids from elementary school learned that same lesson, _Tavros thought to himself with an inward sigh, maybe then it wouldn't have been so bad.

* * *

><p><strong><em>i am lord of ending chapters<em>**

**_it is me_**

**_/heavy sarcasm _**

**_i think i might upload 27 tonight as well. dunno. depends on where i go with 28. maybe i'll upload all three in one night_**


	27. Chapter 27

_**At Fault: Chapter 27**_

Tavros was used to it, naturally. He had gotten used to most of the insults, and most of the bullying; he overlooked it now. If it even happened; it wasn't very common anymore. There was probably an array of reasons.

But in this case, he was bothered. Between classes, very blatantly, somebody made a scene of insulting his sexuality. Apparently, as he feared, people saw him with Gamzee the previous day and made assumptions that were true. It wasn't the fact that he was gay that made Tavros so uncomfortable, it was the fact that people had to make a scene of it one way or another, and it was usually negative. He should have been more proud being with Gamzee in public, but it was hard, and he had a fear. The fear of drawing negative attention, and being harassed just like so often he was in previous years; especially the physical torment that haunted him. Perhaps it didn't help when he heard stories about people being beaten up just for being gay, more often in the case of homosexual men than woman, and sometimes they were beat up so horribly they were taken to the hospital. (It wasn't as common anymore, but that didn't put his fear to rest anymore)

He had been sheer luck somebody as nice as Gamzee had been there last time. Since then, nobody tried to punch him or take his bags and put them in a place where he couldn't get to. On a passing whim, they might throw a jab every once and awhile, but the fact that the bullying died down to almost a halt. Earlier that day, some girls had heard about him and his assumed boyfriend, and actually began asking generally curious questions. They didn't think it was weird, if anything, they showed a type of endearment once they found out Gamzee was, indeed, his boyfriend, and they had been dating for months. Their eyes glowed, and they commented how cute it was.

Tavros kept in mind these were girls who had never bothered to sit with him before or even really talk to him. In fact, he was sure these girls feared him in their youthful elementary school days. But he overlooked that now, he smiled and spoke with them, acting polite and friendly, and only acted guarded when they tried to ask him personal questions regarding Gamzee and his relationship.

When Gamzee picked him up after school, he pulled himself into the cabin of the truck while Gamzee folded his wheelchair and began telling him about the strange attention he received. Gamzee visibly bristled when Tavros told him the bad stuff, but seemed rather curious at the better stuff.

"Man chicks are motherfuckin' weird," he mumbled, a generally confused look on his face.

Gamzee was insistent on bringing Tavros over to his apartment, but Tavros had already spent several days there, and he needed fresh clothing. He figured since Gamzee dragged him over so often, he should just keep a drawer of clothes there, but that was only a step closer to moving in, which was something he was trying to avoid.

Once picking up the very few clothes Tavros had left at Gamzee's apartment in a pack (as well as a few other items), they went back to his house. Once arriving at the house, they found Tavros's dad wasn't home, which was no surprise; he was probably still at work.

"Did you have motherfuckin' lunch today?" Gamzee asked, even though Tavros was sure he already knew the answer.

"N-nepeta gave me part of her lunch."

He sighed, "I wish you'd up and let me give you money for lunch."

Tavros refused, just like every time, and followed Gamzee into the kitchen where he began tearing open cupboards in search of food to make. There wasn't much, since Tavros almost never ate at home anymore (Gamzee either cooked for him, or took him out), but that only meant his dad wasn't eating, which was worrying.

When Gamzee gave up on looking, he offered taking Tavros out somewhere.

"N-no! You take me out, uh, too much." He replied stubbornly.

"Alright, brother, whatever floats your boat." He reached into his jean's pocket and plucked out his phone and began ordering a pizza. While Tavros fused over him spending more money than necessary on something like pizza, Gamzee waved it off, ruffled his mohawk, and helped Tavros get up upstairs to his room. He had become used to it by now; he almost forgot what it was like to take the longer way up and down.

"So what do you wanna, uh, do until the pizza gets here?" Tavros asked as he was placed in the other chair he kept upstairs. (It felt rather small to him and very uncomfortable since it was the one he used when he was younger.)

Gamzee shrugged, "Sloppy make-outs, video games, just chill and talk about the miracles of the motherfuckin' world, read webcomics..."

"Um..." Tavros bit his lip and rolled into his room, Gamzee right behind him. "We haven't played video games in a while."

"Oh yeah, motherfucker. Saw a game for the Nintendo 64 on eBay the other day, considered up and buying it."

"N-no need to do that," he replied as he switched on the Nintendo 64 and handed Gamzee the controller and made himself comfortable on the bed beside him. He watched him mess around with the controls for a while, making his character run around and frequently fall off a cliff, or get destroyed by an enemy that should have been easy to kill. Gamzee was terrible at video games, but both of them already knew that.

When the doorbell rang, he rolled off the bed and headed down the stairs. Tavros used this opportunity to take the controller and make some progress in the game (Gamzee had been stuck on the same part of the same level for a half an hour).

Gamzee returned minutes later with a pizza and two cans of Faygo. When he handed one to Tavros, he shook his head, "That's okay, you can keep it. I-I know you like them more."

But instead, Gamzee took Tavros's hand and placed the can of Faygo in it. When Tavros opened his mouth to protest Gamzee put his fingers on his lips and whispered:

"Shhhoosh, just keep it, yo."

He stared at the can of Faygo, then put it aside. The other man joined him on the bed once again, then opened the box of pizza. Tavros really didn't register what kind of pizza it was, because he was absorbed in the game once again. He just absently ate the slices, only registering that it was pretty good tasting.

After sometime, perhaps when he was done eating, Gamzee shifted until he was behind Tavros and he put his chin on his shoulder to watch him play. His arms wrapped around his midsection to hold him close, so playing the video game was starting to become difficult with the distraction. Tavros could feel the soft breaths wisp against his skin, and it sent shivers that weren't particularity uncomfortable, it just tugged his attention away from the screen. A warm chest pressed against his back, and it soon became soothing. Tavros leaned back into the warmth, letting his mind wander gently, until he was only playing with part of his mind on it. The other part was concentrating on the security he felt as Gamzee held him around the waist, keeping him close, his hands pushing softly into his stomach, and his fingers entwining.

He put the game on pause, leaned backwards into Gamzee, turned his head and smiled widely at him. He returned it with one of his own signature, wide grins and craned his neck to kiss him on the nose. "You're being a cute motherfucker right now," he chuckled softly.

"Y-you're being endearing, uh, as well." Tavros returned.

His grip tightened, and he pulled Tavros up onto his criss-crossed legs, chuckling a little when Tavros was taken by surprise. He curled his fingers around Gamzee's intertwined ones and turned his head again to nuzzle his cheek with his nose. It was tingling with warmth, and he could feel Gamzee grin wider. The older man pulled apart his fingers, only to use them to hold Tavros's hands right and stroke the knuckles with his thumb. It was a simple gesture, but a soothing one. As the small appendage brushed against his fingers, he planted a kiss on the cheek where he just nuzzled. It was a very soft surface, and he caught Gamzee's scent, which smelled faintly of cheap body wash, smoke and lingering pizza-sauce. Strange combination.

Gamzee kissed at his nose again and then his cheek, and Tavros met him half-way for a kiss on the lips. It was soft, the lips barely touching, but it was enough to make him a little dizzy in the head. For a moment, he considered turning back to his video game while being cuddled by Gamzee, but then he captured his lips again, and the video game went forgotten.

"You're so cute, bro," the older man murmured against his lips. "And you're motherfuckin' wicked at kissin'."

Tavros didn't reply, because a reply was unnecessary; he just took Gamzee's lips again. It wasn't long before Tavros was shifting awkwardly on Gamzee's lap so he could face him. Now in a better position, he wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him closer. Their lips moved, and nearly melded, and their tongues occasionally doing a sort of dance. When they broke away for air, Tavros began chuckling.

"What's so funny, bro?" Gamzee drawled out, looking overly perplexed.

Tavros took his thumb and rubbed a bit of saliva that was sliding down his chin. He rubbed it furiously on the bed's blankets to get it off his thumb, "Heh, sloppy."

The other man grinned, almost in a challenging-like way, "You want sloppy, motherfucker?"

Before he replied, Gamzee was on him, this time toppling him backwards against the mattress. He planted his arms on either side of Tavros and leaned in quickly. The kiss they shared was drastically sloppy, on purpose of course, and the movements were very clumsy. But it wasn't at all unpleasant, just very messy.

Tavros let lose a giggle-fit when Gamzee nipped at his throat playfully, but small groans and gasps were entwined with it. A few hickies were left, and Tavros was barely registering how intimate this was becoming. When he licked his collar bone, he felt a feeling shoot down his spine; perhaps it was intense realization of arousal. He licked again, then gave it a small bite. As Tavros squirmed, he sucked on the sensitive skin until Tavros let out a faltered moan mixed with a giggle, because as erogenous as the spot was, it was also very ticklish to him.

"How do you manage being motherfuckin' sexy and innocently cute at the same time?" Gamzee mused. "Miracle, man. Motherfuckin' miracle."

"Uh... I guess because it's... ticklish there, but it's very good-feeling as well." He speculated, but his next sentence faltered when Gamzee took the hem of his shirt and lifted it up his stomach so his midsection was exposed. Shivers went through his body, but he was very still and quiet. His laughter died, and now he watched with curiously intense eyes. Gamzee had drawn downwards a little now, and although his fingers were moving, he watched Tavros with questioned eyes, as if he was asking position to explore such an spot.

Tavros might have been scared, but the look he was receiving was reassuring. Trying to push down the lack of confidence in himself about carrying on, he cracked a small smile.

Gamzee returned it with a lazy one and began running his thumbs down his skin on his stomach. Never before had Tavros quite felt anybody touch there in an intimate manner, and it was a very new experience. He tried to let himself drown in it; the way the light movements tickled at his skin, going lower, and lower, then slipping back up a little ways to his ribcage.

Gamzee was watching him now, through those eyes. He kept eye-contact for several moments before putting his lips to the edge of Tavros's ribcage.

He took a quick breath, biting at his lip and trying not to let out some noise of some kind as feather-light fingers and only hushes of lips brushed against his easily-affected skin. On occasion there was the feel of a wet tongue trailing lazy over parts of the surface of his stomach, leaving small, wet marks that were nipped with the coolness of the air when Gamzee moved to a different spot.

"You're not up and makin' any more sounds," Gamzee muttered into his stomach.

"T-trying not to, it's embarrassing, maybe."

He gave him a mischievous look, then blew a raspberry into his stomach as if he were a little kid.

Tavros still burst out into a fit of chuckles, at the same time trying to scold Gamzee. But all his words were incoherent and screwed up from laughs and his own embarrassment.

"G-Gamzee!" He finally managed to get out.

He was simply laughing quietly to himself, his face half hidden against Tavros. "Man bro, you're such an adorable little motherfucker."

"T-that was, heh, uncalled for, though." He fused, but then broke off when Gamzee did it again. It was unbearably ticklish, and not to mention a good mood breaker.

It took a few moments for him to settle down, but once he did he became away that Gamzee was saying something mostly inaudible, "Hmmm... broooo..." He nipping at his skin again, moving his lips in a less playful way and returning to the intimacy.

Tavros never lost his arousal, and he was sure Gamzee could feel it. Tavros's face was flushed with deep red, and his entire body was hot. His head felt like it was spinning or floating; or maybe that it was elsewhere in the world, and the only thing he could really feel were those soft appendages working their way along his body. As Gamzee pointedly moved lower, his digits pressed a bit harder, and moved in circular motions around his sides now. It felt more like a massage than the feather-light touches from prior. When Gamzee trailed down to the hem of his pants, he suddenly felt a bit of sense come back to his head.

...Well, not sense, more like, fear.

That was when his confidence began to trickle away. Gamzee was preparing to take off his pants. Take off _his pants _and possibly give him his first blowjob.

The word shot _blowjob_ through his brain; he felt the wave of panic, combined with a kind of yearning desire and anticipation. He wanted this, he knew he wanted this, he just wasn't sure how to interpret his feelings running through him at the moment. His arousal was uncomfortable, but as much as he wanted this, he wanted to know what it was, he couldn't keep down the rising fear. A fear that if Gamzee took off his pants, might be disgusted by his legs, or perhaps there would be disapproval of some sort. Not to mention he would probably lose his virginity, which in retrospect, shouldn't have been a big deal, but it felt like it was.

"Bro...?" Gamzee murmured, his fingers had been hooked over the edge of his pants, and he was watching him curiously.

Tavros's mind raced; decision now or never!

_Confidence. Push the fear down. Push the lack of self-esteem down._

_Come on Tavros, be like you were a few minutes ago._

_You don't need to be afraid, it's Gamzee! He's never judged you before!_

_Your fear is very irrational! Quit being so silly!_

_Confidence and faith in both yourself and Gamzee!_

A door slammed downstairs. His dad was home. Without really thinking, Tavros said in a quiet voice, "Uh... I-I don't want him, walking in on this.

Gamzee's facial expression didn't change, but his unhooked his fingers and placed his arms on either side of Tavros, "You sure, bro?" He asked, "You're not up and hurting right now or nothing?"

His arousal was hurting, and begging to be dealt with, but...

...

He pushed himself up to an awkward sitting position and his shirt slipped down, covering the trail of small, red spots peppering his mid-section.

"S-sorry." Tavros mumbled.

Gamzee was quick to reply. "No need to be sorry about anything, I'll just let you go at your own sweet motherfuckin' pace." He gave Tavros a lazy grin and a quick peck on the nose.

Tavros felt terrible with himself. _That could of gone a lot smoother, Tavros! _"I hope, um, you aren't uncomfortable right now."

"No big deal bro," he replied with a shrug, though his voice might have sounded less lethargic and more strained, "just need a distraction to keep it off my mind."

"Umn... i-if it's a real bother, you can use my, uh, bathroom..." Tavros gestured awkwardly to the door that lead to the small bathroom that was also shared with the guestroom.

"Now would that be up and fair for you? Motherfuckin' nope." He flopped back into the mattress and Tavros pretended not to see the bulge on the front of his pants.

There was a loud knock on his door, and then his dad glanced into the room with a rather bored expression.

"Hey look, you're here for once." He observed gruffly.

"Um... Y-yeah! I am here, for once, because this is my home." He agreed.

"Hm." His dad might have looked like he had something else to say, but instead he just gave Gamzee a cautious look and left.

Once he was gone, Gamzee asked, "heyyyy... Bro, you plannin' on staying here the night?"

"Y-yeah, I might, as well. Unless you really want me to stay with you?"

"Whatever floats your motherfuckin' boat, Tavbro. But if you're gonna stay here, is it possible for me to stay with you?"

"Oh... I-I guess, but, why?"

"Well you've been stayin' at my place for a few nights. Just used to it is all. Gets all up and fuckin' lonely in that huge ass apartment."

Tavros chuckled once at the term, "Huge-ass? I-it has, like, three rooms."

"Big for me, seeing how I only need motherfuckin' one." He told him with a lazy grin, "Anyway, can I chill here the night or what?"

"If you want, I don't think my dad will kick you out. B-between you and me, I t-think he's afraid, of, uh, you."

Something passed through Gamzee's expression, but he was gone and replaced with an even wider smile and a tiny laugh, "'fraid of me? Pssshhftttt. Only motherfuckin' people that should be scared of me are people that mess with you."

Tavros scratched the side of his face, nervously snickering.

"Laugh now, I'm all serious and shits," though his voice gave away be was bluffing. Which made it all the more amusing.

Gamzee took Tavros's face between his hands, and gave him a kiss and inquired, "If I'm staying here the night, how 'bout that shower?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>my skills in ending chapters is legendary<strong>_


	28. Chapter 28

**_i'm not happy with this chapter_**

**_but i upload it anyways_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>At Fault: Chapter 28<em>**

Gamzee waited with Tavros until he was sure he was comfortable, and then slipped away to the shower. When he opened the curtain, his confusion was beyond reason as he looked at the strange shower design and nozzles. It seemed to have been slightly revamped to accommodate handicapped people. After messing with the nozzle he managed to get it to work, so he stripped and stepped into the spray.

The water was hot, and it caused his back to go red and sting a little; but the steam was soothing to his head. It also made him light-headed; not quite the same as getting high, but nonetheless he slouched down against the tile of the wall anyway and hummed to himself. His head swirled much like the steam around him; no thoughts were distinguished from others, it was just a jumble. One did come forth though, a memory, the memory he wanted to relish in. The dopey grin stretched across his face; he almost got Tavros off earlier.

Tavros was just a motherfucking body of miracles; the sounds that escaped his mouth were somehow both insanely sexy, he just wanted to fuck the little motherfucker senseless; at the same time so adorable he just wanted to caress his face and kiss his nose and his eyelids and his forehead and his cheek-

Tavros was just motherfucking perfect, a miracle, how did he land such a wonderful little motherfucker, he really didn't know. He was always smiling, always had a bright glint in his eye of happiness.

"Wow, bro, you're just so motherfuckin' miraculous..." he mumbled to himself, his voice trailing away.

It wasn't long before he just had to begin touching himself to the thoughts. His boner came back almost immediately, just by thinking about Tavros.

"Hmmm..." He groaned quietly, yanking at his erection and allowed vision to dance in his head; visions of Tavros wriggling beneath him and whining pitifully.

God he had come to _close _earlier; so close to being able to please him with his mouth. He hadn't even cared how hard he had been at the time, _he just wanted to make Tavros so motherfucking happy._. The small noises that escaped Tavros were both sexy and adorable. The feel of his skin under his lips was so soft; he could only imagine what his boner would taste like under his tongue.

Locking his jaw, he came against the smooth, tiled wall. The liquid was swept away with water, and Gamzee was left with a few lazy pants before he dropped his hand under the spray of water to wash it off.

He had come so close earlier. _So close. _But in the end, Tavros couldn't do it. Gamzee didn't mind; he loved Tavros so much and he didn't give two shits if he didn't want to have any form of sex with him yet, because just being his boyfriend was good enough for him.

After using some of Tavros's nice-smelling shampoo, he took a hold of the conditioner. "Never up and used this shit before," he mused before pouring some on his head and mixing it into his hair.

Once he rinsed it off, he marveled how his hair felt between his fingers, "Holy fucking shit," he murmured as the strands fell between his digits, "So motherfucking soft."

He turned off the shower and stepped out onto the tiled floor. Tavros instructed there were clean towels under the counter. He found them and wrapped himself up at once, drying off his body and securing it around his waist.

Gamzee never did think things through well. He left the bathroom in the towel, repeatedly running his fingers through his floppy, wet hair, still obsessing over how motherfucking soft it was. "Hey bro, you wouldn't by any chance have any old clothes or somethin'?"

Tavros was still on the bed where he left him. He had returned to his video game, and appeared to be very startled when Gamzee entered.

He turned his head towards him, widened his eyes, went red, then turned back to the screen hurriedly, "T-there might be, some shorts in my dresser that, I might have never worn. Please, welcome yourself, to them."

Gamzee searched for the said shorts down and pulled them on. They were plain, dark blue, and far too small for him, which was fine, he guessed. If not for Tavros's discomfort, he would have went around naked. He tossed the towel to the floor, and crawled onto the bed to cuddle Tavros some more. He dropped his forehead onto the back of Tavros's head and wrapped his arms around him once again, holding him in a tight embrace. He was like a warm, overgrown plush he could cuddle every night until the end of motherfucking time.

Luckily he remembered to bring up his bag earlier, so he decided to absent-mindedly do homework for his college classes. It was tedious shit, but Gamzee did it anyway.

He found, as it entered the more later hours, he ran out of all the Faygo he had stashed in the car, "Hey bro?" Gamzee asked as he glanced up from his perch at Tavros's desk.

Tavros was still playing video games, mostly ignoring Gamzee and the piles of homework he had, "Huh?" he asked absent-mindedly.

"Got anything to drink in that fridge o' yours downstairs?" He had looked in it before, but he couldn't really remember now. It was all a haze, like most small details in his memories that weren't substantial.

"Ummm... I dunno, you could, check I guess?"

Gamzee shrugged and swung himself off the chair, and sauntered down the stairs, through the front room and into the kitchen. The light here was brighter than the rest of the house, and he found himself rubbing his eyes as he crossed the small room to the fridge. But before he opened it, a voice startled him into jumping in the air and letting out a small _honk. _

Tavros's dad was chilling at the table, beer in one hand and a pen in the others. Papers lay haphazardly all around him, seemingly in no particular organization or order. When he regarded him, it was with annoyance, and a bit of surprise. His eyes seemed very tired though, so his minor glare had little effect on Gamzee.

"Any reason you're walking around naked in my house at eight at night?"

"Whoaaaa... Eight already? Just up and got here a few hours ago, yo." He replied, running a hand through his hair. "Holy fucking shit, when conditioner dries it leaves your hair soft, man."

"Why?"

"I don't motherfuckin' know, some motherfuckin' ingredient or some shit," Gamzee shrugged and turned away form Tavros's dad and opened the fridge in search if liquids.

"No-" he sounded very short, "I mean, why the hell are you in my house, naked, at this time of night?"

"Well technically, motherfucker, I ain't naked, I got these little fuckers on," Gamzee didn't turn around, but he tugged at the hem of the shorts. They barely covered past his buttcheeks though, because they were so undersized. "Plus, Tavbro let me stay the night since he doesn't wanna up n' stay over at my place."

"Why don't you just go the hell home, then? It's my house anyway, not his, and I certainly didn't invite you."

God, just his motherfucking voice was irritating. Gamzee turned around now, confronting Tavros's dad, "Because I wanna stay with my motherfuckin' boyfriend. I ain't doing you no motherfuckin' trouble, bro, I haven't even been causing any noise or nothing."

"That isn't the point."

"Then what the fuck is it? All I'm motherfuckin' doing is chilling in Tavbro's room, watching him play his motherfuckin games and getting my cuddle on. I ain't seeing where the problem is."

He watched him for a few moments, eyes narrowing. Then, he took a swig of his beer, and slammed it down on the table. Not with force, but he simply wasn't trying to keep it from hitting the table hard. "Tell me something, what exactly do you see in my son anyway?"

Even with a mind that wasn't completely there, Gamzee sensed the subject change as a tender one. "What isn't there motherfuckin' to see, Nitram? Tavbro is a miracle."

He appeared to be a little confused by the statement. There was still an irritated glint in his eyes, though. "How the hell is he a miracle?"

Gamzee's eye twitched, "Well for motherfuckin' one, it's a miracle that, despite having a fuckin' dick of a dad, he's one happy motherfuckin' camper."

"Did you just fucking call me a dick?"

"Well you are his motherfuckin' dad."

"I'm not a dick, you little shit, I raised him despite what he did-"

"And what did he do-?" Gamzee growled, grabbing at the back of one of the chairs at the table. "Despite dealing with you? And the motherfuckin' bullshit at school?" No, he really pretty sick of it. Gamzee could usually deal with the thought of Tavros having to deal with crap his whole life. He knew Tavros was strong, and could deal with it all the shit he put up with very well, but sometimes it was just overbearing. He could still remember how he met Tavros- he was being beaten up by people at his school, and the time his father yelled at him so terribly. God, just the memory was making his skin itch with rage. He was clenching the back of the chair to the point of white knuckles and aching fingers, so he directed his anger into the chair and threw it onto the ground for emphasis.

Gamzee didn't stick around for the reaction, because now his mind was set on Tavros again. What if the little motherfucker was startled by the sudden noise?

When he entered the room, Tavros turned towards him, biting his lip, "Uh, you okay? I heard, a crash."

"Motherfuckin' fine, bro." Gamzee replied, his voice a bit harsher than necessary, as he shut the door and locked it.

"Oh... alright, then. D-did you, get something to drink?" Tavros's eyes trailed down to his empty hands.

"Naw motherfucker, you didn't have shit in the fridge." He replied as he crossed the room, crawled onto the bed and got under the covers. He couldn't exactly take his medicine right now, so he figured sleep would be best for calming himself down.

"Um, going to bed...?"

"Yeah, bro."

There was a pause."...It's only eight, though."

Gamzee flipped back the covers, reached over and tugged Tavros from the other side of the bed. He let out a startled squeak, and the controller fell from his fingers as Gamzee cuddled him around the midsection and tried to get him under the covers as well.

"Ghhaah! That- tickles!"

"Bro, you gotta stop wiggling then."

"B-but I'm not even ready for bed!"

Once Gamzee secured him, he planted his forehead into the soft cotton material of his shirt and kept it there for the longest time.

He didn't want his bro to realize that he was angry. Well, perhaps not angry; just a bit rustled the wrong way. His moods were always extreme, and rarely in between. Either he was in his normal state of elation and being lethargic, or he was raging beyond belief. Right now he was about the teeter, so the best thing to do was to just let his mind slip, and let him just be with his bro, who sat still and gently ran his fingers through Gamzee's hair despite his predicted confusion.

"You okay?" He murmured as his fingers tangled with the fluffy locks.

"I'm all fine, Tavbro." Gamzee assured, "Just all up and not too pleased with your dad."

The fingers stopped moving, "...W-what happened downstairs?" His voice was lined with a small amount of stress.

"Nothin' important."

"What, was the crash?"

"A motherfuckin' chair."

Maybe Tavros wanted to ask more, but he didn't, which Gamzee appreciated. Tavros just continued moving his fingers again, and Gamzee shut his eyes tight and inhaled the specific scent of Tavros. The soft fabric of his warm shirt against his cheek and the soft touch in his air was like a lullaby being sung to a small child.

When Gamzee was nearly half asleep, Tavros left, claiming to get ready for bed. It was several minutes before he wheeled out of the bathroom in a pair of pajama pants and a tank-top, and the scent of toothpaste hung in the air around him. He was a bit disappointed; he half-expected Tavros to wear shorts, (he had yet to wear any around him, and he was a bit curious what Tavros's nubby legs felt like.)

"Don't you wear shorts or somethin' to bed, Tavbro?" Gamzee said, his voice slurred with weariness.

"Um, sometimes, but, I'd rather not when I'm sleeping, with you."

"You know I ain't about the judge or anythin', I was just all curious and shits."

Tavros turned off his video game and TV and pulled himself onto the bed, "I-I know you wouldn't, Gamzee." He grinned his normal tiny grin.

Tavros slipped under the covers at the very edge of the bed and turned off the lamp. The room was dim now, and as Gamzee's eyes adjusted to the darkness, he found Tavros's outline and quickly ceased him.

When Tavros stayed at his apartment, he used to take the couch, but Gamzee began insisting he slept in the bed alongside him. Tavros seemed to like it enough, and usually cuddled with Gamzee each night until he fell asleep.

But they were on different grounds now, in his bed, and maybe Tavros was less eager to cuddle as closely. That wasn't really stopping the older man, though. He clung to Tavros and kissed at his cheeks.

"You're, awfully awake, now," Tavros observed as he face was assaulted.

"Just kissin' you goodnight, bro." He murmured as he hugged around Tavros's midsection and rested his hand on his hip, tugging him so close that they practically melded together.

Gamzee felt Tavros return the kiss quickly and probably more deeply than necessary. He was captivated by it, and soon it deepened and he began trying to get closer, and closer and at some point his tongue slipped into Tavros's mouth and the two appendages slid along each other until it became so sloppy Gamzee became mindless.

His hand slid from Tavros's hip and down his short leg and around to the inner part, where the skin was more sensitive; the other man's body shivered. But before they got any further Tavros pushed Gamzee away and took a few deep breaths.

"N-not yet," he told Gamzee firmly.

"Not yet, bro? Didn't know that make-out was goin' in that direction."

"...Your hand."

Gamzee's hand was resting on the inner part of his upper leg, almost brushing a certain bulge.

"Sorry, Tav, got carried away there."

Tavros's face was unreadable in the darkness of the room, but he left out a soft sigh, "Your birthday is soon, right?"

Gamzee had to think about that, since he really didn't up and celebrate his birthday much. "The 24th."

Tavros's hand patted around a few times before he found Gamzee's cheek. He slipped his hand around the back of his head and pulled him in close to peck him on the nose, "Soon, then."

"You implyin' we're doing shit on my birthday?" Gamzee asked with a grin that Tavros wouldn't be able to see.

"M-maybe."

With that, Gamzee returned to laying on the pillow, his arm wrapping around Tavros's midsection. He had long forgotten Tavros's dad's infuriating ways, the only thing on his mind at the moment was sleep and Tavros, who was laying next to him.

_Motherfuckin' sweet, I have shit to look forward to. _


	29. Chapter 29

_**i don't know what i'm doing**_

_**also nepeta's typing quirk is screwed up on ffnet's formatting**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>At Fault: Chapter 29<strong>_

**-arsenicCatnip [AC] began pestering adiosToreador [AT]-**

AC: :33 *ac runs and hugs tavros*

AC: :33 *then curls up next to him*

AC: :33 *hello ac says*

AT: hELLO, *i SAY BACK,*

AC: :33 i'm so excited for vacation!

AC: :33 and christmas!

AC: :33 i love not having to worry about classes

AC: :33 *ac giggles*

AT: *jOINS IN THE LAUGHS, bECAUSE i TOO AGREE THAT IT IS, wONDERFUL NOT HAVING SCHOOL RIGHT NOW,*

AT: *aND THE FACT THAT cHRISTMAS IS SOON,*

AC: :33 *ac jumps up and joins in excitement!*

AT: *tRIES TO JOIN BUT, rEMEMBERS MY LEGS AND INSTEAD FALLS OFF MY CHAIR,*

AC: :33 *ac frets and pats him*

AC: :33 sorry! :((

AC: :33 *ac picks you up and puts you on her shoulders!*

AC: :33 *ac is STRONG!*

AC: :33 *ac giggles because she copied equius*

AT: *aND i, aPPRECIATE WHAT YOU ARE DOING, bUT i AM SORT OF HEAVY AND i PREFER BEING IN MY, cHAIR,*

AC: :33 *sorry she says! she puts at back in his wheelchair*

AC: :33 but yeah, really excited

AT: oH, sAME nEPETA, iT'S ONLY BEEN A FEW DAYS OF VACATION AND, mY STRESS HAS REALLY GONE DOWN, bECAUSE IT WAS REALLY HIGH EARLIER DUE TO, aLL THE CLASSES AND PROJECTS AND EXAMS,,, }:/

AC: :33 yeah :\\

AC: :33 but it's okay because break!

AC: :33 you doing anything cool?

AT: oH, i'VE BEEN FLARPING WITH aRADIA FOR TWO DAYS STRAIGHT NOW,,,

AT: sINCE NO SCHOOL OR HOMEWORK TO INTERRUPT US, wE'VE GOTTEN SOME SERIOUS GAMING IN,

AT: iT'S VERY, uH, sICK, }:D

AC: :33 thats cool!

AC: :33 but aren't you tired? *ac frowns*

AT: vERY,,,, i KEEP ALMOST FALLING ASLEEP, oN MY, kEYBOARD, }:(

AT: aRADIA JUST WENT TO BED, nOT TOO LONG AGO, bECAUSE SHE STATED HOW TIRED SHE WAS,

AT: i WAS JUST COMING ON PESTERCHUM FOR A MINUTE TO SEE IF, aNYBODY WAS ON,

AC: :33 *ac grins mischievously*

AC: :33 you mean your boooooyfriend?

AC: :33 :oo

AT: wELL, yEAH, bUT HE WASN'T ON, pROBABLY WORKING,

AT: bUT THAT IS ALRIGHT, bECAUSE, yOU'RE ON, }:)

AC: :33 well thats alright then!

AC: :33 i was actually gonna ask you a question

AC: :33 but youre tired so i dont wanna deprive you of sleep

AT: oH, wELL, yOU CAN STILL ASK, mAYBE, iF YOU WANT,

AT: i AM NOT SO TIRED i CAN'T ANSWER A QUESTION,

AC: :33 oh alright

AC: :33 well actually i was gonna ask if you wanted to go shopping with me later!

AC: :33 i gotta shop for my bros and sises so i was wondering if you wanted to go with me to shop for your friends or family?

AC: :33 equius says he can drop us off at the mall but he has to go do something for the day

AT: wELL, tHAT DOES SOUND LIKE A GOOD IDEA, i WANT TO UM, lOOK FOR SOMETHING FOR gAMZEE AND MY GRANDMA,,,,

AT: mY GRANDMA, sENT ME SOME CHRISTMAS MONEY EARLY, wHICH WAS VERY KIND OF HER, sO i THOUGHT i WOULD GET HER SOMETHING EXTRA, uH SPECIAL,

AC: :33 awwww thats nice!

AC: :33 what about gamzee

AT: i HAVE AN IDEA, bUT UM, oNLY AN IDEA, i AM NOT COMPLETELY SURE i WILL GO THROUGH WITH IT, oR NOT,

AC: :33 what idea? :oo

AT: nOT TELLING, yET, };) iT'S WHAT ONE WOULD CALL, a SECRET,

AC: :33 ohhhh

AC: :33 alrighty!

AC: :33 but i expect you to tell me at some point! :/

AT: yEAH,

AT: sO WHEN DO YOU WANT TO GO ON THIS ALLEGED, 'sHOPPING TRIP'?

AC: :33 i was thinking this afternoon when my parents get home

AC: :33 since i have to watch my siblings!

AC: :33 but if you're tired...

AT: nO, tHAT IS FINE, i CAN TAKE A SHORT NAP OR SOMETHING, }:)

AT: sPEAKING OF NAPS, i AM ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP, sO i WILL MESSAGE YOU AROUND THREE OR FOUR,

AT: uNTIL THEN, i THINK IT WOULD BENEFIT ME IF i SLEEP NOW,

AC: :33 yes!

AC: :33 *ac hugs at*

AC: :33 bye

AT: *hUGS BACK,*

AT: bYE, }:)

**-adiosToreador[AT] ceased pestering arsenicCatnip[AC]-**

Tavros barely had the energy to roll away from the trash-covered desk (left-overs of his all-nighter) and make it to his bed where he stripped to his boxers and threw himself into the covers.

* * *

><p>Tavros woke up around three. He was groggy, and he couldn't really see straight. His head and eyes begged for sleep, but he forced himself into his wheelchair and into the bathroom to get himself cleaned up. Quickly, he washed his face, teeth, and mohawk in the sink, and pulled on some clean clothes; a black shirt with a Pikachu on the front and a pair of jeans. They tangled a bit, but he ignored it as he tiredly returned to his computer and logged back onto pesterchum. After checking with Nepeta real fast, he found out that she and Equius would pick him up in 20 minutes. He used his spare time to pick up his 'station' of trash, and prepare it for the next all-nighter.<p>

When Nepeta and Equius arrived, it was a short drive to the mall.

"You two better not waste anytime; this isn't a couple of teenagers on an outing." Equius warned, not unlike a fretful parent.

Nepeta rolled her eyes dramatically, "We can still have fun, you know."

"Not when you need to be done at a certain time. There is a time, and a place, for fun."

She replied with a mumble that couldn't be heard from the backseat where Tavros was, so he let it go.

When they made to to their destination, Nepeta leapt out eagerly and went tearing to the entrance, only remembering when she was halfway through the front door that Tavros was having issues. Equius rolled his eyes, probably at Nepeta's haste and cluelessness, and helped Tavros instead.

Once that was taken care of, Nepeta waved Equius off quickly before turning to Tavros, her eyes gleaming, "I love shopping for other people! This is gonna be fun, no matter what grumpy-butt says."

"Oh, good."

"First, we can go to the toy store, so I can shop for my younger siblings! Is that okay?"

"F-fine with me, I have no, specific place I can think of right now."

Nepeta replied, "Great!" Then grabbed the back of his chair and practically ran towards the said store.

"You d-don't have to, uh, push me!" Tavros tried to tell her, but of no avail, she just kept pushing until they both almost steered straight into a group of people. They managed to swerve out of the way, but they still received confused and dirty looks.

Upon arriving at the pink and baby-blue themed store, Nepeta finally began pushing his chair at a normal pace, "I figure you're all tired still! So don't mind me pushing your wheelchair around!" She explained as she weaved through the isles.

Eventually she selected some useless toys and trinkets, among other things, and left Tavros to browse on his own. He was only shopping for his grandma and Gamzee and maybe his friends if he came across something. There certainly wasn't anything in a toy store for them! He ended up in the plush section anyway, looking around seemingly absent-mindedly. He sort of had a thing for plushies though- they were soft, and usually pretty adorable to look at.

"Hm, uh, I wonder if Nepeta would like one of these..." he thought to himself as he plucked a cat plush from the selections. It was black, with dark blue paws and ears. It reminded him of the hat that Nepeta would sometimes wear, which was the same shade of blue.

He ended up buying it for her.

Tavros met her outside the store a few minutes later, in her hands two bags filled with things. In his lap was a smaller, dark brown bag that hid her Christmas present.

"Ohhhh! Found something?" She observed, craning her neck and trying to peer inside.

"Yeah, but, you can't see it." He explained, giving her a weak and unreal glare.

"Heh, alright. Now I gotta find something for my parents. How about you?"

"Um.. Something for my grandmother, and Gamzee. A-also, going to try and get something for Aradia and, Jade, if I can."

"What, nothing for me? I'm hurt, Tavros!" Nepeta replied, in a mostly teasing manner.

"What do, you think, is in the bag?"

They continued their trek around the area, trying to find stores to buy presents. Eventually, Tavros picked up a few things for his grandmother- a small statue of a wolf posing on the edge of a cliff. It was perhaps eight inches tall or so. His grandmother had a habit of collecting little statues. He wasn't sure if she had a wolf, and if she did, hopefully it wasn't in such a stereotypical also went and bought a new fancy collar for her dog.

Nepeta stopped in a hunting supplies store and marveled at the hunting knives. Somehow, despite his love for animals, and how he tried to be a vegetarian, two of his closest friends loved to hunt. Although Nepeta couldn't buy any of the knives since she wasn't old enough, Tavros wished he could have boughten one for Jade. Instead, he ended up buying her a dark, fluffy hat with earmuffs and dog ears on the top. It might come in handy for nights in the mountains, when it's all cold. He'd have to get it to her before she left, though.

Despite Nepeta not liking it, he bought something for his dad too. A beer mug with his favorite sports team on the side. He didn't want to get very fancy with the gift, for obvious reasons.

Finally, it was time for Gamzee's gift. He had been putting a lot of thought into it, but now that he was actually confronted with having to go and _buy_ it, the idea wasn't so appealing anymore.

Nepeta, holding a total of four big bags filled to the brim, watched him expectedly, "Ready to go? Equius'll be here soon."

"Uh, I need to get something for Gamzee."

Her eyes brightened, but fell as he entered a music store and browsed the rap section (primarily the terrible rap section). "Is this really your present for him? Isn't it sort of... plain?"

"Oh, um, this isn't all of it." Tavros replied as he carefully selected CDs he knew Gamzee would love. "I have another, idea, I just, m-might be stalling."

Tavros paid for the CDs and put them in the big bag on his lap that was overflowing with gifts. It was poised to fall soon, so he wanted to hurry and finish their shopping.

Only, he had no idea where to look for the rest of Gamzee's present.

"Uhm, hey, Nepeta?"

"Yeeeeees?"

"For Gamzee's present, I'm not, s-sure where to look?"

Nepeta appeared curious, "Well, I'm sure I can help. What are you looking for?"

Tavros scratched his head; this was a lot easier in his head. "Well, I was simply going to combine his birthday present, w-with his Christmas present, since his birthday is the 24th.

"Whoa, really? That's paw-some, having your birthday a day before Christmas."

"Y-yeah! Well, a little bit ago, uh, I promised... sex on his birthday-"

Her face lit up; not with a blush, but excitement. There didn't seem to be a trace of embarrassment.

"-yeah, so-"

"-so you need to make a romaaaaaaantic atmosphere?" Nepeta finished, leaning down excitedly. (Though not that much, she was rather short for her age.)

"Well sort of, I-I just am not entirely sure, perhaps, that I know how to prepare. And it would be beneficial if, I was prepared- please, stop laughing, uh..."

"Sorry," she managed, "Just, I think I know what you're saying. Come with me!" She spun around, "I just hope Equius doesn't come looking for me. He'll throw a fit if he finds us in this store."

A bit scared by that, he followed his mirthful guide through the mall until they stopped in front of a dark store. Inside was along the lines of indescribable; the walls were black and lined with several accessories. It seemed that everybody in the store either lurked, or were loud and raucous young adults and teenagers. Nepeta guided him to the back of the store, where shelves were lined with things he'd rather not look at or think about.

"Ah here we go-!" She sang and pointed at one of the shelves. Lining the shelves were tubes and rounded containers of lube.

"Oh, uh, so many different kinds..." he murmured; looking at the several dozens of selections with different flavors and wondering if he made some sort of huge mistake.

"Yup! And over here, need these too, right?" Nepeta asked as she turned the corner.

"Those too... I guess? But, why, it's not like I will be able to, er, impregnate him."

"Oh condoms have their uses, Tavros."

"Oh..."

"Look! They have glow in the dark!"

"Um."

"And different flavors- look at all these!"

"Uh-"

"-what size are you?"

"-N-Nepeta!"

"Well?"

"H-how should I, possibly know that?"

"You're right, can never be too careful." With that said, she shoved at least four or five boxes at him, all different sizes and colors.

"Oh you didn't grab any of that." She swerved past him.

"Nepeta... I think you're being, rather overbearing, and perhaps helping a bit too much, on this..."

"I just wanna help, Tavros." Nepeta replied earnestly. "I want you to be happy with Gamzee, and get e-fur-ything right!- ah ha!" She selected some and shoved it along with his box of condoms. "Anything else?"

"Thank you... and, hmmm... I don't know, I've never been in a, sexual situation before, um, are there... candles involved?"

Nepeta shrugged, "Sometimes. Might just be in the movies though." The grin returned to her face, "You should get some anyway!"

"Oh god-" Tavros started as Nepeta swung behind the wheelchair again and quickly went to the cashier lady. He paid for the things, earning strange stares from the people around him, and then was wheeled out of the store.

After buying some candles, among other things, and after feeling genuinely silly about the whole ordeal, they left the mall in time to meet Equius out near the front. On the way home, he logged onto his phone's pesterchum.

**-adiosToreador [AT] began pestering terminallyCapricious [TC]-**

AT: 3

TC: tAaAaAaV. :o)

TC: 3

TC: sUp My LiTtTlE bRo?

TC: HeArD fRoM eQuIuS yOu WeRe GeTtInG yOuR bUsY oN wItH nEpEtA aNd ShOpPiNg.

AT: oH, yEAH,

AT: jUST GOT DONE IN FACT, aND CURRENTLY i AM HEADING HOME, }:)

AT: bUT WHEN WERE, uH, yOU WITH eQUIUS? }:o

TC: JuSt NoW bRoThEr. I wAs JuSt GeTtInG mY cHiLl On wItH hIm.

AT: oH, aLRIGHT,

TC: gEt aNyThInG gOoD wHiLe YoU wErE sHoPpInG?

AT: oH, yEAH i DID, i BOUGHT GIFTS FOR SOME OF MY FRIENDS, aND MY GRANDMA AND DAD, aND YOU OF COURSE,

AT: bUT YOU CANNOT KNOW WHAT IT IS, iT'S A SECRET, }:x

TC: cOuRsE TaV. ;o)

AT: i'M HOME NOW, i'LL TALK TO YOU SOON,

TC: sEe Ya tAvBrO.

AT: 3

TC: 3

**-adiosToreador [AT] ceased pestering terminallyCapricious [TC]-**


	30. Chapter 30

**_comes up with a variation of excuses for why i'm updating weeks later. also double updates because ily guys._**

**_all reviews and favorites and alerts are really appreciated! hearts hearts hearts!_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>At Fault: Chapter 30<em>**

Outside, the weather was biting in a manner that the air was freezing; it nipped at bare skin, and the ground was covered in a thin layer of powdery snow that had fallen over night. Inside though, it was warm. The air was thick with the heat of the dusty, old furnace, and the smell of good things.

The last few days had been a strange combination of calm and hectic. Tavros spent much of his time not only helping wrap Nepeta's gifts, but his own. He also had to package the ones for his grandma and Jade and send them to their addresses. He had to help Gamzee as well, who endearingly wanted to give Tavros some sort of Christmas. That meant helping him tidy up his house, and helping him set up a small two and a half foot tree on the floor in the corner that once housed piles of empty Faygo cans.

The previous day, Karkat and John had come over unexpectedly, (John was originally supposed to visit his dad with Karkat over break, but that was pushed back several days due to private business with his dad). They also helped wrap their presents along with Gamzee and Tavros. Gamzee had no idea what he was doing the entire time, he just struggled with the wrapping paper and covered himself in tape and tried to draw penises on Karkat's arm with a sharpie, while Karkat screamed and rage-quitted. John and Tavros took over, while Gamzee just dragged Karkat off to the kitchen, giving him shooshes and paps all along the way.

Then it was a matter of getting all the presents to each of their friends, which had to be done before Christmas. They traveled across town, much to Karkat's irritation.

"Why deliver them when we could just drop them all at the post office?" He had grouched at Gamzee, giving his best friend a glare.

Gamzee grinned sheepishly, "'Cause bro, they all live nearby, and it's more special if it's delivered to their motherfuckin' doorstep by the people who are giving them the gift."

So while those two had delivered the packages, Tavros and John stayed home to decorate the small tree. John told him that he had been living with Karkat the previous year as well, and Christmas wasn't really celebrated. John and his father always used to celebrate every holiday with much mirth, so it had been a real let-down when Karkat didn't celebrate it the prior year.

Tavros knew the feeling. He and his father never really did much Christmas stuff. He did get gifts though, but trees didn't happen, nor lights. Didn't really have the stereotypical spirit of Christmas.

When Gamzee and Karkat had come home the previous night from giving out the gifts, they seemed rather tired. When Tavros hugged Gamzee on the couch and kissed his hair, he fell straight to sleep. Tavros wasn't sure if he had felt relief or sadness at that; he had spent a good portion of the day just stressing about the evening and where it would lead.

Well, it lead to Gamzee splayed out on his lap drooling from the side of his mouth and snores echoing throughout most of the room.

But, the week wasn't entirely busy. He spent a lot of time gaming with Aradia earlier in the week, neglecting his need for preparation. He'd rather fight the imps and the ogres and make friends with virtual fairies then package and wrap the gifts.

Now, it was actually the day. Gamzee wasn't going to work, and he was off classes for a few days. John and Karkat are in the apartment as well, due to the sudden change in their holiday plans.

They had been spending the duration of the day watching movies of each of their choice. Bottles of Faygo littered the (recently cleaned) floor around them, as did bowls that were half-filled with chips and popcorn. Gamzee laid splayed out on the floor, Karkat sitting in a relaxed pose next to him. For much of the time he'd been uptight and in a grouchy mood, but he eventually loosened up when it was time to watch the movie he brought. His eyes had softened, and he even laughed at some points, surprising Tavros.

He and John took the small couch, wrapped up in an array of separate blankets.

"Jeeze Karkat, that movie was fucking terrible."

Karkat shot John a glare as the credits crawled up the screen in front of a photo of the main couple featured in the movie, "I know you stupid cunt-whiffer; you say that every time I watch this."

"And the statement remains true every time."

"You're one to talk, anyway." Karkat went on, his grouchiness returning quickly, "I swear if you buy another shitty poster of Nic Cage and put it over the bed I will take it and shove it up your ass."

"Don't drag the best actor of all-time into this conversation, Karkat. Nic Cage is ten times better than... than... Adam Sandler."

"Take that back-!"

"-Shhhhhh-," Gamzee's raised voice managed to be heard above the couple's bickering, "-shhhh-" He reached up from where he laid on the floor and stroked Karkat's hair in an almost creepy manner, "-shhhhhhh-" he went on until the room was silent except for his shooshes.

"Gamzee, get your sticky, ass-fucking fingers from my hair." Karkat growled, but his voice was seemingly calmer, in a begrudging sort of way.

John rolled his eyes, "We should open the presents now. I plan on swinging by Dave's here soon."

"Uughhhhh," Karkat interrupted, "We're still going to visit that fucker?"

"Uh, yeah? I told you that we were going whether you like it or not." John replied, "He probably isn't even doing anything for Christmas, it'd be nice to get into some shenanigans with him."

"Doing nothing my ass, he's probably plowing Terezi as we speak." Karkat snorted, his arms firmly crossed.

"Shhhhhhhh-" Gamzee planted his hand over Karkat's mouth now, "-shhhhh. Calm your motherfuckin' tits, brother. It's a motherfuckin' holiday up in here, we should be all little happy clams with pearls and shit."

The other man shoved his hand away, "What did I say about your hands?"

"To get them out of you're motherfuckin' hair? Which, I did."

Karkat's eye twitched, "We're opening presents now. And then I get to descend into the hell that is Dave's apartment."

"That is a bitchtits idea, bro." Gamzee lifted his legs, and swung himself up onto his feet in one swift, gravity-defying motion and sauntered over to the small tree with some gifts under it. Some unwrapped, some wrapped. Earlier John and Karkat brought their gifts as well, and decided to shove them under the tree with Tavros's and Gamzee's. There were seven in all; and Gamzee quickly passed them out.

John was first to open his, which was a new video game that just came out very recently.

From John, Karkat received a collection of shitty romantic comedy movies. Apparently he accidentally lost his last collection in the move, so he was pretty excited; he actually _smiled._

Next, Gamzee opened the present from Tavros; the CDs he got him. Gamzee was very thrilled and covered his face in kisses for it.

When it was time for Tavros to open his gift from Gamzee, he seemed to be watching him with a strange sort of intentness. His body was almost leaning in from where he sat next to the couch on the floor, his normally glazed-over eyes watching carefully and excitedly. The box in Tavros's arms was long and bulky. He'd been eyeing it curiously ever since Gamzee came home with it a few nights ago claiming that it was his Christmas present. His fingers were carefully in opening the package. First, he tore off the badly wrapped paper, and then used the nub of his nail to get off the tape that held the long box together.

When the box was opened, whatever was inside was covered in soft paper and bubble wrap. It was probably pretty fragile, then. Maybe made of glass! Or maybe it was-

As Tavros removed the paper and bubble wrap, he almost choked on nothing.

A silence fell upon the room, and everyone was looking at him expectedly now. But he couldn't _say anything; _he couldn't even _move. _He just stared into the box, his own heart deciding to make its way into his throat. The ability to even know how to breathe was lost, and replaced with just some sort of blank idiocy. His mind wanted to race, but it had nowhere to go except circles.

"Weeeeell?" Gamzee finally pressed after literally several minutes of Tavros in shock.

"I- what-?"

"Tavbro? You know what they up and are don't you?" Gamzee asked him, his grin growing wider with each second.

It was Karkat who broke the silence descending on them again, "They're fucking prosthetics, and you better fucking like them because Gamzee has been wasting his life away working on getting them for a long time now."

It was true; inside the box were a type of prosthesis legs; complete with several parts. It was unlike any other leg prosthetics he had ever seen; they were sleek, and looked very robotic, but unlike other robotic sort of legs, they weren't covered in wires or a messy-looking jumble of metal. The surface was smooth, and wires were invisible. A part that would have been considered a thigh was a bit thin, and it halted right below what would have been a knee. He wanted to reach out and touch them, because they appeared as if they'd be smooth and the surface would feel almost soft, but he couldn't move his hands.

His breaths began to accelerate, out of excitement and surprise and confusion and happiness-

Tavros was overwhelmed with an array of feelings right now; most of all confusion. Surgery was needed to put these on, expensive surgery. Prosthesis themselves, especially this kind, were extremely expensive alone, not to mention the surgery. These as well, were a type he'd never seen before, like they were customized.

"Tav...?" Gamzee put a hand on Tavros's shoulder and gave him a gentle push. "You all up and alright there?"

"I... uh, these-"

"Yeah, brother, see, Equius is such a motherfuckin' bro. His uncle works with motherfuckin' robotics and shit, and has been working to revolutionize robotic prosthetics and shit. Equius doesn't really like the prosthetics and shit, he prefers just up and making robots, but he told me all awhile back that he could figure shit out. Well, uh, man I dunno the details; he said he'd all fill you in on it when he got the chance." Gamzee shrugged, and went on, "I'm motherfuckin' surprised he let me package these fuckers up to give them to you... and as I recall, Equius's uncle-dude-person, man I forgot who it was, knows a surgeon who put his robotic prosthetics on some other motherfuckers that offered to test out his limbs, so these here motherfuckers are real new... and... huh, Tavbro why are your eyes all up and tearing? You okay?"

"I, uh, I-I'm not okay... I still don't f-fully comprehend the, uh, s-situation." He was fumbling over his words several times worse than normal. He tried to grab words, but they kept falling out of his grasp like water.

Gamzee put a hand on the box, "You're gonna get legs, motherfucker. If you wanna go through the surgery and shit, that is. Man it's all really motherfucking complicated I don't up and know how to explain."

"Legs..."

"After surgery, bro, and all that shit about getting used to them, but Equius says that actually only takes like, less than a year, especially with these newer designs his uncle or whoever made."

"T-they look very expensive..." Tavros observed with a faltering voice.

"Naw bro, nothing is too expensive for my precious motherfucker." Gamzee snorted, "Wait no-motherfucker, you're up and crying again..."

"I am unable to help it, because, just, this, is probably, one of the best things to ever happen," his voice faltered again; he was too thick with emotion at the moment.

Gamzee grinned widely, looking very pleased for both himself and Tavros, "So you like it, motherfucker?"

"-I...?" Tavros began, but then he took the box and shoved it to the side at John, reached up and threw his arms around Gamzee's neck. He was forced down to level with Tavros as he dug his face into Gamzee's shoulder. His fingers dug into Gamzee's old shirt, and his eyes were pressing so tight together it hurt.

But this was real.

He was getting legs.

When Tavros was young and in the hospital, he was only seven and the pain of his mother's death was still fresh on his shoulders. The surgery to amputate his legs had also recently happened, just the previous night in fact. When the doctor suggested getting prosthetics, his father refused, claiming they didn't have enough money. The doctor pressed, but still his father refused. Tavros barely remembered the conversation. He had been pumped with painkillers and the physical and mental wound were all still too fresh for him to even comprehend anything properly.

Later, his father told him he didn't need them to function. That and the fact he didn't deserve them. It was the beginning of several struggling years, but he was here now; he was finally getting a chance to get legs again.

Here, this person he hadn't even known a full year, he'd only been dating for a few months, did something far larger than his dad ever chose provide.

Even the prospect of it was too much to comprehend for him.

"I, feel like it's too much, w-way too much," Tavros admitted quietly after many minutes of him just embracing Gamzee.

"Nothing is ever motherfuckin' too much if it's something that'll up and make you smile," Gamzee replied, giving him a squeeze.

Tavros shook his head, his mohawk rustling Gamzee's face.

"All you have to motherfuckin' do is to go through some surgery-"

"Surgery." Tavros choked, "I don't have the money for that."

"I can all pay for it-"

"-no!" Tavros pulled away, his eyes still watering a little bit, "Y-you already got the legs... I won't let you pay for surgery as well, I-"

"-we can talk about it later, motherfucker," Gamzee took Tavros's cheeks in his hands and used his thumb to smear away the tears. "Stop up and stressing your little self, it's time to be motherfuckin' happy."

"Yeah!" John interrupted as he took one of the legs out of the box, pulling it from the foam and observing it, "Look at this, Tavros, it's so cool!"

"It's fucking, amazing, dipshit," Karkat added. "Stop ruining the fucking moment with all this worrying crap."

Tavros let out a shaky sigh and tried to wash away the worry, replacing it with the excitement and shock that coursed through his veins just underneath the fretting.

He imagined what it would be like to walk again, just like he used to when he was younger. Being able to do things easier, not having to crawl up and down stairs, or take elevators or ramps. To be able to go a longer distance without the need for a car. He could stand up to people, he wouldn't be so hesitant. Maybe he'd even be more _confident! _

"Tav, you're crying again..." Gamzee murmured as he put his forehead to Tavros's. "They better up and be tears of happiness."

With a sniff and a reassuring smile, he replied, "Yes, it is indeed, out of joy and thrill, actually, because if it works... I could walk again."

"That's the smile I wanted to see, Tavbro." He chuckled lightly, "Just wanted to know that you liked it."

He couldn't go on talking; he was feeling indescribable right now. For him, after years, to be able to walk again!

It was Gamzee. Gamzee gave this to him.

Damn it, he couldn't stop crying either, and he found himself in Gamzee's shoulder once again, his arms securely wrapped around the taller man's shoulders.

"S-sorry I couldn't give you something great in return," Tavros muttered after a while, still basking in the mirth.

"Fuck bro, you don't owe me shit, it's a gift. 'sides, loved the CDs you got me anyway. Gonna put those motherfuckers on my iPod."

"Oh, uh, those weren't the only things I was gonna give you," Tavros told him, the smile on his face beginning to make his face hurt, "Um, since, you weren't here for your birthday yesterday, a-and I dunno if you remember that promise I made..."

The grin on Gamzee's face turned into more of a smirk; he remembered perfectly well what promise was made. "Shit bro, 'course I recall the promise you made, but I didn't wanna press it or anything."

How the happiness inside his stomach was suddenly combined with waves of nervousness made him almost physically ill. He was having so many feels all at once how was he even coping?

And then Karkat decided to butt in, ruining the moment. "What a fucking beautiful time you two are having. John, I think it's time we left this shit-hole."

John sent him a look, "You wanna give them alone time?" There were underlying hints in his words.

"If I was having a fucking moment with my boyfriend, I wouldn't want a couple of dipshits watching me," Karkat snorted. "Let's get out of here and go visit that ass-stain you call a friend."

John set the box of legs that he had still been holding onto the floor and jumped up from the seat. "Alrighty! Tavros, good luck with your legs! Be sure to show me after you get them on!"

"Yeah, don't fucking die during surgery or something," Karkat added, begrudgingly showing affection in his own way before herding John out the front door.

Tavros waved them bye, a renewed feeling of happy running through him yet again.

Gamzee pulled him close and nuzzled his cheek, "You're so motherfuckin' happy and I love it; your smile is so motherfucking adorable I don't even know what to up n' do with myself half the time."

"I-if we figure this out, I'll get to walk again, maybe, hopefully."

Gamzee wrapped his arms around Tavros and pulled him up so he was resting against his chest while he stood, his body wobbling a little, "For fucking sure, Tav. No maybes or hopefullys about it."

Tavros clung to him around his shoulders, used to being picked up by Gamzee now. The habit probably wouldn't stop even if he did have legs. "B-but the surgery, and, we have to meet with Equius? Probably that, and his uncle as well, and I-I don't know if I can afford surgery, though, it is, very expensive as you know, and-" his rambling was cut off when Gamzee kissed him.

"I said, I already got all your shits figured out. You don't need to stress about it at all, Tavbro; just sit back and enjoy the fact you get to walk again."

Hearing those words ring in his years brought on more excitement. There were so many butterflies in his stomach that he became dizzy. The concept of walking again... It was so indescribable.

Gamzee was heading somewhere; the bedroom. He entered the small room and put Tavros down on the bed.

"You ready to give me your second present, Tav?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>gamzee water you doing tho<strong>_

_**what if you guys break up in like three years**_

_**that leaves you like all short of money and tavros will be forever reminded of you via prosthetics **_


	31. Chapter 31

_**At Fault: Chapter 31**_

Gamzee set Tavros gently down onto his back, keeping him right on the edge of the bed. Gamzee leaned down, resting his knees on the floor, and Tavros watched his face carefully, just waiting. His fingers were still tingling, and his heart was probably going a bit faster than normal. No, not a bit, a lot. It pounded heavily in his chest as his mouth hung open a little, waiting for something to happen.

"Glad you're happy, Tav." Gamzee slurred out, the grin still plastered to his face.

Tavros was happy. Really, really, happy. Words couldn't describe it; he just had waves of happiness that went along with his pounding heart and big, nervous grin. But Gamzee, Tavros noticed, wasn't doing so well. They hadn't had a very close moment all week with being busy with everything, so Tavros never noticed just how tired Gamzee looked. The bags under his eyes were far more prominent than usual, and they drooped a little. He reached out and took Gamzee's face and sort of squished his cheeks with his thumbs.

"Y-yeah, I am really, happy right now," Tavros replied and gave Gamzee a large grin, "But, uh, you look little tired yourself. Would it help if you had a nap, of some sort?"

Gamzee shook his head, "Not before I get my present, motherfucker." His voice was a little distorted due to Tavros squeezing his cheeks and lips.

"Oh... Yeah."

Gamzee grabbed Tavros's hands, pulled them from his face, and cupped them in his own hands before leaning in and giving him a quick peck on the jaw, and then on the side of the mouth, and finally the lips. It was soft at first, almost fleeting, before Tavros was tilting in closer, returning the kiss with just as much energy and exhilaration. The kiss they shared deepened within moments, and Gamzee kept pressing forward to the point where Tavros unbalanced and fell back into the tangle of haphazard blankets on the bed. Gamzee followed, unsuccessfully trying to keep their lips together, and just ended up bashing them together painfully.

Tavros rubbed his lips with his now-free hands, "Uh, ow." He mumbled.

"Sorry, Tav," Gamzee apologized, giving him a kiss on the forward.

Tavros stopped rubbing his lips and reached up to put a hand on Gamzee' cheeks, "It is fine; it was just a simple mistake, r-right?" His hand trailed around Gamzee's head to his neck; he then pushed and brought their lips together again. Gamzee made a muffled sound of surprise at the forcefulness, but melted into it quickly. Their lips slid together perfectly, if not a bit sloppily. When Tavros opened his mouth, Gamzee's tongue entered to explore the crevice. The younger man made a muffled noise that sounded sort of like a moan as he dragged the hand on Gamzee's neck up to the back of his head, where his fingers dug into the knots of messy, unbrushed hair. He tried to press Gamzee's head closer to the point where the kiss almost became painful, but he could hardly help it. Only a few minutes in and he was already excited. He had little control over it at this point, while Gamzee could simply stretch it out as long as he had to, just moving at his own slow pace. He was moving rather slowly, actually, but hopefully that would change as things heated up more.

Gamzee used one elbow that was planted in the mattress to keep himself balance, while his other hand was on Tavros's jaw, coaxing it upwards and trying to bring his mouth closer, even though that was physically impossible. Tavros's free hand wasn't doing much of anything except grasping Gamzee's shoulder; stubby nails digging into the soft fabric of his shirt. It soon moved though, up Gamzee's neck and then back down to hang from the hem of the shirt's material.

They separated to catch some air, and Gamzee used this time to latch his lips onto Tavros's neck; he sucked at the over-sensitive flesh, and then nipped gently with his teeth at the reddened skin. The smaller man growled a little in reaction as a tongue dragged down to his collar-bone. Shivers went down and up his spine when Gamzee nibbled at the skin around the bone. Actually, it felt a bit ticklish, so Tavros breathed a few chuckles that earned a curious look from a man who was working at the ham of his shirt.

"Yeah, you're ticklish aren't you?" He sniggered, giving the collar bone another nip.

The chuckle was a bit more audible that time, "Uh, yes, very much so."

The toothy grin that spread across Gamzee's face was wide and mischievous. He returned to his licking and light biting until Tavros's neck was covered in little red spots and bite marks.

"Mind if I get this here fucker off?" Gamzee asked as he tugged at the younger man's shirt between a thumb and forefinger.

There was a pause, and then Tavros nodded slowly. "Um, hang on." He pushed himself into a sitting position, and Gamzee backed away to give him space. He was already hard, panting, and red at the face, but he wanted to get the stuff he had gotten at the mall a week prior. "N-nepeta suggested I get some things. They are, in a bag, behind the bedside table." Tavros pointed in that direction, "I didn't want you to find it, but I wasn't, uh, sure how to get it to you, really."

Gamzee looked curious, but stood up (Tavros tried not to look at the tenting of his pants) and went over to the bedside table. There was shuffling, and Gamzee pulled out a small black bag. He came back and dumped the contents of the bag on the bed. Several packs of condoms, lube and candles came rolling out.

"I apologize if it wasn't what I was supposed to get, I-I just wasn't sure- why are you, laughing?"

Gamzee had broken out in a fit of giggles, "Aw man bro, you got a lot of condoms there."

Tavros reddened, "I wasn't sure what size I was! Um..."

"And 'course I keep lube around the motherfucking apartment. Candles are a nice touch, though. But a little up n' classy n' shit, don't ya think?"

"W-well like I said, I wasn't entirely sure how to, go about getting anything-" he cut off when a pair of lips were on his own.

"Aw bro," Gamzee murmured when they separated. "Don't need to prepare and shit, I know what I'm doing."

"I-I know-"

"-then don't worry about it," Gamzee interrupted, "You're not allowed to worry about anything. Just let all this shit go, all that nervous and worry, Motherfuckin' bad for your head man." Gamzee wrapped his arms around Tavros and helped him to the center of the bed, as opposed to the edge, so he could lay down and Gamzee could splay out on top of him. "Got it, Tav?"

"Y-yeah..."

Their lips connected again, very carefully at first, but within moments it was sloppy all over again. Tongues touched and danced, while their lips melded into one. They separated, panted, and repeated until their lips were swollen.

"I really," Tavros said between breaths and kisses, "Really like you, Gamzee."

He smirked and breathed a giggle. "I'd be pretty motherfuckin' down if you didn't bro." His lips brushed Tavros's one last time before he pulled away to drag them down his jaw.

"Oh, I have to, get this shirt off," Tavros said as Gamzee peppered kisses down his neck.

Gamzee suddenly sat back on the bed, licking his lips. "Good time to take mine off, too, motherfucker. Great idea." He grasped the bottom of his shirt and quickly yanked it over his head. Tavros was staring, and this time he could stare. Sure, he'd seen Gamzee shirtless before (he had a tendency to walk around in just his boxers a lot). The man was really scrawny and pale, all up the arms and shoulders. He was real skinny around the stomach, and barely had any muscle whatsoever. Tavros loved it, and now, he could touch it. First, he took off his shirt though, shivering at the cold at once.

His arms were far more muscular than Gamzee's due to using his wheelchair all the time. Some very faded freckles peppered his skin along the arms and the upper-back, covering his tannish dark skin in spots. It was like the polar opposite of Gamzee. He flexed his fingers; he was eager to touch Gamzee's bare chest. Before he could touch it, however, he had forced him back against the mattress again. Gamzee's lips were on Tavros's chest, and his long tongue trailed across his skin in a languid manner, leaving a trail of wetness. He dragged his tongue over Tavros's nipple, which immediately caused a verbal reaction. Tavros slapped his hand over his mouth as Gamzee nipped at the nub before carrying on down his stomach and chest.

Tavros breathed heavily, his body rising and falling. His eyes were on Gamzee as he moved lower and lower, dotting his body with red marks. With each mark, a moan escaped Tavros's lips. It was then muffled by his hand, which was placed loosely over his mouth. It did little, because groans of pleasure still made their way out.

When Gamzee reached the hem of Tavros's pants, he fiddled with the button and watched Tavros. He removed his hand from his mouth; he was nibbling his bottom lip with his teeth, "Y-you can take them off..." he murmured anxiously.

He was holding his breath as Gamzee unbutton his jeans and tugged them off his hips and away from his short, stout legs. The pants were discarded elsewhere in the room. All there were was a couple of stumps with some scarring at the end, but it still looked weird. Even Tavros didn't like looking at them much.

Gamzee, on the other hand, seemed fascinated and captivated by his legs. He reached out his hands and ran his fingers down from Tavros's hips, along the thigh and to the stubby end. He was careful though, as if the flesh was still freshly scarred and would cause pain at a simple touch. His hands moved to the inner part of his leg, where they trailed up and carefully around a certain bulge that caused his boxers to tent.

"Mmm... Tav, you're such a beautiful motherfucker." Gamzee murmured in a barely audible voice as he arched down to put his cheek to Tavros's thigh. He gave the inner part of his leg an experimental lick, and at once he got a squeak of surprise that sort of trailed away into something a bit more husky.

He cupped the sides of Tavros's hips in his hands as he ran his tongue up the inside of the leg before moving to the other. He was obviously loving the reactions Tavros was making, just by the way he sort of smirked. Gamzee reached with his thumbs to fiddle with the hem of Tavros's boxers while he watched his face expectantly.

Tavros blinked slowly, as if he were thinking, but his thinking was a little hazy, "Uh, you have to, take off your pants first." He finally pointed out.

"Oh, 'course motherfucker." Gamzee moved away from Tavros and rolled off of the bed, his movements almost liquid-y. He pulled down his jeans to reveal his stocky, pale legs, and he quickly stepped out of them. He pulled off his socks while he was at it, and crawled back onto the bed in his gray-spotted boxers and went back to Tavros, who still lay there almost completely naked, a bulge on the front of his boxers.

Gamzee gave him another kiss on his lips, this one softer than the previous make-outs. While he was doing that, he ran his thumb along the waistband of his boxers. His hips rolled down and suddenly their crotches were grinding _really _hard and Tavros had to move his head to the side just to let out a low, startled gasp. A smirk made its way across Gamzee's face as he pressed his lips lightly against Tavros's exposed neck and breathed a few heavy sighs. He rutted his hips down and caused their boners to grind again. Feelings exploded in Tavros's lower region as something other than his own hand and his imagination ground up against his cock, even if it was through two layers of thin cloth. His hands found Gamzee's sides and he dug his fingers in, the fingernails making small indents that probably hurt. If it did though, Gamzee gave no sign that it even registered.

"Motherfucker that feels like the motherfuckin' shit," Gamzee groaned out as he continued grinding down, their hips rutting against each other.

"Ngg- Gaaaahmzee-" he croaked out, mouth wide.

"You doin' okay there, Tav?" Gamzee murmured into his skin, this pace keeping relatively steady and slow.

"No, I just-" Gamzee suddenly stopped, and Tavros quickly corrects himself, "I mean, uh, I've never quite experienced this before, it's just, new to me is all-"

"Good, I was all worried and shit for a minute, but if you're cool then," he pulled away, "I'll motherfuckin' try something else."

He sat up on his knees, and gave Tavros an approving look-over before hooking a thumb over the waistband of his boxers. As he began tugging the undergarments he reached down and ran his long tongue over each inch of revealed skin. With each lick came another shiver and twitch from the younger man, who was desperately biting at his lip and tried not to moan uncontrollably.

Gamzee did a final tug over his swollen erection and off his nubby legs. He threw them off the bed and locked eyes with Tavros's barely open eyes that were fluttering, "Gooood bro, the sounds you make are just so motherfuckin' hot like motherfuuuucccck just wanna kiss every inch of your body... oh wait, I motherfuckin' can," he pressed his lips to the base of Tavros's dick, "Hell yes."

Tavros sucked in a quick breath of air, his lip trembling. It was hard to even bite his lip to keep from groaning verbally because there were lips on his erection and they were really soft and a little moist. Gamzee ran the lips up the length to the tip were he lazily drawled out his tongue along the head. A little pre-cum seeped from the end, but Gamzee licked it up, and even though Tavros felt he should probably dub that as a little strange and unsanitary he found it pretty hot.

Gamzee drawled his tongue all over the swollen appendage, keeping eye contact with Tavros the entire time. He cupped Tavros's balls and gave them a few massaged squeezes before wrapping his thumb and index finger around the base of his cock. He moved his fingers up and down along the slick skin, and smirked as Tavros was unable to keep a moan from escaping. The younger man's fingers were digging deep into the sheets and bedding, but he de-latched one hand and dug it into Gamzee's tangled hair. He soon had his other hand in Gamzee's hair as his fingers dug into the knots and he clung. If it hurt (which it probably did) Gamzee gave no sign and continued moving his lips and his tongue over Tavros's erection.

Then suddenly, he wrapped his lips around the tip and moved down until he got as much of it in his mouth as he could.

Everything was hot and dizzy; Tavros couldn't see straight if he tried. Heated, moist breath surrounded his dick, and it felt so amazing, even more so when Gamzee began pumping the base where his mouth couldn't reach. He moved his head up until his lips were almost completely off it, and then back down, dragging the swollen lips along. Soon, he was moving at a reasonable speed, his head bobbing up and down, salvia and pre-cum getting everywhere. As his speed accelerated, so did Tavros's breaths. By now his mouth was gaping, and he let loose the moans. He couldn't even really hear himself. He might have been shouting Gamzee's name or incoherent words; he didn't really care because _fuck _he just felt so hot and good.

Tavros's chest rose and fell and small beads of sweet began forming on his skin; they trickled down his body. He tried desperately to push his hips up and roll them into Gamzee's mouth, but he couldn't.

Gamzee used his free hand to pry one of Tavros's hands from his messy hair and twined their fingers. Tavros gripped his hand tightly, the slight support from their joined hands helped as he came closer and closer. Feeling pooled in his lower stomach, and he knew what was coming.

"Gaammzzee- ghhnn- I feel-" he started, but it just broke off into another incoherent groan. In the last moments, Gamzee's speed picked up even more, and god damn Tavros was just so close and getting closer, he just felt nothing but heat except for the trickles of sweat slipping down his sides and on his forehead where there was a slight coolness.

His groan cut off into almost a yell when he tried to form Gamzee's name as he finally came. The cum came spurting out straight into Gamzee's mouth and down his throat. He was sure to somehow swallow it all before pulling away, a strand of silver saliva still connecting him and Tavros's cock. He wiped it off sloppily with the back off his hand, and gave Tavros a wide and lazy grin. "Look motherfuckin' amazing when you cum you know. s'like looking at fireworks when I see you get all motherfuckin' rustled." He dipped back down to kiss Tavros on the forehead.

Tavros was still panting heavily, and felt rather weak and out of it, but he smiled lazily as lips connected with his forehead. "I, uh, can't believe I waited so, long, because that was, really, magnificent..." he murmured, putting his fingers to the sides of Gamzee's face as he pulled back a few inches.

"That was the goal, bro." He replied, shifting a little to get more comfortable.

His hard on rutted against Tavros's thigh though, and his mind clicked. "Um..." he paused to think of the right words. "I can take care of that for you..."

"Mmmm," Gamzee hums, "Don't have to-"

"-I, uh, want to." Tavros cut him off with a faltering voice. "Um..."

Gamzee's boxers were still on, but Tavros could still see the obvious tenting. Gamzee rolled over and lay on his side next to him.

Tavros propped himself up on a elbow to face him, nibbling at his lip a little before pressing his lips to Gamzee's mouth again. His hand fumbled downwards; he tried to mimic Gamzee's previous actions with the gentle touches and kisses, but his hand was clumsy and moved very quickly down Gamzee's pale and skinny torso and mid-section.

"I think your hand is shaking, bro," Gamzee murmured as they pulled away from the kiss for a moment for a few breaths.

"I did not notice," Tavros admitted."Sorry." Then he tried to steady is hand that was hovering over the waistband of Gamzee's boxers. He hooked his fingers under the hem and pushed his hand down. Shivers ran down his spine when he felt his hand brush Gamzee's erection. His hand itched to retract, but he was determined to do this for Gamzee. Confidence! He could do this...!

Gamzee let out a soft, long breath of air and pressed his lips against Tavros's again. With a slight distraction, he absentmindedly wedged his hand down more and curled his fingers around the hot, swollen appendage. It felt strange under his fingertips, and the first stroke was sort of an experiment to see how it felt and what the reaction was. The reaction, he found, was a lengthy moan that rolled into his mouth and he swallowed it. Tavros caused that moan: _he caused it. _He wanted to cause more of a similar nature, so he gave it another stroke with his fingers up to the tip, and back down to the base. He still went slowly, and his fingers shook with his nervousness.

After a few more light groans that rolled into Tavros's mouth, he sort of enjoyed it, so he kept pushing forward as he pumped slowly at Gamzee's erection and they fell. Gamzee landed on his back, and it was a far more comfortable position because Tavros's hand was beginning to cramp.

Suddenly, he found that the boxers were really... in the way. He retracted his hand away from the heat and the pre-cum and tried to push them down. A small whine escaped Gamzee, but once he realized what Tavros was doing he dug his heels into the bedding and lifted his hips. Together then shoved the pair of clothing down to almost his knees before Gamzee kicked legs to fling them off.

Tavros's hand returned to the swollen cock and he went back to pumping at it. His movements were sloppy and still unsure, but he continued, listening to Gamzee's soft breaths and coaxing.

"...Motherfucker you know you're... reeeaaaallly good at his..." he drawled out.

"...god damn Tav..."

"...just motherfucking hell I have been waiting for this for motherfuckin' ever..."

"...fFfFfFfFuCkKkKk..."

Tavros's wrist hurt now, but it only caused his hand to move faster. He was causing all these noises and moans, he was able to please Gamzee and he was really happy.

He reached down and pressed his lips against his jaw, "I, uh, really like the noises you make... it's r-really arousing."

Gamzee pointedly let out a louder groan, tied in with Tavros's name. Though perhaps Tavros's voice was what sent Gamzee over, because his groan was punctuated with a spurt of white liquid escaping him. It got on his hand and the dark purple sheets, which were probably now going to be stained. While Gamzee finished his orgasm with a sigh, Tavros observed his hand, which dripped with sickly white cum.

Gamzee noticed, took his hand in his own, and put one of the soaked fingers on his outstretched tongue. Tavros reddened profusely, "Y-you know that's your own-"

"-don't really up n' care," Gamzee replied, his voice a bit distorted from the finger in his mouth. "Motherfuckin' happy you did that with me, though." His grin widened as he took Tavros's finger from his mouth, reached up, took his face and planted a heavy kiss on his lips.

"Yeah, it was," he paused for a few moments ad he tried to collect thoughts, "Really enjoyable."

Gamzee let out a long sigh and moved his arms around his torso and gave him a squeeze. Tavros let himself melt into the hug, and he wedged his head against Gamzee's neck. He yawned a little, suddenly finding himself very tired after his high.

"W-we never used the things I, picked up, at the store," he observed idly.

There was a moment before Gamzee said, "Motherfuckin' next time."

After that they sat there until Gamzee drifted into sleep. Tavros was tired as well, but his mind drifted back to the package in the front room, the one with the new metal prosthetics in it. He tried not to let himself mull over how surgery could be afforded, or if they worked. And he knew how expensive prosthetic could be- did Gamzee actually pay that much?

"Hnn... honk..." Gamzee muttered in his sleep in between soft snores.

Yeah, maybe he should just try and nap too, despite it being early. His body felt exhausted.

He replayed the recent activities in his head over and over until he drifted into sleep.

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><p><em><strong> writes really cliché christmas sex**_


	32. Chapter 32

**insert millions of excuses here**

**all you need to know is: finishing the school year, taking care of my grandma and skyrim.**

**also, i know the whole "tavros's" vs "tavros'" was settled earlier, but i'm still getting mixed crap about it. even if "travros's" is grammatically wrong, i'll still continue to use it for 1) consistency and 2) i'm still hoping my english teacher was right  
><strong>

**enjoy!~**

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><p><strong><em>At Fault: Chapter 32<em>**

He was rustled awake by a pair of hands on his shoulders and shaking him. Well, it wasn't really waking him up because he just groaned in half-wakefulness and rolled away from the hands, tangling himself amongst the blankets even further. But the hands were persistent and kept shaking his shoulder lightly. From somewhere in his throat a small grunt rose and his arms raised, languid with sleep and swatted at the hands.

Then there was breathing on his ear before a voice spoke, "...Gamzee are you, awake?"

He mouth lifted a little, and in a very slurred manner he replied with, "I'll be all motherfuckin' awake if you want me to be, Bro."

"Well, if you don't wish to, wake up that is fine, but..." he paused, and Gamzee took this moment to turn his head and push it into the side of presumably Tavros's face.

As his nose was filled with Tavros's familiar scent, he recalled the memories from the previous night and chuckled inwardly. "How are you feeling, Tavros?"

"Very well-rested since, we went to bed really early and woke up, pretty late."

"That so? Apparently not late enough 'cause I'm still one tired motherfucker," he replied with a yawn.

"Well I'd hate to, disturb you, but, I don't think I was supposed, to stay the night..."

"Hm? You'd rather motherfuckin' had spent it at your dad's?" Gamzee asked with a slightly laugh in his voice, "Did you have a good time last night?"

"-Of course! I do not think, I have ever had such a thrilling, experience in my life."

He wrapped his arms around Tavros's shoulders; they moved slowly and weakly with sleep still, but he still pulled Tavros close and grinned, "then why not stay in bed all day?"

"I am not sure that is a good idea, Gamzee!" Tavros replied, but not very strongly so he kissed on his cheek and forehead. "Well, it sounds appealing but I don't think it's possible..."

"Then we hafta motherfuckin' try, right?" Gamzee maneuvered himself onto his back and hugged Tavros to his chest. Both their hair was ruffled from sleep, and most of Gamzee's just fell down in his face, strands frizzing out badly. But Tavros looked down at him and pushed the hair aside, exposing his paled face. His eyes were still struggling to open; they were still used to the dark of hiding behind his eyelids.

They probably would have kissed each other, but both their breath tasted like dead baby bowels from sleeping, so they just settled with the few moments of cuddling.

"...I wasn't joking about staying in bed all day." He murmured after a few minutes.

Tavros grinned, "I know, but, I am sort of, excited about my legs."

"Oh yeah, bro? Didja dream about walkin' again?"

Tavros reflected, "No, but I, d-did dream about something." He said suggestively, nuzzled Gamzee's throat, noticeably regarding the marks he had left there the previous night.

"Man you're getting' your frisky on, bro."

"I guess, I am, uh, feeling rather confident, at the moment. Probably because of, last night," Tavros shrugged and pressed his lips against Gamzee's exposed neck.

"Confident?" Gamzee's hands came down to latch onto Tavros's ass cheeks, "Glad I gave you a shot of motherfuckin confidence. Your performance last night was made of miracles, man."

"Well, I, could say that, your's was too," he admitted in a low voice, wiggling as a pair of hands cupped his ass.

Despite their terrible morning breath, they locked lips anyway. Neither of them noticed the knock at the front door, or the sound of someone STRONG barging into the apartment. Only when the bedroom door tore open did they both turn their heads in unison.

"Equius bro, how n' why did you get in?" Gamzee asked, pushing himself up into a sitting position and holding Tavros on his lap.

"Well, Makara, maybe if you'd lock your door..." Equius sighed, "am I interrupting anything...?"

Tavros squeaked and throw his hands over himself, much to Gamzee's amusement, most likely because he had a bit of modesty about him. Gamzee didn't really care, he liked everything to just hang loose. It didn't look like Equius really cared either way, but he still edged his way out of the room, "You asked me to come, Makara, I'd appreciate it if you'd meet me in the living room after you're done with your lewd actions. Where are the prosthetics?"

"Over by the couch, bro. We'll be all done n' out in a minute." Gamzee replied, and Equius nodded and left.

Tavros struggled out of Gamzee's grasp and crawled across the bed, "Where are my pants?" he grumbled.

"Man he said we could finish before we have to head out there," Gamzee drawled.

Tavros scowled, "I realize, that, but I do not want to, uh, keep him waiting."

Gamzee nodded, got up, and went to search for pants. He found a pair of plain pajama pants under Tavros's boxers, and quickly pulled them on. He decided a shirt would be too much effort to bother investing in at the moment, so he turned back to Tavros who was struggling into his pants. "Do you, uh... have my shirt?" Tavros asked when he pulled his pants over his waist. Gamzee glanced around, seeing no Tav shirt, so he tossed him one of his. "Thanks." He pulled it on, then glanced around again.

"Can you, grab my wheelchair?"

Gamzee just went over, picked him up with a grunt of effort and walked out into the living room. He was a bit clumsy dropping Tavros down on the small couch, where he situated himself next to Equius. The man was digging through the package with the legs in it.

"Good to know you didn't scratch them, Makara." He observed without looking up.

"So, uh, you made these legs?" Tavros asked as he watched Equius play with the legs.

"Not quite. My uncle did, actually. He's a Doctor of sorts, and he works with prosthetics of both the basic nature, and more recently robotics. This is a simpler model."

Tavros raised his eyebrows, "Simpler? I thought simple was... l-like a wooden leg."

Equius scowled, "Please, don't insult me and my uncle's work like that. The art of making limbs has gone far. I really have no interest in making fake limbs anyway, it's the robotics part I have a deep interest for. That is the only reason why I agreed to help, since there are some robotic aspects in this." Equius raised one of the legs, "You see it's a transfemoral prosthetic, meaning that it will attach to your leg above the knee, which frankly is the hardest kind of artificial limb..."

Gamzee's head was spinning, even though he'd heard this many, many times before. The whole concept of fake limbs went way beyond him. "So is your uncle going to attach it, or..." Tavros went on and asked.

"No, no. My uncle doesn't do the attaching, but he works closely with somebody that does that sort of thing. Because my uncle makes so many limbs, he needs people to test them on. People offer, so my uncle- er, his name is Arthur by the way, I think that might be easier."

"So, how is it... uh, attached? Through surgery?"

"Depends on how this will fit. There are ways of attaching it to your leg: attaching it to the bone, using the socket method. This specific kind will actually have to attach itself to the bone. A small bolt will be inserted into the bone. After the bone heals around the bolt, a port, similar to a socket, will be attached to the bolt. You will have to be cautious of walking, however, wouldn't want to snap it off. But-!" He started quickly as Tavros suddenly looked fearful, "That is only if you apply a large amount of pressure on it. After the port is put in, you attach the leg. It has robotic elements within the leg that help it move. Sort of like nerves made of wires. It's... complicated, and I shouldn't be going into deeper detail."

Tavros nodded, "And... the, price?"

"Well Gamzee here has already paid for the limbs. But the limbs themselves is only part of it. You will also need a range of therapists and the surgery procedure itself. Both will be an upwards of several thousand dollars, if not more. But insurance covers it, I am sure."

Suddenly, Tavros looked really pale. "But.. I, myself, I don't have insurance, and there's no way that, my dad would agree to this."

Equius raised an eyebrow over his small glasses, "And why would that be?"

Tavros shrugged, "he doesn't think it's worth it..."

"That is a big load of poppycock, Nitram. Perhaps there is... somebody else you could speak with, about it? Mother? Grandparents? Anybody? Try and think of a money source. I can imagine these legs are very important to you."

Gamzee growled under his breath, "Man, Bro, your dad is a piece of flaming motherfuckin' shit. I love people n' all, but man I can't love him."

"Well, I only wanted to be here for a few minutes. It's Christmas day; I should be with the rest of my family. I have a few more errands to run, and then I'll be right on that." He glanced over at Gamzee a little testily, "I explained the situation to Nitram, is that to your liking?"

"Yea, thanks Bro."

"Figure out the money situation and I will be sure to get back on you another day." Equius stood and gave a slight nod and left the room. There was a sound of the front door closing as he left.

"Wow, thought he'd spend more time here than that." Gamzee commented as he went over to Tavros and took a seat on the couch next to him, "You don't look very excited! Thought you'd be all over plannin' this confusing shit."

Tavros's face was twisted up in a certain sort of sadness. It was still lined with happiness though, "Uh, well, like I had mentioned previously, to Equius and I am sure, you heard, that I don't exactly have way to pay... and I mean, it's, several thousand dollars, as Equius said."

Gamzee shrugged, "Bro, you'll find the money. _We_ will find the money. I know all this confusing fake legs and feet stuff means a motherfuckin' lot to you. Just want you to be all up n' happy."

Tavros glanced over carefully, then his eyes trailed into Gamzee's lap, and he took Gamzee's hand which rested on the edge of the couch, "Thank you, so much but, I'd like this to be realistic-"

"Man, I've been realistic about this whole motherfuckin' thing. I don't like knowing how shit works, or anything, but I've been trying for you."

"And I appreciate it, a lot, more than y-you know, I am sure. But, I don't want you to spend any more money on this, you have, uh, done enough already, far too much for me to ever repay."

"Bro, your presence is enough of a repay for me. Not a lot people motherfuckin' stand bein' 'round me, y'know? They all say some shit like I'm high n' as stupid as hell. Never really noticed it before until these last few years. Don't really mind it - I still have my friends 'n stuff."

Tavros shrugged, "I really don't know, why they'd think that. I certainly do not."

"Aw, thanks Bro, but like I said, I don't really mind it or nothin'. Glad I have my friends and my motherfuckin' adorable as shit boyfriend." He gave Tavros a kiss to back up his words.

Tavros returned the kiss and shifted a little where he sat, "I don't think I would be able to get a job, but... I might have to, um, contact my Grandmother for a loan."

"Think that's a good idea?"

"Uh- what? Do you not think it is, a wise idea?"

"Think it's a good idea, actually. Don't think that scumbag of a your dad will help you."

Tavros nodded, "I'm going to have to call her anyway, since it's Christmas..." He looked nervously in the other direction, and Gamzee stare with sort of a glazed-over expression before suddenly springing up from the couch, "You can do that later. Gonna make you some breakfast first, I'm sure you're up n' motherfuckin' hungry after last night, yea?"

Tavros nodded, "That is, a good idea."

Gamzee helped him into his wheelchair, "Then we can call your Grandmother and get this motherfuckin' money bullshit worked out."

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><p><strong>have i mentioned my glorious endings<strong>

**wow ok! so my next update shouldn't be nearly as long. but i will say that this fic is coming to a close soon (not yet! just soon). not sure how long, but i have the basics of future chapters planned out, so! :~) i'm hoping once i'm done i can get onto some other pbj/solkat projects i've been plotting...**


	33. Chapter 33

_** Updating at fault more like... what.**_

_** Yeah I didn't notice I hadn't updated this fic in... oh I dunno, foUR FUCKING MONths (frick, I didn't even notice). So. Yeah. Terribly sorry that I haven't updated in a while, but I was already having doubts about the fic, because I didn't like how I characterized either of them tbh, and then my friend told me "at fault died" after I uploaded the last chapter... so yeah, I lost all motivation. I'll try super hard to finish this story up, because it's not too far away form the end, Maybe 8 or so more chapters? I dunno.**_

_** Thank you for all the reviewers/followers/ect in the last few months! Every time I read a review I opened up this chapter and wrote a few more paragraphs.**_

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><p><strong>At Fault: Chapter 33<strong>

After Tavros and Gamzee had a bit of breakfast that morning (some of Gamzee's omelets, which were okay except they tasted a little sweet, which was no surprise when it came to his food) Tavros decided it was time to phone his grandmother. He had no desire to return to his house, not with his father waiting to scrutinize him more for not coming home Christmas night and instead performing _homosexual activities. _He could practically hear the voice echo within his head, which caused him to shudder slightly and look discontent.

While Gamzee lounged around half clothed (Tavros gave up trying to make him take a shower) he rolled back and forth through the messy apartment, nervously working up the courage to call his grandmother. Every time he reached for his phone, filled with confidence, something would pass through his mind that would cause him to hesitate before he put back his phone and went back to contemplating. He kept bouncing back and forth the same few pros and cons about the whole thing. He knew realistically he was making too much of a deal out of this.

As he pulled out his phone for the fifth time and stared at it, he sighed, flipping it open and then shutting it closed over and over. The phone nearly fell from his hand when he was startled by a pair of arms slithering their way around his neck and falling down in front of his chest.

"You uh, startled me for a moment." Tavros said as he quickly regained composure. "I hadn't expected you, to leave the couch."

"Shit dog, you just keep pacin' back and forth; you're motherfuckin' exhausting me just by watchin' you." Gamzee explained, his sour breath tinkling the back of Tavros's ear and neck.

"I am, about to ask my grandmother for a lot of money, it is, n-naturally, nerve-wracking." Tavros replied, staring down at Gamzee's intertwined fingers that laid against his chest.

"You need to have more motherfuckin confidence, man," he tried to convince his boyfriend as he pressed his lips against the base of his neck, "I can provide some if you want it, Tavbro."

Tavros shivered, "I, think I have the confidence, myself, but it would be nice to have assistance, from a certain somebody," he replied, attempting to be mischievous.

Tavros could feel a wide grin creep along the lips that pressed against his neck. A chuckle passed through the lips, and the breath that most likely smelt of faygo brushed against his skin. It brought out a nice, relaxing sensation that caused him to forget his current problem, for the moment anyway. When he felt Gamzee's tongue inch out and run lightly against the back of his neck to his hairline, he stretched his neck a little. He allowed a shiver pass through him as the cool air hit the moist trail that the appendage left in its wake. As Gamzee leaned in and Tavros leaned back, he brought his arms down lower and took grasp of Tavros's arms that had went limp in his lap. Lithe fingers curled around dark tan ones, gently massaging the knuckles into further relaxation.

"Damn I got one hell of a cute-ass motherfuckin' boyfriend, all the girls are all jealous and shit, y'know that Tav?" Gamzee slurred out near Tavros's ear.

"No, I believe that, my boyfriend is the, as he quoted, "cute-ass motherfucking boyfriend" because, he's so generous and nice and... tall."

"Tall? Shit man, I think you're just a little motherfuckin' shortie." Gamzee chuckled, "but that's what I all like 'bout you. Well one of the things, 'cause you're just a miracle on wheels, man."

"Well, I am in a wheelchair, I can not exactly be very tall, like you. But I guess if I were to uh, stand up, hypothetically, I would still be short," he guessed, legitimately imagining how tall he might be if he had full-grown legs.

"Who motherfuckin' knows man, who motherfuckin' knows." Gamzee concluded, releasing Tavros's hands and drawing his hands up to the younger man's shoulders, using his fingers to relax the muscles there.

Tavros let out a quiet sigh, followed by a purr of some sort, comforted by the hands that massaged his shoulders into relaxation. He really needed it right now.

Tavros almost felt like sleeping, but he was startled from his blissful relaxation by his phone going off.

"...Who is it?..." He grumbled, a bit perturbed by the distraction as he picked up his phone and looked at the caller ID on the screen.

"Well? Who up n' is it, Tav?" Gamzee drawled, slinking his head forward and resting it on Tavros's shoulder, peeking curiously at the phone.

"It isn't giving me, the caller ID. It just says, private," Tavros explained as he flipped open the phone and clicked answer before putting it to his ear, "H-hello?"

"Hello, dear."

Tavros nearly knocked the phone from his hand as he recoiled and jumped a bit. He juggled the imbalanced phone in his hands before putting it to his ear again, "-Grammy?"

"Oh it's so good to speak with you! I thought you forgot about us when you didn't give us a Christmas Call. I called the house but your father didn't sound too well when he answered the phone... he said you never came home."

"Oh- uh- I stayed at my friends house, by accident." He scratched at his cheek with his index finger, trying not to think about the night before.

"By accident...?" She sounded a bit confused, "Well you should probably head home soon to see your father. I'm sure he misses you for the holiday..."

"Yeah, maybe, not so sure though, because he never seems very happy to see me, especially these days."

"I know he can be a bit rough with you, but..."

"Yeah, yeah, I, uh, know but I don't think he'd be very thrilled, with me being there... so how was yours and Grandpa's holiday?"

"Oh it was very, very nice. We went up to the senior center and had a very good lunch while the choir from the church came and sung. It would have been nice to see you though, Deary..."

She continued to talk for a while, details about her trip up to the center, and how she was kind of disappointed that Grandpa didn't get her anything. The neighbor kids gave her a card and a drawing, which she posted on the refrigerator. After she was done speaking, she paused and asked how his holiday went. He wasn't entirely sure how to answer that, so he stumbled over his words quite a bit trying to avoid telling her what actually happened. Gamzee had moved to the floor next to his wheelchair, and was chuckling quietly to himself. He remembered everything, obviously, and was taking amusement in Tavros's sidestepping.

Tavros flexed his fingers, trying to think of a way to word what he wanted from his Grandmother. When the opportunity arose, he blubbered out how he might be able to get a pair of prothetic legs. It was quiet, before she began sounding more excited than he'd ever heard her. It was strange to hear such vibrate emotions coming from his own grandmother. And it began making him quite thrilled, and the old excitement he felt when he was introduced with the idea arose again. He explained as many details as he could recall from the long explanation that Equius gave him a few hours prior.

When it came to explaining about the money, he wasn't very thrilled. He carefully treaded, saying that surgery and recovery was expensive- in the thousands of dollars- and his father most likely wouldn't help.

His grandmother clicked her tongue and mumbled something about 'that boy' (his father) being very selfish. She was quiet for a few minutes after that, and when she spoke again, Tavros could hear the smile in her voice, "I will help you, Dear! There's no way I wouldn't."

She said she would take a trip down there and speak to his father about it. If he stilled refused, then she would help Tavros herself. Thrilled with the prospect of seeing his grandmother again, he thanked her profusely and reminded her that she didn't have to do it. She called him ridiculous.

Then his grandmother was quiet again, and when she spoke, she commented how friendly his friend was for giving him this opportunity. He shuffled a bit in his chair, silent, trying to figure out a way to word his reply. Tavros never did know how his grandmother felt about gays- but- he felt a bit more confident about how open-minded she might be about it, now.

"Uh... well. The friend who got it, is, actually my boyfriend, Gamzee." He said carefully, quietly, almost in a whisper.

"Ohh! Your boyfriend. How is he, dear? Is he nice?"

What-

Wait-

"H-huh? You mean, you know, I mean- you don't seem as, surprised, as I imagined you would be."

"I've known for a while now. Your father called your Grandfather a while ago. He was very angry about the whole thing, called you horrible names. Well, you know, I was sure to put him in his place," She chuckled, and broke off with a single cough, "My generation is known for being very homophobic, I realize. Prior to the 60's, I was quite homophobic myself! But you know, there's no reason to hate somebody for such a silly reason."

It was a huge relief, to hear such acceptance. He let out a long sigh, and said shakily, "Thanks- thank you-," he manages, not realizing how difficult it was to speak for a moment. All that fretting, all the worry, the consent pacing during the morning, was for nothing in the end.

"Well shit, what'd she say, bro?" Gamzee asked, leaning against the side of his wheelchair.

Tavros clamped his hand over Gamzee's mouth, trying to hear what his grandmother what had to say next, but let out a yelp when a slimy tongue drew across his palm.

They spoke for a little while longer before his grandmother had to get off the phone. It was mostly Tavros being excited about his legs and whatnot. When Tavros flipped his phone shut, Gamzee plucked it from his hands, "Well, motherfucker? That didn't sound nearly as motherfuckin' bad as you worried yourself over."

"Yeah, that was kind of, silly, on my part. It was pretty easy to tell her, seeing how she apparently already uh, knew." Tavros scratched at the back of his head guiltily and sent Gamzee a small frown, "I feel bad asking for that money, though."

"Shiiittt, don't bro, it's obvs' that your 'grammy' is lookin' out for you." He snickered lightly, "Grammy. Didn't know you motherfuckin' called her Grammy."

"Er- force of habit- I used to call her that when I was, younger." He explained, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. "I'm just really glad she wasn't angry or upset,"

Gamzee got up and shuffled around until he awkwardly sat on Tavros's lap, his legs hanging off the edge of the wheelchair. He leaned into Tavros, licking his thin lips, "I'm motherfuckin' elated that yer happy, Tav."

Tavros shifted a bit, "You're, squishing me," he mumbled, but didn't make a huge fuss as he leaned in as well and pressed his forward against Gamzee's.

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><p><em><strong>i'm sorry about this shit chapter<strong>_

_**forgive me**_


	34. Chapter 34

** Hi.**

** At least I updated faster this time.**

** I think I've mentioned this before, but, when you see 3's in a weird place, like for hearts or in Nepeta's quirk, it's doing that. They don't show the arrows, and I don't know how to make them appear. So... idk.**

** One more note. While waiting for the bus the other day I managed to plan out the rest of the fic's chapters. The fic should end around chapter 42, unless I plan to add something else!**

** Enjoy :~)**

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><p><em><strong>At Fault: Chapter 34<strong>_

The word "awkward" couldn't even begin to describe the tense situation he had somehow wound up in.

He had arrived home the evening after spending the night with Gamzee, expecting to come across an angry father, only to find him splayed out on the couch, a bottle of vodka on the floor next to the arm that hung lazily off the side. He wasn't wearing anything save for a pair of dirty underwear and a stained wife-beater that showed off his swollen belly (and the underwear wasn't exactly hiding anything). Before he could leave, his father snorted and gurgled. Recoiling in utter disgust, Tavros had decided to just head up to his room and game with Aradia if she was online.

After the holiday was over, and Gamzee had gone back to work and Tavros to school, his grandmother had called again to let him know she was coming down now that the traffic wasn't so treacherous. Because of the holidays, obviously, the roads had been thick with people scrambling to get to the airport or to get back home after being with their families and friends.

When Tavros' father heard that his ex-mom-in-law was coming over, he had been a bit grouchy about it. At one point, his father loved visiting his in-laws, since his were so far away and visits had been hard, but now he had turned into a bitter old man, so it had just left Tavros sighing with exasperation and waiting for his grandmother to show up. When she had arrived, Tavros had this huge grin on his face, and he had rolled over to give her a hug, only, she beat him to it. For an old spanish lady, she could give rib-shattering hugs to anybody.

That left them all with the previously mentioned awkward situation. Tavros sat in his wheelchair near the couch, while his grandfather and his father sat on the couch, exchanging hushed, grumpy words. Grammy sat in a small, unused chair in the corner, next to a long-dead plant that nobody bothered removing. Aside from the occasional whisper, everything was very quiet. Not even the TV was on, despite there being a game (his Grandmother confiscated the remote so they could actually talk to one another [the problem was they weren't]).

His grandparent's dog, whom had come with them, sat obediently next to his chair, comforted by his old friend's presence. He was an old dog, but Tavros remembered playing with him when he was a puppy. Slowly, as if the tension in the room would cut him if he moved too quickly, he stroked the dog's fur. The dog acknowledged him by raising his head slightly and prodding his fingers with a cold, moist nose.

"Well, if this is all we're gonna do, I might as well get a beer." His grandfather spoke up as he pushed his old body off the couch.

"Sit your ass back down." Grammy hissed. He rolled his eyes in response, but sat down anyway.

"Come on, this is a shitty way to spend the day." He told her, gesturing to the TV with a wrinkly hand, "There's a game on that we're missing!"

She glared at him with shockingly venomous eyes, "And you will continue to miss it until we talk this out."

He pushed himself into the cushions and sniffed rudely. "Then c'mon, start talkin' you crazy old coot."

She exhaled heavily, giving her husband another glare before turning to her son-in-law, "So?"

"So what?" He snorted impatiently, obviously not wanting to have this conversation.

"Your son told you about the opportunity to get prosthetic legs?"

"Yeah." He replied testily, "Apparently his little ~boyfriend~ set it up. Like I'm going to oblige to that faggot. Tavros doesn't need legs, he's fucking fine."

Tavros had never seen his grandmother more angry than she was now, and frankly, he was worried for her. She shouldn't be getting so worked up at such an age, but before he could interject, she stood up and started hissing words at both of them.

The dog next to him let out a soft whimper, and Tavros had to agree with him. He continued to stroke and pat the canine's fur, assuring him that it was alright. All the while her grandmother and father roared at each other about him.

His grandmother kept repeating about how Tavros was his son, and that he had to help him, while his father just kept bringing up 'ungrateful faggot'. It wasn't like he'd never heard terms like that spill from his mouth, so he just sit back and dealt with it.

It went on for about twenty minutes, and by then Tavros had edged his way out of the front room and into the kitchen. He could still hear their shouting, but he didn't want to be in the living room with them. The dog followed him, staying near his wheelchair as he dug through the cupboards and refrigerator for food. They certainly weren't short of beer, but he couldn't find much else sustainable. _When was the last time Dad went shopping...?_ He managed to track down some lunch meat in the back of the shelves, but there were only a few bits, so he fed them to the dog, who eagerly chewed them up.

Returning to the cupboards, he pulled out a bag of Doritos that were meant to be eaten during the game. They were already open and a bit stale, but he was hungry, so he shoved a few in his mouth.

Ah yes, chilling in the kitchen alongside a childhood dog friend; an awesome way to spend the evening.

"Tavros! Get in here!" He heard his father call for him, and he put the Doritos on the filthy counter before rolling back in the living room.

"Y-yeah?" Tavros asked, a bit startled by the sudden command.

"Don't eat my Doritos." He growled, "Go up to your room and do your homework, and MAYBE you'll graduate on time."

Tavros didn't have homework, but he guessed being in his room was better than sitting around the living room and listening to his family bicker about him. He rolled past them with an obedient nod, over to the stairs.

"What are you doing, dear?" His grandmother asked, her voice sounding tired and lined with irritation.

"Going to my room?" He offered obviously.

Grammy narrowed her eyes, but Tavros didn't really register it, he just pushed himself off his chair and began making his way up the stairs how he usually did.

"What? What the hell are you doing?!" His grandmother hissed at him before turning to her son-in-law, "What is this? Have you been having him crawl up the stairs all this time?"

He scowled, "There are no bedrooms on the ground floor."

"Why didn't you get a house with ground bedrooms?!"

"This one was the cheapest." He growled, "I wasn't exactly a rich, single father. It's not like it matters-"

He was cut short with a loud _clap_. Tavros' eyes widened as he watched his grandmother slap his dad straight across his cheek. He let out a pained sound, holding his hand to his face, cursing angrily.

"How dare you." She scolded, "How dare you! Has he been doing that since he was a child? What _is_ the matter with you?!"

She didn't wait for a reply, she went over to Tavros. Her step had a limp.

"Get in your chair, Tavros, you're coming with me."

"Grammy- i-it's fine, I-"

"Don't-, just, get in your chair, please."

Biting his lip, he pulled himself back into his wheelchair, "I swear Grammy, it's okay, it's just a few steps-"

"If he wasn't eighteen I would call child services on you." His grandmother hissed, "You don't deserve to be a father. You need to learn to grow the hell up."

His grandmother swarmed out the door, and he followed, the dog right behind them. His grandfather stayed inside, seeming preoccupied with his toenails, while his father continued swearing about his stinging cheek.

Tavros dared to glance over to his grandmother. She looked very strained and tired.

"I'm... I'm uh, sorry, Grammy..."

"There's nothing to be sorry about, Tavros." She assured, looking over at him with an exhausted, wrinkled smile. "If anything, I should be apologizing to you. I had no idea he did that to you... who knows what else he's done."

Tavros shrugged, "y-you know, Gamzee was, just as shocked about it. He started... uh, carrying me up the stairs." He explained, "And tried to keep me at his apartment, even though it's kind of small, and hard to navigate around, kind of."

"He's a good young man." She murmured, "I hope I meet him, soon, Dear."

They got into her old car from like, the 80's, Tavros guessed. "Where are we going?" He asked.

"Hotel. I'm not staying in that house while I'm here," She explained "and neither are you."

They began driving down the slippery street. It was a dreary day that day, even for their place in the world. Clouds filled the skies and they stretched on into the horizon. It was almost raining, but the rain was rather pathetic; it was more like a mist, and the air was cold enough to give Tavros the chills. Then again, any temperature below 60 was enough to give him the chills. Sighing, he turned his head towards the window and let his forehead rest against the rattling window.

"I did not think, you still knew how to drive." He murmured after a while, growing uncomfortable with their long silence.

"Of course. I'm not that old; I had your mother when I was still very young, and they had you when they were still a young couple."

"I know. Just... don't old people stop driving at fifty or sixty years old...?"

Grammy chuckled, and reached over to pat his shoulder before quickly returning her hand to the wheel. "No Dear, but... I wouldn't trust your grandfather behind the wheel of a car."

Tavros frowned and tried to envision his grandpa trying to drive. He didn't like the sight whatsoever, "That's a scary thought, to be honest."

They both laughed.

The hotel was fairly average, and allowed pets.

She got a ground floor at the end of the hallway and made herself at home while Tavros sat in the corner watching crappy cable TV.

"We need to figure out our course of action." She finally declared, sitting down on the bed near him.

Tavros was absorbed in the crappy cable, "Huh? O-oh, yeah, of course." He muted the TV and turned to her. "So what if he does not, want to pay for, my surgery?"

"I'll make him... if I convince him, then, I'll try to get you and our health insurance somehow."

"I do not think, that would be possible."

"...We have a lot of money saved up. A lot of it went to your uncles and aunts, but we still have a lot of saved money. We could use some of that."

Tavros shuffled in his chair, trying to get comfortable, "I would, personally prefer if you didn't have to provide any money, to me."

"Tavros... this is a very important thing, you know. I was appalled when I found out your father refused you to get prosthetics when you were a child. You're an adult now and if there's a way you can walk, then you have to go for it."

Tavros looked down at his hands which were resting on his lap. Twiddling his thumbs he replied. "I am aware, I just wish money wasn't an option."

His grandmother smiled in kind of a pensive way, "I think we all wish that about something or other."

They continued talking for a long time about money, and came to an agreement that she would ultimately have to pay, because his father wouldn't lift a finger to help them. He still had Equius' phone number, to confirm the surgery and meet with his uncle to find out a plan, so he gave him a call. Equius told him he'd get into contact with his uncle and then call Tavros back within the week.

When Tavros hung up, he let out a long sigh, letting excitement wash over him. This was actually happening. He never really thought he'd be able to walk growing up, and just the prospect of it now was enough to make his heart jump several beats.

He still had his phone in his hand, so he opened his contacts and gave Gamzee a call. With a quick confirmation for the time, he decided that now would be a convenient time to speak with Gamzee. He got off work, and he didn't have any classes that evening.

He picked up within a few rings, "HeyYyYy Tavbro, what's up 'n happening? Why weren't you at your motherfuckin' house when I dropped by?"

"Oh, uh," Tavros scratched the back of his head, "Sorry. I'm with Grammy; we just called Equius so he could contact his uncle and we can set up some meeting to decide our, course of action, I presume."

"That's motherfuckin' wicked my fab' Bro!"

"Yeah it is, pretty 'wicked', I guess." He agreed before taking a deep breath "I am, really excited."

"You better be all motherfuckin' excited up in this bitch- oH SHIT mtOHERFUCKer-"

Startled by the sudden curse, he leaned forward, clenching the phone, "Gamzee?!"

There was a distant squeak of tires and a horn before there was a reply, "Sorry man, some jackass ain't drivin' right. Where are you? I'm gonna pick you up, unless yer busy n' shit."

"Uhh..." He scrapped his brain to remember the name, "at the Golden Queen Hotel, I think. The one by,the Petsmart."

"Alright my bro. Be there in a few, then. I'll talk to you later. Love you my motherfuckin' adora-bull boyfren'." The line cut off.

Pocketing the phone down, he blinked, "That was, kind of odd. Apparently Gamzee is going to, pick me up... Are you okay to be here by yourself?"

She smiled sweetly, "That's fine, Dear. I'll stay here the night. Your boyfriend sounds lovely."

"Y-yeah, I guess he is. I mean, he has his faults, like he's not the smartest pickle, in the bunch. However, he makes up for it in loyalty and kindness."

She put a hand on his shoulder in understanding. "I'll stick around here for the meeting." She said as she pulled her hand away, "I want to know who this 'Equius' person is, and who his family is."

Tavros nodded, "I-I have known, Equius pretty vaguely for years now. The most I know is that he's kind of, uh, smart and likes robotics. And that he's 'STRONG'."

"Well, at least he's not a complete stranger." His grandmother concluded, slightly amused. "I think he told me about him once."

"Yeah! He is, Nepeta's best friend. The two are inseparable."

"I do know Nepeta, I think." She mused, "The one that's hyper and likes cats, right?"

Tavros grinned, "She's going to become the crazy cat lady. The good kind, though, not the bad kind."

"There's a good kind of crazy cat lady?" his grandmother seemed falsely perplexed, "Never heard of that one."

The man chuckled under his breath. It felt nice to be around his grandmother in a relaxing environment. He wished they could speak more often.

"You go wait for your boyfriend, Dear. I'm going to relax and go to bed. It's been a long day."

It wasn't that late in the day, but Tavros understood. "You sure you don't want to meet Gamzee?"

She shook her head, "Oh, there will be plenty of time for that, I'm sure."

They exchanged a hug and a goodbye before Tavros left the room. He headed down to the lobby where he sat next to the exit, waiting to see the familiar purple truck and the sound of bass being dropped.

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><p><strong>Every fic needs a badass grandma.<strong>


	35. Chapter 35

**bet you didn't think you'd live to see this fic update**

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><p>It had been awhile since Christmas, but the air outside was still cold. Tavros' surgery was upon him, and for the first time his excitement had been taken over by anxiety. Since he received his "gift", he had been only excited with an underlying fear inevitable before surgery. There wasn't much of a risk for the surgery to go wrong, but it was still nerve-wracking, and also a long time until recovery. His therapist had talked to him a few days ago and told him some helpful things, but he was still nervous.<p>

He was in Gamzee's living room, presently, watching television absentmindedly. He knew Gamzee could sense his anxiety, because he was dotting on him more than usual. It was almost irritating, but he couldn't be too annoyed. The whole thing was endearing, and Tavros wouldn't even be having the surgery without him.

The previously mentioned man was on the couch, leaning over the side of the couch to look at him. "You okay?"

Tavros sighed, "Just, uh, nervous, y'know? Big surgery."

Gamzee smiled his sweetest smile, "It'll be all okay. Don't up an' be all worried about it. Soon You'll be one your motherfuckin' feet in no time."

Tavros frowned at Gamzee; he couldn't simply just shrug something like this off. Not surgery that could potentially go wrong. He couldn't help but be nervous and think of the worst that could possibly happen.

"I'm going to go shower," he meant bath of course, "The hot water might help me relax. Mind if I use your tub?" he added as a question, knowing that Gamzee wouldn't mind so there wasn't really any point in asking.

"Shit bro, do what you want, my pad is yours," Gamzee answered, sauntering over and pushing his wheelchair through the small hallway and into the bathroom. The wheels got tangled on the many pants, shirts and dirty boxers that laid strewn out across the tiled floor.

Once at the tub's side, he reached into it and plugged it up before turning on the hot water. He had sort of a blank face as he hung his hand under the water until it steamed. Suddenly he yelped and pulled his hand back, "Shit, man, that's hot." He cradled his hand as he stood up and kicked the toilet seat down, plopping down on it.

"Wwell, I would expect it to be seeing how it's, uh, on the hottest setting." Tavros told him, raising his eyebrows slightly.

"Oh... you're right. Haaaa, Tav, you're so motherfuckin' observant." He replied, still holding his scolded hand.

The water rose, and Tavros was engrossed within his thoughts of fear for tomorrow over the surgery. Next to him, sitting on the toilet, Gamzee was just staring off into space not appearing to be thinking anything whatsoever. After a while of his dreaded thinking, Tavros finally turned to Gamzee, "How long are you going to, sit there? Because the water is already risen and-"

"-shiiitttt motherfucker, it's nearly to the top. Didn't take very long at all, huh?" he grinned, reached over, and turned the knob until the water ceased coming out of the tap. He pushed himself off the toilet and began taking off his shirt.

"What, are you doing, Gamzee? You do not have to come in, with me."

He didn't answer as he threw off his boxers and pants in one go and turned to Tavros, whom glanced away, trying not to stare. "Shit man, hope you don't mind me joining you."

"I guess, not. I don't really mind, it is uh, your house after all." Tavros replied. He began pulling off his shirt as well, and started wedging off his pants when Gamzee intercepted and took them off way easier. Tavros was till getting used to the whole not-wearing-clothes around his boyfriend, so he glanced off to the side as Gamzee helped Tavros to the side of the tub.

The older man slid down into the hot water, then waved his hand to invite Tavros into the warmth. He didn't hesitant as he clumsily slithered into the water, awkwardly wedging in between Gamzee's legs and resting his back against the other man's torso. In comparison to the heated water, the skin against his back was cool, causing shudders. Gamzee interpreted this as something different, and lifted his dripping arms out from the water and curled them around Tavros' chest. Warmth radiated from the liquid-warmed skin against his skin now and it helped him feel a bit more at ease. Steam wafting around them as they sat in the loose embrace. After they held this position for a few minutes, Gamzee withdrew his hands and began gently massaging Tavros' shoulders. They felt tight with tension from all the recent stress, and he tried to hold back the loud sighs he wanted to exhale.

The long, skinny fingers of the other man ran along his muscles, avoiding the bones and tender parts of his back.

"You're so tight," Gamzee murmured into Tavros' ear. His breath was warm against his sensitive earlobe. He sighed longingly and leaned forward, allowing for easier and more sensual contact. The steam of the hot water was clouding his mind and tunneling his thoughts to only one thing: Gamzee.

His hands seemed to trail lower until they were rubbing along Tavros' lower back. Being touched in such a place was still unfamiliar, but he yearned for it, craved it, to be physically stimulated in ways he was unknown to. Memories from a few nights ago filled his mind, causing blood to pool into his crotch. Gamzee seemed to notice his, and his fingers trailed around Tavros' ticklish hips to his developing hard-on. The tall man placed his chin on Tavros' shoulder and kicked the side of his neck. Tavros lifted his chin in response and began to breathe heavily as Gamzee curled his digits around his swollen cock. His strokes were sluggish, like a dream. It might have been the water, or the steam embracing them, but it felt amazing. His chest heaved as his thumb rubbed against the small slit on his head, coaxing the pre-cum out and allowing it to dissolve into the bath water like a wisp of white smoke.

Another hand snuck lower and took a grip of one of his balls, and the contact felt comforting and arousing. Tavros jolted a little at the touch and gripped the side of the bathtub until his knuckles turned white. Teeth grazed his neck and his hot, red ears. His face was flushed, and suddenly everything felt too hot. He pulled away, (or tried to within the confines of a cramped tub), and brushed Gamzee's arms away.

He turned to meet the other man's confused gaze, but before he could say anything, Tavros turned his body fully around (rather clumsily) and dipped dipped his head under the water. He wasn't entirely sure what he was doing as he opened his eyes under the water. It stung, but they only needed to be open for a moment before his mouth found Gamzee's erect member. He had never given a blowjob, let alone one _under water_, however he already started so there was no stopping it.

The appendage in his mouth seemed strange and foreign, and the taste was diluted by the water, but it felt hot against his tongue. There was a salty sensation against the back of is tongue as well, but he couldn't taste anymore than that. He made sure his mouth was wide and that his tongue barely grazed the sensitive skin as his tongue explored the unknown. He could feel the bumps of veins beneath his tongue. The body against him tensed as his appendage stroked the other along the sensitive nerves. He drew back, curling his lips around the head. He could feel the end of the shaft and the small, salty slit. Tavros finally felt his lungs burn and he came up for air, releasing the swollen cock. For the first time he felt fingers tight in his hair and another one on his shoulder. Tavros looked up at Gamzee, who was panting. His pale face was flushed deep red and he had a hungry gleam in his eyes.

Their lips met, and Tavros tasted Gamzee's mouth. The other man smelt faintly of weed and very cheap body spray, probably an Axe rip-off. His mouth was flavorful and hot, and the younger man couldn't get enough of it as his tongue met Gamzee's. He felt his fingers curl around his cock again and he shuddered, moaning around the other man's mouth. When they broke apart for air, Tavros only took a moment before diving back into the water and almost greedily taking Gamzee's member into his mouth. It was hard to give a blowjob under water, but it was also an exciting new experience. The older man's hips bucked and Tavros barely avoided being chocked. He came up for air before returning and running his tongue along the shift. His fingers tripped the base so he could move around and make sure his tongue found every piece of skin on the swollen cock, but his trips for air was more frequent.

Gamzee noticed his and lifted his hips partially out of the water. Most of his member was sticking out of the water by now, but it was probably difficult to keep his hips out of the water, so Tavros would have to finish it quickly. Not that... he knew HOW to do that. He was just winging it at this point, or copying what he has seen out of porn.

His mouth closed around Gamzee's head and began to suck the tip. It was way easier out of water, but not as thrilling. Still, it was a new experience for him and he didn't want to ruin it. Now, with the member out of water, he could taste it better. It was salty and musky and tasted like Gamzee. He wanted to come so bad just from his mouth engulfing the hot, swollen cock. He never thought it would have tasted, or felt, so amazing and stimulating.

A hand trailed down his back, managing to reach his plump rump. A finger slid down between his ass cheeks, and he almost choked when a digit rubbed up against his entrance. It pressed against the tight ring of muscle, and Tavros shook at the new feeling. He never knew that his anus could so sensitive, but he had to sit up and moan. A hand guided him back down to Gamzee's erect member, and he went back to sucking it. The finger on his behind twirled around his entrance, pressing a bit harder until the digit managed to enter the tight ring of muscle. It began to burn at this point, having something go into a hole that is strictly used for having things go out, but it felt so natural, so right. His thick, rushed breath embraced Gamzee's erection, causing deep groans to arise from the man. His scrawny, pale chest heaved, and Tavros' hand drew up the older man's sternum and to his chest. He curled his fingers against the thin chest hair, using it almost as leverage.

While his jaw and head moved, he ran his hand all along Gamzee's front, occasionally landing on one of his nipples and squeezing it between his digits. When he did this, he could feel Gamzee's reaction more than he heard of see it. His body tensed, and he leaned eagerly into the fingers for more stimulation.

Gamzee's hips had begun lowering back into the water, and once again he was submerged. He ignored the small inconvenience as best he could and just continued bobbling his head, coming up for air every few moments. His hand did a lot of the work by now, since he was distracted with getting enough air. He could almost sense that Gamzee was close to coming. His breaths were short and quick and his hips moved with Tavros' hand and mouth. The hand that had been fiddling with his entrance was now squeezing one of his cheeks, almost painfully. His other hand was moving through his hair beckoning him onward.

"Ngghh... Tav-" He groaned, tipping his head back.

Hearing his name be said in such a desperate tone was almost unreal. His erection begged to be tended to, but with both of their hands occupied, nothing could be done about the pressing boner. He bit his lip and took Gamzee's head, pressing his tongue against the warm shaft. He sucked the tip before putting his head down, testing to see how much he could take. It wasn't much since he was inexperienced, but he was determined to make Gamzee happy. He could hear the other one moan and pant despite the water in his ears.

Gamzee's hips rose again, predictably because he was close to release. He could hear it in his hushed murmurs veiled in loud moans of pleasure. He tried to work faster, but with Gamzee bucking his hips, it was hard to stay focused. He nearly chocked with every thrust, so he lifted his mouth off it and pumped with a strong grip. The room was hot, the water was hot, but mostly importantly Gamzee was hot. He was panting heavily, deeply, and pressing his fingers into Tavros' scalp.

"Ah... n ahhh don't motherfuckin' stop – Tav – nngggh – " Gamzee growled, suddenly his grip tightening. Tavros knew it was here and he did the last few thrusts with both hands.

The climax was blinding, mostly because it ended up all over Tavros' face and into his open mouth. The taste of another man's semen coated his tongue, and he swallowed what was in his mouth. He was close to his own climax, but before he could finish himself off, Gamzee helped Tavros out of the warm water and onto the edge of the tub where he engulfed his swollen erection and sucked him off until he came as well. Gamzee's mouth was warm and wet, and he kept the cock in his mouth even when Tavros came. He swallowed it without even gagging, and licked it clean. His face was flushed, and when he was done he pulled Tavros back into the water where he embraced him tightly, kissing up and down his neck.

"You feelin' anymore at ease?" He murmured into Tavros' ear.

Tavros was still seeing stars, so he closed his eyes and rested his cheek against Gamzee's shoulder. He let Gamzee take a cloth and wash him off. The warm water and suds felt nice on his back, but not as nice as what they just did. When Gamzee was done washing him off, he helped him out of the tub. They dried off, not all the way, and moved to Gamzee's bedroom where they laid naked in the light of Gamzee's lava lamp collection, entwined in purple sheets. He felt euphoric, but the excitement and anxiety of tomorrow's surgery was still fresh in the back of his mind. But he knew Gamzee would take care of him, and he knew he could trust him. He felt himself fall asleep, tired from release, his last thoughts of how warm the other man felt.


End file.
